Forget Me Not

by Katt Rose

  “Mom, it’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. Please, Emmy. Take me away. I don’t like the feeling that’s overcoming me right now. Today is not the day for him. It’s for Aaron. I’m not ready to face him.”

  I looked around and succumbed. “Okay. Let’s go to the car. We’ll meet you guys at the spot, right?”

  “We’ll be there.”

  Aunt Sam hesitated. She marched up to the Reverend and glowered. “How dare you! I trusted you; I put my family’s trust in you. You will be punished for what you have done.”

  The Reverend lowered his glasses and scoffed. “Oh, Sam. I will not be punished for a thing. I have done nothing wrong. Don’t you see? Your sister is the one who is being punished for raising such a ruthless child. Things are happening as they should. Keep your faith, don’t let them take it from you.”

  Elayna stepped in and whisked Sam away. “He won’t get away with it. Come on, today is a day to pay our respects.”

  Aunt Sam went away without a fight. She let out a heavy sigh. “Are we meeting at Audrey’s then?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay,” she said wearily. “I’ll see you all there.”

  I hopped inside Chase’s truck and looked around urgently. “I forgot the flowers!”

  Elayna scooted in the middle and Chase slid in next to her.”No problem. We can stop on the way to your mom’s to get them.”

  “Okay, thank you.”

  Elayna patted my knee. “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Me either.”

  We stopped at the house and I grabbed the bouquet from the kitchen table. The blaring of a horn sounded. I poked my head outside and Chase hollered from the truck.”Em, get in the truck now!”

  Fear crawled over me at the sound of his tone. I ran to the truck in lightning speed and launched myself in. “What’s wrong?”

  “Your mom’s gone.”

  Chase slammed on the gas pedal and the truck launched forward. “What do you mean she’s gone?”

  “Sam called in a panic. She was preparing food for everyone and she realized your mom wasn’t there. She took the car, Em.”

  My face paled. Aaron’s warning rang in my ears. Never underestimate the love of a mother and what she will do for her children. “Oh God.”

  As Chase sped down the back roads, I heard my voice speak in a tinny sound. “Go to where it happened, Chase. Take us to where this all started.”

  Chase broke his stare from the road to me. His face looked grim as he nodded. “There’s the car!” I cried.

  Chase pulled over behind my aunt’s car. Two women were inside; my mother in the drivers seat and Miranda in the passenger. I hopped out before the truck came to a halt and ran for the driver’s door. I hauled it open. “Mom, get out of the car, now!”

  Audrey shook from head to toe and was in tears. “Oh, Mom!” I opened the drivers door and helped her out.

  I led her to Chase’s truck and he hopped out. “Is she okay?”

  Audrey turned to glance at the tree and let out a heart wallowing wail. “My baby. It’s not fair. Tell me this isn’t real. This can’t be happening all over again. I don’t know how I got here. I just remember feeling this overwhelming urge to be here. I needed to say goodbye.”

  Chase spoke soothingly. “Just breathe, Audrey. We’ll get through this.”

  The sound of tires crunching tore away our attention. “Son of a bitch. What’s he doing here?”

  The Reverend stepped outside of his car and his eyes landed on Miranda. He tapped the door and she rolled down the window. Heated words were exchanged, but they were too low to make out. Until Miranda yelled out “Fuck you!”

  The Reverend made a disgusted noise and tossed his hands in the air. He slid into the front seat and slammed his door closed. Audrey coiled her hands into fists and let out a ravage yell. She ran toward his car and began pounding on his door. “How could you do this to us? How dare you? Step outside and stop being such a damn coward!”

  The Reverend forced his door open and sent Audrey tumbling into the ditch. Chase sprang into action to retrieve her. Miranda stepped outside the passenger door and closed it softly. She sent me a knowing look and I knew what she was about to do.

  “Elayna, get in the truck.”

  Elayna did and I hopped in the drivers seat. I started the truck up and put it in reverse. Elayna watched what was transpiring. “Em, what are you doing?”

