More Than a Song

by Chris Paynter

  “Apology accepted. I just wanted to make sure you noticed how much Liz is into you.”

  “I’m still not sure about C.J.”

  “I wasn’t too hip on her from the very beginning.” Tina smirked. “As if you couldn’t tell. Let me ask you this—do you like her?”

  Dani thought about it for a few seconds. She realized she hadn’t even gotten a chance to figure that part out. C.J. fascinated her. Was that the same thing? Tina studied her closely.

  “I think I might need some more time.”

  “What about the doctor?”

  “I don’t know.” And Dani really didn’t. Maybe she was afraid to think Liz was the least bit interested in her. Maybe she was afraid that it was all in her imagination, but here was Tina telling her that she could see Liz was interested. Was that just Tina pushing for someone, anyone other than C.J.?

  “I can tell when you need to think about something. You get that expression like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.” Tina reached out and gave Dani a hug. “Know that it isn’t. You’ll sort all this out.”

  Although Dani felt comforted by her friend’s confidence in her and by the embrace, she didn’t share in Tina’s certainty that everything would be okay. Dani wasn’t exactly batting a thousand when it came to matters of the heart. She laughed to herself. Hell, she wasn’t even batting .500.

  * * *

  On Liz’s walk back to her car, she couldn’t shake the image of C.J. James making it very clear about the relationship between Dani and her. The best Liz could think to describe her feelings was—disappointed. Very disappointed. She had hoped that she and Dani might get to know one another, more than simply as a vet and client. Meeting up at the park and the time they shared there cemented that hope.

  Now, it seemed to be only in her mind. She felt foolish rushing over to bring the tags to Dani.

  She sighed as she slid into the driver’s seat of her Outback. Sometimes, the timing in her life truly sucked.

  Chapter 9

  Dani stepped into Carl’s on Wednesday afternoon to watch C.J. rehearse. She heard the music before she opened the door.

  Carl waved at her from behind the bar. “Hey, Dani. Good to see you again.”

  “You, too, Carl.”

  “Get you anything?” He asked the question like he knew the answer would be no. Dani wasn’t known to drink that much, especially at three in the afternoon.

  She had asked Tina to watch the shop while she took a short break. Tina seemed to sense Dani’s destination but, to her credit, didn’t make a snarky comment.

  “No,” Dani answered. She glanced back at C.J. who hadn’t looked up yet from her guitar.

  “Ah. Here to see C.J.?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Want me to get her attention?”

  “That’s okay. If you don’t mind, I’ll sit at one of the tables until she takes a break.”

  “Not a problem.” He set a Coke in front of her. “At least drink this.”

  “Thanks.” She approached a table in the corner. She didn’t want to be conspicuous. She also didn’t want to appear overly eager.

  C.J. furrowed her brow while she concentrated on her music. She didn’t sing as she picked her acoustic guitar. Dani had a feeling she was working out a new song. C.J. eyes were closed, and she hummed softly. A half smile crept across the corners of her mouth as if reliving a fond memory. She fiddled with the tune for a few more minutes. She glanced up when she took a drink from her bottled water. She spotted Dani and grinned.

  Damn. She could melt an entire stick of butter with that smile, Dani thought.

  C.J. leaned her guitar against the stand and walked over to Dani’s table. She leaned over, gave Dani a peck on the cheek, and sat down.

  “Hi.” Dani wasn’t sure exactly what she was going to say. She only knew she wanted to talk to C.J. to get some bearing on whatever it was that was going on between them. She felt like she needed to garner some control over her life that only a couple of weeks ago was so simple and uncomplicated.

  C.J. took another drink from her water and peered at Dani over the bottle. Dani took a sip of her Coke. When she spoke, she kept her voice low in the muted bar. “About Saturday night—”

  C.J. reached across the table and encircled Dani’s hand with her long fingers.

  “I have no regrets about that night. Do you?”

  “I don’t know what I’m feeling. The way I left. It felt cold.” There. She said it.

