Little Squirrels Can Climb Tall Trees

by Michael Murphy

  Once we made it through security and had re-dressed, I led Kyle to our gate. Our timing was good, which gave us only about twenty minutes to wait before our flight was due to start boarding. Kyle was absolutely captivated by the entire experience. He never stopped studying the crowds.

  When the flight was called, I led Kyle immediately to the gate since I had bought and paid for two first-class tickets and first class got to board first—or last, whatever we wanted. The main reason to board first was to find a place to store your suitcase, but in first class that was less of an issue since there were fewer people and more overhead storage compartments. Still, I wanted to get Kyle on the plane so he could look around, check everything out, and see what it all looked like.

  With our bags stashed away and the overhead compartment closed, I put Kyle in the window seat so he could watch out the window during the flight. Even though I had warned Kyle that flights were frequently delayed by any number of factors, including weather, delayed incoming flights, delayed flight crews, ramp slowdowns, you name it, none of those factors appeared to be issues that day.

  Five minutes before departure, the cabin door was closed.

  “What’s that?” Kyle asked.

  “They just closed the door so the plane can push back from the gate.”

  Kyle paid absolutely rapt attention to the flight attendant as she gave the flight safety demo, to the point that she became a bit worried about the man in seat 1A. When she finished, I told her, “First flight.” She gave a knowing smile and told Kyle not to worry.

  Since it was midday, there was a little less ramp traffic, so the plane pushed back on time and taxied fairly directly out to the runway.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, we are number one for takeoff. Flight attendants, take your seats.”

  One minute later the jet’s engines got noticeably louder and the huge plane started moving down the runway. Kyle was still somewhat dubious about something so big getting off the ground, but he took comfort in the fact that I did not seem at all concerned.

  Faster and faster the plane moved along the runway, the scene outside the window racing past. The front wheel of the plane lifted from the runway, and seconds later the entire machine was in the air.

  Kyle watched as the ground rapidly dropped away. “Holy shit! I’m flying!”

  “You bet your sweet ass you are, my awesome man!”

  Our flight climbed easily, and in seemingly no time, the pilot was announcing that we had reached our cruising altitude and that it was now safe to move around the cabin.

  “You’re kidding me, right?” Kyle said.

  “What, babe?” I asked, confused.

  “They let us out of our seats? You don’t have to stay seated the whole flight?”

  “Not unless it gets bumpy. But I’ll tell you a secret: there’s not very far you can go. There’s the bathroom and that’s about it.”

  “You can pee on airplanes?”

  I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yep. People pee on airplanes every day, and you will pee on an airplane today too.”

  The flight attendant took good care of Kyle during the flight, serving him his drink first as well as his snack. She made sure to clear away his tray first and kept his drink constantly filled. Kyle’s first flight wasn’t all that long, since there were no direct flights to Key West.

  We changed planes in Atlanta to a much smaller jet. Kyle was no less thrilled by the takeoff or the landing and was even more thrilled during the flight, since our flight path took us out over the open water of the Gulf for the final part of the flight.

  As our plane descended and lined up with the runway for landing, Kyle tried to take in everything. After a picture-perfect landing, the plane rapidly slowed since the runway in Key West wasn’t that long.

  “That was so freaking amazing!” Kyle practically shouted in excitement. “Did you see all that water?”

  “Yeah, babe, I have, but I’m seeing it all again for the first time through your eyes. All week I want you to tell me about everything!”

  “No problem!” In his excitement, though, he bumped his head on the ceiling since the plane was so small.

  “Sorry, big guy,” I said, but he barely seemed fazed.

  Since we were in the front of the plane, we were the first ones off. We descended the stairs and walked into the “terminal”—it was Key West, so it wasn’t very big. Nothing in Key West was very big.

