Afterwards, he collapsed over me, sweaty and panting. I wrapped my arms around his back, hugging him to me, and we lay there basking in all the feelings I didn’t really understand but enjoyed nonetheless.
His heart pounded against his chest and into mine. I lifted my hand and laid it over the restless beating thundering within him, closing my eyes and enjoying the franticness of it. He lifted himself up enough to put his hand over mine, pressing it into his chest.
“You did this.” He smirked, a proud light in his eyes. He looked so damn happy. I hadn’t seen him this happy yet. My insides warmed again.
“Well, I can assure you, my heart is pounding just as hard.”
He chuckled and let go of my hand to nuzzle my neck. “I feel like this isn’t real.”
“Really?” I reached down and cupped him, giving him a few strokes. “This doesn’t feel real at all?” My words were playful but heated. I was already ready for another round.
He jerked in my hand and groaned. “Fuck, Nyssa.”
I giggled, actually giggled, feeling light and free. His eyes lit up with appreciation.
“I like that look.”
“What look?”
“Of you completely relaxed. Even when you sleep you don’t look as relaxed as you do right now.”
I smiled and lifted up, kissing him lightly on the lips.
“Well, I guess I should say I look like this because of you.”
A rumbling came from his chest. “So fucking perfect.”
He leaned down and drew me into a long deep kiss that made me feel like a sap but it was so damn good. I could get used to this.
~ * ~
“...yssa,” Landus sang into my ear with a soft baritone that nearly put me back to sleep. “Nyssa.” He chuckled. “Time to get up.”
“I’m not going to make it, just leave me behind.”
“Never.” He nuzzled my neck, his lips brushing against my skin. My skin turned to fire, and I suddenly felt really hot in the room. “Did it just get hotter in here?” Landus asked.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and found his lips with mine. “Who cares?”
It took a while for us to get out of bed, and by the time we made it to his kitchen, the surprise breakfast he’d made me was cold. It was so worth it though.
He heated the food up while I dug through his cupboards.
“What are you looking for?”
“Hot chocolate.”
“Hot chocolate? Why would I have something like that?”
I stopped poking through his cupboards and turned to him with massive eyes. “Are you saying there is no hot chocolate in this house?”
He shook his head, looking so yummy and confused. He still hadn’t shaved yet, and I really hoped he wasn’t planning to anytime soon. I loved his rugged look. He looked dangerous, which he was. He looked like he could tear heads off shoulders, which he could. He looked like he could make me scream in pleasure, which he did. Damn. That beard needed to stay. I shook my head, focusing on the biggest issue here.
I sighed, disappointed in him.
“What?” he asked.
I shook my head again and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. “People are addicted to coffee or tea. I’m addicted to hot chocolate. Preferably with marshmallows, though that isn’t a must.”
He smiled, completely amused with the potential end of Terra Firma. “I’ll make sure there is hot chocolate stocked up.”
“Oh? You seem so sure that I’ll be back.”
He sauntered over to me, his expression heated. When he was in reach, he grabbed my arms and pulled me into him. I put my hands against his chest and smiled up at him. He made me feel so different. I still didn’t understand why, but they were good feels, and I didn’t have very many of those. “Babe, I’m not letting you go.”
His words created an ache in my chest, and he must have seen it in my expression because he grew serious.
“What’s wrong?”
I shrugged. “I just... I don’t know how to do this. Do us? I don’t do this,” I rambled, hoping the tightness in my chest would fade away, but it didn’t.
“Babe.” He leaned down and kissed me lightly before pulling away. “We go at your pace. I have to admit, I’m not sure how to do this, whatever this is, either, but I’m willing to try. You set the pace, and I’ll be happy with it. All I ask is to give us a chance, not to give this an ending before it even started.”
His words abated the tightness enough to breathe, and I smiled at him. His expression softened as mine did.
“I think I can accept that.”
His beast flashed through his eyes as they turned into warm moonlight. His chest rumbled with approval as he leaned forward and we kissed.
The microwave beeped, and he pulled back slowly, still staring at me. I couldn’t look away from him. I felt like he was the sun and I was a planet rotating around him, wanting to get closer and closer despite knowing I could get burned for it.
We finally settled down to eat in companionable silence. Despite the food being reheated, it was still delicious. I enjoyed every warm and sweet bite of the French toast.
About halfway through, I glanced around the kitchen, noting that it wasn’t the one at the pack house. “This isn’t the packhouse,” I remarked.
“No, it’s not.” He grinned, leaving me with a mystery. When I narrowed my eyes, he chuckled and expanded. “I have a house on packlands away from the main house. It gives me privacy when I need it. The others also know not to disturb me if I’m here unless the world is ending.”
“Hmm, I like that,” I said. This place had to be to him what the Woodlands were to me: a sanctuary. I liked this kitchen more, it was tailored to fit the image of Landus, masculine, but homey. A kitchen made out of sturdy wood, a gas stove, a huge sink with a dishwasher next to it, a big window to look out into the surrounding woods. Big enough for him to move around, but not so big that a party could be held in here like the one in the packhouse.