  C.J. turned Dani’s hand over and softly caressed Dani’s palm with her other fingers. She cleared her throat. The playfulness left her eyes. The sly grin she always seemed to sport vanished. “I’m not good at opening up, Dani. I—” She frowned. “Shit.” She took in a deep breath. “I have a difficult time accepting affection.” C.J. swallowed hard, like the truth was a physical object that needed to travel down a raw throat ravaged with the Strep virus.

  Dani sat back in her chair. She thought she’d be confronted with the “C.J. James Live and in Concert” persona. The woman who flirted without thought. Not this woman who was baring her soul—or at least seemed to be.

  “I have to be honest, C.J. It hurt the way I left your place. You were so passionate making love to me. Then, it was like you’d erected an invisible wall between us before I left.”

  “I know,” C.J. said softly. She squeezed Dani’s hand and leaned forward. “Do you think maybe you can give me another chance?”

  Dani hesitated. What was keeping her from immediately answering yes? She usually trusted her instincts, but this time she was so unsure of herself. She hated it. She thought of something to say, though.

  “Do you have to flirt with every woman you see?” She might as well get it all out there. “I mean, is this something in your nature?”

  C.J. smiled. It wasn’t one of her flashy smiles that seemed to dazzle anyone within ten feet. It was a quiet smile. “You know, you’re the first woman to ever call me on that.”

  Dani didn’t say anything.

  “Seriously. Most women I’ve dated either haven’t said anything because they were afraid I wouldn’t want to be with them anymore, or they didn’t care. It doesn’t mean anything—”

  Dani cut it her off. “It does. It’s disrespectful.” God, did she just say that? It sounded like she was a high school teacher scolding a student mouthing off in class. “I don’t know if I used the right—”

  It was C.J.’s turn to interrupt. “No. Disrespectful is definitely the right word.”

  Dani found she was nodding. She wondered where exactly they were going with all of this. She took a long hard look at C.J. With her blonde hair that feathered off her face, her light-blue eyes, her sensual mouth, she was incredibly cute. Right now, though, she just looked vulnerable.

  “Who’s the real C.J. James?”

  Dani wasn’t sure if she had spoken the words out loud until she saw C.J.’s reaction. C.J. had been staring down at the table, but her head jerked up at Dani’s question. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

  “Why don’t we have a real date? Maybe go out to dinner? Why don’t we try to get to know each other?”

  “I’d like that.”

  “You perform here almost every night, so I’m not sure how dinner will work out.”

  “Sunday night would work for me. Would you like to come by my apartment to pick me up?”

  “Why don’t I pick you up here in front of Carl’s place?” Dani wasn’t ready yet to get within a foot of C.J.’s apartment.

  “Is six okay with you?”

  “Six is perfect.” Dani rose from the table. C.J. did the same and gave Dani another kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you Sunday night, C.J.”

  As she walked back to the shop, Dani thought about their conversation. She was willing to see where this would lead. Something about C.J. intrigued her. Dani hoped it was more than her looks or that she dripped sex like a swimmer dripped water onto a tiled floor.

  Dani noticed a woman walking a beagle down
Main Street. Nose to the ground, the beagle never raised his head as he trudged beside his owner. He pulled her along until he was able to get to a tree. Just like Frodo. She thought back to Frodo yanking her toward Liz and her dog. She laughed out loud at the image.

  Liz’s kind eyes appeared in Dani’s mind as if it were only yesterday that Liz examined Frodo in her office. Dani’s pace slowed as she realized the woman she focused on wasn’t C.J. James. It was Dr. Liz Springer.

  “Dani Roberts, you’re one hopeless lesbian,” she mumbled as she pushed open the door to her store.

  * * *

  Dani pulled up to the curb in front of Carl’s Cavern. C.J. was leaning against the building watching the passers-by. A few of the women turned and smiled at her. C.J. gave them a cocky grin and nodded.

  “Clueless,” Dani said as the car came to a stop. “She’s freaking clueless.”

  C.J. spotted Dani’s car. She opened the passenger door and hopped inside.

  “How you doing? You look nice.”

