If only Harrison wasn’t there, right in the group nearby, I’d go over to congratulate the kid.
I ducked my head and got out of there before Harrison could see me, searching for the other referee. I found him and relief made my shoulders relax because I didn’t recognize him, hadn’t made a fool of myself in front of him.
Someone else stood beside him, a well-dressed woman with a camera around her neck. Not a small digital camera, the kind that could be bought at Wal-Mart, but an expensive piece of equipment that looked like it could be used in place of a cinder block to drag a mob victim to the bottom of the ocean.
“What’s going on?” I asked, coming up to them both.
The woman smiled and stuck out her hand. “I’m Cindy! I’m here to take pictures!”
“Pictures of what?”
“Of the game and the ceremony afterwards.”
Ceremony?
The other referee spoke up. “Mr. Carr is probably going to give an actual check to Mrs. Morgan, instead of the fake one at the gala.”
Great, so he was at the gala. I guess I wasn’t exactly in the best state to be recognizing people.
“She’s over there in the bleachers.”
I didn’t look over where he pointed. I didn’t want to risk catching Harrison’s eye.
Cindy said, “I really hope I get the chance to speak with him. I’m just here for the photos but if the opportunity comes up… But, he hates talking to the press. You’re a referee, too?”
I looked down at my shirt and then up at her. “No, I’m here for the costume party.”
She laughed. “Well, you’re dressed appropriately, so you might be in some of the pictures, too.”
Oh, good. I can’t wait to be immortalized forever in some goofy pose.
9
Harrison
I despised talking to the press. They clamored for details that weren’t theirs to know, twisted my words until they could get me to say what they wanted. I never did anything they could cast negativity on. No, this was almost worst: they made me out to be the main focus of every piece, every interview, every article, when the attention should have been on what was done and who would benefit.
However, this time, things were a little different.
I arranged this.
I sent in my own little anonymous tip about what I would be doing and where, and that was all it had taken for the press to swarm to the gym like sharks to chummed waters. I had to stay here for the whole game now because every moment was going to be documented. I couldn’t slip away.
I couldn’t get away from Kade, who was one of the referees. I orchestrated that, too. I had asked the rec center to call him in for this.
I wanted this chance. I needed it. I needed to talk to him, to explain why things had turned out like they had. At the same time, I dreaded it and would have backed out; therefore, giving myself this inescapable obligation.
The game started shortly after warm-ups ended. To say it was one of the hardest games I’d ever played in would be an understatement. My focus was intensely divided between where the ball was, where Kade was, and the position of the reporter, her presence signaled by blinding flashes of light. Being watched had never bothered me as much as it did during that game, knowing every movement was being recorded.
Half-time came and I hid in the men’s locker room, pretending it was to avoid the reporter while knowing, disappointed in myself, that my real purpose was to prevent a conversation with Kade.
I’d screwed up too badly. I couldn’t. I couldn’t. This was such a terrible idea. What was I thinking?
The second half of the game dragged on and on, feeling far longer than the first. My nerves were rattled, like they’d been put in a margarita shaker. There was simply too much happening and I no longer had the poise to keep up with all of it. The kids, the lights, the pictures, Kade… too much.
My teeth clenched so hard I thought I might break my own jaw. Then, in the next moment, I thought it had really happened, a deep, dull pain rocketing across my face. My head snapped around, lights flashing in front of my eyes.
“Shit! Mr. Carr! Are you okay?”
Blinking rapidly, I glanced in the direction of the voice. Wavering colors solidified into the shape of a person. One of my teammates. He looked terrified. And now others were surrounding me, their chairs forming a circle.
It was a basketball. Just a basketball. People playing sports get whacked in the head by balls all the time.
Tears stung my eyes. Logic… sucked. Everything was terrible. I shouldn’t have signed up for the app. I shouldn’t have revealed my identity at the gala. Everyone was treating me differently, even the kids. Calling me Mr. Carr instead of Harrison, like we were teacher and student now instead of friends. Barriers had shifted on me and I hated the result.
Hated everything.
Misery swamped through me, a loathsome flood of dark waters. My stomach cramped from the pain, my throat raw from constricting. Tears burned my sinuses, scalded my eyes. I was losing it.
Even losing it, even on the verge of tears, I forced myself to laugh. I heard myself say, “I’m fine! My skull’s too thick!” Laughter in response, relieved, happy. The game started up again and I joined in, holding tight to my façade while feeling like death on the inside.
Eventually, the game ended. I didn’t even know who had won. Unimportant.
I went on autopilot and positioned myself in the middle of the gym with Mrs. Morgan, giving a speech I’d written that now seemed flat, uninspired. Camera lights flashed. People cheered. I felt all of it as if I was observing from a distance, watching a boring movie about a sad guy.
Mrs. Morgan cried while receiving her check. I thanked everyone for coming, the words bland on my tongue, and then I got out of there.
I went straight to my van, skipping the changing room. Grabbing my keys, I unlocked the door and flipped the ramp down. I started to pull myself in…
…and a hand fell onto my shoulder, stopping me.
