We’re now a chain of lovers link’d in death;
Julia goes first, Gonsalvo hangs on her,
And Angelina hangs upon Gonsalvo,
As I on Angelina.
No scene, I believe, ever received greater honours than this. It was applauded by several encores, a word very unusual in tragedy. And it was very difficult for the actors to escape without a second slaughter. This I take to be a lively assurance of that fierce spirit of liberty which remains among us, and which Mr Dryden, in his essay on Dramatick Poetry, hath observed: “Whether custom,” says he, “hath so insinuated itself into our countrymen, or nature hath so formed them to fierceness, I know not; but they will scarcely suffer combats and other objects of horror to be taken from them.” And indeed I am for having them encouraged in this martial disposition; nor do I believe our victories over the French have been owing to anything more than to those bloody spectacles daily exhibited in our tragedies, of which the French stage is so intirely clear. ]
RAPE UPON RAP E
OR, THE JUSTICE CAUGHT IN HIS OWN TRAP, OR, THE COFFEE-HOUSE POLITICIAN
First performed at the Haymarket Theatre on 23 June 1730, this comedy depicts the corruption rampant in politics and the justice system and how two characters, who are accused of rape, deal with the corrupt judge in different ways. Though the play was influenced by the rape case of Colonel Francis Charteris, it uses the theme of rape as an allegory to describe all abuses of freedom, as well as the corruption of power, though it was meant in a farcical manner. The play was not as successful as Tom Thumb, which ran alongside Rape upon Rape. Contemporary critics both praised and lampooned the play, but they generally agreed that the humour is unsuitable because it is “indelicate” in theme.
The play opens with a prologue describing the origins of the heroic Muse, who uses satire in order to deal with those who are villains. However, she is not limited to satire, and the heroic Muse is said to provoke individuals towards the destruction of evil in general. Fielding then introduces a traditional comedic love plot in which Hilaret contemplates running off and marrying Constant. Her father, Politic, stops her from running off with Constant in order to argue about the role of private and public concerns in regards to love. Their discussion serves as a model for the actions surrounding Justice Squeezum and Justice Worthy, particularly Justice Squeezum’s corruption when it comes to the judicial system and the play promotes the need for virtue within public and private settings.
The original title page
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ
ACT I.
ACT II.
ACT III.
ACT IV.
ACT V.
EPILOGUE
The Theatre Royal Haymarket in the City of Westminster dates back to 1720.
Inside the theatre, c.1805
PROLOGUE
SPOKEN BY MR. MILWARD
IN ancient Greece, the infant Muse’s school,
Where vice first felt the pen of ridicule,
With honest freedom and impartial blows
The Muse attacked each vice as it arose:
No grandeur could the mighty villain screen
From the just satire of the comic scene:
Nor titles could the daring poet cool,
Nor save the great right honourable fool.
They spared not even the aggressor’s name.
And public villainy felt public shame.
Long hath this generous method been disused,
For vice hath grown too great to be abused;
By power defended from the piercing dart,
It reigns, and triumphs in the lordly heart;
While beaus, and cits, and squires, our scenes afford,
Justice preserves the rogues who wield her sword;
All satire against her tribunal’s quash’d,
Nor lash the bards, for fear of being lash’d.
But the heroic Muse, who sings to-night,
Through these neglected tracts attempts her flight.
Vice, clothed with power, she combats with her pen,
And, fearless, dares the lion in his den.
Then only reverence to power is due,
When public welfare is its only view:
But when the champions, whom the public arm
For their own good with power, attempt their harm,
He sure must meet the general applause,
“Who ‘gainst those traitors fights the public cause.
And while these scenes the conscious knave displease,
Who feels within the criminal he sees,
The uncorrupt and good must smile, to find
No mark for satire in his generous mind.
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ
MEN
WORTHY — Mr. Ogden.
SQUEEZUM — Mr. Hippisley.
POLITIC — Mr. Chapman.
RAMBLE — Mr. Walker.
CONSTANT — Mr. Milward.
SOTMORE — Mr. Hulett.
DABBLE — Mr. Ray.
QUILL — Mr. Bullock.
STAFF — Mr. Hall.
PORER — Mr. Maclean.
FAITHFUL — Mr. Houghton.
WOMEN
HILARET — Mrs. Younger.
ISABELLA — Mrs. Boheme.
MRS. SQUEEZUM — Mrs. Bullock.
MRS. STAFF — Mrs. Kilby.
CLORIS — Mrs. Stephens.
Evidences, Watch, etc.
SCENE, LONDON
ACT I.
SCENE I.
A Parlour in POLITICOS House. A table spread with newspapers. Chairs.
HILARET, CLORIS.
HILARET. Well, Cloris, this is a mad frolic. I am horribly frighted at the thoughts of throwing myself into the power of a young fellow.