  We didn’t have to wait for luggage, so we simply grabbed a cab and headed over to our hotel. Everything was close to everything else in Key West, so we were at our hotel in less than ten minutes. I knew exactly where I wanted to take Kyle, but I also knew that it would be too much too fast, so instead I had opted for a slightly more sedate and smaller hotel. From the street where the cab dropped us off, the place looked tiny. It looked like just the front of a very small two-story house. But once we were buzzed through the door and had walked down a long dark hallway, we entered another world entirely. The phrase “walk toward the light” took on an entirely new meaning for both of us.

  At the end of the long hallway, we found ourselves in a spacious courtyard with a hot tub, a pool, lounge chairs, tables under palm trees, a bar, and men—oh, yeah, let’s not forget the men. Did I tell you there were men? Oh, there were men. Lots and lots of men. There were old ones, there were young ones, there were trim ones, there were overweight ones. There were butch ones and there were nelly ones. There were basic ones, there were men of all shapes, sizes, and sorts. Oh, yeah, there were men, some from every part of the rainbow that was masculinity.

  Some of them were downright drop-dead, stunningly gorgeous. Of course that may just have been the wagging weenies that were so attractive. In the course of sixty seconds, Kyle moved from embarrassed to a kid in a candy store, from a virgin to a slut. I thought I heard the distinctive sounds of a whimper come from my boyfriend. Turned out to be one of the guests, who was practically drooling over Kyle. Although maybe it was a bit of both.

  “Did I mention that this place is clothing optional?” I asked with a sly smile, hoping my boyfriend was holding up okay.

  “I figured that out all by myself.”

  We checked in with a hyperfriendly twentysomething gym bunny who probably didn’t have the neurons to spare to have a thought at the same time that he flexed his hunky body, but who cared. We hadn’t come to Key West to think; we had come to view the local flora and fauna, and oh, what fauna!

  Our room was comfortable and blessedly air-conditioned. Kyle had lived the last seven years of his life in cities that were surrounded by water, so he knew that it would be humid. Fortunately it wasn’t sweltering hot like it had been the last time I had been in town—now that had been miserable, especially because I hadn’t had Kyle in my life at that point and had only been there to hook up with as many guys as I could. I hadn’t done too badly in that regard on that trip. It was perhaps a personal best in terms of volume and frequency, but none of that mattered because I now only had eyes for the man beside me.

  “Come on,” I ordered. “Shorts for you, and then the doctor orders some sun to put a little color in you.”

  “Can we put a little you in me?”

  “After the sun we’ll put a lot of me in you.”

  “Deal.”

  We started slowly, sitting under an umbrella that was under a palm tree. We both knew that the sunlight would reflect off the water in the pool, and we definitely didn’t want to burn, so we slathered sunscreen all over our bodies. I know—miserable job!

  We lay in the sun for a while, had drinks at the hotel bar with other men staying at the property. Kyle had never been in a bar where some of the customers were naked before. Some of the guys seemed to be die-hard nudists. They would climb out of the pool to get a drink and then get back into the pool to enjoy the water some more.

  There were three of them that made both of us salivate like dogs—these guys were hot! They were so freaking hot it’s a miracle the
water in the pool wasn’t bubbling because they made it nearly boiling hot. Early twenties, buff, trim, taut, abs for days, lean, toned, tanned, and naked—did I mention that they were naked? They were naked. Staying in the warm water of the pool naturally made things relax and lengthen, so it looked like they were all amply endowed. The only problem was that they stayed together and didn’t seem to speak English. The bartender confirmed: the trio was Russian and spoke no English whatsoever to his knowledge. They were there for two weeks, so we were comforted by knowing that we could at least lie by the pool and watch the trio of hotties frolic in it, not to mention try to talk to them—simply to be good ambassadors, of course.

  One drink at the bar turned into two as we talked with some of the other guests at the hotel. Over the years I had learned that one universal truth was that most guys were, at the core of their being, shy. I knew this to be true because even though I acted kind of ballsy, I, too, was shy. I forced myself to initiate conversations with most of the guys there and found that once someone started it, everyone was talking before long. Once we were lubricated with a little more alcohol, conversation flowed freely into the evening.

