More Than a Song

by Chris Paynter

  C.J. walked out with a big grin that showed off her dimples. She was dressed in skin-tight, black leather pants and a royal-blue shirt that shimmered in the spotlight, unbuttoned to show a lot of cleavage. The shirt brought out the blue in her eyes even more. She ran her fingers through her hair in what Dani now recognized was a nervous gesture. The hair again lay down as perfectly as if a hairdresser did a comb-through.

  God, she looks great. Dani was mesmerized as if seeing her for the first time. She heard someone talking at their table but wasn’t sure who was speaking until Brenda tapped her knee.

  “You sure know how to pick ’em.” Brenda’s dark eyes twinkled in the light from the candle sitting in the middle of the table.

  Three band members dressed in various degrees of disheveled clothing walked onto the stage behind C.J. Dani hadn’t noticed until now that there were a set of drums, a bass, and a set of other electric guitars lined up on stage. C.J.’s acoustic guitars were also there.

  To Dani’s surprise, C.J. grabbed one of the electric guitars. She picked up her green glass pill bottle off the stool set up in the back of the stage.

  “How y’all doin’ tonight?” she shouted. “I learned to say ‘y’all’ down in a little town just outside of Atlanta that I’m sure a few of you ladies know about.”

  Someone shouted out, “Francis!”

  “See? I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed.” C.J. adjusted the guitar strap. “If anyone saw me perform down there, you can see that I’ve gained a few musicians since then.” She motioned to the guys behind her. “I never had the opportunity to play the way I’m going to play for you tonight. Not until I met up with these boys. But let’s get started with some blues.”

  The place erupted in cheers. A few of the women stood up and whistled. C.J. placed the pill bottle on her left middle finger. She turned to the band. “One, two. A one, two, three and...” With that, she ripped into a hard and mean introduction to one of her songs, letting her finger with the pill bottle slide sensually across the neck of the guitar. It sounded completely different without the acoustic guitar and with the band. But damn, it was hot. No, it was better than hot. It was perfect.

  The crowd roared their approval. C.J. grinned and continued to play. When she started singing, Dani again was lost.

  Dani glanced at the women at their table. They were all clapping in time with the beat. C.J. played a few more hard blues tunes then switched over to her twelve-string acoustic guitar. The guys in the band strolled off the stage as C.J. pulled up the stool and sat down. She adjusted the mic to mouth level.

  “Let’s slow it down a little, shall we?” she said in her, low throaty voice. She started in on the song. A woman screamed in the back. “You like this, huh?” C.J. flashed her trademark smile and deep dimples. With the music drifting over the speakers to the far reaches of the club, Dani could almost feel the crowd release a collective sigh.

  C.J. ran through five acoustic songs. The band eventually made it back on stage, and C.J. grabbed the electric guitar again.

  “I’m going to do something different for you tonight, if you don’t mind. I’d like to do a couple of cover songs of one of my idols. How does some Bonnie Raitt sound?” Everyone clapped in approval. She sang “Something to Talk About” and “Thing Called Love.” After that, she immediately went into another of her own blues compositions. You could definitely hear Raitt’s influence in C.J.’s music. While she played some of the solo sections of the songs with the spotlight focused solely on her, Dani watched the women at the front tables. Their enraptured expressions said everything.

  When C.J. finished her last song and walked off the stage, the crowd rose to their feet in one motion. They clapped in unison until she came back out. She picked up her twelve-string acoustic and settled onto her stool.

  “Thank you so much. Every crowd has been fantastic to me since I started playing here at Mickey’s. Y’all are the best.” Cheers greeted this last statement. She strummed the guitar a few times. “I want to finish tonight’s show with a recent composition of mine. It’ll be the first release from my debut album with Different Drummer. You should be hearing it soon on your alternative rock stations.” C.J. grinned. “I like saying that—‘alternative rock.’ This is a special song to me. I hope you like it, too.” She played the opening chords of the song. “It’s called ‘Dani’s Eyes.’”

