She sighed and looked up at me. Her eyes were worried and couldn’t hold my gaze. I don’t understand; there was nothing she could say that would change the outcome. Chris was divorcing me. The end. Unless she was about to tell me that he had been fucking around on me, it couldn’t be too bad.
I sat up straighter, dropping my e-reader and placing the bowl of popcorn on the floor. If she was about to tell me that Chris had cheated on me and she knew about it, I was going to beat her ass and then, I was going to go find Chris and shoot his bitch ass like I should have done a couple of months ago. That best friend bullshit would go right out the window because if Ashton put loyalty to her brother over loyalty to me in this situation, then they could meet the same fate. At this point, anyone could get an ass whooping and some hot shit in their ass.
Ashton must have seen the fury building on my face. She stood slowly, raising her hands in front of her, palms out in a sign of surrender. “Hold up, Nedra. Let me explain before you jump to conclusions.”
My hands clenched into fists. “I already jumped, so you better talk fast.”
“Chris never confirmed it, but I’m pretty sure that his lack of sexual partners factored into him filing for a divorce. I think he started wanting some variety or something. I asked him, but like I said, he never confirmed it.”
Oh.
The fight drained out of me instantly. “That’s it?” Leaning over, I grabbed my bowl of popcorn and pulled my e-reader from where it slid between the cushions, sagging back against the chair. “Girl, I could have guessed that.”
Ashton exhaled and clutched at her chest. “I thought you were going to kill me!”
I looked at her like she was crazy, even though I had been prepared to do just that. “Not over some mess like that.”
She sat back down heavily and resumed scrolling on her phone. After a moment, she glanced up at me. “You already know we’re going out tonight, right?”
“Yes, Ashton. You’ve told me a half dozen times already.”
She swung her head around and arched an eyebrow at me. “Do I detect an attitude, missy?”
“Indeed you do, bitch.”
She hissed. “Ooh, so feisty today.”
I had to laugh at that as I tapped the edge of the screen to flip to a new page of the book I was reading. Ashton’s bubbly ass had been calling me feisty since forever. It was her go-to word when I was ready to square up with somebody. I guess it was her way of lightening the mood or calming me down so I didn’t trip over it because I knew that fighting made her uncomfortable. It didn’t matter who was fighting; she just didn’t like it. I honestly don’t know how we became best friends because I was always ready to fight someone. The popular quote, “If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready” was a mantra for my life.
We settled into a comfortable silence as I read my book and Ashton resumed doing whatever the fuck she was doing on her phone. It couldn’t have been more than twenty minutes before Ashton’s phone rang, startling us both. A wide grin spread across her face and she jumped up, running out of the room with the device plastered to her ear. I could hear the murmur of her voice but not the words she spoke as she held her conversation somewhere in the back of the house.
A few minutes later, she ran back into the living room and launched herself into my lap, causing me to almost fall to the floor to avoid being crushed.
I glared at her. “Seriously, Ash?”
“Shh!”
She shook her head and pointed to the phone in her hand. I quieted down and that’s when I noticed that it was ringing. She was calling someone and waiting for them to pick up. I lifted a questioning eyebrow at her, but she just winked and pursed her lips at me. I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help but smirk at my silly friend.
When the person on the other end finally answered and whoever Ashton had dialed spoke a greeting, my smile dropped off of my face.
“What up, baby sis!” Chris’s voice sounded clear and even normal as if nothing was wrong in his world. I turned my head to the side and looked away from Ashton, wondering why she even brought her phone call with him to my lap like this.
“Hey, boo, I’m just calling to remind you that I’ll be MIA this weekend and you’re my emergency contact, so keep your phone on at all times.”
I whipped my head back in her direction. Why was she going to be MIA? It was my understanding that we would be attending almost all of the All-Star festivities together. Did that change without her telling me? And since when was Chris her emergency contact? That honor had belonged to her and Chris’s mama since we were kids. What the hell was she talking about?
