Sovereignty

by Ryan Michler

  In 2008, I hit rock bottom. As I mentioned previously, my wife had left with my six-month-old son, I was in horrible physical shape, my business was atrophying, and I was miserable. It took a serious jolt to wake me from the slumber I had found myself in. I can’t help but wonder if I would have needed to hit rock bottom at all if I’d have adopted our military mantra—“complacency kills”—in my civilian life.

  Do any of us need to hit rock bottom before we wake up? You may have already hit the bottom. You may not have yet. Either way, what you do now is up to you.

  WHAT WILL YOU DO?

  Newton’s First Law of Motion states, “An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.”

  What is the unbalanced force that will get you moving? A divorce, a separation, a layoff, a bankruptcy, a heart attack? Or can it be something significantly less drastic, like this book for example?

  The difference between you and an inanimate object is that you don’t need to be “acted upon” in order to change course. You can simply decide to change. Most men won’t. It requires time. It requires energy. It requires resources. And it requires effort.

  But you’re different. That’s why you’re reading this book. You know there’s something more out there. You know that you are meant to make more of your life. You’re not comfortable with maintaining the status quo.

  Although you know there’s more out there, you just can’t quite put your finger on it. We’re going to help you with that, but in order for you to do it, you have to make a decision. Most people want the results without the effort. In a way, by asking for the answer before they’ve earned it, they’re attempting to remove the risk of uncertainty from their lives. This is not like that, and this will not be like most journeys.

  You have to commit first. Then, and only then, will you experience the results. If you can’t commit, put on the blindfold you took off long enough to read up to this point and do what you’ve always done.

  Sure, you’ll continue to experience the same results and the sense of frustration that comes with stagnation, but on the bright side, you’ll get to stay in your bubble. You’ll get to stay comfortable. You won’t have to do hard things. You won’t have to push yourself. You won’t subject yourself to ridicule, judgment, and the loss of friends and family who aren’t interested in seeing you change.

  On the other hand, you could decide that you’re no longer going to live what Teddy Roosevelt refers to as “a life of ease and comfort.” You’re not going to live in complacency. You’re going to decide that the blindfold you’ve been wearing has been taken off for good.

  If this is the case, you’re ready for more. You’re willing to do the work required to have more in your life. You understand that it’s not going to be easy. It’s not going to be comfortable. At times you’re going to be scared, confused, and about ready to throw in the towel. But you won’t, because you are ready to play for keeps—ready to take charge of your business and employment, ready to take charge of and responsibility for the relationships you’re working to build, ready to take care of your body the way it’s meant to be taken care of, and ready to take care of every facet of your life.

  First, let’s talk about what this path looks like, then we’ll begin.

  CHAPTER 3

  THE PATH

  “Sad will be the day for any man when he becomes contented with the thoughts he is thinking and the deeds he is doing - where there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger; which he knows he was meant and made to do.”

  -Phillips Brooks

  Congratulate yourself for making a wise choice that will positively impact you, your family, your friends, your neighborhood, your community, and your posterity.

  Get ready to open your eyes to some information you may never have heard before—or never heard in this way— and free yourself from the delusion that you’ve been living in. Most men never come to the conclusion that you have. They’re afraid. So afraid that it causes them to shrink in fear of what has the power to change their lives. You might be experiencing that fear now. You might be asking yourself some questions.

  “What if I have to do something different?” You will.

  “What if some people don’t like who I will have to become?” They won’t.

  “What if I lose some friendships along the way?” It’s going to happen.

  You have to come to terms with that in order to implement the changes I’m going to ask you to make. It’s not easy, but neither is living as a slave to the circumstances you’ve created for yourself up to this point. Coming to terms with the fact that you are going to push yourself outside of your current comfort zone, answer some tough questions from family and friends, and potentially alienate those closest to you does nothing to eliminate the fear.

  You’re probably still afraid (maybe more so), but the pain of staying where you currently are has become greater than the fear that remains. That’s why you’re still with me.

  So potentially, for the first time in your life, you’ve decided to take a stand. For the first time in your life, you might be saying to yourself, “enough is enough.”

  For the first time in your life, you are no longer interested in living beholden to your boss, your wife, your family, your body, or anyone or anything else that has been keeping you back from the life you, as a man, are meant to live.

  So, where do we go from here?

  THE MISSION

  Before you understand how to regain your sovereignty, you need to understand why it’s important you do it in the first place. Up to this point we’ve talked about the delusion you’ve been living in. We’ve talked about the nagging feeling of uncertainty you may be experiencing. We’ve talked about the power and feeling that come with the liberation of your heart and mind.

