Rafferty (Default Distraction Book 2)

by A. S. Roberts

  It took everything I fucking had to drive away from her. I’d sat for a while in the empty courtyard, touching the single word on the half heart and rolling the silver chain around in my palm. Finally, Winter had arrived at the door holding the bastard who was now engaged to my fucking girl, by the elbow. I knew by the look on her face that she’d taken charge and she’d convinced him that he needed to leave. Leaning forward on my steering wheel I stared at him through my narrow windscreen, loving that even from this distance I could see the swelling and bruising on his right cheek that I’d put there.

  He deserved it and so much fucking more. He’d read her right and taken the opportunity as it presented itself to him. I admired the bollocks of the bloke, but at the same time I would have happily cut them off the fucker.

  I wasn’t normally a violent bloke. Sure, I could stand up for myself and had been involved in a few fights here and there. But, the love and passion I had for Lauren added to the hate I had for him, brought out every aggressive and vicious response I had in me.

  Even the feel of being behind the wheel of my brand new car couldn’t mask the tsunami of emotion threatening to engulf me.

  How in the space of a few hours could all my hopes and dreams come crashing down so monumentally around my ears?

  ‘FUCK IT!’ I slammed my open palm against the black dashboard.

  Either my shout or the bang travelled over to Winter, who with a wave of her hand and a tut which I couldn’t hear but could make out on her lips, told me it was time to leave. Reluctantly nodding at her, I made my sleek machine pull almost silently out behind Toby’s ten-year-old, silver rust bucket.

  I revved my engine several times as we travelled through the narrow archway and onto the single lane that would either lead us left to the country lane, or right up the long winding driveway that led to The Manor. The moment the gravel track widened enough, I overtook and went alongside him. I jammed my foot down quickly on the accelerator and one-handed, turned the wheel quickly right. I knew anything loose on the track would be sprayed all over his vehicle. As I flew away from the junction, I looked into my rear-view mirror and winding down my window, I gave him the finger.

  For about ten seconds my childish behaviour gave me a sense of happiness, then as the electric window came back up into place, closing me into the small space, my true feelings flooded my system.

  I stopped myself from travelling too fast up the driveway the moment I saw a few of The Manor’s guests wandering around as they admired the white covered countryside of our new venture and home. Seeing children with their parents as they played in the snow brought me back to earth with a bump. I slowed the Bugatti down to watch them, until it was so slow I could almost hear the engine crying. The expensive car, the fact it was crawling by, started to get a few admiring and interested looks.

  Not wanting to face more of an audience than I had to, I turned the car to follow the track that would lead me around to the back of the house, the kitchen and the delivery entrance. I was trying to not think at all, in a bid to keep the pain inside me to a level I could cope with. I switched off the car, pulled myself out of the door and still holding tight to Lauren’s half of my heart, I made my way towards the back door. Without any thought as to what I was going to do next, I pressed the correct sequence of keys on the keypad and pulled open the heavy door.

  As luck would have it I found Brody sorting out a hamper in the large kitchen area and I knew it had to be for Amy.

  ‘Well, look what the fucking cat dragged in.’ I watched him freeze as he became aware of my presence. ‘If it isn’t Daniel.’ I carried on letting him become aware of my accusation in the sarcastic tone I used. We’d learnt he wasn’t being truthful about who he was. Amy had told the girls she was seeing a bloke called Daniel, when she was actually seeing our lead singer, Brody Daniels. Winter and Lauren were scared that with her past, finding out she was being lied to would break her.

  So, even with everything that was going on in my life, here I was trying to sort out his fuck up too.

  With his back to me, I heard the knife he’d been hacking at the bread with click, as it was slowly put down onto the board in front of him. He turned himself slowly around to face me and the accusation I’d left hanging in the air. Any other day and I would have entered the building and thrown my arm around his neck and pulled the bloke towards me, told him to treat her right, stolen some of the food he was making and left with a laugh as he told me to fuck off.

  But this wasn’t any other fucking day.

