The Jitterbug
Page 1
SUPER
HAPPY
PARTY
BEARS
THE
JITTERBUG
Marcie Colleen
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Table of Contents
About the Author
Copyright Page
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FOR CHRIS,
WHO GOT HER WINGS
CHAPTER ONE
Welcome to the Grumpy Woods!
Actually, if you know what’s good for you, you might want to tiptoe out of here. Very quietly.
Everyone here is extremely cranky.
It’s gotten even worse ever since Flying Blind, the bat-only punk rock band, set up an all-night concert on the Grumpy Flats and kept the townscritters awake way past their bedtime. Luckily, the Super Happy Party Band joined in with a few verses of “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” which changed the sound of the music and sent all the Flying Blind fans, and the band itself, packing. So I guess you can say the bears saved the day. Of course, don’t give credit to the Super Happy Party Bears in front of Mayor Quill unless you want to be caught up in a quill storm. And his quills have just grown back after several outbursts.
Once rid of midnight concerts, the townscritters of the Grumpy Woods slept and slept and slept and slept. Right now you are probably thinking Sleeping for a long time was just what they needed and The townscritters must have felt so rested. Well, no. The crazy thing is, they were groggy and even grumpier than before! Apparently, they slept too much.
When they woke up, Humphrey Hedgehog, assistant deputy to Mayor Quill, was excited about a dream he had regarding a way to keep bands from performing in the Grumpy Woods. He drafted some blueprints and then insisted that Mayor Quill hold a very official meeting at City Hall.
Everyone, from Squirrelly Sam to Dawn Fawn, attended. Except the Super Happy Party Bears. They weren’t invited because, well, they are too happy. Humphrey was cranky from too much sleep and didn’t want to be around anyone who was cheery and might distract the townscritters from the topic at hand.
“An open field just asks for trouble,” proclaimed Humphrey, unrolling his blueprint. “I propose we cover the Grumpy Flats with thorny berry bushes and rename it the Grumpy Bramble.”
“Like blueberry bushes?” asked Mayor Quill.
“No. I want to use berries that grow on bushes with thorns. Like raspberries,” explained Humphrey.
“Like sssstrawberriessss?” asked Sheriff Sherry.
“No. Those don’t have thorns. But like blackberries,” said Humphrey.
“Like bananas?” asked Bernice Bunny.
“Like coconuts?” asked Squirrelly Sam.
“No!” yelled Humphrey.
Mayor Quill was deep in thought. His brow was scrunched. He didn’t look too happy with Humphrey’s plan.
Finally, he spoke up. “I have a better idea. I propose we cover the Grumpy Flats with thorny boysenberry bushes, and some raspberry and blackberry ones, and rename it the Grumpy Bramble.”
“Now, that’s an interesting thought,” said Squirrelly Sam.
“Let’s put it to a vote,” said Bernice.
They did, and Mayor Quill’s proposal won in a landslide victory over Humphrey’s. That was that. It was very official. The gardening project started immediately.
And so, lately, everyone in the Grumpy Woods wakes up covered from head to toe with thorn scratches and orders up some breakfast—two fresh-from-the-oven eye rolls served with a pat of butter and a few slices of Baloney!
That is, everyone except the Super Happy Party Bears.
If you travel just beyond the new Grumpy Flats, which is now the new Grumpy Bramble (you have to keep up here!), and follow the carefully placed sticks, laid out in the shape of arrows, up the flower-lined path, you’ll see a welcome sign. That’s the Party Patch, the Headquarters of Fun. Life there is very different. LIFE IS SUPER. Life is happy. Life is full of parties!
And so, every morning, the Super Happy Party Bears wake up ready to tackle the day and order up some breakfast—a toppling tower of slaphappy cakes garnished with a spoonful of Peachy keen!
Nothing annoys the critters of the Grumpy Woods more.
Except when the bears have a party.
And they are always having a party.
CHAPTER TWO
It was berry season in the Grumpy Woods. Or, as the Super Happy Party Bears liked to call it, jelly doughnut season! Sure, the Grumpy Bramble was difficult to harvest. Its thorny mesh of raspberry, blackberry, and boysenberry bushes formed a tightly knit hedge to keep out any and all bears. But the bears simply donned their Hug-a-Mayor suits. After all, they never got close enough to Mayor Quill to use the twig-and-pinecone armor before he decreed The mayor does not hug anyone, ever! He even underlined it not once, not twice, but five times. No one dared argue with that.
So, the Hug-a-Mayor suits were paired with some newly whittled stilts for bramble-berry picking. It worked splendidly.
The bears, with juice-stained paws and faces, hauled basket after basket of berries to the Party Patch.
It was time for the daily doughnut preparation.
All the berries were dumped into a blow-up swimming pool in the center of the dance floor.
Big Puff hit his drumsticks together. “ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!”
The Super Happy Party Band jammed out some berry-squashing tunes as two bears smashed and mashed, squishing the berries as they danced inside the pool.
“Jelly making is slippery!” The littlest bear giggled as he slid and almost fell.
