Rubicon

by Linda Coleman

  Melissa stared at Victor. He was not making any sense whatsoever and she too was now worrying that his pain was intense enough to make him delirious, but she had no time to try to interpret his incoherent ravings. She left the barn and headed for the house as fast as she could, going straight to her room. She slipped on her watch and grabbed the ring box from the dressing table drawer, determined to take them and shove them under Anthony’s nose to prove her innocence. As she headed back down the stairs, she heard the jeep starting. She ran to the front door in time to see Anthony leaving in it, throwing dust and grit in the air as he sped away up the drive.

  In the silence that descended after the dust had settled, Melissa felt suddenly alone. She had never seen Anthony this angry and she was afraid she had lost him forever. Filled with the same overwhelming sense of desperation that she had felt the day her grandmother died, she sat on the steps of the veranda and stared down the drive into the emptiness left by his sudden exit.

  As the afternoon dragged on, Melissa took a walk around the site. It felt like every one of the students was avoiding her or talking about her in whispers as they passed her by, carrying their bags to the waiting taxis. When she found she could not stand the accusing glances any longer, she headed off across the fields, through the trees and down to the tiny stream that Victor insisted was the Rubicon. She sat by the water’s edge and watched the water trickling downstream as she mulled over the afternoon’s events.

  Someone had definitely set her up, but the question was who. Victor was her first thought, but he was too frail to have managed it alone. Rebecca was a more likely candidate, but she doubted the girl would ever put her hands in the dirt for any reason in case she broke a nail. That only left Anthony.

  It occurred to her that Anthony had been in her room that morning and he had deliberately engineered it so she overslept when he turned off the alarm. He was the one who had given her both the ring and the watch, which had been a present for her twenty-first birthday. He could easily have obtained duplicates of both items and then put them in the site himself. She could not explain how the soil looked as if it had lain untouched for centuries, but what did that matter? Anthony had more years of field experience than she did, and was the most likely candidate for staging such an elaborate hoax. No matter how far-fetched it seemed, the only explanation she could think of was that Anthony was the one responsible.

  Anger now began to replace her earlier feelings of grief. If Anthony had done this, he really was the total shit she had once believed him to be. She had done nothing wrong, but had been made to feel like the evil villain in a play. She was wounded by his actions once again, but had no idea what to do for the best.

  She stared blankly down at the water beside her. For Caesar, the decision to cross the Rubicon had been a difficult one, but it proved to be a pivotal moment in his life. Now, as Melissa looked down into this pitiful little stream, she too was faced with an unenviable decision: stay and confront Anthony, or leave now with what little dignity she had left. Melissa was not the risk-taker Caesar had been and she had no more fight left in her. Giving Anthony a second chance had been a serious error of judgement on her part. Even though she doubted she could ever trust him, she had let him in again and dared to hope he was different. She had come here because she had wanted to be with him more than she cared to admit, but now her dream was over. Where Caesar had advanced, she would retreat. She decided it was time to leave her fantasies of an exciting future with Anthony Marcus behind, and try to return to her ordinary little life.

  Melissa slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out the ring box. She was determined to hurl it into the stream, but as she raised her arm above her head she stopped herself. All the time it had been in her possession, she had never given it more than a cursory glance. Now, having seen the grubby little ring in the tray, she felt an urge to examine it more closely. Slowly, she opened it and removed the ring. It was a gold band set with three stones: a dark sapphire in the middle, with a small diamond on either side. The diamonds had been set in white gold to make them appear larger. It could not have been very expensive, but they had only been poor students when it had been bought. Anthony had chosen well: it was exactly the sort of understated ring she would have chosen for herself.

  She forced the ring over her finger with some difficulty. Her hands were fatter these days than they had been back then, but it went on eventually. She sat looking at it, thinking about how different their lives could have been had Victor not ruined everything when they were young. Melissa felt herself becoming emotional again and decided to put the ring back in its box. She pulled at it and instantly regretted forcing it onto her hand. No matter how hard she pulled, it would not budge. She dropped her hand into the cold water of the stream for a few minutes, but it made no difference. The ring was stuck fast. She would have to try and remove it back in the house.

  Chapter 5

  Melissa had not realised quite how late it was, or how bad the weather looked. She got up from the bank as the first drops of rain began to fall. As she walked back to the house, she noticed the large thunder clouds that had built in the sky. The air had become heavy and humid and she quickened her pace as the raindrops became larger. By the time she reached the barn, it was unusually dark and she was reliant on the light from the windows of the house to see her way back across the garden, until a massive lightning strike hit somewhere in the distance, illuminating the entire area. The rain came down so hard it stung her skin as it hit her bare arms, and she ran the final few yards back to the house and up the steps to the veranda. She was soaking wet and so distracted by the booming thunder, which followed close on the heels of the lightning, that she failed to notice the jeep was back.

  Melissa opened the front door and walked into the hall, closing the door as quietly as she could behind her. She took off her muddy boots and tiptoed upstairs and into her room without being noticed. What she was not prepared for was another run in with Anthony who was sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. He looked up anxiously, though relief instantly spread across his face as he saw it was her. He stood up and reached for her, but she side-stepped his advance, making him pull back.