  Dani felt Brenda’s gaze, but she didn’t shift her attention from the stage. She tried not to show emotion, not wanting any of the others to make the connection between her and the song.

  When C.J. sang the last two lines, “What I’d lost had been found in Dani’s eyes. Yes, what I’d lost had been found in Dani’s eyes,” the same thing happened here that happened at Carl’s Cavern. The crowd sat in stunned silence. Then one by one, everyone rose to their feet, cheering and clapping. The sound was even more deafening here because of the size of the audience.

  C.J. stood and gave a bow. “You’ve been great. Thank you so much. Thank you.” She walked off and came back out for one last bow when Mickey called her onto the stage. Then she was gone.

  Most started for the exits, but she noticed some of the women stayed close to the stage as if anticipating C.J. reappearing after freshening up.

  “You’re going backstage, right?” Brenda asked. It was more of a statement, though.

  “I was going to try, but—”

  “Try hell! We’ll get you back there.”

  Brenda headed in the direction of the backstage area. A group of about ten women still lingered, excitedly talking about C.J. James in loud whispers. Two beefy bouncers guarded the hallway that must lead to the backstage area.

  “Brenda, I don’t—”

  Brenda grabbed her arm and pulled her off to the side. “Look, I’m going to cause a scene.” She kept her attention on the bouncers.

  Dani almost started laughing.

  “Stop it,” Brenda hissed. “I’m serious. That’s the only way you’re going to get near her dressing room. Do you honestly think if you say, ‘C.J.’s my girlfriend,’ they’ll believe you?”

  “Okay,” Dani reluctantly agreed. “But don’t get yourself arrested, okay?”

  Brenda patted her on the arm with a “watch this” look on her face. She staggered up to the front of the group of women. She then did a believable impression of a falling down drunk determined to see the “star.”

  When the bouncers converged on Brenda, Dani slipped past the group of women who also had turned their attention to Brenda. Dani wasn’t exactly sure where to go as she walked down the dark hallway. She spotted a large star on a door. Can it be that simple? She tapped on the door. She heard some muffled voices on the other side. Eventually, she heard C.J. say, “Yeah?”

  Dani put her hand on the doorknob and slowly opened the door. She poked her head inside... and immediately felt sick to her stomach.

  C.J. fumbled with the buttons of her shirt with one hand while trying to pull her leather pants up with the other. Sitting on the dressing room table was a curvy blonde who either had a fake ID to get into the place or had just turned twenty-one. Dani was opting for the fake ID. She had a hard time focusing on her face, though, because she was bare breasted and only wearing a thong. Dani’s brain was trying to figure out why she even bothered to wear the damn thing.

  “Dani. You’re here.” C.J.’s voice brought Dani out of her fog. She turned back to C.J. who by now had gotten her clothes in order. The blonde jumped off the table and haphazardly dressed. She didn’t even bother to put on her bra but pulled her shirt back on and quickly donned her jeans.

  “Don’t leave on my account,” Dani said. The blonde brushed past her as she stood in the doorway.

  “Dani, look—”

  Dani cut her off. “I swear to God, C.J., if you’re about to say, ‘Look, I can explain,’ just don’t.” Dani held up her hand like she was fending off a blow.

  “I didn’t know you’d be here this soon. You didn’t call to tell me you were com
ing in.”

  Dani tried to let that logic settle in her brain. “So, what you’re saying is, you needed advanced warning in case I caught you in the act?” Dani was so angry she felt tears prick the back of her eyes. Fuck. She wasn’t going to cry. Not here. Not in front of C.J. James.

  “Dani, I—”

  Dani didn’t want to hear anymore. She wanted to be anywhere but where she was standing at that moment in time. She made a move to leave. C.J. grabbed her arm.

