Little Squirrels Can Climb Tall Trees

by Michael Murphy

  “You don’t know the name of the hospital where I work.”

  “I’ll go to them all, one by one, until I find the hottest man around—the man who needs to be tickled until he pees himself.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  “Wanna bet, sweet cheeks?”

  “Can you bet when you know with 100 percent certainty that something will happen?”

  “In this case, I don’t see why not, because I’m 100 percent certain as well.”

  “Well, good, then we’re all happy.”

  “No, actually, we’re not happy—you’re not here. If you were here, then I’d be happy.”

  “I miss you,” Kyle said.

  “Even though I’m pushy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Even though I’m mouthy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Even though I make you say ‘I am an awesome guy’?”

  “Especially because you make me say ‘I am an awesome guy.’ You’ve almost got me believing it.”

  We were quiet for a few seconds before I said, “Okay. There’s one thing you need to know about me.”

  “Only one?” Kyle teased.

  “No. Probably lots, but I’m not proud of some of them.”

  “Okay. So tell me the one thing you want me to know tonight.”

  “I’m pushy, mouthy, a bit arrogant at times—” I told him.

  “A bit?”

  “Hush! I’m talking,” I warned.

  “What else is new?” Kyle was getting entirely too good at this teasing thing.

  “Excuse me!”

  “Yes, go on.”

  “Thank you,” I said as I fought down a chuckle.

  “I’m listening,” Kyle said in his most serious tone of voice.

  “No you’re not! You’re talking! I know because I’m listening to you.”

  “Seems to me that you’re talking a lot too.”

  I growled.

  “Oh, now you’re just getting me hot,” Kyle said.

  “Are you finished?”

  “No, actually. I hope I’m just getting started.” Kyle was having entirely too much fun. “You were saying.”

  “Yes, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was about to tell you a deep, dark secret. I’ve done a lot of living in my life.” I lowered my voice a bit and spoke more softly. “But I have always kept people at arm’s length. I haven’t let many people into my life… for fear of having my heart broken. For all my pushiness and mouthiness, I’m really not very brave.”

  “No one wants to have their heart broken.” Kyle seemed to think of how to say the next thing very carefully. “Are you telling me that you’re letting me in?”

  “Yes.”

  “Am I boldly going where no man has gone before?”

  “Very funny! I’m having a romance novel-like confession here, and you’re doing Star Trek? Jeesssh!”

  “Only the best for you, babe!”

  Another moment of silence as we both thought of what to say. No, not what to say. How to say it.

  I found the words first. They weren’t that complicated, but the meaning behind them was very heavy. “I miss you.”

  “Me too.”

  “When I got home tonight, I knew you wouldn’t be here, but I kept hoping that I’d walk into the living room and find you lying on the couch reading. Or find you in the bedroom sleeping.”

  “Whatcha doing tonight?” Kyle asked.

  “Talking to you.”

  “Really?” he teased.

  “Yeah! And I don’t have one of those fancy advanced degrees and no super awesome abilities.”

  “No, I think you do have some pretty awesome abilities. Can I come over?”

  “Don’t you have to work tomorrow morning?”

  “Yes. But I want to be with you. It just feels wrong to be so close and yet apart. If I promise to be good and not molest you, can I come over?”

  “You can come over even if you want to jump my naked body and do unspeakable things to me. But I’ll be good and let you sleep all night so you’re fresh and ready to go save the world again tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.”

  “I’ll be there in half an hour. Want me to pick up anything?”

  “No, it would just slow you down from getting here. Are you here yet?”

  “I’m on my way,” Kyle told me.

  WHEN I heard a knock at my door, I was surprised to find Kyle panting as if he’d just run a race.

  “Did you run? Damn! You did!” I said as I grappled the big man in a hug. If I could have done so, I would have lifted Kyle off the floor, but I didn’t think even I could do that. I settled for a hug that conveyed the same emotion. “I’m so glad to see you.”

