The United States of Rebellia
Page 27
Speaking of Jasper’s son, I had not seen or heard from Meagan and the George family for a few months. When the crazy news story broke... about the house burning down, I was so shocked. I wondered what happened, and all of the news outlets eventually confirmed that the fire was started by one of the two that died in the fire. I thought that maybe the husband found out the kid wasn’t his and went crazy, burning down the house and killing them in it. A few weeks later, a woman who chose to remain anonymous came forward to reveal to the world that she had a one night stand with Bernard which may have caused the incident. Maybe his wife found out and snapped. She was dead and her husband too. Her children didn’t have their parents anymore, so I could only imagine what those kids were going through. So sad. Eventually, it came out that Bernard was tied to the bed while being burned to death. Damn. Imagine going out like that. That pretty much confirmed that Meagan was responsible and that this was a murder-suicide. That lady really killed herself to avoid what was coming to her when that baby started to look more and more like Jasper. As time went by, that conversation we had at Jasper’s funeral replayed over and over in my head. I felt a little bit responsible for what she did. She did that because I put her on the spot. I knew her secret, and maybe she thought I would pass that information around… I would’ve eventually, but damn. Although the police seemed to be occupied with other crimes including Meagan’s arson, I still felt paranoid and sad about killing Jasper. It’s like I was starting to feel guilty because I still didn’t get caught months later. I felt partly responsible for the death of Meagan and her husband. I was responsible for the death of Jasper and being worried about the police caused me to be responsible for my unborn child’s death. My conscience wasn’t going to hold on for too long. It was only a matter of time before I went to turn myself in. Maybe if I dealt with the consequences, my spirit would feel better. Maybe if I answered for my crimes on Earth, God would take mercy on my soul.
I couldn’t live anymore. I started to have mental breakdowns and I dabbled in drugs to quell these mental breakdowns. God hates me. That thought was tattooed to my brain. God hated me. Something wasn’t right. I was scared to death of everything. I hated going outside because I felt like something bad would happen to me. I was battling against God at this point. I could just walk down the street and bam, hit by a car. Or boom, shot by a stray bullet -a poetic ending for me after my crime.
I put too much negative energy in the universe. All of that negative energy was coming back tenfold. I felt it every morning when I woke up and every night before I closed my eyes. If I could go back and change the way things went down, I would. Maybe that would save more than Jasper’s life. It would save mine as well. I should’ve thought about my own future when I was planning on going through with shooting them. In that instant, I thought that if I was able to not get caught, I would be alright. I would be able to hurt them both and get away with it. I’ll be able to start a new life with a new man and maybe move to a new city. Things are easier said than done.
I went to the precinct to turn myself in after about two more months. I couldn’t live with myself any longer. Getting baptized didn’t work because I still felt darkness surrounding me everywhere I went. I still had nightmares where the cold dead hands of Jasper and Meagan pulled me into an abyss. Other nights I hear the cries of my unborn child before waking up. Having those things reoccurring in your dreams is torture. As soon as I pulled up to the precinct, I thought about it. This isn’t the right choice, I thought to myself. I made the quick U-turn to go through with plan B. At that moment, my only thought was… why go through jail on my way to hell? I might as well go straight to my fate.
The view was incredible from atop one of the tallest buildings in Charlotte -I’ll let you guess which one it was. A quick death is something I needed after what I been through over the past couple of months, and I hoped that it wouldn’t hurt too bad when I-
I wasted no time because security was right behind me. They chased me all the way up to the roof, but I was determined. I already jumped before they could stop me. There was no going back now. My legs kicked out and my arms flailed in the air as I fell. The sound of my rapid heartbeat battled with the howls of the wind and the shouts of the people that saw me jump. Honks of the many cars below soon were added into the mix as the sidewalk grew.
The gray sidewalk got bigger and bigger before it smacked me square in the face... I died a quick, painful death.
* * *
“Whoa!” Rebellia said, “Okay, first of all… you shot and killed someone.”
“Unfortunately,” Vivian said, looking down at the ground.
“Second… you shot that Jasper guy? You were dating him? I thought he was gay?”
“Wait, what?” Vivian said, “Why would you think that?”
“That’s what he and that Meagan chick told Benny,” Rebellia said.
“Wait, who’s Benny? Bernard? Wow…” Vivian paused, eyes wide. She shook her head in disbelief. “Jasper Moon wasn’t gay. Trust me. He and that wench probably lied to protect themselves from getting caught. Wow. I can’t believe he would say that? You know what? I could- Wait. No, don’t try to distract me. I told you my secret, reveal one of yours.”
“Heh… I wasn’t trying to distract you, but whatever.” Rebellia said, leaning closer. She whispered into Vivian’s ear, and Vivian’s eyes widened for a split second after the whisper stopped. Rebellia took a step back to grasp Vivian’s short-lived shocked reaction.
“Wow… I always thought your name was America or something…” Vivian said.
“Really?” Rebellia’s face tightened, “Why?”
“I don’t know. Irony,” Vivian shrugged as laughter built up inside of her.
“That would have been ironic,” Rebellia smiled.
