Cross My Heart

by Carly Phillips

  He chose his words with care, refusing to be a party to his mother’s lie—if he could help it. He still didn’t think Lilly needed to know the ugly truth. Sometimes lies of omission were the kindest ones. But should the truth ever come out, he didn’t want Lilly to be able to say he perpetuated the lie after her return.

  “Your mother was one of my better memories.” Lilly’s soft smile hit him in the gut. “Just like you are.”

  That did it. He’d spent the evening keeping his distance in every way he could. From the moment she’d stepped out of his guest room wearing a simple but elegant black dress and a pair of high heels that accentuated her long legs, he knew he’d better build his walls higher. It hadn’t helped. When he’d found her in her old bedroom, arms curled around a stuffed animal, he’d had to stop himself from lifting her into his arms and carrying her out of that house and away from those people.

  Instead, he’d opted to let her find her own inner strength. She’d put her demons behind her, telling him he’d been right. Except now, she wasn’t just independent, she was sure of herself and what she wanted.

  And she obviously wanted him.

  He swallowed hard, trying like hell to focus on their conversation and not on how her tousled hair fell sexily around her face or how her cheeks had turned pink from the breeze.

  He cleared his throat. “Well, now that everyone knows you’re alive, you can just stop by my mother’s any time before you go back to New York.”

  And that was the kicker, Ty thought. She’d be going home to a life she enjoyed. Hadn’t she said as much from the moment he’d found her again? No matter how important she claimed he was to her, Lilly’s new life didn’t include him.

  “I’ll definitely go see Flo.” Lilly nodded, decision made. “I didn’t get a chance to thank you for coming with me tonight. Whether you knew it or not, having you there made the night bearable.”

  “I’m glad and you’re welcome.”

  Without warning, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. “You’re the best,” she whispered, her breath soft and warm in his ear.

  He was also damn aroused and getting more so by the second. Her breasts pushed against his chest and her cheek brushed lightly, enticingly against his. The moment quickly turned from gratitude to so much more.

  She lifted her head, questions in her dark eyes. As she moved, her long, lithe body molded to his. Her nipples tightened, and as if there were no clothing between them, the tight peaks pressed into his skin.

  A low, need-filled groan pushed up from the back of his throat.

  Her eyes opened wider, a soft rush of uneven breath escaping.

  “Ty?” She ran her tongue nervously over her lips, moistening them.

  His body envisioned all sorts of possibilities, and his ever-analytical mind wasn’t helping. It raced with the pros and cons of saying to hell with caution and giving in to what they both wanted.

  He knew the moment he gave in and he understood his reasons. He already knew he’d never get her out of his heart, so why not enjoy what she offered?

  If she was offering. He was no longer a child unable to cope with loss or desertion, nor was he the young man too stupid to go after the girl he loved. What he was was an adult capable of having an affair and moving on afterward.

  Yeah, right. But just because he knew better didn’t mean he intended to stop himself and regret it for the rest of his sorry life.

  He looked into her passion-filled eyes. Passion for him alone. “Lilly, I need you to be sure, because if we start something right now, there’s no way I’m going to be able to stop.” His words were as much a warning to her as notice to himself.

  This would be it.

  There would be no turning back.

  “Oh.”

  She waited, saying nothing more as his heart beat out a rapid, nervous rhythm.

  He reminded himself that if she walked away now, he’d be no worse off than he was last night and the night before that. Hell, other than needing another ice-cold shower and suffering from even less hours of sleep, he’d probably be a lot better off. Because then he wouldn’t know what it felt like to make love to Lilly. To lose himself in her soft, moist flesh as he’d been dreaming of night after night.

  “It’s probably a mistake,” she said at last, her voice soft.

  “Definitely,” he agreed. Not that his aching body would agree.

  She drew a deep breath and still he waited.

  “On the other hand, I’ve wondered for so long.” Her fingers slid upwards through his hair.