  “Giving her room.” I quieted the engine. Chase held onto Audrey as they scurried out of the ditch. He caught my eye as Miranda started the car. He glanced back at me and I looked away. He scooped my mom up and stepped aside. Elayna and I slid out of the truck together and we all stood side by side to watch.

  The Reverend climbed out of his car once more to plead to Miranda. We heard him this time. “Get out of the car now. This is not you. You don’t belong with these people. I gave you the opportunity of a lifetime and you’re throwing it all away!”

  Miranda stepped out of the car and faced her father. “You didn’t give me anything! You took my life away. I’m not following you anymore. This ends now.”

  The Reverend scowled at her. “I should have left you in the car that night.” He looked his daughter up and down and shook his head slowly. “It’s too late for you. You can’t be saved.” With that he disappeared into the drivers seat.

  Miranda stood frozen for a moment before she stepped back into the car. She closed the door softly. The brake lights went on as she shifted the car into drive. The Reverend was in the midst of turning around when the car Miranda controlled ploughed into driver’s side of the Reverend’s car. All went still.

  Miranda reversed and pulled off to the side of the road. She stepped outside, white-faced. We all stood wordless, watching as the smoke plumed from the hood of the car. I couldn’t help but notice the placement of the Reverend’s tattered car was strikingly close to where Aaron’s had stood. We stared at one another without speaking. We all jumped in unison as the loud honks began from the Reverends car. At first, no one moved but as the honks protested, Chase went first. We followed one by one. The driver’s door was bent in to the point there was no way we could pry it open. The window was smashed and the Reverend moaned as blood seeped out his open head wound.

  “What are you waiting for? Get me out of here!”

  Audrey spoke first. “I remember what you told me, Reverend.”

  “What do you mean?” he growled.

  “Did I ever tell you that I kept a journal?”

  “What does that matter?”

  “When I don’t remember the world around me, I have one consistent habit; and that is I keep a journal. I write about all the things I’ll never remember, and I wrote about you and our sessions.”

  My curiosity spiked. “What? You never told me that.”

  “I couldn’t. You see, the Reverend told me over and over that I was the one who killed Aaron. He told me it was me that caused the accident. He told me that I had killed my own son.”

  Miranda spoke behind her. “I over heard one of their talks. That’s when I started to give your mom private ‘bible sessions.’ I couldn’t bear the thought of the guilt he fed her.”

  I stared horrified at the man who bled in the car. Flashbacks of Aaron came rushing in and I had to look away. “I don’t want to see it again. Please, no more.”

  Chase stood beside me quickly. “Em, it’s not Aaron. Don’t go there.”

  Audrey shuddered. “Nights coming. It’s going to be a cold one.”

  “Somebody do something!” The Reverend screamed.

  Audrey leaned close and stared into his eyes. “Is this how my son felt as he asked for your help with his dying breath? And what did you do? You left him to die.”

  The Reverend closed his mouth and narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing, Audrey?”

  “Isn’t it ironic how we’re all here together in this very spot, on this very day? It’s funny how life works out, don’t yo
u think?”

  “You’re walking a thin line, Audrey.”

  “This is a quiet road. Chances are no one will come by anytime soon.”

  “You’re committing a sin if you leave me here!”

  Audrey stood back. “Chances are, I won’t remember.” With that, she walked away and hopped inside Chase’s truck. Elayna was next to follow.

  Chase glanced between Miranda and I. “Is this how it goes? Is everyone going to be able to look themselves in the mirror if we do this?”

  “For the first time in a long time,” Miranda spoke firmly.

  I nodded slowly, unable to look away. “A sin for a sin.”

  Chase ran a hand down his face. “Miranda, you can squeeze in the truck. Emmy, take them all to Sam.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’m going to get rid of the car. I’ll call Craig to help, we’ll meet up with you at your mom’s.”

  “What about me?” The Reverend hollered. “Are you going to just leave me here?”