The two women walked and talked for the rest of their journey until their destination was in plain sight. The sanctuary looked different in Rebellia’s teary eyes. Tears were welling up in her eyes upon looking at the place she called home. The memory of the day she and Faye discovered it hovered into her mind, but she fought it off, trying not to remember too much. She focused on what was in front of her. The building seemed emptier, although she was pretty sure more people were inside it now than when she left. She wiped away any tears that were coming before a smile grew on her face.
“I’m home,” she said, exchanging looks with Vivian before walking closer to the large building with the mural painted on its side, and vines coming down from above the mural it wore. She hadn’t recognized their growth, but the vines were much closer to the mural than they were the last time she paid attention to them. She felt a bit nervous, seeing a couple of the tables outside the building occupied. Both Daphne’s and Tobias’ hair stood out among the crowd.
As they walked closer to the sanctuary, Tobias was the first to spot them. He sat at one of the tables and stopped his conversation to run over to her. After seeing what Tobias was doing, more and more people ran after him. Daphne, Devonte, Maria, Quentin, and Abraham were part of the human stampede making their way to Vivian and Rebellia. Sonia didn’t budge from her seat at the table however. She only sat and watched with a hint of a bitter smile on her face as everyone left her behind.
“Brace yourself,” Vivian said.
“You’re finally home!” Tobias shouted as he wrapped his arms around Rebellia. A group hug began to grow as more and more people joined in.
“Welcome back, Rebellia!” Daphne said.
“We missed you.” Devonte said.
“Glad to see you’re okay,” a guy Rebellia didn’t recognize said, but he was talking to Vivian, not her.
“I don’t know how Vivian managed to do it,” Maria said, “but she did it. She got you out of that state.”
“It wasn’t me,” Vivian said, “when I got there, she was already standing up and moving on her own.”
“Wait… where’s Patricia?” Quentin asked, looking around.
“Sadly, Patricia has left us… I
’ll tell you about it later,” Rebellia said when she was released from the hugs. Her eyes were glued to the sky as she said it, and she looked away from the clear sky to see the shocked and saddened faces around her, “I’m happy for her though. She deserved her happily ever after. Now if you all will excuse me, I need to find someone to fix my hair now that Faye isn’t here anymore.”
“I didn’t want to be the one to point it out,” Tobias said, “but that is very much needed. Your hair looks like mine a little bit. But at least my hair is wild by design, yours is just… eww.”
“Thanks, Tobias,” Rebellia said, straight faced and walking towards the building.
Almost everyone celebrated as they walked towards the sanctuary behind her. Tobias and Quentin cheered, Maria’s smile mirrored Devonte’s as Daphne went to hug him out of sheer excitement, Larissa smiled, Jabari smiled, Vivian joined in on Tobias and Quentin’s loud cheers, Rebellia walked past Sonia without much of a glance.
“Sonia, aren’t you excited?” Tobias shouted, “Rebellia’s back!”
“I am,” Sonia stood up and dusted herself off, “I can safely assume that we all are. We’re glad to have you back, Rebellia!”
Rebellia paused. She didn’t even realize she was still wearing Orion’s gloves until that very moment when she stretched her hands for a quick second. She turned around to look at Sonia… the smile she wore caught Sonia by surprise.
“I’m glad to be back,” Rebellia said before turning around. She continued to walk, and everyone followed her into the sanctuary with smiles on their faces.
Chapter 16 (What happens on Earth...)
“You’re nobody until somebody kills you.”
A wise man by the name of Gil Scott-Heron once said the revolution will not be televised… I didn’t know what that meant when I was a child and I heard my dad playing the song he sang it on one day -but now I think I know. The revolution will not be televised because the news won’t cover it. The revolution won’t even make it to the first page of the newspaper. It won’t be televised because the signal will be lost during this prophesied revolution. Even if -by chance- it was televised, the attention span of the future generations of people won’t be long enough to be a part of it long enough. They’ll most likely change the channel before it’s all said and done, but who am I to judge? I’m no better than you. I like my distractions from all of the crazy things that happens on Earth just like everybody else.
That is true, however, I am no longer in a position where I can just look for a quick distraction. I have a lot of people depending on me, and although I am not their leader, they see something in me that tells me that I need to be strong for them. I can’t allow them to see me broken again. My time under that tree went on long enough and I felt bad for myself for way too long. I’m here now surrounded by the same people that believe in my vision. I’m here surrounded by nothing but people who love me. In my darkest hour, they let me know they were there for me. It’s nice to feel like you’re needed, and more people needs to know how that feels.
Over the years, I’ve began to notice a pattern during my time on Earth. I began to notice that humans have this very unhealthy love for necrophilia. That love for the dead plants a seed in people’s minds that tells them they won’t get the love or recognition they deserve until they pass away. Why is that? Why won’t people give you your flowers while you’re still alive to see or smell them? You’re nobody until somebody kills you, and that’s a motto that shouldn’t be as relevant as it is. Death brings a person this status -this legendary status that cannot be achieved while you’re alive and it’s sad. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with reflecting on a person who has passed, and remembering them in a good light, but as Vincent once said, ‘Tomorrow’s never promised, so what’s the point of waiting?’