  “Thank God you’re OK,” he said. “Where have you been?”

  “Down at the Rubicon. I needed to think.” Melissa hid her left hand in her pocket. She had no intention of letting Anthony see the ring stuck on her finger. She moved past him and pulled her case out of the corner, throwing it on the bed. “I need to pack, so if you will please leave, I can get on with it.”

  All of Anthony’s intentions to hold back and wait for Melissa to come to him were gone. When he had returned to the house earlier and found her missing he had been beside himself with worry that he had driven her away through his own thoughtlessness. He knew he had overreacted, as always, and had searched the estate looking for her, including the riverbank, but he had not found her. Now she was here his relief overcame his intentions to hold back. He was desperate to hold her and to tell her how sorry he was. Moving around the bed he tried to slide his arms around her waist, but she pushed him away forcefully.

  “Leave me alone!” Melissa said sharply. She was mortified that he could be so forward after the way he had treated her.

  Anthony stood back a little, but would not leave. He reached past her and pulled the case back off the bed. “We have to talk,” he said. “Please, I owe you an apology. I was being ridiculous earlier and I know that you didn’t put those things in that cup. How could you? I’ve hardly left you alone for five minutes since you got here. Anyway, you’re wearing the watch.” He reached down for her wrist, but again she pulled away from him, making sure she kept her hand firmly in her pocket.

  Melissa tried to reach for the case with her other arm, but Anthony stood in front of it. She glared at him, determined not to give in. “It’s a little late for apologies, don’t you think?” she said coldly. “You have made me the laughing stock of this dig. There’s not a single person out t
here who doesn’t know what happened earlier − thanks to your vacuous little helper!”

  “I know, but I can fix it if you just give me a chance. Please, Liss, I have no idea how that stuff got there, any more than you, but you know as well as I do that it’s pointless to continue with the dig.” There was an air of desperation in Anthony’s voice, but Melissa tried to ignore it. He had hurt her and she needed to get out of the room before her resolve faltered.

  “Why should I give you any more chances? You’ve spent your life making a total fool of me and this dig is just another example. You’ve taken everything I had. My love, my future, my confidence and now it appears you want the only thing I have left: my dignity. There’s nothing left after that.” Her voice faltered and she looked away. She could feel her emotions building and the urge to run away became ever more desperate. She tried to move past him once more, but still he blocked her escape.

  “Please let me go,” she begged, choking back the tears as she spoke, pressing both her hands firmly against his chest as she tried to push him backwards, forgetting about trying to hide the ring.

  “No,” he said calmly, “not until you hear me out.”

  “I’ll scream,” her words were barely audible and she knew it was nothing more than an idle threat.

  “Scream, shout, cry, hit me again if you like, but you will listen to me if it takes us all night.”

  Melissa took Anthony at his word. She raised her hand and went to slap him as she had so many months ago in the pub garden. This time he caught her wrist and held it fast.

  “I want nothing more to do with you! I hate you!” Melissa spat the words at him as she struggled to free her arm from his vice-like grip. She glared at him, willing herself to mean what she had said.

  Anthony simply stared at her for what seemed like an age as she continued to struggle, until he slipped his other arm around her waist and pulled her to him, releasing her wrist and using his newly-freed hand to hold her head against his chest.

  “No, you don’t.” His words were gentle and soothing. “You should, but you don’t. That’s what makes this so hard for you.”

  Melissa tried for the briefest moment to pull away, but she no longer had the strength to fight him. She collapsed against him, her body convulsing in wave after wave of uncontrollable sobs.

  Anthony was gently stroking her hair as he spoke. “You seem to think this was deliberate on my part, like I’m trying to wreck everything. Liss, don’t you get it yet? I’m still in love with you. That’s why it hurt so much to think you had betrayed me.” He kissed the top of her head gently. “I know I’m a total arse at times, today proved that, but I swear I’d never do anything to hurt you deliberately. I was prepared to give up everything I had, just to get you here and I still am. Someone is trying to hurt us both. I don’t know who yet, but I’m not going to let them. Just because this dig is over doesn’t mean my feelings for you will ever change. They never have, and they never will.” He pushed her away just far enough to be able to turn her head towards him. Holding her chin with his fingertips, he took a deep breath before making an insane offer. “I’ll go to the press and tell them I’m a fraud. I’ll tell them I took your work and that you are the one with the real talent. Maybe someone will give you a better job. At the very least, you’ll be able to sell your story and get even with me for all the pain I’ve caused you.”

  “You can’t do that! I won’t let you!” Melissa was horrified at what Anthony had said. At one time she had thought she would enjoy revenge, but just hearing him suggest it made her feel ill.

  Anthony gently brushed a tear from Melissa’s face. “Why not? What possible reason could you have for not wanting to see me ruined?”

  “I love you!” Melissa blurted out the words without thinking.

  Anthony stood staring at Melissa, his mouth wide open, not knowing quite what to do next. As determined as he had been to hear her say those words, he never expected her to do so after everything that had happened that day. Melissa went red. She dropped her eyes and began to pull away, finally jolting him into action. He pulled her back to his body forcefully, and kissed her passionately.

