It's A Wonderful Midlife Crisis : A Paranormal Women's Fiction Novel: Good To The Last Death Book One

by Robyn Peterman

  “Unless one was to cheat,” Gideon reminded me, sounding delighted about the prospect.

  “Correct,” I said with an eye roll. “And if one was to get caught cheating, they’d have to strip naked and run around the yard.”

  Gideon threw his head back and laughed. I was stupidly proud of myself. “Was that the inappropriate thought you had a minute ago that led to me getting a birthday?”

  “It most certainly was,” I informed him. “And as much as I should not admit it, I really hope you cheat.”

  “Would it be inappropriate if I were to agree?” Steve asked.

  “Pretty much,” I said with a laugh.

  “Okay. Then I’ll just think it,” Steve said with a thumbs up.

  It was unconventional, abnormal and off the charts weird to have this conversation with my dead husband about the man I was seeing, but it also felt comfortable and outlandishly okay. Again, my normal was nuts.

  “Trivial Pursuit might not be the best choice either,” I said, realizing that it could take us all day and into the night to play one full game.

  “Charades?” Steve suggested. “Not really a board game, but still fun.”

  “Major potential for losing body parts,” I pointed out, never thinking I would utter those exact words in a single sentence.

  “How much superglue do you have left?” Steve asked as Gideon listened to the exchange with amused interest.

  “Not enough if everyone’s heads fall off,” I said. “Arms and hands—possibly. Heads? No way.”

  “Poker?” Gideon proposed. “I’m excellent at cheating at poker.”

  “Umm… no. My dead squatters can’t hold cards,” I told him, racking my brain for something that would work.

  “Twister is definitely out,” Steve said with a wide grin.

  “Definitely,” I agreed with a laugh. “Maybe we could figure out a game that all of us could play—all thirteen of us.”

  “You have thirteen people here and I wasn’t invited?” Heather called out as she came into the house and stopped dead in her tracks.

  To her credit, it had to look strange. Gideon and I were seated at a table with six chairs surrounding it. Piles of Trivial Pursuit cards were still stacked at six spots on the table. I now regretted putting out a glass of lemonade for each ghost. I was well aware they couldn’t drink it, but I wanted everyone to feel included. Shit.

  “Hey Heather,” I said, standing quickly and crossing the room.

  “I’ve missed you, Heather,” Steve muttered sadly.

  “I’ve missed you too,” Heather said, giving me a quick hug.

  “What?” I asked, alarmed.

  “What do you mean what?” she replied.

  “What did you just say?”

  “I said I missed you,” she said, looking at me strangely.

  “You said you missed me?” I choked out.

  “I did. Common Southern manners dictate telling someone you miss them when they tell you that they missed you,” she said, glancing over at Gideon with extreme curiosity and then back at me.

  Was it possible that Heather couldn’t see the ghosts, but she could hear them? Was it possible that I had said I missed her? I would swear on my life that Steve had said it. Or was it completely possible that I wasn’t as sane as I’d hoped?

  “Good to see you, Heather,” Gideon said, standing up and joining me.

  “Interesting to see you,” she replied, trying to gauge what was happening here.

  I was still too stunned to speak. Steve floated over and hovered at my side. He was smiling at Heather. It looked macabre, but I could feel him vibrating with excitement at seeing his old friend.

  “Cut the act,” Gideon said flatly.

  “Screw off,” Heather replied rudely. “What kind of game are you playing?”

  “No game,” Gideon said, leveling Heather with a gaze that reminded me how powerful and intimidating he could be.

  However, Heather wasn’t intimidated in the least.

  “Daisy, the girls are right behind me,” Heather said, looking straight at Steve and putting her hand on her heart. “You might want to pretend that you set this up for all of us to tell us whatever you want to tell us about Gideon being here.”

  “You can see them?” I squeaked out, feeling faint. If Heather could see them, she was someone entirely different than who I thought she was.

  “She can see them,” Gideon confirmed.

