Rafferty (Default Distraction Book 2)

by A. S. Roberts

  Reluctantly, I pulled open the main door and undid the bolts at the top and bottom of its partner, making sure by opening both that the gap was wide enough to allow room for his trolley, without it removing chips of paint from the doorframes. I could feel the heat of the tearoom being sucked out into the cold of the morning and mouthed a couple of hot breath rings into the early morning. Offering the delivery driver a small wave, I stepped out further onto the crisp covering of snow and got on with the job in hand.

  An hour later, I had put everything away and had done my weekly check of the tearooms. Normally, I would now make my way back upstairs to get back into bed for a while. But I already missed Raff and didn’t need the smell of him on my sheets reminding me just how much. So, I walked around the tearoom instead, unnecessarily double checking everything and working up the courage to do what I knew I needed to. With relief, I heard a door close in my flat above me and knew Amy had found her way home. Hopefully we could catch up later, but for now I had other things to deal with.

  I pulled out a chair from a small round table and sat down. My stomach churned and I forced myself to count in my head and control my breathing as I prepared to make the call I’d been dreading. I touched the correct buttons on my phone and closed my eyes as I heard it ring on the other end.

  ‘Morning,’ he answered.

  At the sound of Toby’s voice, I placed my phone onto the table and put it on to loud speaker. Doing so meant I could now use both hands to quietly tear up a Christmas napkin, which until one second ago had been carefully folded and placed there waiting for our next guests. As I tore long, straight pieces, I managed to keep a lid on the threatening anxiety that was beginning to bubble up inside me.

  ‘Hi,’ I answered. ‘Hope you’re okay.’ I didn’t wait for an answer as it wasn’t really a question. It was more something I felt I should be saying to the guy I had cheated on several times yesterday. ‘I was wondering when you thought you might be home?’ I made my voice lift as I tried to keep the conversation light.

  Please let it be soon. I had to get the conversation I needed to have with him over as soon as possible, but I refused to be that awful person who did it over the phone.

  ‘Missing me, Lauren?’ I could hear the smile in his voice and looking up I caught sight of the grimace on my face in the large French Baroque styled mirror that took up the whole of the chimney breast in the tearoom.

  ‘Oh, you know,’ I replied as I swallowed, panic took over and made my hands begin to shake a little. It resulted in one of my tears in the napkin going slightly wrong. My heart accelerated in response and my breathing grew shallow. I took a deep breath and held it, willing myself to calm down.

  ‘Well, you’ll be pleased to know that I’m on my way back now. I should be there in approximately two and a half hours.’

  My hand screwed up the by now ruined napkin and I watched the knuckles of my hand go white in complete contrast to the red coloured napkin.

  ‘That’s great.’ Anyone who knew me or paid me any attention at all would have been able to tell by my tone of voice that I didn’t think it was great at all, but as usual it went straight over his head. ‘Do you think you could come straight here to see me, please?’

  I had never slept with anyone other than the person I was in a relationship with and I hated myself for doing it to Toby. He deserved more than that and I needed to tell him as soon as possible that our relationship was over.

  ‘You are missing me… I’ll be over as soon as I’ve popped in to see Mum.’

  I shook my head slightly at his answer.

  ‘Okay, see you then.’ I touched the red phone icon and disconnected the call.

  If being in love with another man wasn’t enough of a reason to break off our relationship, there was another one. I had never come first in Toby’s life and I knew that I never would, and now I understood that it wasn’t enough for me. But, I couldn’t lay the blame for the way I felt about Raff at Toby’s door. I needed to tell him that although he had mentioned marriage to me a few weeks ago, we weren’t meant to be together and that us getting married wasn’t going to happen.

  I stood up, tidied the mess I’d made at the table and pushed the chair back in. There was no way I could wait upstairs in my flat for Toby to arrive, so I walked over to the centralised log burner in the tearoom and throwing the used napkin inside I lit the already laid fire. A few minutes was all it took for the fire to take hold, then I closed the glass door and stood up. I rubbed my hands together and then held them open to the sudden invasion of warmth breaking the chill of the air around me.

  Now, what can I do?