  Her hands were warm against his scalp and his nerve endings tingled as she playfully tugged and massaged with her fingertips.

  He let out a long, slow groan. “I’ve wondered, too. I’ve asked myself what you’d feel like when I pulled you against me like this.” He cupped his hands around her, feeling the indent and definition of her waist, wondering what she’d feel like naked and writhing against his hardened groin.

  She remained silent, and despite the passing of years, he knew what she was thinking. Knew she struggled with the decision. He remained silent, wanting the choice to be hers. Wanting any regrets or morning-after thoughts to be hers alone, not something he’d induced thanks to his own state of pent-up yearning for this woman and this woman alone.

  Because despite how still he stood, he was damn close to exploding. If she gave him the green light, he figured he’d barely make it past the couch to his bedroom a mere few feet away. He’d worry about his own regrets later and he knew he’d have more than a few.

  “Lilly?” He was asking for her decision, begging actually, his voice a ragged sound he barely recognized.

  “Ty,” she said softly. Seductively. Sincerely.

  His groin responded, increasing the pressure as he waited.

  She didn’t disappoint him. Without breaking eye contact, she reached onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips directly against his. She was hot for him, her mouth insistent, her lips telling him she was as eager as he. He slid his tongue inside, gliding back and forth, tasting her sweet heat for what seemed like an eternity, tongues tangling, dueling, embracing in a desperate bid for completion the likes of which he’d never felt before.

  She pulled his shirttail from the waistband of his pants, settling her palms against his back. He loved the feel of her small hands caressing and kneading his skin. He loved the feel of her. He bit down on her neck to show her just how much.

  “Mmm. Do it again,” she murmured on a low purr.

  He obliged, grazing her with his teeth until she moaned with pleasure. His groin throbbed and he broke into a sweat.

  Little buttons rose up the length of her dress and he started working on them, one by challenging one.

  “There’s a zipper in the back that might make it easier,” she said, her eyes glittering with amusement.

  He hurt too much to laugh. She turned and lifted her hair, revealing the tiny zipper and her slender neck.

  He slid the hook down along her back, but instead of sliding the dress off her shoulders, he first leaned forward and pressed his lips against her bared skin and lingered, nibbling at her soft flesh.

  She shuddered and let out an erotic-sounding groan. He wanted to hear that noise again, but this time he’d be inside her. Just not yet. He was beginning to discover how much he enjoyed foreplay with Lilly.

  “You like this.”

  “Mmm.”

  Approving of her answer, he kissed her neck again, this time sliding his tongue over skin he’d tasted. He alternately nibbled and soothed until she writhed with pleasure, stepping backwards until her bottom came into direct contact with his straining groin.

  He closed his eyes, savoring the desire building inside him. His hips jutted forward and he nearly came then.

  He slid his hands around until he cupped her breasts from behind and discovered her nipples were drawn into tight peaks, begging for his attention and his touch. He didn’t know what she looked like nude
, though he’d imagined many times and dreamed about it even more. He needed to find out.

  He turned her around before pushing the dress off her shoulders and watching as it pooled around her ankles on the floor. Reality proved even better than his dreams. Her breasts were fuller than he’d thought, her black bra pushing her breasts upwards until they appeared to overflow the lace-edged cups. Her face was flushed, the blush spreading down her neck to her chest, and he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

  She cleared her throat and his gaze shot upwards, meeting hers.

  “You could say something,” she said, her embarrassment sweet and endearing.

  “I might be speechless, but I’m not too stunned to do this.” He picked her up and carried her into his bedroom. The way he’d always dreamed of doing.

  Chapter Nine

  Ty’s bedroom had been his sanctuary since Lilly had come to stay with him. After tonight, he wouldn’t be able to escape her anywhere in his small apartment. Her scent and her touch would be with him wherever he went.

  He strode into the room and placed her onto the mattress, which dipped under their joint weight.