  Heather nodded curtly and walked right over to John. As she passed Steve, she gently touched his face. “John, I’m going to destroy your wife. I promise you. She will rot in a jail cell for the rest of her miserable life and no one will think you committed suicide.”

  “How?” I gasped out.

  Heather turned to me and smiled. “I received a video of the murder… John’s housekeeper found it in a chair in his home and brought it to me.”

  I had no clue how she’d worked that out, but Heather was far more powerful than I’d thought. She was brilliant.

  “His housekeeper?” I choked out.

  “We happen to share the same housekeeper,” Heather replied. “She’s a very loyal woman.”

  “Yausssss,” John said with a smile. “Thauuuunk yooooah.”

  “You’re most welcome,” she said. “Daisy, did you change the will?”

  “I did,” I said, still feeling like I might pass out. What the hell was happening? I didn’t know why it was so hard to accept that Heather wasn’t who I thought she was when I’d accepted that my dead husband had come back and that I was falling for the Grim Reaper.

  “I’m going to need it. Now that I’m leaving the firm, I need to get the file back there before they realize it’s missing.”

  Nodding because if I spoke I might scream, I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the file. I handed it to Heather who took it and put it in her bag.

  Oh. My. God. Heather was the Angel of Mercy.

  This was the best news ever. It now made sense why she and Gideon were at odds and why they seemed so familiar with each other. It would be a little awkward at first, since Gideon and I were seeing each other, but I knew in my heart that I’d be able to convince Heather he was a good person.

  My relief was palpable.

  “Why is everyone coming over here?” I asked, holding on to the back of one of the chairs. Even though I was calmer, my knees were still a little wobbly.

  “Because you missed Face Mask Friday at Jennifer’s last night and didn’t answer your phone when we tried to call,” she said, grabbing the Ouija board and shoving it under the couch. “Everyone is worried.”

  “Shit, I’m sorry,” I muttered, scanning the room and looking for anything else that could be perceived as odd. It was clear. “No one else can see my squatters?”

  “Your what?” Heather asked with her brows raised high.

  “The ghosts,” I clarified with an embarrassed laugh. “It’s my nickname for them since they live with me.

  “Rent free,” Steve added, following Heather around like a puppy.

  “Why are you here, Steve?” Heather asked kindly, carefully putting her arms around him and giving him a hug. “Have you been here since you died?”

  “Long story,” I said. “And no, he’s only been here for a few days.”

  Heather was perplexed but didn’t ask any more questions.

  Steve touched Heather’s face and smiled sadly. “To save time and to get you up to speed, I’m gay. I ruined Daisy’s life by hiding who I was. I came back to make it right. Daisy deserves a person who can love her like I was incapable of. We found him.”

  “Gideon?” Heather asked, completely shocked.

  Gideon sighed and stared at the ceiling. “Why is that so hard to believe?” he ground out between clenched teeth.

  “I don’t have time to list off all the reasons,” Heather snapped and then turned her attention back to Steve. “Steve, I’m kind of pissed at you right now—and that’s a polite term for what I’m feeling. However, if you are truly h
ere to make it right, then I’m glad to see you.”

  “I am,” Steve promised. “And you’re wrong about Gideon. I can see things that you can’t.”

  Heather glanced over at Gideon distrustfully, and then at me. She sighed dramatically and then shrugged. “Okay. I’ll reserve judgment for the time being. However, Gideon, if you hurt her, I’ll destroy you far worse than I will John’s murderous bitch of a wife. Am I clear?”

  “You are,” Gideon said tersely. “You have nothing to worry about.”

  “We’ll see,” Heather replied coolly.

  The irony that Heather might be as old as Gideon didn’t escape me, but I was forty. In human years I was a big enough gal to make my own choices. Before I could come to Gideon’s defense and point out that I was old enough to make my own decisions, the entire family room filled with golden light.

  “What the hell?” Heather muttered.

  “Not Hell. Definitely not Hell,” Steve whispered as he stared in awe.