“Where the hell will you be this weekend?” Chris’s confusion echoed my own.
Ashton rolled her eyes toward me and shook her head. “Duh, Christopher. It’s All-Star weekend. I will be…occupied.”
I covered my mouth to stifle my giggle as the sound of Chris dry heaving floated up through the phone’s speaker.
“Why did you have to say the word ‘occupied’ like that?” He sounded disgusted and even though he was the last person whose voice I wanted to hear, I found it funny how Ashton was teasing him.
My dramatic friend huffed. “Because you’re acting dense as if you don’t know what people do during this fantastical annual celebration.”
I could just picture Chris shaking his head at his younger sister before he replied with, “I know what people do during All-Star weekend, Ash. They watch the games. That doesn’t sound like what you’re talking about, though, and to be honest, I’m sickened by what you’re implying. If you don’t mind, I’d like to change the subject.”
I rolled my eyes. Did Chris always used to sound this…condescending? I guess it was safe to say that my rose-colored glasses had been removed.
“Fine,” Ashton huffed in my lap and I gave her a side-eye. I didn’t want to make my presence known to Chris, but I wanted to know why she thought having this conversation right here was a good idea.
“Don’t forget about the emergency contact thing, okay?”
Oh yeah, and that was questionable as well. I had no idea what the hell this girl was doing. What could it be? I was tempted to whisper it to her, but Chris interrupted my thoughts.
“Yeah, yeah. I got it. You know traffic is about to be a beast. Why would you even risk going downtown?” He sounded so dismissive of her that I became annoyed. Ashton grew up in Houston; she could navigate the traffic without it being made into a big deal. Damn, was Chris always such an asshole?
Ashton sucked her teeth and held the phone closer to her mouth. “It’s a risk worth taking, Chris. This is All-Star weekend! Everyone who is anyone is going to be in Houston, and I’m trying to secure the bag!”
I chuckled silently at her exuberance, and Chris laughed before speaking. “Ash, I know you were a thot for Halloween, but I didn’t know you were making it a lifestyle change.”
There were muffled noises coming through the phone that sounded like Chris was trying to hold in his laughter, but that corny shit wasn’t even funny. My eyebrows rose and Ashton sucked in a breath. Ooh, she didn’t like that one.
Her top lip curled, and her eyes narrowed as she stared off into the distance. “Oh yeah, there is another reason why I’m risking the crowds this weekend.”
Her voice had taken on a sinister edge that made me curiously excited.
“Word?” Chris’s questioned response sounded like he was as curious to hear her comeback as I was.
In all of the years that I had known Chris and Ashton, they were always clapping on each other. Although Chris could be corny, rarely was Ashton able to best him. I didn’t expect this time to be any different until she said, “My sister is going through a divorce and I’ve taken it upon myself to find her a big, rich dick to sit on until she feels better.”
“Oh shit,” I breathed in a low whisper, not even thinking about being heard. I definitely had not expected that, but I was proud as fuck. Ashton was fighting dirty because that was sure as
shit a low blow.
This time, Chris didn’t echo my sentiment as he yelped out an angry, “What the fuck, Ash?! You know I don’t want to hear that shit!”
Ashton stood up from the couch quickly and yelled into the phone as if her brother was standing right in front of her. “DON’T CALL ME A MUTHAFUCKIN HOE THEN, NIGGA!” Her screeching had my eyebrows in my hairline. Damn, she was really mad about that thot comment.
“Chill the fuck out, Ashton! It ain’t that damn serious, and I didn’t call you a hoe.” His voice had calmed considerably as he attempted to placate Ashton, and I imagined that he was surprised by the level of ire that his normally easygoing sister possessed at that moment.
“Yes, the hell you did! What do you think a thot is?”
He was quiet for a moment, and I couldn’t decide if it was because he was thinking of a lie or because he genuinely didn’t know. “I don’t know; a gold digger or something.”