  Today, was the day I lost Lauren for the second time in my life and I was barely holding it together. I needed to make Brody see that if Amy meant something to him, and I was convinced that she did, looking at the picnic he was packing up for her, added to the fact that he’d virtually gone AWOL for the last couple of days. Well, I had to make him understand what he was doing, so he could take the only chance he might have to do right by her. He took me in for a few seconds, leant his arse down onto the polished metal preparation area behind him and sighed in acceptance, crossing his arms over his chest.

  I pulled up a stool behind me and sat down on it, mirroring his defensive body language. For a few seconds, we stared at each other.

  ‘Just slow the fuck up, I know where this is coming from.’ Brody held up his open palms to me, shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and then shrugging his shoulders at me he began to speak. ‘I never lied to Amy, she heard Cade calling out “Daniels” and she just took it from there.’

  I moved my head from side to side as I mulled over what he’d said and then pulled my mouth into a sneer.

  ‘Yeah, I’m reasonable, I can see that. We all call you Daniels, instead of arsehole, from time to time when we talk to you, but what about now?’

  ‘Oh, ha fucking ha, you’re a fucking comedian. Whadaya mean, what the fuck about now?’ His voice rose in volume in defence, he pulled his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms again.

  ‘You’re packing up a picnic, and it’s for Amy, don’t fucking tell me anything different.’

  ‘It could be for anybody,’ he snarled back, looking pissed that I knew what was going on.

  ‘Winter guessed that the “Daniel” Amy was talking about, was you. She and Lauren had a conversation with Amy after you slept with her the first time. Then last night, she disappeared from the drawing room next to where we played. The room that you were seen escaping into after our set. We looked around for about an hour before Winter put two and two together and we all realised she must have gone back to your room with you.’

  ‘Yeah, I was escaping. Hell, if it means that much to you all to know my business, you might as well know that we didn’t do much fucking sleeping… either night.’

  ‘Fuck, Brody! Don’t play fucking games here. What the actual fuck do you want with her?’

  He uncrossed his arms quickly, rubbed the hair on his head and started pointing his finger at me and my accusations.

  ‘Believe me when I tell you I’m not playing around here. This has the possibility to be so different from anything else I’ve ever had.’ I felt my eyebrows raise at him in question and yeah it had to be said, surprise. He crossed his arms yet again to stop his aggressive finger pointing in my fucking direction. ‘She hasn’t a clue who I am, and it’s seriously the best fucking thing ever. I know I will have to tell her. Eventually.’

  ‘Soon,’ I pointedly interrupted him.

  ‘Yeah, okay, fucking soon. I do know that. But just for a few days I want to be the guy she’s just met, the one who makes her heart flutter and her breathing quicken, just because I’m me and not some rock God. I want her to want to be with me for what she finds in here.’ He smashed his closed fist into his chest. ‘I’m sick to the fucking back teeth with the false fucking shit that’s been in our lives and that comes into our lives on a regular basis, because we’re in a band. Tell me you understand that?’

  ‘You know I do.’ Watching him, I could feel his pain. I k
new how sad he was to be having this conversation and in turn that helped me to slowly put a lid on my over spilling emotions.

  ‘Then just give me a few days.’ His voice was quiet and almost pleading in its tone.

  ‘Look, I grew up around here, with people like Amy. They’re not used to having people like us around.’ He raised his eyebrows at my “people like us,” not quite sure exactly what it was I was getting at. But, I could see that his brain had added two and two and come up with millions of reasons why someone like Amy wouldn’t want him and his troubled past in her life. I carried on trying to appease him. ‘I didn’t have a lot to do with her when we were younger, as you know I didn’t hang around here very long. But, she means the world to Winter and she’s Lauren’s cousin. So, you could say she’s like part of the family, just don’t hurt her. I do know that she has dealt with more shit in her life than a fucking pig farm.’ I caught the look on his face. ‘Yeah, I know you have too, but I’m serious. Do the fucking right thing by her, have your couple of days and then tell her who the fuck you are and let her make her own decision about it.’