  Melissa tried feebly to pull away for the briefest moment, but she could not bring herself to let go. Instead, she returned his kiss with as much passion as he had shown, wrapping her arms around his neck as she did so.

  Anthony pulled his head away from Melissa and looked searchingly into her eyes. He wanted her more than anything, but he had to be sure she wanted him too. He needed a sign from her, something more than a single kiss. Sensing his doubt, she reached down and began fumbling with his belt buckle, finally undoing it and moving on to the button of his shorts. At the first touch of her hand against his flesh, all Anthony’s uncertainties vanished. He swung Melissa off her feet and threw her onto the bed, dropping onto the sheets next to her. Now he had the permission he needed, he intended to make Melissa realise what she had been missing all these years.

  Anthony had come a long way sexually since they had last been together. It had been his intention to use the skills he had learnt to ensure Melissa would never want anyone else ever again, but for a man who prided himself in his control, he was finding the sensations overwhelming him too much to bear. It had been a very long time since he had been with a woman and his desires became stronger as each item of clothing was struggled out of and tossed carelessly on the floor.

  When there was nothing more between them, Anthony paused, taking a long look over the body of the woman next to him. Melissa blushed, suddenly aware of his intent stare. She shifted nervously and reached her hand up to the back of his neck, pulling his head towards hers, crushing their lips together even more passionately than before, until she felt his body slide over hers and begin its rhythmical dance.

  Anthony knew how close Melissa was to giving herself to him. He pulled back slightly, lessening the pressure against her body, determined to make the moment last as long as he could manage. Despite his own sense of urgency, he wanted their reunion to be as tender as it had been the first time he had made love to her in those fields so long ago.

  Melissa misunderstood his meaning. “Oh God, no,” she gasped, fearing he was going to stop. She instinctively pulled her legs up over his hips. Her calves pressed down on his buttocks, determined to pull him ever deeper as she raised her body to meet each of his thrusts.

  Anthony could no longer hold on to his own yearnings. He could sense what she wanted, and knew he wanted it too. Tenderness went out of the window as he rammed himself against her, making her scream his name out loud. Each thrust came as hard and deep as the last until Melissa gave in to the emotions flooding through her body. Her breath came in short pants as she quickened her movements against him. She sank her nails deep into the flesh of his shoulders as she arched her back one final time, before finally falling beneath him, quivering uncontrollably and allowing the tears of sheer joy to fall from her eyes.

  Anthony felt his own desperation surge out of him. He collapsed on top of her, unable to lift so much as a finger of his own weight. He feared he was crushing her, but Melissa made no objection. If anything, she seemed to be holding him tighter than she had before. They lay together, limbs entwined, for the longest time before either had the energy to move.

  Anthony finally slid his body off his lover’s, and rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. As he wrapped his arms around her, Melissa raised her leg over his and ran her foot up his calf. He was so happy he could hardly bear to speak and ruin the moment, but there was still so much to say.

  “I’m sorry, that was a bit quick,” he said with a hint of embarrassment.

  “Shhh,” she murmured, her hand gently brushing through the hairs on his chest. “It’s what we both needed. Just promise me we can do it again, a little slower,” she added as she nuzzled her head against his shoulder.

  “You give me a few minutes and we’ll do a lot more,” he replied. “I intend to give my future wife whatever she wants to keep
her happy.”

  “Wife?” Melissa raised her head from his chest to look at him. “Is that your idea of a proposal?”

  “Nope. I’d planned something far more romantic, but you’re the one who jumped the gun and accepted me before I’d even asked. And with a ring that only cost me ninety quid at that!” As he had been speaking Anthony had run his hand over Melissa’s. His fingers were gently rubbing her finger where the engagement ring was stuck firmly on her hand. “It feels a bit tight, actually. I think you should take it off.”

  Melisa put her head back on Anthony’s shoulder as she groaned from embarrassment. “I hoped you wouldn’t notice that. I only wanted to see what it would have looked like, but it’s stuck and I can’t shift it.”

  “Well you’re going to need to, before it cuts off your circulation. Anyway, I intend to get you a much better ring. One that fits properly and costs considerably more than that one did.”

  They lay together in silence while Melissa pondered Anthony’s proposal. She wanted to say yes more than anything, but she still had her doubts about the man lying beside her.

  “Anthony, don’t you think it’s all a bit soon to be talking about marriage?” she finally asked.

  “I’d hardly call it soon. We’ve known each other for twelve years,” he replied.

  “And we haven’t spoken for eight of those.” Melissa raised her head to look at him again. “Don’t you think that, after everything that’s happened, we should wait a little, until we’re both sure this is what we want?”

  Anthony shook his head. “Why is it everyone wants me to wait? First it was Victor, and now you. Waiting is how I lost you before and I can’t bear the thought of ever losing you again.” He rubbed her cheek gently with his hand. “Listen to me. There are things I never told you before, but I want you to know everything there is to know about me. I want to try to explain why I’ve done some of the stupid things I have. I want you to stay for the rest of my life, Liss, but first you have to forgive me for what I’ve done to you.”