by Ryan Michler
Take the financial industry, for example. I spent nearly a decade teaching consumers how the financial markets worked. In a way, I sat in a really interesting position. I was an insider to the financial companies I was expected to represent. I identified their motives. I studied their marketing strategies. I learned their language.
On the other hand, I had clients to represent. My clients paid me to offer products and solutions that would meet their financial objectives. In a way, I was the liaison between my clients and the products they wanted.
I can tell you from experience, the financial industry wants consumers in the dark. The more confused consumers are, the more profitable they become and the more reliant they are to the companies tugging on the strings.
When it comes to the media, consider the proliferation of fake news. We see false reports on everything from politics to professional sports, current affairs, and automobile maintenance.
The sad truth is that the mainstream media has become less about investigative journalism and more about outrageous, outlandish claims and headlines designed to get you to pay attention. It doesn’t need to be true; it just needs to be captivating. The mainstream media may not be after your heart and soul, but they’re after your eyeballs and attention.
With regard to the government, let’s isolate just one element, the IRS. According to www.TaxFoundation.org, federal tax laws and regulations were over 10,000,000 words long in 2015, nearly six times longer than they were in 1955.
Why? Why does the tax code need to be so long? The answer is that it doesn’t. There are ways not only to simplify tax code, but to make it much more efficient. But again, the more you’re in the dark about the way things really work—the more confused you are—the easier it is to manipulate you.
Another clear indicator of the web of confusion is one element of the way we vote in the United States. For over two hundred years, our political environment has been dominated by a two-party system. For the most part, we vote either Republican or Democrat. Between the bickering, the constant attacks and insults hurled at the opposing party, and the magnification of these differences by the mainstream media, it has become nearly impossible to decipher which of our politicians believe what.
The solution? Straight-ticket voting. After all, why ask voters to critically analyze their politicians when you can simply make an option available to vote ALL Republican or ALL Democrat with a simple click of a button?
Whether it’s big business, mainstream media, or our own government, at the end of the day, all the smoke and mirrors, all the confusion, and all the complexity is designed to get you to toe the line, to do what you’re told, and to do it without question.
COMMON SENSE AND CRITICAL THINKING ARE THINGS OF THE PAST
Technology is amazing. It truly is. We have more access to information in the palm of our hands than ever before. With this technology comes many advancements in the way we work, communicate, and live.
However, one of the unintended consequences of this technology is that we have become a collection of the most informed morons the world has ever known. It’s becoming painfully obvious that there is a huge lack of common sense and critical thinking, which has permeated much of society.
Several months ago, as I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, I came across two posts in particular. One post illustrated how a previous version of the iPhone lacked a headphone jack. One needn’t worry though, as the illustration showed how to simply drill a port into your phone. The other post showed how adding a cup of sugar to your gas tank will keep the ethanol in your gas from freezing.
The sad part? In the comments, there were people who actually did what these posts suggested. Obviously (or so you would think), their phones and car engines were ruined.
Take another example: GPS. I’ve seen stories of people who, at the request of the GPS, stopped their vehicles in front of oncoming trains or drove their cars into lakes and rivers and even off the sides of cliffs.
Again, technology is not inherently bad, but when it comes at the expense of your own well-being, it’s probably time we question our reliance on it and consider tapping into the supercomputer we all already possess: our brain.
KNOWLEDGE IS NOT POWER
Although critical thinking is an excellent starting point to regain some of the sovereignty we give away when we allow others to dictate what is right for us, it’s not enough.
Knowing is never enough. We must do.
We’ve all heard the phrase “knowledge is power.” That would be nice if it were true. It isn’t.
What good, for example, does it do me to know how to write a book if I’m unwilling to actually write a book? The information, the ideas, and the knowledge that may be bouncing around in my brain do not serve me or anyone else if I am unwilling or incapable of turning that knowledge into the practical application of that knowledge.
Therefore, knowledge is not power; knowledge applied is.
We can see the negative ramifications of believing that only knowledge is required when we look at college students who spend four years or more to walk out of college with a liberal arts, religious studies, or philosophy degree. The education is great—so says the very institutions that have a vested interest in ensuring we believe it is—but at what cost did it come?
Congratulations, you now have more knowledge, but what could you have done with the time, money, and energy required to obtain it? This is known as lost-opportunity cost.
You could have started a business. You could have interned with a company and gained valuable experience. You could have been well on your way to making a difference instead of merely learning how to make a difference.
Is this always true? No. There are many careers in which a college education is extremely helpful and many careers where it simply isn’t. I can’t answer the question of whether or not you should go to college, but critically questioning that choice is something all men should do.
