by Alice Layne
He let out a pathetic whine and he balled up on his side. “Fuck you, Hunter,” he complained.
“Somehow, I don’t think that was an offer,” I teased.
“Why are you a morning person? Couldn’t you just let me sleep in until I’ve got to pick Ashley up?” he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders, “I woke up before your alarm went off and wanted to get a head start on the day.”
Levi let out another pathetic groan and rolled off the bed. A few seconds later, he crawled on his hands and knees to his dresser and retrieved a pair of shorts. He slid them on and hurried over to his closet and grabbed a large t-shirt and pulled it on before glaring at me, “Aren’t you going to get dressed? You were the one that wanted me up. Asshole.”
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and grabbed my small stack of clothes from the nightstand, “You’ve got one hell of a mouth on you’re in a bad mood. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about that.”
He climbed onto the bed and waited for me to finish putting on my shirt before he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Levi kissed my neck and worked his way up to my ear, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. “Maybe you’ll let me sleep in next time, or maybe you’ll do something even nicer and make me some coffee before you decide to wake me up.”
My heartbeat quickened as he continued kissing my neck. Even when he was being a little bit of a grump, he was still too damn adorable to be irritated with. My patience wore thin with most people quickly, but Levi was a little different. Part of that might have been because he was the sexiest guy I’d ever dated, but I’d like to believe that I wasn’t as much of a prick as people made me out to be.
“You’re going to have to show me where the coffee stuff is and tell me how you like it made if you want something like that,” I said. A deep sigh rolled out of me as I thought about the day ahead of me. I skipped practice yesterday to spend time with Levi, but I probably wouldn’t get away with that twice in a row. Coach was already pissed, making things worse wasn’t a good idea. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to come over tonight, babe. I’ve got practice and dinner with my family. I’d offer for you to come to both, but I don’t know if I’d be able to stomach the thought of you checking out the other guys on the team for an hour.”
“I hope you’re not being serious right now, I’m not the kind of guy that would cheat. I can’t believe—”
“Baby, relax, I was trying to make a joke,” I mumbled. “If you’re this rough when you first wake up, I’m seriously going to have to just leave you alone in bed and figure out something to do until you do decide to get your ass up.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well and I’m not looking forward to today if I’m being honest. Do you think people know about us already?” he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and finally pulled my shorts on, “If they don’t, I’m going to make sure people know today. Unless you planned on making me walk to school today.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you. I guess I’ll make breakfast. You know where the console is if you wanted to do that instead of hanging out in the kitchen,” he said.
“We both know how that turned out last time.”
He didn’t argue that point. A little while later, we finished up with breakfast and got ready for class. On the way out the door, Levi called out, “We’ve got to swing by and pick up Ashley for school.”
“That’s not going to be awkward at all,” I said.
He shut and locked the door behind us and headed towards his car as he mumbled, “Guess you won’t be wrong about everyone knowing about us after today.”
“Did I do something to piss you off, Levi?” I asked bluntly.
He opened the door to his car, “Do I really have to talk about it while we’re outside?” I strode over to the car as quickly as I could without running and got in. He got us out on the road and mumbled, “Things got a little weird last night.”
“Which part?” I asked.
“I don’t know, maybe sucking your cock and probably being completely awful at it,” he said in a snappy tone.
“Baby, I don’t know what you want me to say that won’t annoy you right now, but I can say for a fact that I enjoyed what you did last night. I’m not the best at everything I do, but I’m trying to do what I can to show you that I’m trying. Is it even remotely fair that you’re mad at me for something that I thought we both enjoyed?” I asked.
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and mumbled, “I don’t like being bad at the few things I do. I’m great at school. I’m amazing at gaming. I’m a pretty good cook. I keep my house clean. I manage my money pretty well. I do everything within my power to do my best at everything I do. Maybe it’s not fair to be annoyed, but I always thought that I’d know better when it was time to do the kind of thing we did last night.”
“Can’t we just call it for what it was? We had sex, maybe not the entire way, but I’d say it’s close enough. Dude, you told me you were a virgin so the fact that you were willing to try at all made me feel fucking lucky. You made me cum, I don’t know if you know this, but that’s kind of a good thing when you’re putting your mouth on someone’s dick,” I shot back.
“And are you going to be okay with that kind of thing if I never got better?” he asked.
“Yeah, actually.”
“Bullshit, you’d want better at some point,” Levi quipped.
I could feel the familiar warm heat of anger building in my chest as Levi kept minimizing what I was saying. It wasn’t easy to talk about how I felt under the best circumstances, let alone when I was trying to reassure him that I enjoyed myself. If I said that I fucking liked something, I shouldn’t have to defend that point like I was in a fucking courtroom.
“I’ll play your little game, Levi. What if I do want better? Are you going to tuck your tail between your legs and run away like a little bitch, or would you be willing to let me tell you what I preferred?” I asked.
“Oh, so now I’m a little bitch?”
