These Setting Suns

by Leslie Williams

  *****

  “How could I forget, you looked so pretty that day in your summer dress,” he said, smiling down at me. I blushed and looked away from his face. “By the way, where’s Mason? I didn’t see him tonight,” he continued.

  “Oh, he’s in the shed. My parents didn’t want him in the house tonight,” I told him. The air all of a sudden got colder and I started to shiver a little bit. Ryan noticed and took the blanket off of him and tried to wrap it around me. I pushed his hand away lightly. “No Ryan, you’re cold. I have a jacket so I’ll be fine. You need it more than I do.”

  He looked into my eyes and then opened the blanket fully. “Marie, you’re shivering which means you’re cold. It’s a big blanket so it will keep us both warm, okay?” He wrapped half of the blanket around me and the other half around himself. He held me close to him and then started rubbing my arm.

  We were quiet for a while and he was still rubbing me. The night was beautiful and it felt better since I got the chance to share it with my friend. He held me close to his chest and he took my hand into his and started playing with my fingers. My heartbeat sped up and I looked up at his face. He was staring at my hand, the one he was playing with, and his face looked like he was nervous for something. Looking at his face made me blush. Then he built up courage and looked into my eyes. We stared at each other for a minute and then I looked away. I couldn’t take that feeling any more. I always felt weird when Ryan would look at me or touch me, but I never had the courage to tell him. I always thought that he wouldn’t like me anymore than his friend, and then my stomach filled with butterflies when he held my hand in his. I felt sweet chills through my body when he touched my face to look at him. As much as my mind urged me to, I didn’t resist. I looked into his penetrating stare and my cheeks grew red hot. He held my face with his hand and traced my cheek with his thumb, and I felt my face get riper. What was he doing, was all I could think to myself, but then he spoke.

  “Marie,” he whispered while still holding my face in his hand. He paused after saying my name and then his face grew nervous again. He looked away from me and dropped his hand from my cheek and just held my sweaty palm.

  He didn’t speak again, which was killing me. If he should know one thing about me, it’s that I’m not so partial to suspense. I never liked surprise parties, but put up with it for my folks, so I decided to urge him on. “Yes Ryan, did you have something to say?”

  “Um…” he paused again still looking down at my hand. It surprised me cause ever since I knew Ryan, he was never one to stammer on his words. He always said what was on his mind, but to see him so nervous just made me nervous. “We’ve known each other since we were kids and…” he paused again.

  “Yes, we have. What about it?” I pried.

  He hesitated for a moment and then looked away with a sigh. “Never mind, it’s nothing.” He let go of my hands and just stared at the river.

  I wasn’t sure, since his face was away from me, but he looked a little frustrated, as if when he looked at me, he was trying to find something, and what he found was unsatisfying. I couldn’t tell you what he was looking for, but I was unsatisfied with his reactions.

  After a minute, he pulled back his half of the blanket and stood up. I looked up at him very confused. “Come on, your parents would worry about you. I should get you home.” He held his hand out for me to take and I just looked at him.

  “What were you going to tell me, Ryan?” I asked him. He let his hand down and looked to the trees. His attitude puzzled me. One minute he was cheery, then extremely sweet, and then detached.

  “Nothing. We should leave.” He started walking away. I felt annoyed that he wasn’t telling me anything. After all, he was my best friend and we promised to tell each other everything, no matter what it was. He was breaking that promise by walking away and not telling me what I wanted to hear.

  I stood up and yelled his way. “What do you mean nothing? You wanted to tell me something, so tell me.” He was ignoring me and he continued to walk away. “Ryan, I’m talking to you. Get back here!” I yelled at him and found myself walking to him. I figured he slowed his pace because he was way ahead of me, and there was no way I would have been able to catch up with him the way I did. I grabbed his shoulder and tried to turn him so he would face me, but it didn’t work so successfully, so I had to walk in front of him and face him. “Ryan, what did you want to tell me?”