“What are you doing today?” Landus asked after finishing off his orange juice. He leaned back in his chair and watched as I finished chewing some potatoes.
“I’m going to go check up on Cecil and talk with Maura. See if she made any headway in a translation of a book.”
“What kind of book?”
I shrugged. “A journal, but it’s written in Latin and not many know that language anymore. She thinks there might be information in there about me.”
His brows furrowed, confusion written all over his face. “Why would she need to find information about you?”
“Oh.” Yeah, I’d kind of forgotten he didn’t know that I didn’t know what the hell I was. I shifted in my seat and sighed, running a hand through my hair and playing with a strand of the different shades, separating the blond strands from the light reds and browns.
“Nyssa?”
“I don’t know what I am.”
He blinked a couple of times, probably trying to figure out if I was messing with him or something. “How?”
I shrugged. “I don’t remember a lot of my past. I spent too long surviving and my past just wasn’t important when facing beasts trying to tear my limbs apart.”
“And Maura might have answers.”
“I hope so. That shit I did in her apartment... I shouldn’t be able to do that. And when I first met Slade, he thought I was a shifter. I’m way too sensitive to energy.” I used my fingers to tick everything off. “I can do stuff I shouldn’t be able to do. I manipulated energy in a way no one else can, Landus. When we fought Baron to get those kids back, I manipulated energy in ways that shouldn’t have been possible. Before all this shit happened, I healed better, was stronger, and could track gates, but recently, I’ve been changing. It’s like I’ve been jumpstarted into becoming whatever the hell I am.”
I lifted my hand to my chest, where that something in me was. I felt her shift. She was still very content. She felt like a lazy cat. “I’m not a shifter, but I can feel someth
ing in me. I don’t want to lose control, and to prevent that, I need to understand what I am. I can’t keep ignoring it anymore.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this?”
I gave him a small smile. “Because I enjoyed seeing you frustrated and it was none of your damn business.”
“And now?” He reached over and grabbed my hand. He ran his thumb over my palm in slow lazy movements that I was able to draw comfort from.
I cocked an eyebrow. “I think something changed between us. I can be a little more open, I guess.”
Landus smiled. “You guess?”
I kicked him playfully in the leg before getting up and putting my plate in the sink.
“You can just leave it. Someone comes in to clean, and he’ll do it.”
I nodded and turned back to Landus.
“While this was a nice little escape for a little bit, I need to go check on Cecil.”
“I’ll drop you off. I have a meeting out that way anyway.”
“Thank you. For everything.”
His smile widened. “You’re welcome.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
I remember meeting a man. An adult towering over me. He smiled down at me, not unkindly. He asked me who I was, what I was, but I had no answer. I remember following him, watching him. Learning from him. He taught me to survive.
—Nyssa’s Journal
Maura was in her study when Landus dropped me off. The journal sat in front of her and she flipped through pages, a frown on her face as she focused on the words on the pages. She looked at a couple more, marking something on the last page she was on, and then closed the book before looking up at me.
“How’s everything going?” I asked, leaning against the doorframe, unable to step farther into the room.
She considered me for a moment before smiling softly, her eyes brightening. Her healing vibes touched me despite the distance between us. She was just that kind of person.
“Cecil is still the same, but my sisters have discovered some potential options. I just finished up with translating the book. There are some... interesting things in here for you.”
I cocked an eyebrow, not saying anything.
She flipped to a page and cleared her throat.
“The wind whipped around the skies. The air burned against my skin. Energy drowned the air particles, thick enough to choke on. Fire flew down and smashed into the ground with a sickening thump. Something within the carnage stirred and then ever so slowly a beautiful creature rose—something I’ve never seen before. It rose from the fire and slumped back down. He released a bellow that shattered the ground. A mournful cry of pain and misery. Of a loneliness that could never be healed. I knew that loneliness. I felt it every day of my life.” She turned the page. “His wingspan was wide, nearly twenty feet. The feathers all shades of warmth, producing a beautiful blend of yellows, oranges, and reds. Proud too, wounded but no doubt proud. He looked like a survivor. The slight curve to his orange beak kept me away. I did not want him tearing into me. He was fire incarnate. I kept my distance and just observed. Slowly the beast receded into human shape and collapsed to the ground, the fire around him dousing out as he lost consciousness. What I saw was a creature of legends.”
Maura stopped and leaned back. She turned the book around and pushed it towards me. I stared at the book, my heart thudding against my chest in anticipation. I didn’t get nervous about much, but right now, I felt a little unsettled.
“I think you should read the rest yourself.”
“Is it that bad?” I asked.
“Maybe. I’m not sure. Some words were difficult to translate. This is a very old book written by a very powerful wizard well over a thousand years ago. Some of the language he used is too old to know for sure. But you should read it. Maybe it isn’t as bad as it could be.”