  “Thanks.” Dani had tried to dress up a bit with a pair of khakis and a denim shirt. She polished it off with a leather belt, which she hardly ever wore. “I’m doing well. You look great, too.”

  C.J. wore black jeans and a tan cotton shirt. The weather had taken a warm turn. It was warm enough to do without jackets, but still not quite warm enough to be wearing short sleeves.

  “I thought we’d go to this great steak place a few miles outside of town.”

  “You’re the expert, Dani. I have no clue what’s out beyond the great town of Francis.”

  “Maybe we can drive into Atlanta sometime.”

  “That’d be nice.”

  Over dinner, they talked about their childhood. Dani talked about what it was like growing up in small town Peabody, Indiana. She told the story about what a big deal it was when a McDonald’s opened. They held a grand opening. The local media was there—the local media consisting of two reporters from the twice-a-week newspaper that could be found for free at the counter of the supermarket. She told C.J. about her parents who still lived there, about coming out to them when she was nineteen and beginning her sophomore year at Miami of Ohio. It surprised her how accepting they were. Her younger brother had been accepting, too.

  C.J. recalled her time growing up in Cincinnati. “Actually, it’s Fairfield, Ohio, which is just outside of Cincinnati.” Unfortunately, C.J.’s parents weren’t happy with her “choice” to be a lesbian. They refused to speak about it after C.J. came out to them and pretended they’d never had the conversation. If she brought a woman home she was dating, her parents referred to her as C.J.’s “friend.”

  “Was there ever anyone special that you felt was going to be more than a...” Dani let her voice trail off.

  “A one-night stand?”

  “Sorry. I wasn’t sure how to ask the question.”

  C.J. reached across the table and patted her hand. “It’s okay.” She grew pensive, and Dani didn’t think she was going to answer. After what seemed to be a full minute of silence, C.J. spoke. “Yeah,” she said in a soft voice. “There was one special woman.”

  Dani waited.

  C.J. poked at her salad with her fork. Her face became cloaked in sadness. She took a couple of deep breaths.

  “Sam and I were together for two years. She—” C.J. stopped. “Ah hell.” She threw her fork down and pinched her eyes with her index fingers. When she took her hand away, Dani could tell she was fighting back tears.

  “Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought this up.”

  C.J. blinked her eyes quickly. “You would think I’d be over this by now. It was four years ago.” She took a drink of her water and smiled sadly. “She died when she was twenty-two. Twenty-two. Can you believe it?” C.J. took another drink of water.

  Dani reached for C.J.’s hand and gently squeezed. “I really am sorry.”

  “Me, too.” C.J. took another deep breath and let it out. “Ovarian cancer. But you know what was almost as painful as her death? My parents’ reaction to the whole thing. They couldn’t understand why I was so upset about losing a ‘friend.’ Can you believe it? A friend.” This time, C.J. didn’t win the battle with her tears.

  Dani was unsure of what else to say. Right at that moment, the waiter brought their food. Dani didn’t miss the relief that passed over C.J.’s face. She didn’t seem to want to talk about it anymore as they began eating, so Dani didn’t push.

  “You’re right, Dani.” C.J. held up a piece of steak on her fork. “This is fantastic.”

  “Pretty awesome, huh? Normally, I douse my steak in steak sauce. But this steak? Steak sauce has never touched the steaks they serve here.”

  They passed on dessert when the waiter tried to tempt them with cheesecake.

  Walking out to Dani’s car, C.J. grabbed her hand. “I’ve had a really great time tonight. You were right. We need to get to know each other.”

  Dani drove C.J. to her apartment. C.J. seemed a little surprised when Dani got out and accompanied her up the stairs to her door. Before C.J. unlocked it, Dani leaned in and kissed C.J. softly on the lips. C.J. parted Dani’s lips with her tongue, and the kiss began to intensify, but Dani reined it in.

  “I enjoyed tonight, C.J. I’d like to do this again.”

  “On one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You come to at least one show a week. I want to see you in the audience.”

  “That doesn’t sound like a hardship at all. Deal.” She thought of another question before she left. “I’ve been meaning to ask you this. What does ‘C.J.’ stand for?”