Everything inside me went as still as if I’d crashed into a brick wall. The grab was polite, knowing to hold onto me and not my chair. Whoever was touching me was sensitive and kind. It could only be...
“Harrison. Please wait.”
Kade’s voice, gentle and pleading.
I lowered my head. “Let go.”
“I’m only going to let go if you agree to talk to me. And if you try to run away, I know I can throw myself in the back of your van faster than you can get that ramp up.”
“Why would you want to talk to me after what I said? I was foolish and childish. And you don’t even know why.”
“Yes, I do.”
It felt like my heart stopped beating. I turned my head, looking over my shoulder. I couldn’t see Kade’s face, only his fingers clamped on my shoulder and his muscular arm, but his voice left me no doubt he was telling the truth.
“Sterling and I talked about it.”
Sterling, who was so kind, who deserved a better alpha than me. “Can you backup a little?”
Kade retreated. I moved away from the ramp and turned in his direction, although I didn’t have nearly enough strength to lift up my head while talking to him. “I was presumptuous and I made a mistake.”
“I should have been more clear that I had no idea what you were talking about. And I shouldn’t have confronted you in front of everyone. It was rude and childish of me. I’m sorry, Harrison.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “All the blame is mine.”
“Well, that’s not fair. You need to share a little bit.”
I shook my head. “I don’t share this sort of thing. It isn’t worth it. I’m strong enough to take all of it.”
Kade touched my cheek, the gentlest caress of his fingers gliding on my skin, leaving a trail of warmth. The touch was so tender, so soft, so much more than anything I could have ever hoped for, while not being nearly enough.
As if he sensed my desire for
more, Kade slid his hand over my cheek, holding my face. His other hand rose and did the same. The scent clinging to his skin was so sweet it made me dizzy. I closed my eyes.
He tilted my head up. I felt warmth, warmth all around. His body shifted and I felt him come nearer, his presence almost a physical force in the air.
“You don’t have to be so strong all the time,” Kade whispered. His breath stroked over my lips, and I opened my eyes just in time to see his flutter closed before he kissed me.
His mouth was soft and smooth, the shapes of his lips perfect, full curves. His taste was as sweet as his breath. I couldn’t resist, couldn’t even think of resisting, and kissed him back. My hands lifted of their own accord, gripped his upper arms tight. Warmth flowed into me from where his lips touched mine, spreading throughout my entire body until I was like a candle flame, a flickering and tingling dance of heat.
A shudder passed through me as something in my chest stretched very tight and then snapped. All my tension evaporated into thin air, my shoulders slumping and my arms going limp, my toes uncurling. I hadn’t even realized how tight I was holding myself until it wasn’t happening anymore.
Kade pulled back just enough to be able to speak, his lips brushing mine with every syllable. “I decided I like you for you. No app told me to.”
No app told him to. We had gotten along great even though I was meant to be with someone else.
Could fate have played a part in this? Was it meant to happen all along?
10
Kade
Kissing Harrison left me breathless. Not drowning, afraid, nervous breathless, but the sort of breathless that happens when you see something so amazing the whole world just stops for a moment and you aren’t aware of anything, not even breathing. I hadn’t seen anything with my eyes closed, but I damn sure felt something. A lot of things. More things than I could have ever possibly put into words even if I tried for a whole year.
It had been such a delicate kiss and I had expected him to pull away at any moment. Then, he had leaned into it and pressed his lips more firmly on mine. His strong hands wrapped around my arms, holding me in place as if he’d been afraid I would leave.
As if.
I wanted him. I wanted him badly. His body, his time, his attention. I was so drawn to him and my groin burned for him, an erection pressing at the front of my pants. He could see it, probably feel it, and so I told him, “I decided I like you for you. No app told me to.”
Harrison lifted his head to look up into my eyes. Sparkles of sunlight glimmered on those twin oceans. He reached out and held my hands, clasped them between his. “I like you, too. If you’re willing, I would like to see where this goes.”
“I’m willing,” I breathed.
Harrison smiled and it was the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen, leaving its mark on every inch of his face. His nose crinkled, the laugh lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth becoming much more defined. I smiled too and leaned down and kissed his jawline, the edge of his lips.
Harrison slid his hand into my hair and pulled me closer, wrapping his arm around my waist. He turned his head, caught my lips, took them between his and claimed them fiercer than before.
I closed my eyes and let my body fold down against his until I was almost climbing onto his lap. Somehow, I fit there as if I belonged. Pleasure tingled low between my legs, my erection throbbing for attention.
We parted for breath, Harrison’s fingers still tangled in my hair. He looked down and, with effort, shifted his leg so his thigh brushed over my needy dick. I gasped, my body jumping as my pleasure deepened. “Harrison…”
“I wish I could help you with that,” he said, murmuring to my lips. “I wish I had the time. But I have places to be.”
“Cancel your plans,” I demanded. I grabbed behind me and took his hand from my waist, placing it firmly on my crotch. “Can’t you feel how much I want you?”