  At the end of the day, it really isn’t worth it (or even necessary) to regain your Sovereignty if there isn’t some purpose you have for being alive in the first place. And it’s my belief that all men have a mission on this planet. Without a mission, men wander around aimlessly, wondering when they’re going to catch their break. They may look around and see other men operating with focus and clarity and wonder why they seem to lack that in their life. In many cases, the missing piece is an understanding of why we’re here and what we’re here to do. Only then, when we have the mission, can we truly begin the journey.

  Men have a responsibility on this planet, just as women have a responsibility. In many cases, these responsibilities overlap, and how men fulfill their calling may differ, but every man’s mission is to protect, provide, and preside. This basic understanding provides the foundation and framework for the Sovereignty we’re working to capture.

  Many people have tried to make me believe differently about why I’m here, but the more I bring my beliefs and action in line with the noble calling of protector, provider, and presider, the more content, confident, and satisfied I am. No man can fully be Sovereign who does not have goals, ambitions, and a desire to fulfill the mission of stepping into the noble calling that defines a man.

  In Part II, we’ll break down the three-point mission Sovereign Men engage in and teach you how you can be fully the protector, provider, and presider others rely on you to be, and, more importantly, a man who operates with clarity, purpose, and direction.

  THE CODE OF CONDUCT

  In Part III, we’ll break down the Code of Conduct every Sovereign Man lives by. Consider this code as an operating system by which you can judge your thoughts, ideas, actions, and interactions on a daily basis. Every great society and every great man has a set of rules or guidelines by which he lives his life.

  Consider this excerpt from the U.S. Army Soldier’s Creed:

  I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.

  I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.


  I am an expert and I am a professional.

  I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

  Or the Navy SEAL Code:

  • Loyalty to Country, Team and Teammate

  • Serve with Honor and Integrity On and Off the Battlefield

  • Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit

  • Take responsibility for your actions and the actions of your teammates

  • Excel as Warriors through Discipline and Innovation

  • Train for War, Fight to Win, Defeat our Nation’s Enemies

  • Earn your Trident everyday

  The code we discuss in Part III comprises the components of the Sovereign Man’s Creed: Self-Reliance, Intentionality, Discernment, Wisdom, Ownership, Strength, Humility, Integrity, Conviction, Self-Awareness, Discipline, Mastery, and Courage.

  It is critical that you internalize this code. As you are faced with the challenges that will inevitably arise as you wrestle for control of your life, you need an operating system by which to measure your decisions.

  In his book On Killing, Colonel Grossman discusses the idea that we must come up with a set of predetermined responses so when we’re faced with difficult decisions, we don’t allow the filter of emotions we’re looking through to taint our ability and desire to make the right choice.

  Knowing, understanding, and internalizing the Code of Conduct will help you make definitive decisions in the midst of difficult circumstances.

  THE BATTLE PLAN

  What good is all this information if you don’t know how to use it effectively in your life?

  In Part IV, we begin to bridge the gap between what you know you should be doing and what you’re actually doing.

  Frankly speaking, we are not at a loss for information. We have access to information on a scale the world has never seen. Yet we, as men, continue to make the same decisions that have produced results less than we’re capable of. Why the disparity? Why do we continue to do the exact opposite of what we know we should be doing? The answer: we have no plan for incorporating all that we learn.

  Information is the simple part, and up until now, you may be thinking, “This doesn’t sound too bad. I can recapture my sovereignty quickly and painlessly.” If information was all you needed, though, we’d all be millionaires with chiseled six-pack abs. Everyone knows how to get wealthy: add more value to the marketplace, spend less money. Everyone knows how to get healthier: eat less, move more.

  Even with access to all the knowledge in the world, we may still find ourselves with too much month at the end of the money and a few extra pounds around the midsection.

  With that in mind, Part IV is designed to walk you through an effective Battle Plan and arm you with the tools, the resources, and the information to actually make the information and application of it stick. Not only are we going to walk you through the process of building a Battle Plan, we’re going to help you build your own. By the time you’re done with this book, you’ll have a crystal-clear course of action moving forward.

  ENGAGE

  Everything you will have read up to this point will be absolutely useless unless you engage—unless you implement what you have learned.

  Most people fail in execution, not understanding. When I started the Order of Man in 2015, I did not intend to start a movement of information no one had ever heard of before.

  In fact, everything I have ever said and ever shared has already been said and shared before. Sure, I may have put a new spin on it, but the fact remains, none of this is new information.

  You, the reader of this book, already know what to do. But for some reason, there is a disconnect between what you know you should be doing and what you actually do. For example, if I told you to give me the basic principles of weight loss, what would you say? Eat less, move more. How about the principles of building wealth? Buy low, sell high. How about the principles of building a successful relationship? Give more than you take.