  When one suggested food, most were up for the idea, so a group of eight of us walked down to Duval Street and found a nice little place to grab some food. Our choice turned out to be good. After dinner, Kyle sat and held my hand. “I love you,” Kyle offered.

  “You’re sloshed!” I said simply.

  “I still love you!”

  “I love you too, babe.” Turning my attention to the other guys around the table, I said, “Guys, this has been a lot of fun. But we’ve been traveling for two days and we’re beat, so we have to call it a night.” Several of the guys walked back with us, also ready to call it a day. A couple of others headed off to find something—or someone—to do before the night was over. I already had who and what I wanted to do that night and all the rest of the nights of my life.

  Tucked into bed back at the hotel, Kyle whispered to me, “Thanks for giving me my first airplane trip, Squirrel.”

  “Glad to. You made travel feel fun to me again instead of just a chore. Love you, babe.”

  “Ditto.”

  Over the course of our time in Key West, we did as many things as possible while of course allowing plenty of time each day to lounge by the pool, reading and napping and watching gorgeous young things romp naked. We rented bikes and rode all over town—bikes were such a good way to get around, since the town was small and parking was nonexistent. We visited Fort Zachary Taylor Beach, we took a gay catamaran trip for an afternoon with a dozen other gay men, we ate fantastic food, we toured the Truman Little White House, and we talked with so many guys. Guys from all parts of the globe—a fine assortment of domestic and imported men.

  By the time we left to go home, Kyle had the names, phone numbers, and e-mail addresses of about a dozen guys we’d met on the trip. He insisted that each of them contact him if they were going to be in New York so that we could see them again. He of course also forewarned them that he worked twelve-hour days in the ER so his schedule wasn’t always amenable to such things. Still, he knew that we would be seeing some of the guys again over the next year.

  Fortunately our return flights were as smooth and uneventful as the flights down had been. Kyle, of course, absolutely loved the experience. When we got home, he was ready to plan at least seventeen new trips to take us all around the world—all by air.

  “Babe! You’re gonna bankrupt me!” I complained good-naturedly.

  “Consider it an advance on your days as the husband of a high-earning New York City doctor.”

  “Yeah, but who’s gonna advance me the cash to cover all this?”

  “Hmmmm,” he muttered. “Foiled by reality yet again.”

  “Don’t worry, babe, we’re gonna get you on another airplane in just a few weeks when we go to Hawaii.”

  “Love you, Jo-Jo.”

  “You too.”

  Chapter 20

  THE first Saturday in December, we were out of bed early. Really early. Super early. We had packed our bags the night before to be ready to just get up, shower, and go in the morning. We needn’t have set an alarm, because Kyle was so excited that he was awake before the alarm even sounded.

  Earlier, when I had been searching for flights, I had not been able to find a flight that went all the way from New York to Hawaii, but I had found the next best thing—a flight from Chicago that went nonstop to Honolulu—so I had booked us onto that flight. But to get to Chicago in time to catch our nonstop to Hawaii required an early departure, this time out of LaGuardia.

  Since travel was all so new to Kyle, he was delighted to see yet another airport, even though I had been through there hundreds of times. I was quietly frustrated by the slowness of the entire process. Since 9/11 all airports had ramped up security. The sad thing was that I had little faith in those added efforts making any real difference.

  When we finally had been scanned and X-rayed and frisked, we were able to proceed to the gate. The flight was an earlier one, and it was a Saturday, so neither of us felt able to predict if the flight would be crowded or not. It turned out to be rather full. I guess a lot more people wanted to travel first thing in the morning than seemed possible. I hoped they all weren’t headed to Hawaii.

  Once again I had bought first-class seats, which on the first plane were fine. Once we were airborne, our flight attendants served a simple snack, which both of us ate with relish since there hadn’t been time to eat at home before leaving for the airport. While Kyle watched out the window as we flew over increasingly flat land, I read and dozed lightly.