  A knock sounding on the closed door of the tearoom brought me to and I turned my head to find a set of silver-grey eyes staring at me through the glass. I blinked and looked at them again quickly realising that it wasn’t Raff, but his son Flint. On his back, he had a red-haired little girl and taking a look at her face as she peered up from the protection of his shoulder, I could see she was crying.

  I weaved my way quickly around the furniture to open the locked door.

  ‘Come in.’ I opened the door wide and using one arm I waved them both inside to the warm. ‘What’s happened?’ I questioned Flint as I reached behind him to rub her gently on the back.

  ‘Hi, Lauren. Can I put Brie down over there?’ He tilted his head towards a small two seater settee next to the log burner.

  ‘Yes.’ I nodded as I answered him and then I followed behind them.

  I watched him twist his body slightly and then bend his knees so he could gently place her down on the settee. Without saying another word to me he rearranged the settee around her. I watched him work, wondering how a fourteen-year-old boy could manage to show so much control and empathy in a situation that involved a young child. Finally, making sure the pillows were comfortable under her head he brushed the hair off her face and then turned back to me.

  ‘Thanks for letting us in. Brie has fallen over and she’s cut both her knees through her leggings.’

  I nodded at him and looked quickly at the bloodied dirt patches on her knees.

  ‘What happened?’

  He replied as I made my way to the counter behind me and grabbed the green first aid box from underneath it.

  ‘We were out walking, when a gun fired in the woods behind The Manor and Biscuit, Brie’s dog, took off. We ran after him, but we couldn’t find him and then she fell over.’

  ‘Oh, you poor thing, Brie. Well you’ve both come to the right place,’ I empathised with Brie and nodded at Flint, mouthing to him that everything would be okay. I could see how worried he was for her. The concerned expression on his face was like Raff’s. I could see how uncomfortable he felt as I watched him push his longer hair out of his face and behind both of his ears. I moved around him and crouched next to the settee. Brie was a pretty little girl and my heart broke for her as I listened to her sob for her dog.

  ‘Hi, Brie. My name is Lauren. I saw you at The Manor yesterday.’ I took one of her hands in mine, pulled off the dirty, holed mitten it was enclosed in and held it between my own as I tried to get some warmth into her. Then I did the same with her other hand.

  Brie wiped her face on her other sleeve and looked up at me with the most beautiful green eyes I’d ever seen. Slowly, I put two and two together. She was Luke and Cerise’s daughter. She had her mum’s stunning bone structure and her dad’s Irish colouring.

  ‘My doggy, Biscuit. He can’t die. He can’t,’ she sobbed.

  ‘I’m sure he’s just exploring. Your dad will find him and while he’s looking we need to clean up your knees, don’t we?

  ‘My hands hurt too.’

  She stopped sniffling and turned both of her open palms towards me to show me two pink looking hands that were scraped and full of pieces of grit.

  ‘We’ll start with those then, shall we?’ I smiled at her and watched her nod her head and offer me a small smile.

  ‘Have you phoned for help, Flint?’ I could fee
l him behind me.

  ‘I couldn’t get a signal and there’s nothing wrong with my phone, it must be this sketchy place.’ I could almost hear the scowl that I knew without turning around, would most definitely be planted on his handsome face.

  Like father, like son. I thought with a smile.

  ‘You can use my phone. It’s in the office, which is down that corridor behind me.’

  ‘I’ll be back soon, Brie. Lauren’s kind, she’ll look after you.’ Looking at her face I saw her accept his words and got on with what needed doing.

  Hearing his footsteps retreat behind me, I started to dab at Brie’s hands with antibacterial wipes, doing it as carefully as possible. ‘Oh, and, Flint,’ I shouted.

  ‘Yes,’ he answered.

  ‘The phone, it’s on my desk. You have to pick up the receiver and dial the numbers.’

  ‘Dial the numbers?’ I heard the question in his voice and turned around to show him.

  ‘Yes, you put your finger in the hole over the digit you need and make the dial go clockwise until your finger hits the bar and then release the dial. It will go back automatically, then you dial the next number you need. You can find the telephone number for The Manor on top of my desk, on a sort of emergency contact list I made for my cousin.’