  Dani turned back to her and saw C.J.’s tears. It’s a little late for that, Dani thought. Small, bright lights danced in front of her eyes. She felt like she was going to faint. She could only think to say, “And you sang that song. I can’t believe you sang that song. God, C.J., all along, I wondered why I couldn’t give in and trust you. Well, this is why.” She yanked away from C.J.’s grasp. Before she left, she had one thing more to say. “Do me a favor and change the name of the song. I don’t want my name associated with it.” She stumbled down the hall.

  “Dani, wait.”

  C.J.’s footsteps fell closely behind her. Dani quickened her pace.

  When she made it back out to the bouncers and the group of women, Dani saw that one of the bouncers had Brenda by the arm and was leading her toward the exit. Dani pushed her way through the women and past the other bouncer who looked surprised when he saw Dani emerge from backstage.

  C.J. still yelled for her but the screams of the women gathered there drowned her out.

  “Oh, C.J., I love your music! Can you please autograph my T-shirt?” one woman shouted.

  Dani kept walking. She didn’t know how she was putting one foot in front of the other, but she was. Eventually, she caught up with Brenda outside the club. Brenda had just hailed a cab. When she opened the door to get inside, she looked shocked to find Dani right behind her.

  Dani leaned back on the seat and closed her eyes as her head pounded like a kettle drum.

  “Oh, honey, what happened?” Brenda asked.

  Dani shook her head. She couldn’t even look at Brenda. If she did, she’d lose it.

  Brenda told the taxi driver, “If you get us there in ten minutes, you’ll get an extra twenty.” With that, the driver punched the cab into a breakneck speed. Horns blared around them, followed by the sound of squealing tires.

  When they pulled up to the Marriott, Brenda handed over the money. She caught up to Dani who was stalking through the lobby to the elevator. Brenda linked her arm with Dani’s. “You’re not going to be alone tonight. You’re coming to my room.” Brenda saw the expression on Dani’s face. “Not for that.” Brenda punched the number to her floor once they entered the elevator. “I’ve got a bottle of Chivas Regal. We’re going to drink that baby until it’s gone.”

  Dani didn’t even have the strength to argue that it was too expensive to drown her sorrows in—she didn’t have the strength for anything.

  They reached Brenda’s room. She slid her key card into the slot, opened the door, and flipped on the lights. She motioned Dani to one of the chairs by the bed. “You sit there. I’ll run and get some ice.”

  Brenda wasn’t gone for a full minute before she was dropping ice cubes into two glasses. She opened the bottle of Scotch and poured until it reached the lip of each glass. Brenda handed one to Dani.

  “Drink. I don’t want any argument.”

  Dani downed the glass in three big gulps. Even though the Scotch was incredibly smooth and unlike anything Dani ever tasted, it still burned her throat. Brenda poured her another. Dani downed it again. When Brenda poured her the next drink, Dani didn’t down it, but stared at the ice floating in the crystal. She couldn’t get the image of the blonde out of her head no matter how hard she tried. And the look on C.J.’s face...

  “What happened?” Brenda sat down on the end of the bed in front of Dani’s chair. She watched Dani closely over the rim of the glass.

  Dani sighed deeply. She took another drink. “Let’s just say that I sure as hell surprised her.” She gave a hollow laugh.

  “Oh, honey.” Brenda reached out and patted her on the knee. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m sorry I was such a pushover. I fell for her act. I feel so fucking foolish.” She took another big gulp of the Scotch and shook her head. “Maybe it says something that I’m not a blubbering mess. I’m just so angry. I actually thought I was going to faint in that dressing room.”

  Brenda let her vent. Dani rose up and sat down on the bed with her back against the headboard. Brenda joined her.

  “The really sad thing, Brenda, is I held back and held back, afraid something like this would happen. Something told me to do that. My instincts were that she was dangerous. That she was incapable of monogamy. Hell, I saw how other women were around her. But then we shared these intimate moments, and I allowed myself to think that maybe I could trust her.”

  Brenda motioned where Dani had left her glass on the table. “You done?”

  “Yeah.”