CLORIS. It is natural to us to be frighted at first: I was in a little terror myself on my wedding-day, but it went all off before the next morning. A husband, like other bugbears, loses all his horror when we once know him thoroughly.
HILARET. But if he should not prove a good husband —
CLORIS. Then you must not prove a good wife — If he keep a mistress, do you keep a gallant; if he stay out with his friends at a tavern, do you be merry with your friends at home.
HILARET. You give fine advice indeed.
CLORIS. Upon my word, madam, it was such as I followed myself. I had a rogue of a husband that robbed me of all I had, and kept a mistress under my nose: but I was even with him; for it hath been ever my opinion, that a husband, like a courtier, who is above doing the duties of his office, should keep a deputy.
HILARET. But suppose you had been in love with your husband?
CLORIS. Why so I was, madam, as long as he deserved it: but love, like fire, naturally goes out when it hath nothing to feed on.
HILARET. Well, if it be possible to be assured of a lover’s sincerity, I think I may be assured of Constant: at least it is advisable to persuade myself of his truth whom I should love, though he wanted it: — Ah, Cloris! you may as easily remove a rock as a woman’s passion —
CLORIS. And yet it is very often built on a sandy foundation.
HILARET. Love is the same, whatever be its object: we as often like men for imaginary as real perfections; we all look through a prismatic glass in love, and whatever beauties we have once fancied we never lose the opinion of — our amorous faith is as implicit as our religious.
CLORIS. If I have any judgment in mankind, and I am sure I have had some experience in them, your passion could have been no where better fixed: Captain Constant hath all the qualities any woman can desire. He hath youth, beauty, vigour, gallantry, constancy, and, as Mr. Cowley says, a long, &c.
SCENE II.
POLITIC, HILARET, CLORIS.
POLITIC. Ay, there it goes, tick tack, tick tack, like the pendulum of a clock. What mischief are you hatching, hey? — It is impossible that two women should be together without producing mischief.
CLORIS. I always thought a ma
n and woman the more likely to produce mischief: and yet I think them the properer company.
POLITIC. I suppose you will tell my daughter so too.
HILARET. Indeed, papa, she need not: for I was always of that opinion.
POLITIC. You was! but I shall prevent your wishes —
HILARET. You may be mistaken. [Aside.
POLITIC. I do not believe the head of Cardinal Fleury can be more perplexed than mine is with this girl. To govern yourself is greater than to govern a kingdom, said an old philosopher: and to govern a woman is greater than to govern twenty kingdoms.
HILARET. I wish you would not perplex yourself with cardinals or kingdoms; I wish you would mind your own business instead of the public’s; dear papa, don’t give your self any more trouble about Don Carlos, unless you can get him for a son-in-law.
POLITIC. Not if I were a king. I will make you a little sensible who Don Carlos is —
HILARET. Nay, I do not understand one word of your politics.
POLITIC. I am sorry you do not — A newspaper would be a more profitable entertainment for you than a romance. You would find more in one half-sheet than in the grand Cyrus.
HILARET. More lies, very probably — You know I do read the home paragraphs in the Whitehall Evening Post: and that’s the best of them.
POLITIC. If you would be informed in these matters, you must read all that come out: about forty every day, and some days fifty: and, of a Saturday, about fourscore. Would you continue in such a course but one twelvemonth, I do not question but you might know as much of politics as — any man that comes to our coffee-house. And I had rather see you a politician than a woman of quality.
HILARET. If I may speak freely, it would have been better for me that you had been less a politician.
POLITIC. You are deceived, very much deceived; but some fool hath put this into your head. You may live to see me one of the greatest men in England. Did I not say at the siege of Gibraltar that, within one three years, we should see whether we should have peace or no. And yet I am an Ignoramus; I know nothing, I warrant you; I had better have continued a merchant, no doubt: but then what had become of my projects? Where had been all those twenty different schemes which I have now ready to lay before the parliament, greatly for my own honour, and the interest of my country? Harkye, I have contrived a method to pay off the debts of the nation, without a penny of money.
HILARET. And you will not get a penny by it, I dare swear.
POLITIC. No, no, no, certainly: though I would not take twenty thousand pounds for the advantage which will arise to me from it. It hath lain these three years in a friend’s hands of mine of the House of Commons; who assured me, not many days ago, that it should be taken shortly into consideration, though he believed it could not be this session.
HILARET. Nor this age, I am confident. [Aside.
POLITIC. And how do you think it is to be compassed? why, by procuring a machine to carry ships by land about a hundred miles: and so prosecute the East India trade through the Mediterranean.
HILARET. I wish you success, sir: but I must take my leave of you, for it grows very late: so good night, papa.
[Exit.
SCENE III.
POLITIC. [Solus.] I cannot rest for these preparations of the Turks: what can be their design? — It must be against the emperor. Ay, ay, we shall have another campaign in Hungary. I wish we may feel no other effect from them. Should the Turkish galleys once find a passage through the Straits, who can tell the consequence? I hope I shall not live to see that day.
