More Than a Song

by Chris Paynter

  Liz set her book aside. “How have you been?”

  Dani looked away. Anywhere but at those eyes, she thought. “I’ve been okay. How are things for you?” She kept her attention on the dogs.

  “Good. Things have been good. I saw where C.J. is finishing up this week at Carl’s and headed for Nashville.”

  Dani nodded.

  “How are things between the two of you?”

  “I’m not sure. We haven’t talked in a couple of weeks.”

  “Oh, Dani, I’m sorry to hear that. Are you okay?” Liz touched her arm.

  As always, a feeling of warmth came over Dani. She stared down at her sneakers, but the compassion in Liz’s voice made her turn back to Liz.

  “I think so,” Dani said. “To be honest, I’m not sure.” She paused, gathering her thoughts. “I just feel mixed up. Have you ever felt like that? Where everything seems to be puttering along nicely in your life, then something comes along to send it all off kilter?”

  Liz stiffened beside her. Her expression changed, and a sad smile crept across her lips.

  Wondering if Liz might be thinking about her, Dani felt her face flush. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “It’s okay, Dani. Believe it or not, I know what you’re feeling.” She stared at Melanie and Frodo as they frolicked in front of them.

  “Liz, I—”

  Liz squeezed her arm to interrupt her. “Why don’t we just leave it there?” At that moment, Melanie ran over to sit in front of Liz. Liz reached down and petted Melanie. “We’d better go,” she said in a soft voice. She stood and hooked Melanie’s leash back on her collar.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Dani pushed herself off the bench to stand in front of her.

  “You didn’t. I only wish the best for you, Dani.” Liz walked away in a hurry—almost running.

  Frodo sat down beside Dani. He looked up at her then at Liz and Melanie who were almost at the corner. It was like he was telling her, “Go after her, Mommy. What’s wrong with you?”

  Dani shook her head. “No, buddy. I think I’ve done enough damage.”

  As they began their walk back home, she vaguely wondered if there would ever be a time when Liz Springer would be walking toward her and not away.

  * * *

  Dani taped the small poster that announced a future author reading and signing. The woman was one of Dani’s favorite lesfic romance authors, and Dani looked forward to her visit. She gazed out of the window of the front door for several minutes until Tina interrupted her daydreaming.

  “See anything new out there in Francis?”

  Dani glanced over her shoulder at Tina who was at the counter straightening up postcard announcements.

  “Nope. Still looks the same.”

  “Glad we’re in here, though. The days are starting to get hotter.” Tina stacked the last of the announcements of upcoming events and joined her at the door. She pushed the bill of her cap up, crossed her arms, and rocked back on her heels. “So.”

  Dani waited for more, but Tina seemed ready to outlast her. “So.”

  “You going to make me ask? You haven’t talked about the woman for the past couple of weeks.”

  Dani sighed. “That’s because I haven’t heard from her for the past couple of weeks.”

  “What’s up with that?”

  Dani walked back to the counter and sat on one of the stools. She fiddled with a postcard and tried to convince herself it was the most fascinating information in the history of mankind.

  Tina snatched it from her hands and slapped it back on top of the stack. “Dani?”

  Dani took another breath before telling Tina about the last night she’d spent with C.J. James, including the cold brushoff before Dani left.

  “Damn. What is it with her?”

  “I never told you this because I thought it was C.J.’s business, but C.J. lost a lover to cancer four years ago. She was only twenty-two.”

  Tina let out a low whistle. “That had to be rough, especially with her partner being that young. Well, that explains some things.”

  They remained quiet for a while.

  “I think you’re going to have to talk to her,” Tina said.

  “What?” Dani couldn’t believe that Tina, of all people, was suggesting she talk to C.J.

  “You need to find out where your true feelings lie, and the only way you can do that is to talk to C.J. To get an understanding of where she’s coming from. You can’t just let her leave for Nashville without seeing you again.”

  “She’s had plenty of opportunity to come in here or to call me.”

  “True. But maybe she’s a little embarrassed.”

  Dani gave her a skeptical look.