I heard the honesty in his voice, and I rolled my eyes at his idiocy.
Ashton was unamused. “Thot is an acronym for That Hoe Over There.”
“Seriously?”
I almost laughed aloud at his incredulity. What a fucking idiot.
Ashton huffed into the phone. “How about your old ass do some research the next time you want to pick up some slang from your students.”
I nodded in agreement with that statement. Chris was so busy trying to be the “cool teacher” that he was making a fool of himself with little shit like this. And how the hell didn’t he know what it meant? If you hear your students use a word that you know isn’t in the dictionary, have them give you the definition and use it in a sentence. Call it a teaching moment or something, but educate yourself.
When he spoke again, he sounded remorseful, and I couldn’t help but notice that that particular tone had been missing on the night he asked for a divorce. How can a man be sorry about accidentally calling his sister a hoe but not be sorry that he secretly filed for a divorce from his wife?
Yeah…sitting and listening to this conversation had been a bad idea. I knew it would be, but I was just so damn nosy. But just like I felt like shit right now, I had to remember that curiosity killed the cat. I don’t know what Ashton’s intentions were when she made that phone call, but I should have shut it down as soon as I heard Chris’s voice come on the line.
I got off the couch and left Ashton in the living room to continue her phone call with her brother.
A short time later, Ashton appeared in the doorway of the bathroom and stood there watching me as I looked through my makeup bag for colors I wanted to wear that evening.
“You’re mad at me.” It wasn’t a question because she knew the answer already. I didn’t say anything, just continued to rifle through my lipstick tubes.
“I’m sorry.” She scooted into the room and hugged me from the side. I stopped pretending to ignore her and gave her a hard stare in the mirror.
“What was the point of all of that, Ash?”
Her thin shoulders lifted and fell. “I was just trying to help.” At my disbelieving look, she hurried to clarify her statement. “I figured that if Chris thought you were going to meet someone new that he would be jealous and want to stay married.”
I guess I could see the logic in her thought process. Maybe something like that would work for another couple, but Ashton failed to take into consideration that her brother had never been a jealous person when it came to me. From the moment I met him, I’d been a sure thing. He knew I didn’t have eyes for anyone else, so he never had anything to be insecure about. I didn’t want to think about why I was sad to know that my husband had never been jealous over me.
I sighed. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Ashton. I really do, but I think it’s time for you to accept that nothing is going to keep me and Chris together. He doesn’t care enough about me for something like that to work.”
She didn’t respond to that. What could she have said? There was nothing to say. After a moment of silence, I resumed going through my bag and Ashton disappeared. Unable to concentrate, I set the bag down and went to put away the things that I’d left in the living room. Once the room was clear and I’d straightened the cushions, I went to pull out my outfit for that night. There were about two hours until the time we’d decided to leave, and I was restless.
I thought about the whole conversation between Ashton and Chris. Not once did he ask about me. He knew that she was staying with me, and with me moving out, he had no idea what the status of my living situation was, and yet…nothing. No concern for how I was holding up, no instructions for Ashton to look out for me. Just…radio silence.
He really didn’t give a fuck about me.
Even if he didn’t love me romantically anymore if he cared about me at all, he would at least try to make sure that I was okay. He might have had time to mentally disconnect himself from me, but this had been sudden for me. It hadn’t been easy to completely shut off the faucet of my love, but with every day that went by and I saw just how much of a piece of shit Chris was, the flow got thinner and thinner.
I looked at my clothes laying on the bed and finally figured out what makeup I wanted to wear. I went back into the bathroom and started to pull out the items I had in mind. I always did my makeup before getting dressed. I washed my face and started beating my face.
“I don’t remember if I told you this, but I love that short haircut on you.”
I stopped applying my lipstick and met Ashton’s eyes in the mirror. “Thanks, boo.” There was a contemplative expression on her face so I waited to see if she would say something else.