He curled his fingers around me and I gasped again, wriggling and bucking my hips. His mouth collided with mine, a fierce, fast kiss. His hot, wet tongue slipped between my lips and out again. “Can’t you feel how much I want you?” he challenged.
Startled, I looked down and realized the hard thing pressing on me wasn’t a part of his wheelchair but his sizable hard-on. My mouth went dry and I swallowed hard, every part of me suddenly craving his body.
“Then let’s do something about it! We can fit in the back of your van, easy.”
Harrison laughed and wrapped his arms around me, hugging my body to his. “I want to do it right. We both deserve that.”
There was no arguing with that. I wasn’t going to let him get away so easily, though. Sticking out my lower lip, I pouted.
He tapped my lower lip, traced it with his thumb. “I’ll give you my number. I’m going to clear a spot in my schedule as soon as possible, and then I’ll call you. It’ll be just the two of us. No obligations. No stress.”
“Just like on the balcony.”
“Exactly. Is that fine with you?”
“Of course!”
“Wonderful!” He beamed. Picking up my hand, he placed it against his scruffy cheek. “It’s a promise.”
I smiled at him.
“However, it’s not a promise I can keep unless you let go of me.”
I pouted again and he laughed. Placing his hands on my thigh, which sent flickers of desire pulsing through me, he pretended to push me off of him. Even pretending, the power of his muscles was almost enough to send me flying from his lap. He could do anything to me, anything at all.
I hoped he would.
I climbed off his lap and leaned down to kiss him one last time. Our lips lingered together as I savored his taste, savored the sensation of the promise he had made.
I backed away and looked around, unsure exactly what to say now and how to say it. I was terrible at goodbyes.
Harrison saved me the trouble. He moved back up to his ramp and glanced at me over his shoulder. “I don’t want you jumping in here after me, now.”
I laughed. “I won’t. I’ll see you soon.”
Harrison nodded and smiled. It seemed like he wasn’t used to saying goodbye, either. A beat of silence passed where neither of us said anything, and then he rolled up the ramp and pulled it up behind him.
I watched as he got behind the wheel and backed out of his spot. I wiggled my fingers at him and saw him smile. He lifted his hand in return, and then backed out and drove away with excruciating slowness, as if his van resisted him with some sort of magnetic pull that led back to me.
I felt that pull so strongly I found myself walking a little way in his direction as he turned the corner. If I knew I would be fast enough, I might even have run after him.
I put my hand to my head and walked back to the rec center. I was so happy to have this chance to be with him, this promise of more. However, I suddenly felt the need to talk this through with someone else. Sticking with anything after a rough patch was new to me. I wanted to share this progress, this new and exciting thing I was doing. If I messed this up, I’d never forgive myself. A sound interrupted me. A buzzing. Familiar and intrusive.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw a text from Sterling, asking how the game had gone.
An idea struck me and I finally understood why they were called “lightbulb moments.” It was as if someone had flipped a switch in my head and the lights came on, illuminating something which had been right in front of me this entire time.
I hit the button to call Sterling. As soon as he picked up, before he could say anything, I blurted out, “I need to talk to you.”
“Whoa, okay. Did something happen?”
“Maybe. But I want to talk to you in person. Are you free now?”
“Yeah, I’m at a bar. Worth a Shot. I’ll stick around here if you want to come.” Sterling sounded puzzled. I didn’t really blame him. We were friends, brought together by similar senses of humor and occupation, but I couldn’t recall ever having had a serious co
nversation where advice was involved before. Still, he was my closest friend and I knew he enjoyed helping people. I had to try.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can find a taxi.”
“Yeah, wherever will you find a taxi in Brooklyn?”
“Smartass,” I said fondly, and hung up.
Finding a taxi was, predictably, not much of a chore, and I was walking into Worth a Shot fifthteen minutes later. It was warm inside the bar, a comfortable heat as compared to the muggy, swampy air outside. There weren’t too many people around, just the usual crowd of unemployed people with nothing better to do but drink, and the lonely. And Sterling, sitting at a table and chatting companionably with a waitress about Nike shoes.
The waitress smiled at me as I sat down. “Oh, your friend is here. Can I get you anything?”
“Um. Margarita. Do you have a blue one?”
“We have a blue-colored one called the Moonlight Margarita. It has…”
I interrupted. “That’s fine. As long as it’s blue.”
Sterling looked at me, puzzled. “What does the color matter?”
I remembered the drink Harrison sent me, how good it had tasted while sitting out on the balcony. “No reason. What have you been up to today so far?”
Sterling talked about who he’d hung out with and where he’d been prior to now. I listened with half an ear, sitting on the edge of my seat. I could hardly hold still, anticipation getting the best of me. Judging from the sideways glances he kept giving me, he could tell I wasn’t really here to chat. I was here to Have a Talk. With capital letters. Important stuff.
Sweet Emotion: East Coast Sugar Daddies: Book 1 Page 8