My hands balled up into fists. I took a deep breath and forced myself to think about how he must be feeling about everything. In just a couple days, I probably made him feel like he was both special and insignificant at the same time. I didn’t want to make him feel like I didn’t appreciate him, but damn, there was only so much leniency I could give him.
“Levi, stop the car,” I rumbled.
He glanced over at me and then back to the road, “Fuck that. I’m giving you a ride to school.”
I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed the door handle, “Stop the god damn car!”
Levi slowed down and once we reached a stop in the middle of the road, he mumbled, “I’m sorry, Hunter.”
“I just need some time to cool my fucking head, dude. I’ll see you in class, don’t act like a fucking stranger either, I’m allowed to be pissed off, too,” I said and got out of the car.
He hesitated a moment before driving off. As irritated as I was with him, I still hated that things escalated like they did. Everything seemed like it was going so well last night. Even if he was worried about what people would think about us, that didn’t give him the right to ignore how we felt about one another. I’d already told him time and time again to not worry about anyone else, but he obviously didn’t want to hear that.
If Levi couldn’t figure his shit out, I’d have to explain to my folks that he wasn’t going to be coming around for a while.
Chapter Eleven
I picked Ashley up like usual and tried to hide the fact that my heart was in a thousand pieces, but my sniffling wouldn’t let me hide a damn thing. He didn’t deserve my tears, but I didn’t even know why I was crying. I was pissed at him, myself, and just about everything else, but I couldn’t figure out how to let that go.
He shouldn’t have made me drop him off on the side of the road. I knew Hunter would be fine, but things were already starting to feel shakier than I originally thought they might be. It was my fault. I could
accept that much. I rushed into things with him last night because I thought that was what I wanted. It was fun and I enjoyed it as much as I probably could have, but I wasn’t ready for it. And then I started making promises that I knew I couldn’t keep anymore.
If I couldn’t even keep my shit together after blowing him, how the fuck could I handle having sex with him?
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Ashley asked quietly. I shook my head. She sighed and leaned back against the seat, “So I’ll guess. You’re crying, so something went wrong. As long as I’ve known you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry. The only new thing in your life is Hunter, so I’m going to assume that something happened between you two.”
“Shut up,” I whispered.
“You see, I would if I thought that it would help you at all. Levi, you can either tell me what happened or I can keep guessing until I get it right,” she said.
“Or you can stop pretending you care.”
Ashley let out a disgusted groan and shook her head, “What the fuck is up with you?”
“Why does it matter?” I asked. There was plenty wrong at the moment, but they were my problems. If I couldn’t even get my point across to Hunter, I doubted I’d have much better luck with Ashley.
“Because I care about you. Seriously, how many times have you been there for me when I needed someone to talk to? I get that you’re a loner but that doesn’t give you a right to shut me out when you need someone,” she said.
“It’s a long story and I don’t know if we’ve got time,” I mumbled.
“We’ve got plenty of time. You’re always early as shit to everything, so I’m fine with just sitting in the parking lot for a while if that’s what you need.”
I started filling her in on what happened. All of it, even the part about blowing Hunter that I wasn’t that proud of. Ashley stayed pretty quiet throughout the retelling, which was definitely unusual for her. When I finished, she put a hand on my shoulder and rubbed it gently, “I think you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. And Hunter, honestly. You have no clue how happy I am that you two are dating, but it doesn’t sound like you’re really giving it much of a fighting chance. You were the one that told me that you wanted to be in a relationship. Dating isn’t a one-sided thing. You can’t expect him to meet you if you’re not willing to go to the middle as well. If I’m being honest, it sounds like he was definitely trying to meet you more than halfway.”
“I’m trying. This is new to me and I’m not sure what the fuck I’m supposed to do. I’ve known him for three years, but I didn’t really know anything about him until these past few days. God damn, I sucked a stranger’s cock,” I muttered.
Ashley pulled her hand from my shoulder and looked out across the parking lot, “I’ve probably slept with thirty guys in this school. A couple tried to date me and that went well enough at first, but they weren’t in it for anything but the sex. I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything, but Hunter’s first date with you was taking you to meet his parents. I’d kill to have a guy that thought introducing me to his parents was the best way to get me to fall for him. A guy like that is the kind of guy I’d want to have a family with. I’m not saying Hunter is perfect, it sounds like he has some work to do on his end as well, but you can’t expect him to read your mind. And if your biggest complaint is that you don’t know how to suck his dick, you’re basically saying you can’t believe you failed a test for a class you weren’t even taking.”
“Then what am I supposed to do? Let him fuck me and tell him that I don’t feel like I should be doing more for him than I am?” I asked.
“Seriously? You blew him and he didn’t even get you off. If anything, he’s the one that should feel bad about what happened last night,” she said.
I shrugged my shoulders, “It was weird with all the people in his house. Things kind of just happened and we went with it.”
