Kingdom of Ash and Soot

by C. S. Johnson

  “Wine?” I asked, and she nodded.

  Her hand tightened around mine.

  “He said it was from the Cabal.”

  I felt my heart drop and my breath catch in my throat. Was it possible ... Mr. Clavan and Eliezer, all of them ... was it possible they were working for the enemy? Was it possible they were the enemy?

  Or were they in as much danger as we were?

  Tulia pinched my palms. “He smashed the bottle, attacked me, and started the fire.”

  I nodded again, before squeezing her hand. “I’m so glad you are safe,” I said. “You are my family, and you always have been.”

  She smiled, and at that moment—as the plans were being made and the tasks were being assigned, as Lady POW and Harshad argued while Amir injected logic into the conversation, as Ben and I exchanged worried glances and Tulia fell back asleep—I resolved to protect the ones I loved, no matter what I had to do.

  *22*

  ◊

  While I was determined to do whatever I had to do to protect my friends and family, I was faced with any number of impossible challenges. As the Advent Ball crept closer, I was certain I would go mad before it was all over.

  The first problem I ran into was Ferdy.

  Or rather, I thought bitterly, the problem was that I was not able to run into him.

  In keeping with my earlier excuse, Lady Penelope made it known throughout all of Europe I would be attending the ball, but I had to rest up if I was going to be able to dance and enjoy myself. I had an enormous pile of cards come to the house wishing me well, and little notes from different ladies and gentlemen, all ranging from friendly to flirty.

  I was stuck at the manor, unable to escape the house. There was no way I could go and warn him. The whole world seemed to conspire against me, because even when I sent Ben out on his own investigations, he was unable to find Ferdy.

  “Even Clavan and the others at the Cabal have not seen him this week,” Ben said when I came around the morning before the Ball. He handed me my note, the one I had written days before. The paper was still carefully folded, as though my prayers for its protection were so effective it had failed to be delivered.

  “You went there?” I asked carefully. “To the Cabal, I mean?”

  “Yes.” Ben shrugged. “Jarl and Faye are there most nights, and they are able to answer some of my questions. I never ask them directly or tell them why I want to know. They are closer to my age so I think they think I am there to be their friend more than I am trying to get them to be my source.”

  “What about the wine from them? The one that Tulia’s attacker used to get her to open the door?” I asked.

  “It was obviously a ruse, Nora,” Ben said. “Do you really think they are part of the plan to free the country from the Emperor?”

  I thought about what Clavan had told me before, about how freedom was found in the struggle. “I ... don’t know what to think,” I admitted.

  “But you’re ready to leave Karl Marcelin out of everything, but Ferdy and his friends are not above suspicion?” Ben asked.

  His words cut into me as I realized he was right.

  “You’re right,” I said. “I don’t know what is wrong with me.”

  “Tulia’s going to be fine,” Ben said. The look in his blue-green eyes softened, and I was briefly reminded of our father as he reached out and patted my shoulder. “You have a soft heart, Nora. If I worry for you, it is only because that’s something that can be easily bruised. That’s why I was worried about Ferdy, and that’s honestly why I am worried about Karl.”

  “You think he is innocent, too?”

  “Not exactly.” Ben crossed his arms over his chest. “I meant more how I worry that you like him more than you might want to admit.”

  I felt myself flush. “I don’t like him. At least, not the way I like Ferdy.”

  It was a rare moment of vulnerability as I admitted I cared for Ferdy to my brother. Of all people in the world, I loved Ben the most, and I did not want to face a world where I would have to choose between him and someone else.

  “That’s fine,” Ben said briskly. “And that’s even more cause for worry for me, frankly. I know you like Ferdy. He’s fun and exciting and immensely distracting. He can tell a story that will make you forget about everything else, and he can argue with you until you are mad with rage. All while he just sits there, laughing at you. Or,” Ben added thoughtfully, “he gets his friends to.”