  “It’s John. It’s okay,” I assured everyone as I calmly crossed the room and put all of my focus on him. “John has his closure. He can leave now.”

  John smiled at me and nodded his head.

  “It’s time for you to go, my friend,” I whispered, touching his hand and smiling back at him.

  John was no longer a decaying corpse of a man with his head awkwardly attached and his neck partially severed. The ethereal and somewhat blinding golden glow surrounded my friend, and his body was restored to what it had been before he’d been murdered. He was lovely.

  The room grew warm and the silky golden mist danced around John, making him look like an angel. His smile was serene and he took my hand in his.

  “Thank you, Daisy,” he said in the human voice I recognized from being inside his mind. “I wish you would take my money, but I do understand.”

  Karen ran to her former human and wagged her tail a mile a minute as she licked John all over. John’s delighted laugh rang out and echoed through the room.

  “Take good care of my girl,” he said with tears in his eyes as he pet his dog for the very last time. “And keep your trash well secured.”

  “Will do,” I said, swiping at a tear that rolled down my cheek.

  “Heather, thank you.”

  Heather nodded her head in respect.

  “And Gideon?” John added in a kind tone.

  “Yes?” Gideon replied.

  “You are worthy, and so is Daisy. Remember that.”

  Gideon nodded the same way Heather had. It was the longest conversation I’d had to date with one of the dead who was moving into the light, but it wasn’t surprising. John’s circumstances were sad and horrible.

  “Be careful, Daisy. Everything is not always as it seems,” he said.

  His voice grew faint with the advice… or warning. I sure as hell hoped he wasn’t referring to Gideon. But he’d just told Gideon he was worthy. It had to be something else.

  Was it Heather? My gut said no. My gut was working quite well lately so I was going to go with it.

  “Safe travels, John,” I whispered as he faded away and took the golden light with him.

  You could hear a pin drop, the room was so silent. It was clear to me that neither Gideon nor Heather had ever seen someone go into the light. Of course Gideon hadn’t. He sent souls in question into the darkness. I reminded myself that a person basically determined their own fate—not Gideon. He was simply tasked with making sure that it went according to plan. Heather was his counterpart. Although, it surprised me that Heather hadn’t seen souls go into the light since she was the Angel of Mercy. Maybe just Death Counselors saw it. Whatever. I could only imagine the fights Gideon and Heather had had over the centuries.

  “Holy shit,” Jennifer shouted as she, June and Missy entered the house. “If I knew there was a party, I would have baked a cake.

  The timing was perfect. A few minutes earlier would have been terrible. There was no way I would have abandoned John as he left this world and that would have been seriously hard to explain.

  “They can’t see them?” I whispered to Heather as I plastered a smile on my face.

  “No,” she said just as quietly.

  Sucking in a huge breath, I went to greet my friends. “Guys, you remember Gideon,” I said, taking his hand in mine.

  “Who could forget a hottie like that?” Jennifer said.

  “Jennifer,” June chastised with an elbow to her side. “He’s a person, not a piece of meat.”

  “Coulda fooled me,” Jennifer said with a bellow of laughter.

  “You’re behaving like a teenager,” Missy told her as she winked at me. “I think Daisy is trying to tell us something.”

  “I sure as hell hope it’s that she got into his pants,” Jennifer said in her usual filter-less way. “And I think women of a certain age should be called queen-agers.”

  I kind of wanted to die. Jennifer was a botoxicated loose cannon. Steve thought the entire exchange was hilarious. Thankfully, my new guests didn’t notice.

  “Oh my God,” June said, blushing in embarrassment at Jennifer’s behavior. “It’s lovely to see you,” she said politely to Gideon. “Jennifer must still be hungover from last night. I apologize for her behavior.”

  “No worries,” Gideon said with a smile on his face that charmed the pants off of my newly arrived friends. “I’m delighted to meet you all again outside of the office—much nicer atmosphere.”

  “No kidding,” Jennifer agreed. “Thank God we’re all done with that shitshow.”