  “Ditto.”

  “Ditto? Real romantic, dude.”

  “I’m new at this romance stuff. I thought you were gonna teach me!”

  “Clearly someone needs to, so I guess I better. ‘Ditto’ is a perfectly fine word.”

  “I can’t believe this. You’re telling me this in the hallway outside your apartment? You’re not even going to be polite and invite me inside? Mama was right—you Northeasterners are all heathens!”

  “Get in here!” I ordered as I pulled the man inside and closed the door. “Now, as I was saying—hint: this is where you shut up and listen to me speak!”

  “How is this any different from—”

  “Hush!”

  “Okay. Maybe.”

  “Don’t make me tickle you!” I threatened.

  Kyle tried to imitate the growl I had used earlier, but it just didn’t come across as threatening—cute, maybe, but definitely not threatening.

  “That’s so cute! So, as I was saying, ‘ditto’ is a perfectly fine word. Patrick Swayze used it very effectively with Demi Moore in Ghost.”

  “In what?”

  “Ghost! The movie Ghost? Oh shit! You’ve never seen Ghost? Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Ghost is one of the best movies! We’ve got to watch Ghost! You will love it! I love it, and I can’t wait to watch it with you! Oh, this is fan-fucking-tastic!”

  “You forgot that movies are the work of the Devil.”

  “Sorry about that. This is going to be like deflowering you again, only this time I’ll know!”

  “You are enjoying this entirely too much.”

  “No! This is going to be so awesome. All the movies—all the crap and all the classics—they’re all new to you. I’ll get to show them all to you and get to see them all over again as brand-new through your eyes!”

  “Is that good?” Kyle half joked. Movies really were novel territory for him.

  “Yes, you goofball!” I said as I swatted the man’s arm. “Did you bring food?” I teased, already knowing the answer. “I thought you Southern boys had manners and always brought something when going calling.”

  “No. I’ve been running to get to you! You’ve been sitting here doing nothing, so I should be asking what you’ve done about food.”

  “Do you like Chinese? There’s a great place around the corner that delivers.”

  “Love it.”

  “There’s a menu on the wall by the phone in the kitchen. Take a look and find something you like, and I’ll call them. They’re really good and reliably quick since I tip well.”

  Kyle stopped me, hugged me again, and said, “Thanks for letting me come over.”

  “Thanks for coming over.” I wasn’t going to lose it. No! I most definitely was not going to lose it! Okay, is anybody buying that? I know I wasn’t, and I was there. We broke apart while we both had our dignity intact. I took his coat and hung it up in the closet while Kyle went to examine the menu—a pretty standard Chinese menu. He wandered into the living room while I called in the order.

  When I returned to the living room, I watched Kyle as he carefully inspected my movie collection. I’ll admit it: I like movies. Some might call it an addiction, I don’t care. My living room had a nice big, flat-panel TV hanging on one wall along with piles and piles of DVDs. He jumped when I app
eared by his side.

  “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. You found my movies?”

  “Sorry. It’s just all so new to me.”

  “You really didn’t go out to see movies?” I asked, not believing that such a thing was possible.

  “No. I heard my friends talking about some of the big movies they had seen—sometimes over and over again. But my mother wouldn’t allow me anywhere near such things.” He sighed.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Just remembering one time when I tried to sneak off with some friends to see a movie. Somehow she got wind of it and not only foiled my plans but also embarrassed me in front of my friends. It was humiliating.” He was quiet for a moment before continuing. “Quite an impressive collection.”

  “Do you know any of them?”

  Kyle shook his head. “No. Well, I’ve heard of this one,” he said, pointing to one of the big-name hits.

  “Well, we’ll take care of that.”

  “My mother would not like these.”

  “Well, guess what? She’s not here, and she’s not invited tonight.”

  “She probably wouldn’t be happy with you trying to lead her angel into a life of depravity.”