“Jam is like happiness,” said Bubs, calmly blowing party-perfect bubbles over the berries. “You can’t spread even a little without getting some on yourself.”
Just then, there was a knock on the Party Patch door.
“ONE! TWO! THREE! WHO CAN IT BEEEEEEEEEEEE?” sang out the bears.
Now, normally a dozen pairs of furry feet would shuffle over to the door to greet the visitors. However, the bears’ feet were a bit busy—and sticky—at the moment.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Whoever was on the other side of the door was growing impatient.
Thinking fast, Tunes and Jacks each grabbed a stilt and rowed the jelly-filled pool across the room while the band played “Row, Row, Row Your Pool.”
Once at the door, they sang out again, “ONE! TWO! THREE! WHO CAN IT BEEEEEEEEEEEE?” The bears swung the door open wide just as Humphrey Hedgehog reached up to knock a fourth time, instead knocking on the purple one’s nose, which caused him to sneeze right in Humphrey’s and Sherry’s faces.
“VISITORS!” cheered the bears.
Humphrey pulled out a hankie and wiped himself dry.
“Hop aboard,” said Tunes. “But I dropped my oar. So I’m afraid we’re stuck steering in circles now.”
“Ooh! Let’s go in circles!” cheered the bears, and they slowly started to spin the jelly-filled pool with one stilt.
“Enough!” said Humphrey. “We are here on very official business. By order of Mayoral Decree number two four six oh one: If a loaf of bread does not belong to you, you have no right
to eat it!”
“Thissss morning Mayor Quill ssssat down for hissss breakfasssst and found only crumbssss where hissss toasssst had been,” explained Sherry.
“Sam was in the branches above City Hall at the time and said he saw a flash of green and pink dance out of the building and head toward the Party Patch,” said Humphrey.
Sherry and Humphrey eyed Mops and Jacks and their berry-stained paws. “We’ve caught you red-handed. And red-footed. And red-faced,” Humphrey added.
“Everyone out of the pool,” said Sherry.
But before Sherry could get out her handcuffs (not an easy task without hands), a green caterpillar with a tuft of pink fuzzy hair Hula-Hooped a doughnut past the bears in their jelly-filled pool and the two accusing townscritters. When the caterpillar, who was humming a happy little tune, noticed that he was being watched, he paused on the flower-lined path and devoured the doughnut in one bite, leaving only a few crumbs.
“Ta-da!” the caterpillar sang, and waved six jazz hands in the air.
CHAPTER THREE
“He’s adorable!” cheered the bears.
Humphrey crouched down to get a better look at the green caterpillar with the pink hair atop his head and realized that this was probably the green-and-pink culprit Sam had witnessed leaving City Hall. “By Mayoral Decree number two four six oh one—”
The caterpillar just giggled and started to do the chicken dance. The bears quickly joined in.
“Enough!” said Humphrey. “This caterpillar stole the mayor’s toast and one of your doughnuts. We do not tolerate thievery in the Grumpy Woods.”
“Doughnut sharing is doughnut caring,” said Bubs.
“Were you hungry, little guy?” asked Jacks.
The caterpillar’s eyes grew big and watery as he nodded in reply.
“You sssshould have asssked, then,” Sherry scolded.
The caterpillar shimmied over to snuggle Sherry and scooted up to her neck. He flashed a smile at his reflection in her badge.
“Do you know this creature?” Humphrey asked Sherry. “You do look a lot alike.”
Sherry shrugged the caterpillar off and hissed at Humphrey.
“What’s your name, little guy?” asked the littlest bear.
The caterpillar started to break-dance. He popped to the left. He stomped to the right. Roll, roll, robot arms. Then he wriggled across the path like a worm, spun on his head, and balanced on one hand as he bounced in circles. He finished off with jazz hands and a “Ta-da!” The bears saw that he had written the word BUTTER in the dirt.
“Welcome to the Party Patch, Butter!” said Mops.
The bears applauded.
“IT’S SUPER HAPPY BUTTER TIME! SUPER HAPPY BUTTER TIME!” they all chanted, and did their Super Happy Party Dance. Butter joined in.
Butter rubbed up against the littlest bear’s legs like a cat and licked at the drying berry juice.
“Can we keep him?” asked the littlest bear.
“A pet is a big responsibility,” said Humphrey.
“WE LOVE RESPONSIBILITY!” cheered the bears.
“Well, in that case,” said Humphrey, “you are to report to City Hall immediately to register your animal. And I hereby give you this ticket for improper pet control. Make sure he doesn’t steal any more food. The mayor requires his morning toast with butter.” Butter perked up at his name. “Not you,” said Humphrey.
Humphrey slapped the ticket into Ziggy’s paw.
“What is this?” asked Ziggy.
“A fine,” said Humphrey.
“A fine what?” asked Ziggy.
“Not a fine what,” said Humphrey. “Just a fine.”
Little Puff dashed into the Party Patch and scribbled with her crayons on some paper. She came back and slapped the paper into the hedgehog’s paw. It was a drawing of Humphrey.
“We think you are fine, too, Humphrey,” she said.
“GROUP HUG!” cheered the bears.