I nodded and lifted the book up as if it were china. I tended to break anything delicate. I folded myself onto her small couch, tucking my feet underneath me as I read through her translation. Maura had written on pieces of paper and tucked them into the book on the pages she had translated. Her writing had a slight cursive style to it, but her words were neat and easy to read.
I took him in. He isn’t a shifter, nor a witch, or any being that I know of. Days have passed and he has yet to wake up. He looks as though he is in devastating pain, but there’s nothing I can do for him. I don’t know what he is. His ability with energy is far beyond anything I’ve seen. Even unconscious he does wonders with it. And when he opens his mouth in a fit of pain, he creates wind. I don’t even need to keep a fire going because he keeps the air so warm, his temperatures higher than even shifters.
I paused for a moment, staring at the short passage. My temperature ran high a lot, especially when I got worked up about something. Landus even noticed it when I was with him this morning. And after I saw Cecil, they said I’d destroyed Maura’s living room. Was he also as sensitive as I was to energy, being able to sense it from such a huge distance away? And gates? Was he good with sensing gates like I was? I flipped to the next page, reading Maura’s handwriting.
He woke up today and stared at me. No words. Just stared. He saw everything. He saw everything for what it was, nothing being able to hide. He saw through me when I told him about why I was traveling. He called me out on it and said I was running away. I am too. I can admit that much, and I will continue to run away until I can face the pain of losing my family.
I didn’t get much out of it and went to the next page.
He told me his story, and I felt like a complete fool. Here I am running away because I lost my family. At least I’m alive. At least I’m not a ticking time bomb like he is. He lost his mate—his one true love—and now he will die from it. He will waste away until there is nothing left of him, not even a body.
I stared at the short passage. There was something there, but I couldn’t really understand it.
“Is this passage translated correctly? About his mate?” I asked Maura.
She blinked a couple of times, coming back from wherever she went to while I read.
“Hmm?”
“This thing about him dying because of his mate. Is it translated right?”
“I’m not too sure about that passage. I will look more into it if you want?”
I nodded and flipped the page to the next passage.
The stranger finally told me what he is. A phoenix. A rare being who is reborn every thousand years from their own ashes after death. He’s over seven hundred years into his lifecycle. He will die early and won’t be reborn until the start of his next life cycle. A real phoenix. We beings always say we are the stuff of legends, that we truly exist, but even we believe phoenixes are nothing more than myth. We’re wrong. They are very much real, though many have died. There is only one way to die and not be reborn again and someone who knows this secret is hunting them. This stranger will be reborn again but some of his family wasn’t so lucky.
I flipped to the next page, hoping there was more. My heart thudded painfully against my chest as I faced a reality I didn’t think was possible. I read the last few words while making a rumbling noise, the thing inside me agreeing with the knowledge this journal held.
I woke up and he was gone. Maybe he went off to die alone. I gather he has another month or so to live. Surprisingly, I feel better. Telling him my story and listening to his has taken a great weight off my shoulders. The one week with him has accomplished more than the ten years of traveling has. I’m not ready to go home yet, there is still too much to see, but I can finally see a future with me being back home and with the rest of my loved ones.
I closed the book and closed my eyes, trying to process the little bit of information I was just given.
A phoenix.
The man who kept the journal was right. Many beings were thought to only be legends before everyone came out of the woods and reclaimed Terra Firma from the humans before they destroyed everything. But even those beings didn’t believe phoenix exis
ted. I didn’t believe in them either, and I’d seen some fucked up or impossible beasts in my life in the Woodlands.
“You think I’m a phoenix?”
Maura nodded. “You show a sensitivity to energy that no one else has. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the temperature in a room you are in increases, even more so when you are feeling intense emotions. You destroyed my living room just by screaming. You have the makings of a phoenix.”
“But I’m not a bird. I don’t shift. I’m only me.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Now that we have a possibility I can do more research.”
“A phoenix.”
“Most likely.” Maura didn’t sound happy. Neither did I.
A memory of a guy came up briefly and with that image, intense pain. Mercy would have been if someone took a drill to my head instead. The intensity threatened to incapacitate me, and I grunted, squeezing my eyes tightly together.
“Nyssa, are you okay?” Maura was at my side, kneeling on the floor in front of me. When did she get there? I blinked slowly as the pain receded.
“I-I’m fine.”
She didn’t believe me, but she didn’t push me either. I flipped to the page about the phoenix’s mate. “This. Do you think this is true?”
She didn’t need to ask me for clarification because she knew what I was thinking. “Everyone has a mate.”
“And do they react like this if they lose their mate?”
She shook her head. “No. It is painful, and hard to live. The other being has to want to live otherwise they may become suicidal.”
“They have a choice.”
“Yes. Depending on where they are in life, they may choose to die. Like if all their children are already grown up and have their own family or if it was too early on.”
“But they have a choice.” I was stuck on that one little point. It was important for me to hear it.
Emergence Page 23