  “No, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have much good to say about me, especially after showing you some of the ‘temptations of the flesh’—is that the right phrase?” I asked.

  “That works.”

  We looked at some of the movie boxes and talked for a few minutes before a guy from the Chinese restaurant interrupted our conversation to deliver our food. I got out plates and silverware while Kyle unpacked the bags. We ate, we talked, we laughed, we argued over who had the better choice for dinner, and I even tried to show Kyle how to use chopsticks—he was surprisingly adept at using the bamboo devices. All in all we both had a good time. After we finished eating, Kyle insisted on cleaning up the plates and taking care of the empty containers.

  “Do you know how to do that? I thought you doctors had nurses to do things like that?”

  “I am quite capable of washing dishes. I’m rather good at it, actually. I will have you know that I have washed thousands—no, tens of thousands of dishes while in college and medical school. I did a lot of restaurant jobs to help pay tuition and living expenses.”

  “Well, I will not wrestle you to see who gets to wash dishes. I hate it.”

  “You just haven’t had a pro show you how it’s done.”

  We continued talking and joking while Kyle washed the plates and silverware. The job was not terribly onerous, since there were only two of us and the food had been delivered in the usual paper cardboard containers. When everything was cleaned up, we sat on the couch and watched the early news. All too soon it was time to call it a day and get to bed.

  Kyle insisted that we not simply go to sleep. In fact, he had budgeted enough time in his mental mapping of the evening that he and I could take a walk in the Promised Land once again before going to sleep. I was only too happy to oblige.

  I gave Kyle one of my award-winning blow jobs and taught him some of the finer points of reciprocating. I don’t know if I was a good teacher or he was a great student, but he took to my training like a duck to water. When we turned off the lights and fell asleep a few minutes later, we both had smiles on our faces.

  The following morning Kyle was out of bed at six and out the door to work at six thirty. I had wanted to prepare a proper breakfast for him, but all Kyle wanted was a bagel. Without realizing the full import of what I was saying at the time, as Kyle was ready to leave, I quickly asked, “What time will you be home after work?”

  Kyle stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked as I quickly reviewed what I had said.

  “Nothing. I just like the sound of that. I finish my shift at seven. I should be able to get away at seven unless we have some big accident just before my shift ends.”

  “Okay. I’ll be here. Oh, wait!” I said, suddenly remembering something important. “In case I’m out or in the shower or on the phone or something, here’s a key for you so you can let yourself in.”

  Kyle looked like he was going to lose it right on the spot. “Thank you!” he whispered as he gave me a nearly bone-crushing embrace.

  “You’re hurting me!” I joked.

  “It’s okay. I’m a doctor.”

  “I’m not a You Break It, You Buy It kind of guy. Now go on! Get out of here, or you’ll be late for work. And somehow I don’t think you’ve ever done that.”

  “Never. Bye,” he said as he dashed out the door and down the hall to the elevator.

  Chapter 13

  OVER the days and weeks that followed, when we weren’t working, we spent every moment in one another’s company. We ate together. We talked together. We ran together. We debated issues together. We slept together. We had sex like rabid tree squirrels together. We cooked together. We watched movies together.

  When he ran out of clean clothes, Kyle went back to his apartment to pick up some things. He asked me to tag along, which I was only too happy to do. One glimpse at the place where Kyle lived was all it took for me to see why the man had never asked me to stay there. “This is where you live?”

  “No. I didn’t really start living until I met you.”

  “Now you’re gonna make me cry!” I really was afraid of doing just that.

  Kyle moved around the apartment, packing up a few things. The place was rather spartan in appearance. The furniture, what there was of it, was used—not secondhand, but something like tenthhand. The tiny place was simple: one room, square, with a rickety bed, a simple wooden chair on which he had piled his clothes, an old sofa with books stacked where one leg should have stood, no TV, and a monster pile of medical journals on the floor next to the sofa. There was no place to sit to eat. The kitchen, if you could call it that, was a tiny corner of the tiny room. The refrigerator was tiny (and ancient), the stove was tiny—everything about the place was tiny. Which was odd because the man who resided there was anything but tiny.