  Approach and landing in Chicago were very straightforward, and in no time our plane was parked at the gate. We grabbed our carry-on bags and went in search of our next gate. Our time in Chicago was brief. The gate turned out to be a substantial hike away from where we had landed. By the time we got to the gate for that flight, the gate attendants were starting to announce the boarding process.

  Since we were again in first class, we were some of the first to go on board the plane. As we walked through the door of the plane, I loved the telling look on Kyle’s face when he noticed that this plane was bigger. Not only was this plane bigger, it was huge!

  Turning to me, he whispered, “This is bigger than the last one.”

  “Oh, yeah, it’s a big one. Boeing 777. Seats several hundred people and can fly long distances without stopping. Consider how far we’re going in this next leg—more than eight hours in the air. We’ve got to go all the way across the rest of the United States and then all the way over the Pacific to Hawaii, which is another five hours. Long ways, babe. Long ways.”

  We got settled into our seats, which were up in the front on the left side of the plane. Our bags stowed, we sat and were immediately greeted by an ultraperky, obviously gay flight attendant who asked us what we would like to drink. It was too early for alcohol so we both opted for juice.

  When the guy had stepped away to get our drinks, I leaned over and whispered to Kyle, “He likes you,” referring to the flight attendant.

  “What’s not to like? I’m an awesome man.”

  “That’s my guy!”

  “No. Your awesome guy.”

  Since the plane was larger and was full, it took longer to get everyone on board and get their stuff stowed away. But finally everyone and everything was settled and the main cabin door was closed. Kyle was so excited as the plane started to push back that he was practically bouncing up and down in his seat.

  “Don’t hurt yourself there, big guy,” I jokingly cautioned with a huge dollop of delight in my voice.

  “Hush. This is absolutely amazing. I don’t know how they’re ever gonna get something this huge off the ground and then keep it in the air for more than eight hours with all these people on board. I mean, have you seen the size of this thing?” he said, gesturing roughly at the cabin around us.

  “Have no fear. Planes do this every day. Hundre
ds of times every hour.”

  “They might do it, but I’ve never done it, so hush up and let me watch.”

  Whether due to the early hour or the fact that it was a Saturday or some other reason entirely, the taxi to the runway was extremely efficient. In minutes the plane was sitting at the end of the runway in position, ready to roll. And roll it did. When the engines spooled up, we felt ourselves pushed back into our seats as the giant machine started racing down the runway. In well under a minute, we were off the ground and into the air.

  “Holy sweet Jesus!” he practically shouted. “Did you see that?”

  “See what, babe?”

  “How freaking fast that was! That was amazing! And look how high we are already! Wow! This is un-fucking-believable.”

  Over the years I had flown so many hundreds of thousands of miles that flight was just a giant chore to me. But once again that morning, as I held my boyfriend’s hand, I was seeing everything that my partner was observing. I was so delighted that I was able to be part of this experience. It was like everything old was new again, and it was glorious.

  As on our first flight, one of the flight attendants noticed Kyle was excited about something. She cautiously looked to make sure there was nothing she needed to worry about in the eight hours ahead. I explained, “First time,” which once again got a knowing smile from the woman.

  People around us settled in for the long flight ahead, but Kyle kept his eyes glued to the ground below. I was starting to feel a little slighted until I figured out, Oh, right, he’s hoping to see his former home. Quietly, I rose from my seat and approached the bubbly gay flight attendant with a simple request. He was only too happy to help. After I had returned to my seat, he picked up the intercom phone and spoke with the pilot.

  After about twenty minutes, we heard a voice on the public address system. “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I’d like to add my greetings to those you’ve already received as you came aboard this morning. Weather forecasts are looking good, so for now the Fasten Seat Belt sign is off. Our flying time today is eight hours and thirty minutes since we’ve got a bit of a headwind. I understand that we have a passenger who wants to know when we’re over Oklahoma. Our route today doesn’t take us over Oklahoma, but in about thirty minutes, if you look out the windows on the left side of the airplane, way, way off in the distance, you’ll see what you’re looking for.”