  I’d used my hands to show him in mid-air what was required and watched with amusement as his forehead creased in a “what the fuck” look. Then he was gone and I turned my attention back to the patient in front of me.

  A few minutes later, I’d cleaned Brie up and Flint was back behind us.

  ‘Lauren… Luke, Brie’s dad, wants to know if we can stay here for a while, if that’s okay?’

  ‘Yes, that’s fine.’ I turned to him, just in time to see him disappear back down the corridor.

  ‘So, what do you say to a nice hot chocolate with marshmallows?’ I questioned Brie.

  Her green eyes sparkled a little as she momentarily forgot her sadness and she nodded her answer to me.

  ‘Lay there then for a little while and I’ll start making it.’

  She sat up quickly and flung her arms around my neck and squeezed.

  ‘Thank you, Flinty said you were nice.’

  Then her warm arms were gone and with her face only inches away from mine, I could see her fears creeping back into her head.

  ‘I’m sure your daddy, Raff, Cade and Brody will find Biscuit. In fact, I know they will.’ In my head, I was praying with everything I had that my words would come true.

  ‘He has to. He can’t die… My mom died. Please, Lauren, tell me he won’t?’

  I saw something flicker through her eyes as she sat there and realised that the beautiful young child that I pulled quickly into my chest to hug, was terrified of losing something else in her life. I’d known Cerise, albeit briefly, seventeen years ago. She was a dancer and had come into Luke’s life a few weeks before I’d left Raff’s. I had immediately been drawn to the vibrant girl and had cried when I’d read how she’d died, leaving her husband and daughter behind.

  ‘I know they’ll find him, Brie.’ I said a quick prayer in my head. ‘I knew your mummy and she would be so proud of how brave you’re being.’

  ‘You knew my mom?’ Her green eyes were set alight as she questioned me.

  ‘I did and she was lovely, you look like her you know?’

  ‘Daddy says I’m pretty like her,’ she whispered.

  ‘Yes, she was very beautiful.’ I stroked my finger along her jawline and then touched the end of her nose briefly with my index finger. ‘And so are you.’

  ‘She was a dancer and I dance too,’ she offered.

  ‘That’s amazing, Brie. When you’re all grown up and famous, I’ll come and watch you sometime.’

  For the first time her smile reached her eyes. ‘I’d like that, Lauren. You can tell me if my mom would have liked my dancing.’

  I was feeling emotionally fragile already and had to fight back tears at her words.

  ‘All done.’ I heard the shout from Flint and was grateful for the interruption, not only for myself but also for the beautiful little girl who was on the settee in front of me. I watched her peer around me and look for Flint.

  The two of them may have been years apart in age, but they had a connection. She smiled her welcome to him as he drew closer to us and dropped to his knees to wipe away the semi dried tears that were forming salty tracks down her pale cheeks.

  ‘That’s better, shorty.’ He smiled down at her. ‘Now, you’re not to worry, because your dad, Uncle Raff and Uncle Cade have walked out of the meeting they were in. They’re out looking for Biscuit with the gamekeepers. I know they’ll find him. You know what he’s like, he probably ignored us earlier and got into trouble somewhere.’

  Brie smiled gratefully up at him. At first I thought she looked up at him like a younger child looked at their older sibling, then I realised she looked at him more like her protector, her hero. The band only had the two children between them and I supposed that would make them close, whatever their ages.

  Sniffing, I quickly swallowed down my emotions, got to my feet quickly and moved away, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. ‘Come on then, Flint,’ I called over my shoulder. ‘I’ll need a hand with the hot chocolate making.’

  The three of us had eaten our marshmallows without a spoon, after I’d declared a marshmallow bobbing war. Subsequently, Brie had stood up on her chair and the three of us had bobbed our heads down and plunged our faces several times into the oversized teacups. We were a mess at the end, all three of us had managed to cover our mouths and noses in freshly whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles, which we’d added to the top. Christmas music blared out from the radio I’d switched on earlier, as Flint and I had made the chocolate, and laughter filled the tearooms. I was more than happy to spend my time with them both, talking and laughing as we occupied each other, all the while waiting for our problems to hopefully resolve themselves. Snow continued to fall outside and although I had yet to have my conversation with Toby, it felt Christmassy and exciting.