  I might have smiled at the reference to Ben’s own experience with Ferdy’s friends and their collective craftiness, but I had a feeling more was coming. “But?”

  “But it is hard to say if there is anything meaningful about him,” Ben said. “Is Ferdy serious about anything? If not, he’s not someone who would make you a good match in the long run. At least, not from what I have seen.”

  I said nothing, wondering if Ben was right.

  I thought about why I liked Ferdy. He had rescued me from Amir before, that was true. Ferdy was sweet and goodhearted, even if he was too much of a jokester sometimes. He was clearly able to support himself, or at least enough he could rely on Clavan to open a tab for him, so he was clever as well as charming.

  And he claimed me as his, even if I had yet to give him permission to do so.

  Karl would never have charmed a kiss out of me, or called me out on my own secrets.

  Karl might as well have been Ferdy’s polar opposite. He was still charming, but he was dignified and intelligent, passionate about making the future a better place, fighting to get what he wanted.

  “When you danced with Karl,” Ben said, “and I saw you talk with him, I thought you might like him. He is someone you would have been able to meet properly, if our parents had lived. He would have been the kind of man you would marry, if our lives had been different.”

  I did not know what to say. Ben, as always, had solid reasoning. He was right on so many things.

  Sighing, I crumbled up the note I had written, the one I had written warning Ferdy to stay away from the Advent Ball.

  “I still do not want Ferdy to get hurt,” I insisted. “If Karl is trying to kill everyone between himself and the throne, he will have to find a way to survive the party. I don’t want Ferdy caught up in that.”

  “And if Lord Maximillian is the one behind everything, as you’d prefer,” Ben said, teasing me some, “he will find a way to protect Karl.”

  “Exactly. Karl is safe no matter what. I need to make sure Ferdy is, too.” I leaned against the wall behind me. “We only have hours left before the Ball.”

  “Once we arrive, I promise I will go and find Ferdy and tell him,” Ben said. “If that will make you feel better, ségra.”

  I reached out and embraced him, letting myself breathe in his warm strength like a tonic.

  “Thank you,” I whispered into his shoulder. “It would make me feel better. It seems I have done nothing this week but pace through the manor. I can’t sleep well, or for very long, thinking about it. Even Cecilia’s part of the house has gone quiet by the sound of it.”

  “I’m surprised Lady POW did not make you work on something,” Ben said.

  I scowled. “She said I should learn how to wait. Can you believe that? Amir lets me help him tend to Tulia’s wounds, and that is the only reprieve I have had from worrying for the last several days.”

  “You mean talking with me is not enough to ease your mind?” Ben gave me a grin. “It will be all right, Nora. Or maybe I should call you Ella, since Ferdy and Karl both refer to you as such?”

  I shook my head. “I will always be Nora to you,” I said. “No matter what happens.”

  “We will see,” Ben said. “You can’t stop some things from changing.”

  “Yes, you can,” I argued. “And even if you’re right, there’s no need to change how we react to it.”

  “Well, your resolve relieves me,” Ben said, patting my shoulder, “as it always has.”

  He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead,
much like Táta used to do. “Be safe tonight. I have faith in you, but don’t take any unnecessary risks if you don’t have to.”

  “You, too.” I gave him a brave smile. As he walked away, heading to his room to change for the night, I found that his faith in me gave me peace.

  I clasped my hands together, as though I was trying to hold onto that moment and that feeling, letting it submerge me in its comfort. “Thank you, Lord.”

  As if he had granted my prayer, I felt the fullness of that moment settle on me. Even as I slid into my stealth habit, even as Jaqueline, Amelia, and Marguerite sewed my gown on top of it; the scarlet silk was just dark enough to hide the black suit underneath, and it was loose enough I could move easily. Several ruffles and an elaborate sash of ribbon hid the seam at the side, the one I could easily rip if I needed to make a quick wardrobe change. Jaqueline instructed me carefully on how to slip out of my stays, and I went over it twice, just to make sure I was ready.