This process of evaluating your decisions is the critical distinction between knowledge and wisdom. Whereas knowledge is simply having the information, wisdom is the ability to discern what information is true and, more importantly, how it is applicable in your life.
THE MINDSET—RECOGNIZE AND ACT ACCORDING TO OBJECTIVE TRUTH
Wrapping your head around the idea that what you’ve been conditioned and programmed to avoid—asking too many questions about the truth of the way this world works—can be a daunting task. Couple that with the fact that it is often perceived as easier to bury our heads in the sand.
It may actually be easier … in the short term. But long term, truth always wins.
And because we’re in this game for the long haul, we should always strive to play the long game. That game can only be won when we make a conscious effort to recognize and act according to objective truth—not to what our parents or teachers taught us, not to what the Internet says, but objective truth.
It’s becoming increasingly challenging where everyone has a platform and everyone has something to say, whether or not they should. In many ways, the meteoric rise of social media has opened the world to many truths, while, at the same time, it has created a web of complexity and confusion that is hard to untangle.
As difficult as it has become and as magnified as the problem has yet to become, it is critical you do all you can to find the truth and act accordingly.
THE SKILL SET
Qualify Your Sources. As we’ve seen in recent years, the rise of “fake news” is creating some serious problems. That is compounded by the fact that many operate in a “herd mentality” and refuse to look objectively at the information they consume.
A Sovereign Man is an informed man. And he is not armed with just any information. He is armed with accurate information. In an age when people will believe anything they hear and see, when you consume new information, your first priority should be to qualify the source.
Ask yourself if the source is credible. Ask yourself what the source of this inf
ormation has to gain by giving you said information.
Take the media, for example. What is their motive? Many would say it’s to give you information. I disagree. Their motive is to get your attention so they can sell it to their advertisers. With that said, is it in their best interest to bore you with what may have actually happened or to sensationalize their stories?
I saw a video created by USAToday (what many would consider a credible source) that illustrated the components of an AR-15. In addition to the default components, it showed optional upgrades one could equip the firearm with. One of the optional upgrades they illustrated in the video was a chainsaw bayonet. I shit you not, a chainsaw bayonet. Are you kidding me? Get real. Unfortunately, there will be people who buy into that because “the Internet said so.”
Question Everything. A healthy dose of skepticism goes a long way. Sure, this can be taken to the extreme. We all know that crotchety old man who believes in all the conspiracy theories and thinks everyone is out to get him. But skepticism in moderation is a healthy practice. Whenever I consume new information, I ask myself, “Is this really true?” I also attempt to find an alternate perspective that challenges the ideas I’m learning.
Aristotle says, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” Don’t automatically assume because it’s in a book or on the Internet, or because your wife’s/brother’s/friend’s uncle saw something, it’s right or accurate. It may very well be, but your first response should always be to question it, analyze it, gain differing perspectives on it, and only then act on it.
CHAPTER 11
OWNERSHIP
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”
-Mahatma Gandhi
An unfortunate reality of the world in which we live is a lack of men who have taken complete ownership of their lives. Everywhere you look you see countless men who have not only shirked their responsibilities as men, but who have pawned off any burden that comes with the mantle of masculinity.
“I got passed over for a promotion due to office politics,” these men will say.
“I got a divorce because my wife didn’t appreciate all that I did,” they’ll complain.
“I can’t lose weight and get in shape because there’s no gym near me,” they’ll gripe.
While some of that may be true, most men seem to be content with overlooking any responsibility and role they played in the situations in which they find themselves. But if there’s one thing that makes a man a man, it’s ownership. It’s ownership of your thoughts, your beliefs, your actions, and ultimately the consequences that follow.
The dichotomy of ownership, however, is a challenging one to accept. When things go right, men have no problem accepting the praise and notoriety that come from a job well done. When things go wrong, however, that burden of responsibility is easily shifted to the people and situations seemingly outside their control.
You know exactly what I’m talking about. We’ve all had bosses who basked in the days of glory, but when the shit hit the fan, we were the first to be thrown under the bus. When things go wrong, how easy is it to say it’s someone else’s fault? How easy is it to blame our wife for the marital problems? How easy is it for us to blame the vendor for not getting the product out on time? How easy is it to blame the economy for our lack of financial resources?
Accepting responsibility and ownership of any given situation means accepting all of it, not just the victories.
WHEN A BOY BECOMES A MAN
First Corinthians 13:11 states, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
Shifting blame and responsibility is the ultimate sign of a child. When I get after my oldest for hitting his brother, his immediate default answer is always, “It’s not my fault; he started it.” It’s as if somehow, his younger brother forced him to hit him back.
We think, as men, we’re above that behavior, but I can assure you, we’re not.