Did I have to die for you people to love and adore me? Would I have been a compelling character if I wasn’t dead? If this story took place on Earth, and all of the characters were alive and well, would they have your sympathy? Would you care for Devonte had it not been for his illness at such a young age? Would you care for Patricia had she not been through what she been through? Larissa came up to me the other day and asked if she could tell her story at a future bonfire, do you care about her now, or will you have to wait until you feel sorry for her after hearing the gruesome details that her story has to offer? I ask these questions to challenge your mind and make you think about things that you probably wouldn’t normally think about otherwise.
Life is full of ups and downs, but the roller coaster doesn’t last forever. All those good times, you’re having will end. But also all the bad times will have to end someday too. Life is all about balance. Balance is also how I’ve stayed in this world so long. I’m no angel, Orion was right when he alluded to that. I’ve done bad things to make God think twice about calling me up. That’s because I’ve seen firsthand what being nice all the time can do to you in this world. When the good outweighs the bad by a wide margin, you’re more likely to be called into God’s kingdom. Pretty similar to what happens on Earth… the good ones are always the first to go.
I only mention the word God, not because of the religion I was forced into. I mention the word God to put a name to whatever is out there waiting for us. I don’t know its true name, so I just settle for the word that we usually associate with a supreme being. I don’t know what the supreme being looks like, but I know it’s out there. I’m not forcing anyone to think the way I do. Just keep your faith in whatever deity you believe in -if any- and don’t force your beliefs on anyone else because nobody truly knows which belief is correct.
Daphne has revealed to me that she remembers her life and death. She wants to tell her story one day, but not any time soon. Who knows? Maybe she’ll change her mind and tell her story sooner rather than later. She’s still holding on to that squirrel that she’s found in the forest… well, not really. It just never left. She has tried to leave it somewhere in the forest a couple of times, but it keeps on finding its way back. It’s pretty funny. Oh yeah, she revealed something that almost blew my mind, but left me more confused than anything. She revealed to me that she was born in the twenty-second century… which is strange because that’s way after Vincent and Maria’s lives ended. How is it that she, Maria and Vincent woke up here at practically the same time? What year is it currently back on Earth? For Maria and Vincent to wake up here at the same time as Daphne means that their consciousness had to be somewhere else for an extended period of time after their death… but a quick theory entered my mind… what if Daphne’s life didn’t begin yet, and everything that she remembers is her future? Let me not think too hard about that because I’ll be racking my brain for the rest of my existence until I get the answers.
Devonte hasn’t spoken about his brother, or parents in a long time, but I hope he hasn’t forgotten them. Well, maybe that’s for the best… until they get here. In the meantime, he’s got Maria to fill the void. Daphne and Devonte are developing this brother-sister bond thanks to Maria. This means that they fight from time to time which Maria enjoys. She may not act like it, but she loves getting in the middle of their little arguments because it reminds her of what she once had.
Tobias has seemed to learn more about his life and the pieces are put together much better than his scrambled mind once was. He knew about his brother already, but he remembered a sister that he once had. Her name is Charlotte, but everybody calls her Charlie for short. He revealed to me that his sister was a lunatic. She tried to burn their brother alive after finding out that he was gay… Aw man, I might have spoiled a crazy moment in Tobias’s upcoming story, but there’s way more craziness when it comes to Tobias and his life.
Quentin is still feeling the aftereffects of what happened back in Orion’s dungeon, but we both have to take a page out of Devonte’s book and forget right now, because if we remember too much, we’ll remember the hurt… Quentin told me that Devonte dropped that gem on them a while back. Quentin also wonders
what his family think of him back on Earth. He’s sure that they know he was involved in Faye’s death right before his successful suicide attempt so… how do they feel about that? How do you mourn someone who was responsible for another person’s death right before their successful suicide attempt? That’s a question that I can’t answer until someone who has been through that explains the mourning process to me.
Orion would be better off telling him since he knows everything. Quentin and everyone at the sanctuary were surprised when I told them that I didn’t go through with Orion’s obliteration. I released my hold on him before it could be done, because in the midst of all that, my mind snapped back to reality when thinking about what I initially left his group for. I wanted to build my own Heaven, and I won’t be able to successfully do this if I’m obliterated because I decided to play the role of God and pretty much obliterate someone else. Vivian wanted to stop me because she kinda knew what I was feeling at that moment. She knew the rage that built inside of me and she didn’t want me to make the same mistake she made on Earth. Vivian played her role of the villain so well, that I still want to punch her in the face for the way she acted when Orion was around.
While walking back to the sanctuary, Vivian cleared up any smoke that happened to be in the air. She told me that once the incident at the prison happened, Orion pretty much blamed her for what happened, rightfully so because she did help me blow up the prison. After that incident, he no longer really trusted her, so he sent her ‘secret society’ to hunt me, or anyone from my guild down without her knowledge. She was upset when she heard that we’ve been kidnapped, but she wanted to prove to Orion that she wasn’t in alliance with me. To do that, she hit me while I was chained, laughed in my face when she found out about Faye, she even shot me… twice. But she told me that she had to turn on Orion sooner rather than later.