  Tina threw her hands up. “Hell, I don’t know. I’m grasping at straws. I’d think you’d follow my advice considering how I feel about her. It takes a lot for me to say this shit.”

  Dani chuckled despite the seriousness of the conversation. “I love your way with words.”

  “No one ever accused me of being eloquent. But no one has ever accused me of being dishonest, either.”

  Dani thought back to that night and what preceded the lovemaking. “There’s something I didn’t tell you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “She wrote a song for me.”

  “Wow. Even I have to say that’s pretty romantic. I’ll bite. What’s the name of the song?”

  “‘Dani’s Eyes.’”

  “Definitely romantic.” Tina made a show of leaning over the counter and staring hard at Dani. “I guess they’re worthy of a song.”

  Dani smacked her arm. “Stop.”

  “All right. Yet another reason to swallow your pride and head on over to Carl’s this week before she closes out Saturday night. Look at it this way. It can’t hurt.”

  “I guess not.” The front door’s bell jingled as a customer walked in. That was their cue to stop the personal talk. They greeted the woman with hellos. As she watched the woman head over to the best-selling lesbian romances, Dani made a decision. She’d go see C.J. Wednesday.

  * * *

  Dani pushed through the door to Carl’s Wednesday afternoon when she knew C.J. would be rehearsing.

  “Hey, stranger,” Carl said when he saw her enter. He was moving tables back into place where customers had pushed them together the night before.

  “Hey, Carl.”

  “Get you anything?”

  “Nah. I’m good. Is—”

  “Yeah, C.J.’s here. I think she’s in the back. She should be out shortly.”

  “Do you mind if I take a seat?”

  “Of course not.” He went back to rearranging the tables.

  A few minutes later, C.J., wearing a worn, gray Cincinnati Reds T-shirt and a pair of baggy, red shorts, walked onto stage. She grabbed her guitar and started strumming. She finally saw Dani. Her face registered surprise, which Dani thought she quickly tried to cover. “Hey, Dani.” She set the guitar aside and jumped down from the stage to sit with her.

  They stared at each other, not speaking for a while.

  C.J. said, “I figured I might be the last person you’d want to see, which is why I’ve not called the past couple of weeks.” She ran her fingers through her hair, and each strand magically fell back into place. “I don’t know what to do when someone gets close to me and cracks my shell, you know?”

  Dani let her continue.

  “Which you’ve done a splendid job of by the way.”

  “C.J., you only get so many free passes on this. Using the ‘I don’t know what to do when someone gets close’ excuse only goes so far. It’s not fair.”

  “I never meant to hurt you.”

  “Well, you did.” Dani was surprised at her own honesty, but it felt good to speak her mind.

  “I’ll try, Dani. Just give me a chance, okay?”

  Dani felt the same hesitation grip her body as it had before. C.J. interrupted her thoughts.

  “I’m leaving for Nashville Saturday
after the show. Come with me.”

  Dani sat back in her chair. She wasn’t expecting this. “C.J., I—”

  “Please hear me out. I need to get up there and find a place to stay. It looks like I’ll be there for a year or so. The good thing is, I have these songs ready to go. They’ve already said they’re going to release one cut to the alternative rock stations just to get some interest going. You know, one of those, ‘here’s blah, blah, blah from C.J. James’s debut album that will be in the stores on—’” C.J. held up her hands dramatically and made quotation marks in the air with her fingers. “Insert the date.”

  Dani laughed nervously. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” She paused. “But you’ll have your hands full cutting that album. They’ll have you performing around Nashville, too. I just know it.”

  “That doesn’t mean that I don’t want you there with me.”

  Dani hesitated as she thought of another excuse. “Besides that, the summer is our busiest time of the year. I can’t go off and leave Tina with the store all by herself.”

  It was C.J.’s turn to lean back in her chair. “Okay, okay. I get the picture.” She sat forward again suddenly. “At least come up for a weekend. You can do that, can’t you?”

  Dani thought about it. She tried to remember what she had going on in the coming weeks.

  “I may be able to come in July. Let me check the calendar at the office.”

  “July?” C.J. asked, clearly disappointed.