  Even as my hair was curled and piled onto my head; even as I faced myself in the mirror, getting one last look of myself before we disembarked, I knew I was going into battle, and I knew I would face it with resolve. My blue eyes were clear, and I swore I could almost see my mother looking back at me and through me.

  “You look beautiful, Eleanora.”

  I turned away from the mirror to see Lady Penelope behind me. She was dressed in resplendent holiday colors, with fur lining her gown layers and her neckline.

  “Not Eleanor?” I asked, only teasing her slightly.

  She shook her head. “No.”

  I felt a twinge of guilt at her saddened expression. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “We are family.” Lady Penelope stepped closer to me. Her tone was brusque, but I knew from the look in her eyes she was still concerned for me. “And as such, the pains and pleasures we give each other will always be interconnected. Besides, it is much better to remember Eleanor than to allow her memory to slip into the darkness.”

  I nodded. “You are right.”

  “Of course I am.” She gave me one of her haughty smiles, and I gave her one right back.

  “I am not just Dezda’s daughter,” I said, remembering what Amir had said before. “I’m your granddaughter, too.”

  “Which is why I have two things for you tonight,” Lady Penelope said. She came over to me and held out her hands.

  Inside of her outstretched palms sat a dagger, sheathed in black leather.

  “This is the first,” she said, while I just stared at it, my eyes wide with reverence and disbelief. “I think you have earned the right to carry it.”

  “Really?” I asked, reaching for it.

  “Well, not entirely. I still have to insist that Harshad will instruct you. After tonight, we will have more time to devote to such matters.”

  I did not trust myself to say anything. I was upset Harshad had to be forced to do what I saw as largely his job, but I had been waiting for this moment, the moment I would gain the right to bear my mother’s weapon and legacy. I was overjoyed and fearful, eager to please and terrified to fail. My inner mix of emotions only settled as I took the dagger from Lady Penelope. I pulled it out of its snug pocket, allowing the violet blade to shimmer in the evening light.

  “Honesty is better than lying in matters such as this,” Lady Penelope said. “You don’t know how to use it, I might remind you. And you know this, too. You would not believe me if I said you were ready for it. But you are ready to embrace the responsibilities of the Order of the Crystal Daggers.”

  I curled my fingers around the hilt, the old weapon full of ancient strength, tense with passion from its previous wielders.

  “If there comes a time tonight,” Lady Penelope said, “where you must reveal yourself and the Order, the King will recognize this as a symbol of your authority.”

  “He will?” I asked.

  Lady Penelope nodded. “We do not reveal ourselves unless the situation calls for it, when death or defeat are the only other options.”

  I studied the blade again, testing it in my handling. I believed in destiny; I believed in God, and I knew he had his plans for me. At that moment, it struck me as odd how right this seemed, to be here, standing on a precipice, standing before a moment when I had the chance to do something greater than I could have ever imagined. It was humbling and awing, and I was floored with the tension between looking up in faith and glancing down in fear.

  Lady Penelope watched while I looked at my eyes as they reflected darkly in the blade.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “You should know this is your mother’s dagger,” she said. “I have carried it beside mine all these years, since she resigned her position. It is not something I would pass to you lightly, but I welcome the chance to share her legacy with you.”

  I felt my throat clog as I tried to imagine my mother holding her dagger for the first time. I could see her rising to the challenge, sharing her adventures with Amir by her side, looking for approval from her mother with fiery determination.

  “Which is why you must listen carefully now,” Lady Penelope said. “As the following information is the most important thing for a lady in the Order to know.”

  “What is it?” I asked, eager to hear.

  “Eleanora, when you fall in love with someone,” Lady Penelope began, “it is important that you do not lose your head in the process of letting go of your heart.”

  I nodded. “I think I can remember that.”