  She pushed herself back, upwards against his pillows. “Is there a reason I’m the only one undressed?” She tossed the challenge his way, her hot gaze raking over him.

  He grinned. “If you ask me, you’re still wearing way too many clothes,” he said, and eyed her, too, enjoying the sight of her in just a skimpy bra and panties. His gaze slid down her flat stomach and long legs, ending at her bare feet.

  His erection strained against its confinement, and he couldn’t deny she’d made a good point. He sat back and began unbuttoning his shirt, just one piece of clothing blocking him from getting closer to Lilly. He dropped his shirt onto the carpet before working on his pants. Undoing the button, he then hooked his thumbs into both the waistband of both his slacks and briefs, and together he threw both items into the pile along with the shirt.

  To complete his mission, he added his socks as well, then turned to face her.

  She slid her tongue over her lips, her wide eyes pinned to his erection. His body was as hard as a brick, his need for her reaching the point of no return, yet he knew they’d never have these firsts again. And they’d waited too long to rush things now.

  “Now who has too many clothes?” He cocked his head to one side, tossing the challenge back her way.

  Her cheeks were flushed, but a slow, seductive smile curved her lips as she reached for the front clasp of her bra. She turned her fingers to unhook the catch, shimmied her shoulders and let the garment slide down her bare arms. She dangled it from her fingertips in a deliberate show before adding it to the pile below.

  Lilly held his attention completely, his gaze fastened on her freed breasts, creamy white mounds of tempting, full flesh, ready and peaked for his attention. But when he slid closer and reached out to remove her panties himself, she laughed and smacked his hand.

  “I’m a big girl now,” she reminded him.

  And how, he thought as she wagged a finger in a chiding motion. But apparently Lilly wasn’t finished, and he sat back to enjoy, his cock hard and erect, desperately waiting to slide inside her wet flesh.

  “I also figured turnabout is fair play. You tortured me, I’m going to do the same to you,” she said, teasing him.

  She slid her fingers into the thin edges of her panties and wiggled them down her legs, slowly revealing the swirl of dark hair hidden beneath the silk. Her hips swiveled from side to side, and finally, when the last scrap of clothing joined the others on the floor, Ty reached his breaking point.

  He exhaled a long groan and pulled Lilly down onto the comforter, aligning his body fully, blessedly on top of hers. Skin against skin, no barriers, nothing between them, he kept his body’s needs at bay and held on to the moment he’d longed for for what felt like a lifetime.

  A sweet sigh echoed from the back of her throat, and he’d never heard a more satisfying sound. She was meant to be in his bed and in his arms, arousing him and making him feel whole. He ran his hands through her hair, kissed her mouth, and ground his hips into hers, but his body told him he couldn’t possibly last.

  “Hang on,” he said, pushing himself over toward his nightstand where he had protection in the top drawer.

  “Convenient,” she said. Her eyes had clouded over.

  “Lilly—”

  She shook her head. “That came out all wrong. Of course we need protection. I just wish we’d… that we… that you…” The words were obviously lodged in her throat.

  “Say it,” he urged. Though he knew what she was thinking, he needed to hear the words anyway.

  She tipped her head to one side, her hair brushing her shoulders. He reached out and curled one strand around his fingertips, hoping the contact would give her courage.

  “It’s just that I wish you’d been my first,” she said, the words coming out on a pain-filled whisper.

  He nodded, understanding completely. He wasn’t a man of many words, but she deserved to know what was in his heart. “I wish you’d been mine, too.”

  God, how many times had he had that thought over the years and how gratifying to know she’d felt the same. He hadn’t been the same after she’d gone. He’d been left with the sense that he’d lost something not only precious but important in ways he couldn’t understand.

  And now he was about to.

  He leaned close and brushed his lips over hers and immediately lost not just control, but his sense of time and place. All he remembered was ultimately coming over her at the same time he hooked one leg around hers, widening her legs, making room for himself in the molten heat awaiting him.