She still hadn’t given me “the talk” I had been expecting, and there had been no tears, which was a surprise. That one question earlier couldn’t have been it for her. Ashton had wanted me and Chris to get together almost as much as I did and because she and I were as close as sisters, she probably had a lot invested in our marriage and the success of our relationship. Her chest rose with a deep inhalation and I braced myself for the onslaught of whatever she was holding in.
“I’m sorry.”
Nothing else followed those two words and I blinked. “Bish, whet?”
She shook her head, and her eyes became glassy. Noooo! I didn’t need her to start crying right now! If she started crying then I would surely follow right behind her, and I was sick to death of crying over my failed relationship.
“I’m serious, Ned. I feel like this is my fault too.”
I spun around and faced her. She stood in the doorway of the singular shoebox of a bathroom, dressed to the gawds in an azure strapless dress that left none of her slender curves to the imagination. The sides of the dress were made of strings crisscrossing all the way down, exposing thick swaths of the same light, red-brown skin she shared with her brother. Her relaxed honey-brown hair was shiny and glossy, brushing her shoulders in a straight bob. Her face was beat; lipstick and eyeshadow matching the striking blue of her dress. When had she done her makeup? How long had I been lost in my thoughts?
But my friend’s pretty face was crinkled into a pout, and I had to frown at her words.
“Are you really going to make this shit about you, Ash? Really?”
“No! That’s not what I’m doing.”
I sucked my teeth. “That’s what it sounds like. Your brother is divorcing me, and here you go saying it’s your fault. Do you hear what I’m saying? That’s what I hear.”
“Nedra!” She cried my name desperately. “I said that because I feel like I pushed y’all to get together, so in a roundabout way, this is my fault.”
I stared at her. Her face was twisted in agony. This damn girl was serious. Being in California had turned her into the stereotypical, airhead valley girl. I couldn’t believe it and had to laugh. She gaped at me and her mouth hung open.
“If you don’t shut your ass up. This mess is between me and Chris; it has nothing to do with you at all. Seriously, Ashton, unless you dragged Chris to a lawyer and physically
forced him to file those papers then this is in no way your fault.”
The dramatic way that her shoulders collapsed in obvious relief concerned me. “Did you think I would blame you?”
She hesitated and wrung her fingers together. “I…wasn’t sure.”
I cocked my head and stared at her hard. “What kind of idiot do you think I am? Why would I place any responsibility for my marriage on your shoulders? What sense does that make? Especially when I haven’t done that once in the entire time that Chris and I have been together. Not even in college.” There had to be something else. Her statements felt deeper than some misplaced sense of responsibility.
“Welllll…” The word dragged for at least fifteen l’s, further annoying me. Her eyes flitted about the room, and I wondered if I was going to have to smack her to make her spit it out. “Chris told me how you were going to shoot him and…”
My eyes widened. So his bitch ass went and tattled on me to Ashton? Wow.
“When did he tell you that?” More than two months had passed since that night, and Ashton hadn’t brought this up before. Did he tell her on the phone earlier after I had stepped out of the room?
Ashton winced and I knew instantly that she knew before tonight.
“He, uh…he called me that night and told me.”
Surprised, I jerked back, my butt hitting the counter. “That night? The night he told me he wanted a divorce?” I was in disbelief. She knew about it this whole time and never asked me about it? I wasn’t mad that she’d never brought it up, but that didn’t seem like something she would be able to keep to herself.
She nodded. “Yeah. He called me, crying because he thought he’d driven you crazy. He really thought you were going to shoot him. I had to calm him down and convince him that you weren’t going to shoot him for real.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Uh, no bitch. I was definitely going to shoot his ass.”
Ashton sputtered and grabbed the door frame. “No, you weren’t!”
I propped a hand on my hip. “Yes, the fuck I was. He was gon’ get some street cred that night with his punk ass.”
To Buy a Vow Page 9