“That’s not the point. I don’t know, I guess what I’m saying is that you two either need to find some kind of compromise or just break up before things start getting too serious. If you’re not willing to let him try to help you, then you shouldn’t be the one holding anything against him,” she said.
“You’re taking his side?”
“You’re the one that’s being unreasonable here, Levi. You know that I’d have your back any day of the week, but this isn’t about picking sides. You’re literally stonewalling him and acting like he did something to deserve it. It sounds more like you took the lead last night and if that’s true, then what are you complaining about?” she asked.
I let out a deep sigh and crossed my arms, “I just don’t want to get my hopes up for a relationship that probably wouldn’t mean a damn thing to him if he found another guy to replace me.”
“Levi, you’re a fucking idiot if you think you’re replaceable. I’m not saying he couldn’t find another boyfriend if he wanted one, but he’s willing to come out for you and it seems like you want to do the same for him. I already know a couple LGBT people in school, so obviously it’s not like a cult is kidnapping them and torturing people for coming out, but it means something to both of you. I’m straight, I get that I’m lucky for not having to have that problem, but seriously, pick a side. Do you want to date Hunter or not?”
“I want to date him, I just don’t want—”
“Shut up. You told me your answer. Stop worrying about all the little shit, Levi. There’s always going to be petty shit that will annoy you, that’s just how life works. Hunter really does seem like he cares about you. Let him,” she said quietly.
I nodded slowly and mumbled, “Would you walk with me to meet him?”
“Text him and see if he wants to talk first. You probably did upset him and if he wants some space, that’s going to have to be something you can accept,” she said.
Ashley had a point. There was nothing I hated more than being wrong, but I still had to cut myself some slack. Unlike college, I couldn’t blame myself for not preparing enough for whatever situation I’d need to do well in. This was a relationship, it was a give and take scenario that I couldn’t prepare myself for. That didn’t give me the right to be a complete asshole to Hunter, though. I fucked up and it was my fault. I just had to hope that he would be willing to let me try to make things right.
I sent him a text that read, “I’m sorry for this morning, Hunter. You didn’t deserve that and I shouldn’t take my problems out on you. Is there any way we could talk before class?”
It didn’t take long before he sent a text back, “And say what? I’m not in a great mood right now. I accept your apology and I’m not going to hold it against you. I’ll talk to you later today.”
There weren’t many times in the past few years that I felt like I wasn’t in control of my emotions. It was one of the few benefits of being as much of a recluse as I could be. I had Ashley as my lifeline to keep me somewhat connected to society, but that was where my circle stopped until Hunter started talking to me. Everything happened so fast and I was caught up in the whirlwind of excitement. Even as I reread his text, I almost hoped that the words would change. I didn’t want to wait until later. I apologized, but that wasn’t good enough at the moment.
But that wasn’t Hunter’s fault. I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to talk to me right now, even if it did hurt. This wasn’t even the first time I drove him off… it wasn’t even the first time that I let him walk away. When was I going to learn my damn lesson? Hunter was a good man and he was my man.
I glanced over at Ashley and asked, “Do you know where Hunter usually hangs out before class?”
“Either at the bleachers or on the benches near the cafeteria usually, why?” she asked.
“I’m about to make a really bad move,” I muttered.
Chapter Twelve
My elbows dug into my knees uncomfortably as I sat with my hands clenched tightly together. For once, I really hated that Wendall, Tommy, and a couple other guys from the team dec
ided to show up early enough to chat with me. I just wanted to be left alone, but I couldn’t even have that right now. There were only a couple of minutes before class started and they weren’t helping calm me down at all. I just wanted a damn breather but I couldn’t even have that.
It wasn’t like I could tell any of them what was going on. Even if Levi pretended that he’d be fine with being open about our relationship, he didn’t seem ready for that step. So I just had to grit my teeth and listen to the guys talk about their nights.
Tommy nudged my shoulder and asked, “What’d you get up to during practice yesterday, man? Couldn’t be anything good if you’re sitting there sulking. You couldn’t find a bitch to fuck or something?”
I shot up and glared into Tommy’s eyes, “What the fuck did I tell you about calling chicks that?”
Wendall put a hand on my shoulder. “Come on, Hunter, Tommy is too braindead to learn anything. He didn’t mean anything by it, just let it go.”
Tommy glared back at me, “I meant what I said. I don’t need you to back me up, Wendall. If Hunter wants to jump, let his ass jump. He’s already off the team, Coach wouldn’t care if I gave Hunter a reason to skip practice again.”
Wendall tried to pull me away from Tommy, but I held my ground. “Tommy, maybe now isn’t the time to let Hunter know.”
“Know what?” I snarled.
Tommy smirked, “Coach dropped you, man. Not second string. Not third. You’re off the team. He was going to tell you when you came to practice this afternoon, but you might as well hear about it now instead. Might help you get your mind off that bitch that turned you down.” He reached out and patted me on the cheek, “But don’t worry, I’m sure you could still be our number one fan. Silver linings.”