  He slid one fingertip inside her, spreading her sexy juices over her thick, dewy folds. Her hips rose without warning, that triangular dark expanse he’d eyed earlier jutting upwards, pulling his finger deeper inside her tight, wet sheath. He no longer wondered if she was ready for him. He knew, just as his shaking body informed him he was ready for her.

  He paused only long enough to cover himself with protection before bracing his hands on either side of her head and poising his body over hers.

  “Would you rather be on top?” he asked her, taking himself by surprise.

  He’d never wondered with any other woman. Never cared to ask, no matter what position they happened to be in, because sex was sex. As he’d always sensed would be the case, anything with Lilly was so much more.

  “Anywhere, any way with you works just fine for me.” She forced her heavy eyelids open as she spoke.

  The honest feelings he saw there blew him away.

  “Besides, I’m assuming this won’t be the one and only time tonight, so I’ll have my chance to experiment later.” Once again, she surprised him.

  Damn but he enjoyed her. Everything with Lilly was just right.

  He nodded and eased himself inside her for the first time. Slowly, bit by excruciating bit, he pushed into her, his body straining as she gradually widened just enough for a perfect fit. His cock pulsed, and his body fought against the way he held himself back, giving her time to accept and to feel.

  Heaven knew he’d never felt anything so intense in his entire life. “Are you okay?”

  She bent her knees higher, pulling him further inside. “How’s that for an answer?” she asked, her voice sounding husky and deep.

  He got the point. He pulled out slowly and she moaned, her body shaking and trembling beneath him, squeezing him tighter in order to hold him inside and prevent him from pulling out completely. She had no reason to worry. All he’d wanted was slick passage and he got it, diving back into her with more force. More caring.

  She lifted her hips to meet his, her small mound grinding into the base of his shaft. Arousal and desire peaked, his body’s needs driving him out of his mind. He pumped into her, feeling every inch buried inside her. Then he pulled out, depriving them both again, deliberately building momentum and need. In and out, in and—without warning she crossed he
r ankles behind his back, anchoring herself against him so she could lift her behind off the bed and lock her hips tight against his.

  She wanted pressure, so he gave her pressure, twisting and turning his hips, meeting her motions, until together they found the perfect rhythm. The one that brought them higher and higher, closer and closer to climax.

  Beneath him, she whimpered with need, her soft sounds begging him to give her release. He slid one hand around and found the place where their bodies met, the moist wet spot that let him tease her just enough.

  “Ty, Ty, Ty.”

  She came apart where he’d always wanted her to, in his arms, calling out his name, triggering a gut-wrenching climax of his own. His body tensed, and then complete pleasure washed over him in waves of desire he never wanted to end.

  And as he finally came back down and fuzzy awareness returned, he collapsed on top of her, her name on his lips.

  Lacey tossed and turned. Beside her, Ty slept soundly, and she envied him the ability. After making love with Ty, not once but twice, she had too much on her mind to sleep and she lay back against the pillows, trying unsuccessfully to relax.

  She gripped the comforter and pulled the blanket tighter around her, inhaling deep. The musky scent of sex and Ty filled her nostrils. Suddenly he snored, a discovery that nearly made her laugh aloud. She turned to study him as he slept. How many times had she dreamt of watching the man she’d fallen in love with at seventeen, asleep after they’d made love?

  She didn’t know where things between them were headed. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. For now she just wanted to enjoy, but she couldn’t begin to do that until she’d taken care of some personal business back home in New York.

  It was late, a little past eleven. Normally Lilly was preoccupied with her career, but not tonight. She’d been checking in daily with the woman in charge of Odd Jobs while she was gone. It helped that Odd Jobs operated on the same schedules, if not weekly then monthly, which enabled someone to oversee things while the daily tasks ran smoothly. Knowing all was well allowed her to keep a clear mind while she stayed here in Hawken’s Cove.