  “I’m sorry. That’s the best I can do. I have a business to run.”

  “Okay. As long as I get to have time with you, that’s cool with me.” C.J. rapped her knuckles on the table. “Well, I need to rehearse for tonight. You’re welcome to stay and listen.”

  Dani stood up. “I should get back to the store. Tina needs a break.”

  C.J. came around the table to give Dani a hug. It was the warmest embrace she’d ever given Dani.

  “See you tonight? I mean, you’ll be here tonight, right?” C.J. looked like she was ready to pounce on Dani if she said no.

  “We have extended hours tonight and tomorrow night at the store, but I’ll be here Friday and Saturday.”

  C.J. smiled. “Great. That sounds great.” She hugged Dani again before Dani left the bar.

  Chapter 14

  Liz plopped down at the picnic table across from her sister Laurie. They were enjoying a family barbeque. The men congregated around the grill like some sort of throwback to the days of the cavemen. Her nieces and nephews—all five of them—ran around the spacious backyard in a weird alternative baseball game. Liz was still trying to figure it out when Lacey sat down next to her.

  Liz motioned at the kids. “What are they doing?”

  “Oh that? It’s a game my Tucker made up,” Laurie said. “It’s called ‘ballbase.’”

  “Ballbase?”

  “Yeah. Watch them. They hit the whiffle ball and run in the opposite direction. Third base is now first and first is third.”

  So far, in the few minutes Liz had watched the kids, only the three boys were the ones pitching and hitting. The two girls were relegated to the field.

  “Why are Tucker, Tanner, and Eric the only ones allowed to hit and pitch?”

  “Why do you think?” Laurie said. When Liz didn’t answer fast enough, Lacey cut in.

  “Because they’re boys, silly.”

  “Please tell me you don’t agree with that. I’ve seen plenty of girls hit the snot out of the ball when I played softball in high school.”

  Lacey crunched down on a potato chip. “Nah. I don’t agree with it. This is called keeping the peace.”

  “And you’re okay with your two girls being shoved out into the outfield.” Liz glanced over at them. Lacey’s youngest, six-year-old Linda, tugged her cap down lower over her eyes and stuck her tongue out as the ball was hit to her. She was about to catch it when Tucker ran over from the “pitcher’s mound” and cut in front of her to catch the ball. “Look at that. They won’t even let them catch the ball.” She pointed emphatically at the kids. “That is why I never play co-ed softball. Guys are impossible to play with. They let their egos lead them around.”

  Laurie shrugged. “At least it’s better than something else leading them around.”

  Lacey snorted out her drink of Pepsi. “So, so true. As is unfortunately the case the older they get.”

  “God, I’m so glad I’m a lesbian,” Liz said.

  Laurie, who, along with Lacey, favored their father with her blonde hair and blue eyes, got a dreamy look on her face. “I might even take a trip to the dark side for that singer at Carl’s.”

  Liz sputtered on her iced tea. Lacey patted her back. “You okay there, baby sis?”

  Liz dabbed at her mouth with her napkin. She glared at Laurie. “Don’t go saying stuff like that when my mouth is full of liquid.”

  “Have you seen her? I know you don’t go out much, but daaamn.” Laurie fanned her face. “I went with my best friend one night to see what all the fuss was about.” She leaned in closer and said in a hushed tone, “I think all the women in there were creaming in their jeans.”

  Lacey hooted and pointed at Liz. “Oh, my God. I wish you could see your face.”

  Liz’s cheeks heated up even more. Not only did she not want to have this conversation about C.J. James, she especially didn’t want to have it with her two straight sisters.

  “I went once,” she muttered.

  “And?” Laurie asked. “Damn, Liz. You had to think she was hot.”

  “Yes, she’s attractive, but she also reminds me of my ex. If you remember, that’s not a good thing.” Liz thought of Dani Roberts. “Besides...”

  Her sisters waited for her to continue. Lacey smacked her arm. “Besides what?”

  “She’s seeing a client of mine.” Liz pushed the condensation off her glass of iced tea. “I can’t help but think Dani might get her heart broken.”