  For a few seconds, there was silence in the kitchen as the last sentence hung in the air between us. Then he nodded resolutely at me. I pushed myself off the stool and walked up to him, and we man hugged for a few seconds before we slapped each other on the back.

  ‘So, how’s it going?’ he countered as I pulled away.

  ‘How’s what going?’ I followed the words with a deep sigh, I knew exactly what he was asking.

  He smirked at my pathetic attempt to divert where the conversation was now heading.

  ‘Lauren,’ he added.

  ‘Oh… Lauren. Mmmm… Well, she’s just got engaged and it’s not to me.’ I could feel my face contort with pain as I spoke the words.

  ‘Fuck,’ was all he could offer in answer.

  ‘Yeah, see ya later. Have fun, but do right by her and be good to her, take it from me you may never get the opportunity again.’ My voice was heavily laden with regret.

  I walked towards the kitchen door, feeling his eyes boring deeply into my back as the door opened I stepped through it quickly and out the other side. I knew he meant well, but I hadn’t got the answers to the many questions I knew he wanted to ask and I was grateful to leave the conversation behind.

  It was a relief to make it to the start of our private wing. I’d come past several members of staff and a few guests on the way through the building. I’d managed to nod or offer them a half-hearted smile, when I was convinced a few of them had wanted to exchange a few words with me.

  I wasn’t in the mood for conversational small talk and I didn’t want to inflict my ugly mood on anyone else. They didn’t need it, and I didn’t need the questions and the possible fall out that my anger was sure to bring.

  I needed some down time.

  I needed some time to think, to come up with a plan.

  I always had a plan to help everyone else. Now, I needed one to help me.

  I almost jogged the last few steps at the thought of being a few paces away from peace and solitude. But, the view that met my eyes as I swung around the final corner had me stopping dead in my tracks. The corridor that led to our rooms was full of people.

  ‘Thank fuck, dude. You’re here.’ Cade uncrossed his arms and propelled himself off the wall behind him and started towards me.

  Looking around his large figure I could see my mum and step-dad. Just seeing him in the place I was once again happy to call home, knocked me off fucking kilter. What the actual fuck? Then it dawned on me.

  Of course, they’d stayed in the hotel last night, after the opening day.

  ‘What’s happening?’ I asked Cade as he strode on towards me, but as soon as the words left my mouth the loud sound of a drum kit being worked up into a fucking frenzy hit my ears.

  ‘Flint?’ I questioned him as he stopped in front of me.

  ‘Yeah… I’ve never seen him like this Raff. He came back before lunch, gave Brie her cookies, burst into tears and locked himself in his room.’

  From the noise he was making, I could picture him behind his kit, using every part of his body to hit every single drum he had. The noise was loud, aggressive and repetitive. It wasn’t a defined beat he was keeping to, not one that any musician would recognise as a song. But as his dad, I recognised exactly what he was playing. The crescendo of noise showed me his anger, pain and most of all his fear. It reminded me that my son, who was now only a few inches under six foot and who so wanted to be treated like an adult, was still a child and he was struggling.

  ‘Why?’ I had a feeling that I knew exactly why, but the stupid sodding question came out anyway.

  Cade shrugged his shoulders at me. ‘Luke and I have both tried to get him to open the door. He doesn’t reply, just goes from playing his kit until he’s probably near exhausted and then to sobbing.’

  Lauren’s parting words re-entered my head. “You seem to have a habit of discarding people.” I shook my head, trying to dislodge the sentence as it ran around on repeat.

  ‘Why didn’t you call me?’ The question I’d asked came out louder and angrier than I meant it to. I watched Cade’s nostrils flare, his eyes narrow and one eyebrow lift in question at me.

  Luke having heard my accusing question walked up behind Cade, twisting his phone between his fingertips and asked. ‘Whoah, take a fucking step back, Raff, and let us ask you a question. Where’s your phone?’

  Instinctively, I slapped at the back pockets of my jeans with both hands and found them empty. ‘I must have left it in the car.’

  ‘Exactly, we did phone you,’ Cade replied.