“Ack!” screamed Humphrey, turning quickly to avoid the group hug. But before he could escape, he smacked right into the Party Patch welcome sign, dislodging a few of the stick-figure townscritters from the diorama sitting on top.
The stick figure of Mayor Quill bounced off Sherry’s head and bonked Humphrey on the nose.
“Pardon me, sir,” Humphrey called back to the wooden porcupine as he hurried down the path with Sherry on his heels.
“Humphrey never says good-bye,” Bubs explained to Butter. “Because saying good-bye means being away from the ones he loves.”
CHAPTER FOUR
The bears finished up their batch of special Grumpy Bramble berry doughnuts. Butter loved the warm pillows of dough bursting with fresh jam. Jacks lost track of just how many doughnuts Butter ate. But it was around a dozen. For a little guy, he sure could eat a lot!
To clean up, they filled the now-empty blow-up pool with sudsy water perfect for a bath.
“POOL PARTY!” they cheered as, one by one, they cannonballed into the bubbles. Butter joined in, holding on to the stick-figure Mayor Quill as a floaty.
Once squeaky-clean, they headed down to City Hall to get Butter registered, as Humphrey had instructed.
They all paraded out of the Party Patch, down the flower-lined path, and straight to City Hall. Butter rode along on the littlest bear’s shoulder like a pirate’s parrot. However, instead of squawking or saying “Aarghh” like a pirate, Butter kept striking poses and saying “Ta-da!” Which caused the bears to also strike poses and say “Ta-da!” It took a very long time to get to City Hall.
Mayor Quill, as usual, was not in the mood for dancing. His whole morning had been filled with complaints from townscritters. Apparently, Butter had been eating his way around the Grumpy Woods.
“My clover patch was mowed down to nothing,” said Bernice. “Even my specialty four-leaf variety.”
“WhoOOOo dared steal my tea leaves?” screeched Opal.
“My vegetablessss were all harvessssted!” complained Sherry.
“Now, see, you didn’t strike me as the vegetable-patch type,” said Humphrey to Sherry.
“I’m a garden ssssnake,” explained Sherry. “It helpssss me with sssstressss.”
“You didn’t hear this from me,” said Sam, “but we’re all going to starve!”
“GRUMBLY TUMMY! GRUMBLY TUMMY! GRUMBLY TUMMY!” sang Dawn Fawn.
As Dawn sang, the bears and Butter shuffled through the door.
“Ooh! WE LOVE PARTIES!” exclaimed the bears upon seeing all their neighbors.
Jigs glanced around the room. “If this is a party, where’s the food?” she whispered loudly to Ziggy.
The townscritters scowled.
Mayor Quill quivered. A quill storm was brewing.
“Nice of you to join us,” he said through clenched teeth. “I see you have brought your pet.”
“This is Butter,” said the littlest bear. He motioned to his shoulder, but Butter wasn’t there. Butter was on Mayor Quill’s desk, munching on some papers. When Butter realized that everyone was watching him, he moonwalked across a pile of books, did a quick pirouette, and then waved his six jazz hands. “Ta-da!”
The bears applauded. “Isn’t he the cutest?”
Mayor Quill shook with anger but calmly took his empty breakfast bowl, turned it upside down, and trapped Butter underneath.
“By order of Mayoral Decree number two four six oh one,” the mayor yelled to the overturned bowl, “if a loaf of bread does not belong to you, you have no right to eat it! Additionally, by order of Mayoral Decree number two four six oh one point ONE, if a patch of clover does not belong to you, you have no right to eat it! Number two four six oh one point TWO, if tea leaves do not belong to you, you have no right to eat them! Number two—”
Humphrey interrupted. “Sir, perhaps we can just say that eating food that is not yours is wrong.”
Mayor Quill grumbled and rewrote the decrees with a fresh quill from his belly.
Then, looking at the bears, he said, �
�As Humphrey has informed you, all pets in the Grumpy Woods must be licensed and properly controlled. Therefore, I hereby declare a leash law.” He pulled a leash and collar from his desk drawer and handed it to the littlest bear.
“Oooh! WE LOVE ACCESSORIES!” cheered the bears.
“I can put some sparkles on that,” said Shades, “and it will really bling!”
The bears rescued Butter from under the bowl and placed the collar around his small green neck. Butter simply slipped right out of the collar to get one last chomp of paper.
Mayor Quill couldn’t contain his anger any longer. He stomped his foot. He shook from head to toe. Just before he exploded, the townscritters took cover.
Quills ricocheted everywhere. Three soared straight toward Butter, who caught them in his hands. And then, holding the quills like canes, Butter started to tap-dance.
“Ta-da, sir!” said Humphrey.
CHAPTER FIVE
Back at the Party Patch, it was time for the Super Happy Pet Training to begin. After all, the bears had promised the mayor they would teach Butter how to be polite and behave properly. It had been decreed.
The bears sat in a big circle on the floor and placed Butter in the middle.
“We’re going to teach you EVERYTHING we know!” said the littlest bear.
Butter nodded eagerly.
“First thing: doughnuts!” said Little Puff.