  Miranda stopped in front of him. “May God be with you.” With that, she walked away and hopped in the truck.

  Chase and I exchanged a glance. I bit my lip and looked over the Reverend once more. “You don’t get to play God. You don’t get to decide who lives, or who dies.”

  My eyes studied the head wound that oozed and swelled. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

  The Reverend looked at me with fear in his eyes. “Eight. Are you going to…to…to…” the Reverend began to panic as he tried to use his lips. His eyes darted to his hands and a strange noise escaped his mouth.

  “I was holding up two fingers. You hit your head quite hard, and I believe any brain damage you have at this point will most likely be permanent.” I leaned close to his face. “You don’t get the easy way out; death. I truly hope you will be trapped in this body for a long time, like a prisoner. You will be offered no forgiveness, and not one of us will mourn whatever happens to you. May God be with you, Reverend.”

  I nodded to Chase as he made the call. He hung up the phone. “We need to get out of here, now.”

  I stepped toward him, went on my tiptoes and gave him a hard kiss. “See you soon.”

  “You bet.”

  We watched Chase drive the broken car away, thankful it still ran. I started the pick up and pulled on to the main road. I let off the gas as we all took one last look at the lone car. Audrey spoke softly. “This never happened, right ladies?”

  “Never,” we all agreed in chorus.

  Audrey nodded. “A day that never happened. A day that I’ll never forget.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

  We never spoke of that day ever again. One week later in the paper, the Reverend’s accident was the top story. By the time he arrived at the hospital, his brain had swelled so significantly he had lasting damage. Speech was rather challenging for him, and he would be dealing with a lifetime of memory complications. Much like the same as my mother, however one day, which no one could predict, her mind would entirely be gone.

  After the Reverends accident, Miranda left town in the middle of the night. I hadn’t heard from her since. Aaron’s memorial got put on pause with the hype from the town about the Reverend. It didn’t feel like the right time to pay our respects. We decided to keep aunt Sam in the dark about what happened with the Reverend; though her heart was broken by the betrayal of a man of faith, we knew her heart was too pure to keep such a secret. That was a burden we all would take to the grave.

  Once the Reverend’s news story hit the paper, my mom called. “Emmy?”

  “Yes?”

  “Did you see it?”

  “It’s hard to miss.”

  “Can you take me to him, please? I want to see him.”

  I knew well enough not to ask any questions. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  True to my word, I pulled up to my mom’s and she met me in the car. “Are you ready for this?”

  Audrey nodded. “I need to see how he’s doing. Just this one time.”

  “Okay.” We pulled up to the hospital and I paid for my parking ticket. We walked side by side and gave each other reassuring glances. We paused outside his door and counted to three. Audrey shoved me in and she followed closely behind. I glared at her and she swatted me.

  The Reverend sat in bed with a bandage wrapped around his head. He stared at his fingers and he appeared to have aged well beyond his years. He looked up as he heard us enter. We both froze as his eyes wrinkled as he stared back at us. Audrey held her head high and stood beside him. “Do you know who we are?”

  The Reverend stared and his eyebrows wriggled. Audrey sat on the edge of his bed. “I am a broken woman. My son was taken from me much too soon, and my daughter was there to witness his life drain away. I have racked my brain over and over as to what we did to deserve this horrible act. And I can’t think of a single thing. Not one thing. We are good people. The only thing that went wrong was a man who decided he got to play God.”

  The Reverend stared with his mouth slightly gaped open. He made a noise but no words came out. Audrey tsked. “I’m not sure if you remember who I am, or who my son was. But know this: I will never visit you ever again. I will never forgive you for what you have done. You have taken something so incredibly precious from me, and there is nothing anyone can say or do to bring him back.” Audrey took a deep breath. “But I also think you have been punished for what you have done. Your body, like my own, is not our safe place. We are fragile now and at the mercy of it.”