  Could I dare hope that this might be my life from here on?

  Whenever I felt it was possible, I had looked intently at Flint, trying to work out from the few things he said and did, what made him tick. I was more than ready to be a mum to my own, with any luck. But, when I married Raff I was going to become his step-mum and I only hoped I would make a good job of it.

  After finishing up our drinks and laughing at Flint mimicking Cade, we had gone to the kitchen to wash the large teacups. I wanted to keep the atmosphere happy and upbeat, not only for them both but for me too. I’d thought about what we could do while we all continued to wait. Suddenly, as I glanced around the clean, quiet space, an idea came over me.

  ‘I need some helpers, so who’s up for helping me bake some shortbread?’ I placed my hands on my hips and spun around to face them both. I had asked the question with a smile on my face as I was convinced Flint wouldn’t be up for it. I was certain a fourteen-year-old boy would think he had much better things to do with his time, but I also knew how concerned he was for Brie and knew he would do anything to keep her busy while we waited for news.

  Imagine my surprise when I watched a broad grin grow until it covered the width of his face.

  ‘What? Do you mean we could bake now?’ he asked, as the grey in his eyes sparkled like silver glitter.

  ‘Yes.’ I smiled at him as I took down a few clean aprons from the linen shelf and piled them on the work top. ‘Are you up for it?’

  ‘Definitely, count me in. Shortbread, that’s sort of cookies, isn’t it?’

  I wanted to answer that it was in fact a Scottish biscuit, but didn’t want to catapult Brie into melancholy at me mentioning her dog’s name, so I nodded instead.

  ‘Great, then you both need to wash your hands, in the sink over there.’ I put the dry teacups onto the china rack and followed them over to wash my own hands. Flint pulled the one and only stool in the kitchen away from t
he corner and placed it in front of the worktop. Then he lifted Brie up and onto it. Once he’d finished, I passed him a folded in half apron and he placed it on her lap, then looped his over his head with practised ease and tied it up at the back.

  ‘My daddy loves cookies.’ Brie clapped her hands together in glee at the thought of making something for Luke. He had lost Cerise, I thought sadly, but he was a lucky man and I hoped he realised it. The gorgeous little girl loved her dad with everything she had. How lucky are people to have that kind of adoration and unconditional love? I was happy for them both, but a little bit jealous.

  I grabbed all the ingredients we needed and set them in front of the two children. The three of us set to work, chatting as we did so. It seemed easier to chat once we weren’t all looking at each other over a table. Like a production line we set to work. I measured the ingredients and used the mixer, Flint rolled out the mixture and Brie cut out the shapes. Before I knew it, we were on our second batch with one already in the oven.

  An immense happiness was taking over me as I watched Flint roll out the biscuit mix with ease and the look of absolute pleasure on his face as he did so. The kitchen was somewhere I’d always felt at home, courtesy of my lovely nan and her love of feeding her family.

  ‘So, you like to bake then, Flint?’

  I saw him nod in my peripheral vision.

  ‘I like baking, but I love to cook. Whenever I’m allowed I make up my own recipes.’

  ‘You do?’ I answered, trying not to sound too surprised as I did so.

  ‘Yes. But I don’t get to do it very often,’ he answered sadly.

  ‘Oh, why’s that?’

  He was about to answer when the oven timer sounded for me to pull out the trays of shortbread. I moved quickly, wiping my hands down my apron as I stepped towards the aluminium beast that took up half of one wall in the kitchen. Stopping the timer and feeling fragile from a lack of sleep the night before, I sighed in relief as the noise left the small space. I opened the door to the oven and holding onto it, I rose up a little as the heat poured out into the room, I then grabbed at the oven gloves and placed my hands inside. Finally, I pulled out the first couple of trays and after tilting them slightly, so both the children could see their handiwork, I placed them on the cooling racks nearby. Brie had stopped cutting and squealed with excitement as she saw the many Christmas shapes she had cut, now come to life.