  Pretty simple, right? But not so simple in application. The last thing I want is to create a good-looking book with some temporarily motivating rhetoric. I want to create something that will be the genesis of a new direction in your life—a lifelong commitment to the application of Sovereignty.

  So, I’m going to issue you some challenges. I’m going to ask you to put into practice all that I have shared and all that you have been doing up to this point. I’m going to ask you to identify some of the challenges that will inevitably rear their ugly heads. And face it all on your feet and drive on. With the information that follows in these pages, you will have the knowledge, tools, and skills to do just that.

  Let’s get started.

  PART II

  THE MISSION

  “I submit to you that if a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.”

  -Martin Luther King Jr.

  Before we move any further, it’s critical we understand that a Sovereign Man does not operate at a disregard for others. If anything, a Sovereign Man battles for his sovereignty so that he may serve others more effectively.

  There seems to be a growing trend in society that men operate independently of and without care for others. A relatively new movement called Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) has sprung up as an unhealthy and unnatural response by men who have become too dependent on or hurt by women.

  Where Sovereignty is reserved for men who take control of their lives in order to more fully fulfill their responsibilities, commitments, and obligations to themselves and others, MGTOW and similar movements are more concerned with alienating themselves from women and potentially society altogether.

  That’s not at all what this is about. Sovereignty is about positioning yourself in a way that equips you with the mindset and skill set required to protect, provide, and preside—your true calling as a man. And, interestingly enough, it’s in the service of others that we come alive as men as we have been biologically programmed to carry out this mission.

  In order to take off the blindfold you’ve been wearing and regain control of your heart and mind, you need to understand why you’re doing it in the first place. If you don’t, this difficult journey won’t stick, and you’ll revert to the path you’ve always traveled.

  After all is said and done, it is my hope you will see that this is your job and that others are relying upon you to step into this calling. But equally important is the sense of pride, power, and satisfaction a man feels when he is doing what he was born to do. This is the missing link between men who feel lost and confused about who they are and why they’re here and those with a clear understanding of their role as men.

  I haven’t always lived by this mission. For a long time I floundered when it came to my role and responsibility as a man. The confusion in my life stemmed from spending most of my childhood without a father figure. (I don’t, however, use this as an excuse. More on that later.)

  When I was three years old, my father and mother split. When I was nine, a new man came into my life as my stepfather. Unfortunately, he was an alcoholic. He was never abusive, but he wasn’t present the way a father should be. I remember glimpses of a healthy relationship with him. He would take us to the sprint car races, and we’d laugh and yell together as we watched the cars race around the dirt track. I also remember building Pinewood Derby cars together. In fact, I still have the two cars we built—one, deep maroon and the other, bright orange.

  Before long, that marriage ended and, when I was thirteen years old, a new stepfather came into my life. This man, however, was verbally and emotionally abusive. He was very successful, very charismatic, and very confident, but he used those gifts and abilities to push people down rather than lift them up. He never treated me poorly; in fact, he treated me great. His anger and bitterness were directed at my mother and my sister.

  I remember the day we left. My mom and stepfather argued; I’m not sure what their argument was about, but my mom gr
abbed my sister and me and we all ran out the door. The three of us ran into the garage, where he had disabled the car we were about to leave in. Apparently this had happened before, because my mom knew exactly what to do to get the car started again. As she fired up the car, he came running out of the house. She was so scared for her safety, as well as ours, that she drove through the garage door as he tried to shut it in order to keep us from leaving.

  As we sped off, he chased us down the street and slammed on the passenger-side window—the side I was on. I did the only thing I could do at that point I tried to punch him through the window. I hit the window twice before it shattered onto the road and left my hand sliced and bloodied. I still have the scars to prove it.

  Needless to say, I didn’t have a great role model growing up. I didn’t know how a man treated his wife and children. I didn’t know how a man showed up in his career. I didn’t know how a man showed up in his community.

  Fortunately, my mother knew I would need the influence of good, strong men in my life. She got me involved in sports—specifically, baseball, football, and wrestling. It was there on the field where I learned what it meant to be a man. I learned from my coaches, who were disciplined, tough, and committed. They never took it easy on me or any of the other boys, but I never doubted that they cared for us and were equipping us with the tools and skills and code to succeed on the field and off.

  The foundational element of the Sovereign experience is the understanding that you have a calling, an obligation, and a responsibility to fulfill: a mission. You are on this planet for a reason. I don’t know what it is. You might not know what it is yet either. It’s my goal to get you closer to discovering it.

  Although there are many paths that lead to your calling as a man, you’re here to protect, provide, and preside. Let me show you what that means.

  CHAPTER 4

  PROTECT

  “The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable.”