  Audrey’s eyes trailed to me. “Both of your children are alive and well, yet they want nothing to do with you. My daughter is still here with me, and though I may not always be the mother she remembers, or wants, she is still here standing by my side. And I know she always will be.”

  Audrey stood and looked down at the Reverend. “For that simple gift, I am blessed beyond means. There is something I would like to leave you with however.” Audrey pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket. She cleared her throat and began. “For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. Romans 14:8.’ I thought it suited you.”

  Audrey stepped toward me. “Is there anything you’d like to say to him?”

  I stared at the tattered man before me. He was now a harmless shell with his lights half burnt out. And still, the monster of wrath and rage that lurked in the shadows of my mind began to take over, for if I closed my eyes, I would forever bear the scar of a life lost, a life I could not save. “There is nothing I have to say to him. Nothing at all.”

  “Okay, then we’re done here. Let’s go home.”

  The winter snow and icy cold had come to pass. Green shoots of grass had begun to poke through the hard soil, and the sweet smell of life was enough to enlighten the senses as trees began to bud. I shifted in my saddle and the leather creaked from my weight as I ducked under a low lying branch. Ace had pep in his step as the spring air made him giddy. We cut through the trail and opened up into a large meadow. I sat easily in the saddle as Ace broke into a smooth canter. The air still held remnants of winter as a slight chill of wind rustled past, sending the wildflowers dancing. The sun was low in the sky as early evening was near, bringing to life a shade of brilliant orange and pink. I pulled Ace to a stop to admire the view. I gave him his head and let him munch on the young spring grass.

  As I leaned over the horn of the saddle, a sense of peace came over me. I studied the landscape and it bore a close resemblance to a past dream about Aaron.

  “Does it hurt where you are?” I asked.

  “No, nothing hurts anymore.”

  “That’s good. Is it dark?”

  Aaron smiled. “No,” he said softly. “It’s always bright where I am, and I can keep an eye on all of you. I watch out for you guys all the time. I love it when you all laugh.”

  Tears began to prick my eyes. “I’m glad you’re never far away. We miss you so much, all o
f the time. We don’t know how to say good-bye.”

  Aaron leaned close and draped his arm over my shoulders. “Aw, sis. You don’t need to dwell on the goodbye, okay? It will never be goodbye. I’m always here; I will always be a part of you. I do have one request though.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Make your life a happy one. Live for me, live for you. Laugh as much as you can, especially with mom. Enjoy her while she’s here. Please know, whatever happens, mom will always love you, love us, even when she can’t show it. Look after her.”

  I sighed and leaned my head on Aaron’s shoulder. “I promise.”

  “You’re going to be okay, Em.” Aaron looked away and pointed in the distance. “Look. He’s finally free.”

  I followed his finger and watched as the black bear stood stalk still in the distance. The wind gently ruffled his gleaming coat. He watched us for a moment and then he turned away. He lowered himself into the grass and began to roll, scratching his back in bliss.

  Aaron smiled. “He did good.”

  I studied the bear. “I don’t follow.”

  Aaron shrugged. “He led you to me. Now you know what happened.” He shoved me playfully. “Go on, it’s time for you to go. I’ll always be here when you need me. I’m happy, Em. I’m at peace. You helped me get there. Now, go.”

  “Aaron, wait.”

  “What?”

  “We didn’t get to say goodbye, not properly. We had it all planned, we had gotten you flowers, and people wrote speeches. We were going to have a proper anniversary for you.”

  Aaron raised an eyebrow. “Why? Why would you want to remember that day? It was awful. Don’t feel so drawn into ‘celebrating’ that day. I want you to remember the good things about me whenever they cross your mind. Don’t save it for a single, crappy day.”

  Aaron sighed at the face I made. “Em, I’m not there anyways. The stone marks where I lay, but I promise you, that’s not the only place you can find me. If you feel the need to visit my stone, by all means, please do. Just know, the ground isn’t the only place you’ll find me.” Aaron grinned. “Besides, you and I both know you would never have attended a memorial service for me. It’s not who you are.”