  “That’s not it,” Lady Penelope said. “I’m telling you that when you decide to have sexual intercourse, you must remember to indulge in it according to your monthly courses.”

  “What?” My voice squeaked.

  “This is the rule of twos. You can have as much sex as you want in the two weeks following your period, but you cannot have sex in the two weeks before your period. If you have sex two weeks before your period, you can get pregnant.” She arched her brow at me, intently staring into my soul, as though instilling inside of me a permanent sense of discomfort. “Do you understand this?”

  My voice was gone. I only nodded.

  “Good. When was the last time you had your period?”

  At her intrusive question, I balked. “I’m not going to have sex tonight,” I sputtered. “There’s no reason to ask that.”

  “I have plenty of reasons,” Lady Penelope snorted. “The Order is sworn to serve the truth and protect the innocent. That includes our children. I would hate to have you live up to family’s reputation in this matter.”

  “This matter?”

  She grimaced, realizing her mistake. “Never mind,” she said. “But you should start keeping track of your period. We can’t afford any slip ups.”

  Lady Penelope turned and walked away as another round of questions came rushing up from inside of me.

  “What do you mean by family reputation?” I asked. “Did you—”

  Lady Penelope glared at me. “That’s enough on the subject. Amir and I do not wish to discuss such things. Now, finish getting ready and hurry downstairs. We need to make sure we arrive early tonight. We will need the extra time to secure the castle.”

  She shut the door to my room hard enough that the dagger in my hand quivered, and I sighed.

  Was that the reason my mother had resigned from the Order? That did not make sense; at least, not to me. Lady POW had not known about me or Ben before she came here. Was it possible she was talking about herself? Had my mother been an “unnecessary surprise?”

  And why mention Amir? I stared back down at the dagger. I could only wonder for now.

  There were other things that needed to be done.

  Tucking the dagger into the hidden pockets under my gown, allowing the sheath to sit around my stealth habit, I felt an old sense of comfort.

  It seemed that I was used to the stress of fulfilling my intended role at parties, I thought with a smirk. As much as that was true, I was glad to be armed with more
than my wit and beauty this time.

  *23*

  ◊

  The crystal dagger was a gift that seemed to christen the night, giving me a supernatural sense of purpose and preparation.

  It also helped keep my stomach from turning over into knots. As I sat up straight in Lady Penelope’s coach, the hilt leaned into my side, giving me something to focus on, something other than how if I failed tonight, the majority of Prague’s aristocracy and nobility would be dead, along with me and likely everyone I ever cared for.

  Ben, dressed up in a footman’s livery, squeezed my hand as he helped me descend from the carriage.

  “Remember your promise,” I whispered to him.

  “I will,” he assured me, and then he quickly let me go.

  Lady Penelope and I hiked up our skirts and headed up into the entrance to Prague Castle.

  If I had been there under any other circumstances, I would have thought I had died and gone to heaven. A heaven, I thought with a smile, where it was Christmastime all the time.

  Since Queen Victoria had taken up the tradition of decorating trees for the season, many others had followed in her example. Empress Maria Anna had gone further, hanging wreaths and silk all over, presenting many images of the infant Jesus, surrounded by his holy mother and the shepherds who gathered at his birth. At the front of the room, there was even a mock manger scene, with complete with sculptures of angles and shepherds. Tall trees lined the walls of the room, each of them lit with small candles and decorative ribbons and other little ornaments.

  The ballroom was filled with light, so brilliant it was hard for me to look up at any of the chandeliers without shielding my eyes. I stood atop the staircase before it, wondering if it was wrong to feel as though I was descending into Elysium rather than Hades.

  The dagger at my side, underneath all my skirts, slanted against me, even though the rest of my outfit seemed weightless all of a sudden.

  It was as though I was an actual princess in this moment, and I smiled at the thought of seeing Karl. The voice at the back of my mind reminded me that if I wanted, I could be a real princess.