  Brenda dropped more ice in her glass, poured a splash of Scotch, and rejoined Dani on the bed. “I won’t say, ‘she’s not worth it’ because I’ve had friends say that to me before, and I’ve always wanted to slap the shit out of them.”

  Dani smiled through her sadness. She remembered saying that exact thing to Monica and recalled Monica’s reaction to her words.

  “But what I will say is you’re a wonderful woman, Dani Roberts. You will love someone, and they will love you. And all this other bullshit?” Brenda threw her hand up in the air in dismissal. “All this other bullshit won’t matter.”

  Suddenly, Liz’s beautiful face and haunting eyes appeared in Dani’s mind like a still shot from a movie. “There’s a woman back home.”

  “Dani, you can’t leave an opening line like that hanging. Tell me.”

  “Her name is Liz Springer. She’s a vet. I first met her when Frodo’s regular vet couldn’t see him. I’ve run into her a couple of other times. We’ve talked.” She shook her head. “Never mind. I think I totally fucked that one up. I could blame it on C.J. James, but it’s all on me. I’m the one who tried to trap lightning in a bottle. We saw how that turned out.”

  “Forget about that. I’m a hopeless romantic. Tell me more.”

  So, Dani did just that. She told Brenda how she felt when she was around Liz, how the feeling of comfort would wash over her, how she felt a warmth whenever they’d touch, innocent or not.

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “I swear to God you need to have someone smack you upside the head.”

  Dani snorted. “Trust me. My best friend, Tina, would gladly volunteer for that job. She never liked C.J. James, and she’s pushed me to go after Liz. But I was blinded by C.J.’s charisma. That’s on me.”

  “Is that what they’re calling it these days? I’m a little more blunt. It’s called sex appeal. That woman’s definitely got it. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know when to turn it off.” Brenda stood up, retrieved Dani’s glass, and filled it with more Scotch, obviously ignoring Dani’s earlier comment that she was done. She handed the glass to Dani. “Now drink the rest of this shit. I don’t want to waste it.”

  Dani took a long sip. “Let me say that this definitely fogs the brain enough to dull the ache a little.”

  “It does, doesn’t it? Trust me, Chivas and I have partied many a night, and he’s always respected me in the morning.”

  Dani couldn’t help but laugh. “You such a good friend, Brenda.”

  “You’re only saying that because I sold you that book for way less than it was worth.”

  “That’s it, huh?”

  “That’s it.”

  They sat and drank until the Scotch was gone. Brenda gave Dani more encouragement to go after Liz when she got back home, even providing pointers on how to break the ice. She talked about old lovers she had shared her bed with over the years. Dani listened until her head felt heavy. The room was finally quiet. Dani swung her legs over the bed. Everything started spinning in
front of her. She lay back on the pillow and rubbed her forehead with her fingers.

  “Dani, why don’t you stay here tonight instead of trying to make it back to your room?”

  Dani attempted to get a reading of the digital clock: 2:00 a.m. She didn’t put up any resistance as Brenda helped her out of her clothes, gently laid her back down, and pulled the covers over her.

  “You sleep,” Brenda whispered and switched off the lamp beside the bed.

  Dani heard Brenda get settled in the other queen bed. Then she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 18

  As they battled through their respective hangovers, Brenda talked Dani into staying at least for the morning sessions of the conference on Saturday. “I want you to clear your mind some before taking the drive to Francis. Focusing on something other than C.J. James might help.”

  At the noon break for lunch, Dani headed to the lobby with Brenda. “Guess I’ll be on my way,” Dani said.

  “Are you sure? I’m worried about you.”

  Dani pulled Brenda in for a hug. “I’ll be fine. I want to get back home.” She gave her a tight squeeze. “I’ll never be able to repay you for last night,” she whispered into Brenda’s ear.

  “If I had a dollar for every time a woman told me that in the morning, I’d be one rich lady.”

  Dani laughed. “You’re so good for me. Please tell me you’ll come to Georgia in the fall when the summer heat breaks.”