  “Not following,” Gideon said, confused as he glanced down at me.

  “Heather is starting her own firm. We’re all going with her,” I told him.

  Gideon took the news in and turned to Heather. “You want a partner?”

  Heather sighed and rolled her eyes. “Sure,” she said. “I should keep my enemies close and all that jazz.”

  “Work just got a whole lot more appealing,” Jennifer said with a cackle as she walked over to the game table and sat right on top of a ghost.

  I almost laughed as the specter grunted and flew away, but I sucked it up. Plus, Jennifer was correct. Work did just get a whole lot more appealing.

  “We’re playing Trivial Pursuit?” Jennifer questioned.

  “Yes. Yes, we are,” I replied, taking a seat at the table.

  “I like to cheat,” she announced.

  “Then sit by Gideon,” I said with a laugh. “He cheats too.”

  “Damn skippy,” Jennifer shouted as she patted the chair next to her. “Bring your fine ass over here, Gideon. I will cheat you right under the table.”

  Gideon laughed and shook his head. I was fairly sure he’d never played board games with a bunch of nutty women in his life. His life was about to change for the better.

  And so was mine. I could feel it in my gut.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “It’s nice to see that you’re not good at everything,” I said with a grin.

  “I find that insulting,” Gideon said, trying to wipe the paint off of his face, only to smear it. “I also find it correct. This is hard.”

  I laughed. The Grim Reaper was hot and adorable.

  Jennifer, June and I had given notice at the law firm and were told we were not needed to stay on the two weeks. The day we went to retrieve our personal items from the office, Clarissa had tried to have us escorted from the building by security. It was mortifying. June was so upset she’d cried and Jennifer was so furious, she let Clarissa know exactly what she thought of her. It would have been more powerful if Jennifer’s face was capable of expression, but it was still impressive. I was relieved that Heather wasn’t with us. It could have gotten ugly.

  In the end, Clarence Smith had saved the day. He was appalled by his daughter’s behavior and made sure that we could get our belongings without being treated like common criminals. He’d wished us all the best and let us know if it didn’t work out, he would welcome us back. Clarence Smith was the pola
r opposite of his vile daughter. It was strange to think they were truly related.

  Thankfully, I’d had no alone time with Clarissa. However, she glared at me the entire time I was there. Gideon and I had never discussed her. There was no need. She was simply a nasty piece of work who would now reside in my past… not my future.

  “Could you have done this with magic?” I asked Gideon, referring to the painting of the office.

  “Yep,” he replied. “But I don’t want to. This is fun.”

  The past two weeks had flown. My days were filled with helping Heather get the new office space ready and my evenings were filled with Gideon. We still hadn’t slept together, but I felt closer to him than if we had.

  “Fun for you,” I muttered, glancing up at all the paint he’d gotten on the ceiling. I’d taped the room and he’d somehow painted out of every line that I’d meticulously created. “How about you stick to the middle of the walls and let me do the edges?”

  “Sounds like a far better plan that what we’ve got going right now,” he agreed with a grin that made me smile. “How’d you learn to paint so well?”

  “Practice,” I told him as I began to re-tape the areas he’d destroyed. “We didn’t have a lot of money growing up and Gram loved to redecorate. Wall painting became my specialty. I painted every room in my farmhouse.”

  “You didn’t,” he said, impressed.

  “I did,” I shot back, grinning. “Steve chose the colors and the décor and I did the dirty work. I can even do some light plumbing.”

  “I have no clue why this is turning me on, but it is,” Gideon said, chuckling.

  “Same way I feel when I watch you cook,” I told him, feeling my face heat up a little. “A man who knows his way around a kitchen is some serious hot.”

  “And a paint-covered beautiful woman in overalls is my fantasy,” he replied, giving me a look that made me tingle all over.

  I’d been ready to throw the no-sex rule out of the window for a week now. There was no pressure from Gideon at all. It was all me. I wanted him so badly I was having trouble sleeping at night. However, my enormous fear of failure held me back.