  “Why does it matter?” he yelled back at me. I froze at his voice. He never yelled at me before and I couldn’t believe that he was doing it now, on my birthday. First he annoyed me and now he was yelling. “You wouldn’t feel the same way I feel so, why does it matter? I’ll just be wasting my breath.” He stood there looking at me while I was still frozen, but this time I was frozen at his words. You wouldn’t feel the same way as I feel is what he just told me. I was a big girl so I should have caught on that he liked me, but I had to make sure.

  “What are you saying, Ryan? That you like me and I wouldn’t like you back?”

  “No. I don’t know.” He turned and looked away.

  “Then what are you saying Ryan, because if you think that I don’t like you, then you’re wrong. Like you said before, we’ve known each other since we were young. My feelings have grown for you just like yours did.” I was angry that he never saw my obvious signs of feelings for him. I’ve liked him for years. I actually thought that I loved him and I didn’t understand how he couldn’t see that. But then again, I didn’t see that he liked me too, so I guess we were a couple of peas in a pod. I still was staring at him, waiting for him to say something to me. He turned slightly, not wanting me to see the blush on his cheeks, but I didn’t miss a thing. Seeing his face made me feel soft. I shouldn’t have yelled at him the way I did, but he yelled at me too. Still, such embarrassment burned in his eyes and I felt bad. I caressed his hands with mine and waited until he looked into my eyes. “What are you saying, Ryan? Please tell me,” I whispered to him.

  He closed his eyes and finally talked to me. “Marie,” he took my hands and held them to his chest. “Do you feel that? Do you feel how fast my heart is beating? It only beats that fast when I’m with you,” he said, while gazing into my eyes. “Marie, I’ve liked you ever since we were eight years old, and that feeling grew and grew.”

  “It did?” I said, lost in his eyes.

  “Yes, it did,” he said with a chuckle. But then his face got serious. “But I don’t like you anymore.”

  I was dumb founded when he said that. To tell someone that they’re the reason your heart beats fast and then to tell them that you don’t like them anymore really hurt. My face fell and I looked down. I wanted to take my hands away from him, but he wouldn’t let me. He took both of my hands in one of his, and lifted my chin with his to made me look at him. He was smiling as if I just told him a joke, and it annoyed me that he was finding this matter amusing. “What’s so funny, Ryan? Why are you smiling? I don’t think that you telling me that you don’t like me is very funny. It’s hurtful and yet, you’re having fun.”

  Ryan just looked at me with his amused face, and that made me mad. Before I could take my hands away and stomp away, he pulled me into his chest and held me there. “You are so quick to jump to conclusions, Marie.”

  “What are you talking about Ryan, and you’d better tell me everything now or I’m leaving,” I said harshly. I pulled back to look at his face, and when I did, he shockingly kissed me on my lips. It was so passionate and it melted away any hurt and pain that I was feeling before.

  I was getting into the kiss when he pulled back and hugged me close. He put his lips to my ear and whispered. “I don’t like you, Marie because I’m in love with you. I loved you for so long that I didn’t think that you felt the same.”

  “Of course I feel the same.” I whispered back. “I’ve loved you for a very long time too.” After telling him this, he bent down and kissed me again. It was filled with love and he took my breath away. He pul
led away from my lips and kissed my cheek. Then he took the blanket I held and wrapped it around me and guided me back to the spot where we sat. “I thought you wanted to take me home?” I asked him when we sat down and he held me to keep me warm.

  “Well, I just figured that if I take you home now, then I won’t have anytime to spend with you.” He kissed my forehead and I put my head under his and lied on his chest.

  “But what if my parents come looking for me?” I asked him, not really concerned if my parents did or didn’t come. All that mattered was being with him.

  He made me lean back until my back touched the picnic blanket that was on the ground, and then he kissed me from my ear, down to my cheek and then to my lips. He lifted his head and looked at me. “No one’s gonna find us here.” Then he smiled with such confidence. I smiled too and then we kissed.

  I was so happy because for years I have wanted to be with Ryan. If it weren’t for our lack of noticing each other’s feelings and our tempers, we would have been together sooner. But it didn’t matter now because I finally had him. It was the best birthday present a girl could ever have. That night, Ryan and I made love. It was his first time as well as mine. It was very romantic to be all alone underneath the moon and the stars.