SCENE IV.
POLITIC, DABBLE.
DABBLE. We are all -undone, neighbour Politic! all blown up! all ruined!
POLITIC. Protect US — what is the matter? No news of the Turks, I hope!
DABBLE. An express is arrived with an account of the Dauphin’s death.
POLITIC. Worse and worse — This is a finishing stroke, indeed! Mr. Dabble, I take this visit exceeding kind — pray be pleased to sit: we must confabulate on this important accident. — Pray light your pipe: — I wish this may not retard the introduction of Don Carlos into Italy.
DABBLE. I wish it may.
POLITIC. How!
DABBLE. I wish Don Carlos do not prove a more formidable power than is imagined.
POLITIC. Don Carlos a formidable power, Mr. Dabble?
DABBLE. I wish we do not find him so.
POLITIC. Sir, I look on Don Carlos to be an errant blank in the affairs of Europe — and let me observe to you, the Turks give much greater uneasiness than Don Carlos can; what the design of their preparations can be is difficult to determine. — This I know, that I know nothing of the matter.
DABBLE. I think we have no need to travel so far for apprehensions, when danger is so near us: the prospect of affairs in the West is so black, that I see no reason to regard the East: the monstrous power which Don Carlos may be possessed of by the death of the Dauphin —
POLITIC. Rather, the monstrous power which the emperor may be possessed of.
DABBLE. The emperor — ah! [Both shake their heads at one another.
POLITIC. Don Carlos truly! —
DABBLE. I would fain ask one question, Mr. Politic. Pray, how large do you take Tuscany to be? —
POLITIC. How large do I take Tuscany to be — let me see — Tuscany, ay; how large do I take it to be. hum — Faithful! — bring some more tobacco. How large do I take it to be — why, truly, I take it to be about as large as the kingdom of France — or something larger.
DABBLE. AS large as the kingdom of France — you might as well compare this tobacco pipe to a cannon. Why, Tuscany, sir, is only a town, a garrison to be admitted into Tuscany; that is, into the town of Tuscany —
POLITIC. Sir, I will convince you of your error. Here, Faithful, bring a map of Europe hither.
DABBLE. I did not think, Mr. Politic, you had been so ignorant in geography.
POLITIC. I believe I know as much as you, or any one, of it.
SCENE V.
POLITIC, DABBLE, FAITHFUL.
FAITHFUL. Sir, sir, your daughter is gone out of the house, no one knows whither.
POLITIC. And give me leave to tell you, sir, I wish your own ignorance in public affairs doth not appear to our cost.
DABBLE. Sir, I wish you would send for the map.
POLITIC. Map me no maps, sir, my head is a map, a map of the whole world.
FAITHFUL. Sir, your daughter —
DABBLE. If your head be a map, it is a very erroneous one.
POLITIC. Sir, I would not have called Tuscany a town in a coffee-house, to have been master of it.
DABBLE. Nor I have compared it to France, to have been king of both.
SCENE VI.
POLITIC, DABBLE, FAITHFUL, PORER.
PORER. Great news, gentlemen, all’s safe again.
POLITIC. More deaths?
PORER. An express is arrived with a certain account of the Dauphin’s being in good health.
DABBLE. This is good news indeed.
POLITIC. IS there a certain confirmation?
PORER. Very certain — I came this moment from the Secretary’s office.
POLITIC. Dear Mr. Porer, you are the welcomest man alive — This news makes me the happiest creature living.
FAITHFUL. I wish, sir, my news may not prevent it. Your daughter, sir, Miss Hilaret, is gone out of the house, and no one knows whither.
POLITIC. My daughter gone! that is some allay to my happiness, I confess: but the loss of twenty daughters would not balance the recovery of the Dauphin. — However, gentlemen, you will excuse me, I must go inquire into this affair.
DABBLE. Be not concerned at any thing, after what you have heard: let the private give way to the public ever. [Exeunt.
SCENE VII
The Street
SOTMORE, RAMBLE.
SOTMORE. “Why, thou wilt not leave us yet, and sneak away to some nasty little whore? A pox confound them, they have spoiled so many of my companions, and forced me to bed
sober at three o’clock in the morning so often — that if the whole sex were going to the devil, I would drink a bumper to their good journey.
RAMBLE. And I would go thither along with them. The dear charming creatures! Woman! It is the best word that ever was invented. There’s music, there’s magic in it. Mark Antony knew well to lay out his money, and when he gave the world for a woman — he bought a lumping pennyworth.
SOTMORE. If he had given it for a hogshead of good claret, I would have commended the purchase more.
RAMBLE. Wine is only the prologue to love: it only serves to raise our expectations. The bottle is but a passport to the bed of pleasure. Brutes drink to quench their appetites — but lovers to inflame them.
Complete Fictional Works of Henry Fielding Page 258