  Taking a deep breath, I held both my empty palms up to them and shook my head. ‘Sorry.’ Suddenly a cacophony of noise hit my eardrums and I knew Flint had started up again. ‘I need to get in there.’

  ‘Maintenance are on their way up.’

  ‘Thanks.’ I looked at them both and moved forward, walking in between the two of them as they moved aside. I knew my mum and step-dad were further down the corridor and knowing what a shit day I’d already had, I refused to look at him and focussed my eyes on my mum.

  ‘Oh, Rafferty. Flint won’t talk to us either.’ My concerned mum was stood to one side of his door. ‘I’m sorry, we’ve tried.’

  I placed my hand on her shoulder and squeezed it as I smiled my thanks to her.

  ‘Trouble at the mill, Rafferty?’ I heard his voice behind me, but I couldn’t turn around. I knew if I did, that with all fucking certainty, he would be the second arsehole I put on his backside today. It wasn’t always what he said, but the way he said it and in that tone of voice that was always reserved for me, or the people he deemed beneath him. He spoke to me in the same tone that he had always used with the staff at home, when they hadn’t followed his orders and were in the wrong. Every nerve in my body was on edge and the hairs on my neck stood to attention.

  Eight years had gone by after I left England for the U.S., before I finally listened to my mum and Winter. Unable to stand being caught between the two of us, Winter had begged me, for our mum’s sake, to try to move past what had gone down between me and him. I’d promised her nothing, I couldn’t forgive him. I hated the man and everything he stood for, but for the sake of the women in my family I agreed to at least stomach being in the same room as him. Being in the U.S. had made what I’d agreed to easier, I made sure I was only ever in the same room as him once a year or less if I could manage it, and that room was always full of other people.

  He’d had his once this year, and that was fucking yesterday.

  It was bad enough that he was taking so much satisfaction from the situation we were all witnessing, and was enjoying rubbing my goddamn nose in it. But, taking pleasure in the fact that my boy was locked in his room, with his heart breaking, was too fucking much. My body acted on instinct and even feeling my mum grab at both of my forearms didn’t stop me. Every muscle in my body was tense and straining to let loose and I shook
off her hold and turned around quickly to face him.

  At first, he saw fit to smirk at my reaction, the reaction he had incited. That single action immediately transported me back in time to his mahogany panelled office with its smell of cherry and vanilla. I lifted my head, stood taller and stared at him a little harder, looking deliberately down my fucking nose at the bastard. For the first time, it dawned on me that I was seeing the older, weaker man he’d become. His arrogance melted away when he recognised what I saw. His eyes flicked down to where my hands had clenched tightly into fists and then looked back up to my face. As his throat moved, I watched him swallow a gulp and knew he wasn’t worth my anger and without a fucking doubt he didn’t warrant my time.

  ‘Please, Rafferty,’ my mum pleaded from behind me.

  ‘You can leave.’ I spoke quietly, but so vehemently that I saw my own spittle connect with his perfectly waxed moustache. Removing my eyes away from the pathetic excuse for a man stood in front of me, I turned back to Flint’s door and stepped up close to it.

  I knocked once with the hand that still held Lauren’s necklace and then leant my forehead onto his door. ‘I’m here Flint and I’m coming in.’

  ‘Mr. Morello, Gary from maintenance is here can I send him in?’ I heard the voice of Maria one of our brand new receptionists, as she arrived at the entrance to our private wing and spoke to Cade.

  I rolled my forehead around on the door, as I listened to my boy sobbing again and with tears in my eyes I followed her voice and looked down the corridor.

  ‘Yes, thanks,’ I called over to her before Cade had a chance to answer and offered her a smile of gratitude. ‘This door please,’ I spoke to the guy who had appeared like magic behind her and pushed on the door handle, making it flick back into place, showing him why I needed his help.

  I watched him work, effectively blocking everyone else out. Slowly, as they began to one by one disappear, my anger followed them.

  I waited until everyone had vacated the corridor, before I pushed open Flint’s bedroom door. After he’d heard me speaking to him through the door the drumming had started up again.