  “Dani?” Lacey asked.

  “My client. Dani Roberts. She owns the lesbian-feminist bookstore in town.”

  “Oh, yeah. I’ve actually gone in there to check it out before,” Lacey said. “She has a nice selection of kids’ books, too. There’s a whole separate children’s section. I think it’s cool she doesn’t just cater to the LG... LGB...”

  Liz came to her rescue. “LGBTQ.”

  “Good Lord, I don’t know how y’all remember that.”

  “Why are you so worried about this Dani? Isn’t she a big girl?” Laurie said. She grinned. “Besides, like I said, I can see the attraction to taking a ride on the C.J. James train.”

  Liz’s mouth dropped open. “Have you been turned into one of those pod people?” She made a show at staring up at the sky. “I don’t see the mother ship, but it can always be hovering nearby.”

  “Pod people?”

  “You know? From Invasion of the Body Snatchers? You’re an alien, aren’t you? Who’s replaced my real sister?”

  “Very funny. What can I say? I’ve been streaming The L Word. It’s rather fascinating. Besides, it looks like y’all have way better sex than we do.”

  Lacey burst out laughing. “Amen, sister!” She high-fived Laurie over the table.

  After their cackling subsided to a few snickers, Laurie said, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you like Dani.”

  “What?” Liz stiffened. “What makes you say that?”

  Lacey pointed at her. “For one, you’ve got that far-away look in your eyes like when you were mooning over Molly Ann Franklin in high school. You followed her around like a lost puppy for almost a year.”

  Liz stabbed at her ice with her straw. “So? That doesn’t mean anything.”

  Liz didn’t miss the exchanged glance Laurie and Lacey shared. “Hey, it’s okay, Liz,” Laurie said as she squeezed Liz’s arm. “Don’t you think it’s time you at least got out there again?”

  “If by ‘out there,’ you mean dating, I’ll get out there when I damn well please.” She was still stabbing at
her ice when a silence settled over the table. Her sisters wouldn’t meet her eyes. “What?” A sudden dread hit her stomach. “Oh, no. Please don’t tell me you’re trying to set me up with someone.”

  “Welll...” Lacey tipped her head back and forth. “It’s not us.”

  “Then who?” Liz snapped. Their mother’s voice cut into their conversation.

  “You girls. Always hiding away, gossiping.” Ginny, their mother, was heading toward their table, but she wasn’t alone. A tall woman with short blonde hair accompanied her. If the muscles in her legs were any indication, she looked like an athlete, maybe a runner.

  As soon as they reached the picnic table, Lacey and Laurie popped up like bobbers in a lake after a bite from a big bass.

  “We’re going over to talk to the men,” Lacey said.

  “Yeah, I think they need some help on those burgers.” As they walked away, now behind Ginny and the woman, Laurie pointed at the woman and gave a thumbs-up. Liz glared at her.

  “Liz, honey, this is Michelle Richards. She just moved into the Coopers’ old place down the street. She’s from Atlanta and hasn’t made a lot of friends yet.”

  So, you thought you’d introduce her to your lesbian daughter to welcome her into the gayborhood. Liz loved her mother, but sometimes... She realized she hadn’t said anything. She rose halfway off the bench and held out her hand.

  “Hi, it’s nice to meet you, Michelle.”

  With that, Ginny made her move. “I’ll let you girls get acquainted.” As she left, she, too, offered encouragement by way of an inclination of her head toward Michelle and a wink.

  I’m going to kill her. After I kill her, I’m going to kill my sisters. It’ll just leave me and Dad, but hey, we can make do. I’ll even help raise the kids. Michelle’s voice cut in to her murderous thoughts.

  “Something tells me you had no clue I’d be here,” Michelle said with a sheepish grin as she sat across from Liz.

  Liz was about to lie but decided for honesty. “No clue.”

  “Look, if it makes you uncomfortable, I can mosey back to my house. I have a frozen dinner I can pop into the microwave.” Michelle’s blue eyes twinkled in the sunlight. “But I have to say, those burgers sure do smell wonderful.”