Corned Beef and Casualties

by Lynn Cahoon

  My aunt did her own assessment of the shop and then of me, apparently trying to judge my own stamina. I pretended I didn’t see the narrowing of her eyes. “Well, I guess I could go up for a couple of hours. Then you can leave at three so you can get your place ready for the dinner. I told you that Harrold will be accompanying me, correct?”

  A smile curved my lips, and I turned my back on her, pretending to take stock of the cup supply. “Yes, you did. You and Harrold are seeing a lot of each other.”

  I heard her stand up and head toward the doorway to the back area. “Yes, we are, if it’s any of your business.” Jackie headed toward the stairwell that would lead her to the apartment.

  I turned my head and watched her go, happy for her. My aunt had been alone for too many years after my uncle had passed. If Harrold was lucky, this could be a good thing for both of them.

  I heard the door shut, then turned back toward the counter. A red-faced Josh stood there, staring at the place where my aunt had disappeared. I had to assume that my aunt hadn’t seen him come into the shop, probably because she was more tired than I thought. But if her ex-boyfriend hadn’t known his status had been changed to ex before, he did now.

  “Hey, Josh, how can I help you?” I tried to keep the sympathy out of my face, but I guess I failed because his eyes hardened as he moved his gaze from the door to my face.

  “I wanted to know if you knew the ruffian who relieved himself on my building. Don’t try to lie; I saw you watch him go into the walkway.” Josh pulled out a notebook and a little pen. “I’ve called over Detective King and want to have all the facts for him so he can go arrest the man.”

  “Josh, I don’t think Greg’s going to arrest someone for taking a leak in a walkway. Unless someone saw him and was offended.” Now I was worried about the kids who had been in and out of the shop all morning.

  Josh snapped his book shut. “I should have known I wouldn’t get any help from you. You’ve hated me from the moment I opened my shop. You probably poisoned your aunt against me.”

  He spun around and headed for the door faster than I’d ever seen him move.

  “Josh…” I called after him, but he didn’t stop. And if I ran after him, I’d leave the shop unattended. Fixing his feelings would have to wait until another day. One when we weren’t so busy.

  Chapter 2

  The afternoon heat had dissipated by the time I finished setting up the chairs and tables out in the front yard. Toby and Greg would leave us and head down to the beach when the fireworks started, but most of the guests would just keep snacking and drinking until the show was over. The good news was everyone was walking, so drinking one or two cocktails wouldn’t cause a problem. Besides, if someone needed a place to sleep off the green beer, I had a guest room and an almost comfortable couch.

  The tablecloths were in place and fastened down to keep the wind from ripping them off and sending the red-checked fabric down Highway 1. Plates, cups, and silverware were in the large picnic basket I’d gotten from the consignment shop last summer. And the food was sitting on my kitchen counter, where Emma couldn’t drag it to the floor in order to consume it. I was sure my dog was trying to figure out a way to use the kitchen chairs while I was out of earshot of the crash.

  Greg pulled up to the house and parked across the street near the curb. I waited for him to reach me, then turned and walked toward the house with him. “You could have parked in the driveway.”

  “I’m the first to arrive, and I’ll be the first to leave. No need to inconvenience anyone.” He kissed me on the top of my head. “Anything I can help with?”

  “You can pour us a glass of iced tea. I’ll wait for a beer until after dinner. I’m glad I bought some on last week’s trip to Bakerstown. There’s probably not a drop of liquor to be purchased in the area.” I sat on one of the chairs and called Emma to my side. Absently petting her, I started to feel a little less stressed. “Maybe no one will come.”

  “Seriously?” Greg set a glass of tea in front of me. “You’ve got a prime fireworks-watching spot here. The only better place would be Esmeralda’s back yard. But I hear she’s holding a party for some of her woo-woo friends.”

  Greg’s term for Esmeralda’s other profession made me smile. “So won’t the fireworks be boring to a bunch of psychics? Shouldn’t they see the surprise coming?”

  Greg sat next to me and took over rubbing Emma’s head. “Good point. I’ll be sure to ask her when she comes back to work tomorrow. I guess it could be worse. She does a good job and doesn’t miss work for this side hustle.”

  “She’s a good person. A little weird, I’ll admit, but she’s nice.” I glanced at the clock. “I still have thirty minutes. I could go hide on the beach where no one would find me.”

  “I think all the hiding spots are taken. I can’t believe how many people showed up for this festival. It’s been a demanding day at the police station. I kept getting disturbance calls, but when I’d get there, the troublemakers would be gone.”