I once watched a previous employer get after one of his team leaders for not completing a task on time. Rather than owning up to the fact that he didn’t do what he said he would, the team leader immediately passed the blame to his team members, a vendor, and the economy.
I almost laughed out loud as I watched a grown man give the equivalent of my nine-year-old son’s excuse: “Well, it’s not my fault; he started it.”
One of the questions I ask every guest of my podcast is, “What does it mean to be a man?” I’ve never heard two guests give the same answer, but I can say that the overwhelming majority of answers fall into the category of responsibility and ownership.
Contrast this with my three sons, who are nine, six, and two. They’re boys, not men. They’re not even expected to be. Sure, they have some chores to do around the house. They have to practice the piano and go to football practice, but at the end of the day, the burden of responsibility of ensuring these things get completed falls on me as their father and the man of the house.
But make no mistake, being a man has less to do with age than one might think. One hundred years ago, boys were expected to step up as men far earlier than they are now. If a father passed away, many times, young boys would drop out of their schooling to go to work full-time to help make ends meet at home. In other words, they assumed responsibility. The flip side of that coin is the thirty-year-old man who still plays video games while living in his mommy and daddy’s basement.
Being a man has less to do with age and more to do with the ownership of your own lives and the lives of those under your care. But in order to step into that role of Sovereign Man, you’re going to have to understand that every position you find yourself in is your fault.
IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT
Yes, I said it: “It’s all your fault.”
Your financial situation is your fault.
Your level of health is your fault.
Your relationship status is your fault.
Everything about your life is your fault.
There are situations outside your control (refer to Chapter 9, “Discernment”), but you are always in control of how you respond to these situations.
Let’s break down the examples from above.
FINANCES
“Ryan, my broker screwed me.” You didn’t do your research.
“I lost money in my 401(k) because of the economy.” Then explain to me how other people made money during the same time. Maybe you just didn’t diversify well enough.
“I got injured and I can’t work anymore. It’s not my fault but now we’re in debt.” Why didn’t you set money aside for a rainy day?
HEALTH
“There’s no gym near me.” Who said you need a gym to be healthy?
“Eating healthy requires more money than eating poorly.” No, it doesn’t. It just requires a little bit of planning. Besides, how much money do you spend on Netflix, cable, and quick trips to the convenient store?
“I wish I could lose weight, but I’m just big boned. I can thank my parents for that.” First, your bones are the same size as everyone else’s. Second, if genetics is something you have to deal with, you might just have to work a little harder at it than others.
RELATIONSHIPS
“Ryan, you don’t understand, my wife is a bitch.” Maybe, but you married her.
“Yeah, but she’s changed since we got married.” So have you.
“My wife doesn’t believe in the new business I’m starting.” You can’t even take out the trash when you say you will. Why should she trust you with the family’s livelihood?
I’m not denying that some of what you deal with is caused by someone or something else. What I am saying is, what you’re tel
ling yourself just isn’t the complete truth. Parts of your scripts may be true, but you’re leaving out the critical elements that give you the power to actually do something about it.
When you’re selective with your stories, you give away the power and sovereignty you have to make a difference in your life and the lives of those you care about. You put yourself at the mercy of the winds, chance, or fate.
YOU HAVE THE POWER
You are powerful. More powerful than you give yourself credit for. More powerful than even you would like to admit.
It’s been said that with great power comes great responsibility, which is why most people run away from that power. We give it away. We ignore it. We hide from it.
I hear people say that accepting too much of the burden and responsibility is a mistake, especially when it’s truly not your fault or problem. I think it’s a mistake not to accept the burden of responsibility. Most people think responsibility is limiting. I think it’s empowering.
If I pawn off the success of my business, my finances, my health, and my relationships on other people, I hinder my ability to expand and grow. Essentially, I’ve put myself at the mercy of other people, their baggage, and their agendas.
But when I accept that I have the ultimate responsibility to myself and to others for my business, my finances, my health, and my relationships, I have now positioned myself for the growth and expansion that can only come through critical thinking and intentional action.
No longer am I at the mercy of whatever life may have to offer. I have an active part in creating the life I desire. And to wrestle control back of the ultimate power you possess, you’re going to have to let go of the excuses you love to conjure up.
NO EXCUSES, DRILL SERGEANT
Excuses are crafty. They feel so real. They feel legitimate. But they’re not. They’re lies, plain and simple. And they pose a very real and dangerous threat to your heart and mind.
Our excuses are so easily disguised, and they’re so difficult to detect. Therefore, it becomes necessary to take drastic measures. You must declare a “zero tolerance” policy on your excuses. Personally, I’ve adopted a mantra that I learned nearly twenty years ago.