  It didn’t take too long for the two of us to collect what few things Kyle needed and return to my apartment. The walk back to my place was unusually quiet; neither of us had much to say, which wasn’t to say that we didn’t have things on our minds—quite the contrary.

  When we were back inside my place, I asked a simple question. “When does your lease expire?”

  “End of next month.”

  “Let it go,” I said decisively. “Move in with me. I have the space. I want you here.”

  Kyle looked expectantly at me. I knew what was still to be said, but I was finding that I was unable to get the words out easily.

  “I’d say it first,” Kyle half joked, “but it doesn’t count coming from me.”

  “Why the hell not?”

  “Because I’m new at this and probably fall in love more easily. You, on the other hand, are the battle-hardened, dating-weary man of the world. If you say the words, you’ll really mean them.”

  “No more so than if you say them,” I objected as strenuously as possible.

  “They’ll be harder for you to say. For me, the hard part has been waiting to say them. I’ve been working hard to hold them in and not let them fly out and go bouncing around the room at least seventeen times an hour. Now come on! Say them!” he ordered. “It’s starting to hurt having this bounce around inside me!”

  I took a deep breath and gave my boyfriend an understanding, loving smile, knowing that the words Kyle had just spoken were true. With no additional hesitation, I took Kyle’s hands in my own, looked up at those gorgeous eyes—which were wild with anticipation—and said, “Kyle, I want you to move in here with me because you wash dishes really well.”

  Kyle slapped my arm and yelled, “Dude!”

  “Sorry! Couldn’t resist. Let’s try this again.” Taking a deep breath and refocusing myself, I once again took both of Kyle’s hands in mine, looked up into his eyes, and said, “Kyle,
you came out of the blue and burst into my life so unexpectedly. Before I realized what was happening, you had stolen my heart. And then I realized that I could entrust it to your loving care. Kyle, please move in with me because I love you and want to be with you now and always.”

  Tears were shed at that point as we grappled in a hug. I’m sure it was Kyle who cried first. I am, after all, the dating-hardened man of the world. You buying any of this? I’m not. Kyle was able to get out his words. “I love you, Jo-Jo.”

  “Jo-Jo? Where the hell did that come from?” I laughed.

  “I wanted a pet name for you.”

  “How about ‘rabid tree squirrel’?”

  “I can call you ‘squirrel’, but I think I’ll skip the rabid part when we’re with others. But I still like Jo-Jo and want to use that sometimes.”

  After mulling it over for a moment, I relented. “Okay. No one’s ever called me Jo-Jo before. I kind of like it. Now get out of here! Go to work! You’re going to be late!”

  And Kyle dashed off to make it to the ER in time for his shift to start at 7:00 a.m.

  The days that followed were a blur of activity. Long hours at the ER for Kyle, hard work at the office for me, time to get acquainted in the evenings and on days off. As needed, Kyle moved a few of his things from his apartment to mine. He didn’t have all that much stuff to begin with, and not all of what he had needed to go with him. It didn’t take too much sorting or too many trips to get everything he had arranged and moved. The medical journals were the heaviest of the things. In the end he decided to discard a lot of them since he also had electronic access and actually referred to that more frequently than he did to the paper copies. One evening I asked him, “When do you want to move your stuff in here?”

  “Already done.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked in disbelief.

  “It’s all taken care of. I’ve moved everything.”

  “How? Where? When?” Had the man accidentally bumped his head and injured himself? There was no way he’d moved all of his stuff. There was hardly any sign of anything different.

  “I didn’t have that much stuff. The furniture was all, um, recycled. The only kitchen stuff I had was rummage sale-type stuff that I just left. All I really had were my clothes—not that many—and my laptop, which has everything. Otherwise, I’ve traveled fairly light so far.”