  “You really don’t want to know.”

  “Yeah, I really would.”

  “Carla Jolene.”

  Dani bit her bottom lip and tried not to laugh. She wasn’t very successful.

  C.J. slapped her playfully on the arm. “I told you that you wouldn’t want to know. Now you get why I use C.J.”

  “Sorry. I had this instant vision of a big-haired country singer from the ’60s.”

  “That’s what I saw, too, and decided my career could do without the full name. Hey, not a word to anyone.” She shook her finger at Dani.

  Dani held up three fingers together in a Girl Scout salute. “Scout’s honor.” She leaned in and gave C.J. one more quick kiss. “I need to get home.”

  “Sure I can’t tempt you into coming in?” C.J. had the same mischievous grin that Dani was sure worked on a lot of women. Hell, it had worked on her.

  “No. Frodo awaits.”

  “I need to meet this beagle sometime.”

  “I’d like that. Good night, C.J.” She turned to leave.

  “Good night. I’ll see you this week at Carl’s, right?” C.J. asked as Dani headed down the stairs.

  “I’ll make it there one night.” Dani walked down a few steps then turned back. “Oh, by the way. I flunked out of the Girl Scouts.”

  “You’re such a bitch,” C.J. said as she unlocked the door.

  Dani waved before walking to her car.

  Chapter 10

  “Yes, we’ve actually had real dates.” Dani picked up the cards dealt to her. It was Tuesday night and time for the biweekly poker game.

  Tina shook her head in disbelief. “Man. I thought that woman was incapable of doing anything but—” She stopped when she saw Dani’s face. “But singing at Carl’s.”

  The women around the table laughed. “We’re all grown-ups here, Tina, and we know what you really wanted to say,” Shelly said as she rearranged the cards in her hand.

  “Okay, okay. I know the woman has a reputation,” Dani said. “But we really are trying to get to know each other.” And they were. She and C.J. had been going out now for a few weeks. She made a habit of seeing C.J. perform every Wednesday. Carl had extended C.J.’s run at the Cavern because the artist slated to perform next in the series fell ill.

  Frustrated about the reactions from her friends, Dani thought maybe she was trying to convince he
rself of something that was impossible.

  “Hey, Dani. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Tina’s tone was apologetic.

  “We didn’t either. We’re glad you’re dating,” Shelly said.

  In an obvious attempt to lighten the mood, Tina shouted, “Time to kick y’all’s asses again!”

  “Jesus, Tina, do we have to hear that every poker night?” Dani gave Tina a smile of thanks for changing the subject.

  The evening seemed to fly by as it always did when she was with her friends. She stuck with Cokes for the night. She might be having a couple of beers at Carl’s Cavern the next night and wanted to limit her alcohol intake. She noticed that Monica didn’t seem to be of the same mind about alcohol consumption for the evening. She’d been downing her beers one after another.

  On Monica’s next trip to the kitchen to toss out her empty beer bottle, Barb pulled her aside and leaned in to say something quietly in her ear. Monica shook Barb’s hand off her shoulder. “I walked over here, Barb. I don’t need to be careful.”

  Everyone at the table exchanged worried looks. Monica had broken up with Estelle the week before. Monica told them she had been lugging an antique chair through the front door of her shop when she saw Estelle making out with a woman on the balcony of a nearby hotel. Dani shook her head in anger. She was sure Estelle had planned it so Monica would find out.

  Monica kicked Estelle out the next day. Tina volunteered to go over and “throw Estelle and her shit on the street where they belong,” but Dani had talked her out of saying anything to Monica.

  Dani decided she’d drive Monica home. She motioned Barb over and quietly told her when Monica stumbled down the hall to the bathroom.

  The women counted their chips after the last hand. Tonight, Dani came out on top. “Ha! Ha!” In a nimble move, she jumped on her chair and thrust her arms in the air. “I am the new Queen of Poker!” She pointed at Tina. “And you, madam, shall hand over your fucking trophy.”

  Everyone laughed except for a pouting Tina who sat in her chair with her arms folded against her chest.