  “Did you talk to Josh?” I sipped my tea. “Tomorrow I’m going into that walkway and spraying it down with a hose.”

  “You don’t have to. Josh took care of it.” Greg grinned. “But he did give me a vial filled with urine so we could do DNA testing to find the culprit.”

  “You have got to be kidding.”

  Greg started to stand. “I’ll go get it. It’s in my truck.”

  “Eww, and yuck.” I thought about watching Moon go into the walkway. “What would you do if you found out who peed on Josh’s brick wall?”

  Greg shook his head. “Nothing. I mean, as long as he was discreet. I had bigger fish to fry today than dealing with someone with an overactive bladder. Besides, I could have probably arrested half the guys watching the parade for the same thing.”

  “Okay, then, I kind of know who it is Josh is looking for. But I didn’t tell him, and I wouldn’t have told you. He was with a girl who came in for coffee.”

  “Believe me, I’m not even going to interview you, so your secret is yours to keep.” He leaned back, checking his watch. “I hope tonight’s a little calmer. I had reports of some guy running out of the Watering Hole with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s he’d stolen from the bar while the bartender was making drinks.”

  “You’re kidding.” I’d only been in the bar a few times since Ned had opened it a few years ago. I’d been trying to get him to come to the Business-to-Business meetings, but he said they were way too early for his night-owl brain. “Ned must have been mad.”

  “Actually, no one saw the guy leave until another customer came in and asked why a leprechaun was chugging a bottle of Jack on the sidewalk.” Greg grinned. “Then the bartender noticed his bottle was gone. By the time Ned got out there, the guy had disappeared. Lost in a sea of people wearing green. I don’t even know why he called it in.”

  “So you had calls like that all day?”

  “Honey, that was the least silly call we got.” Greg leaned closer. “Some girl streaked through Diamond Lille’s wearing nothing but a green bowler.”

  A knock sounded at the back door, and Toby came inside. “Hey, boss. I just talked to Dave, and he knows he’s in charge for the next hour. But I told him, if anything happens, he needs to call you.”

  “That kind of ruins the being in-charge thing, doesn’t it?” I stood and grabbed another glass. “Iced tea?” “Thanks.” Toby gave Emma her attention as he sat at the table. “I just didn’t want Greg to miss out on another naked girl wearing a green hat.”

  “Yeah, I was just telling her about our streaker.” Greg snuck a cracker out of the dish I had set on the counter. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure she’s in a hotel room somewhere sleeping it off. She might not even remember where she left her clothes.”

  “Where is everyone? I thought we were having this party outside?” Jackie asked as she made her way through the house. Emma went
flying to greet her, stopping two feet short of my fragile aunt, and sat at attention.

  I could see her through the open doorway to the living room, sitting and waiting to be acknowledged. Her tail was beating quickly, but that was the only part of her body that was moving. My dog loved me. She probably loved Greg. And even Toby. But she adored my aunt.

  Aunt Jackie dropped her hand to stroke Emma’s head. “What a good girl you are.”

  I smiled and turned away so she wouldn’t know I saw the exchange. My aunt tried to keep her affection for Emma under wraps. She probably thought it made her look weak. I called out, “We’re in the kitchen.”

  “Well, let’s get this supper on the table. You have guests outside waiting.” My aunt went over and poured herself a cup of coffee. She poured a second one and handed it to Toby. “Would you take this to Harrold? I’ll help Jill get the finishing touches ready.”

  I stood and handed Toby a tray of appetizers. “No finishing touches needed. We just need to haul all this food out to the yard. Greg, come grab a couple of trays.”

  My aunt looked at me like I was an alien. “Well, who knew?”

  “What, that I could put together a party?” I wasn’t going to let her lack of faith get to me, not today. “I even have extension cords run so that the taco meat and the cheese sauce stay warm. I thought making my own taco bar was the best way to feed so many. I know it’s not traditional St. Patrick’s Day fare, but I’m not sure everyone loves corned beef and cabbage anyway.”

  “Not to mention that you didn’t know how to make the dish.” My aunt grabbed a bowl filled with shredded cheese and followed me out to the front yard. Emma started to follow, but Aunt Jackie snapped her fingers, and Emma sank to her belly on the floor. I needed to learn how to make my dog do that trick. She barely listened to me.

  “Is there more?” Greg held the front door open.

  I nodded. “Everything on the counter is ready to come out. The plug-in are at the end of the table by the front walk and closer to the garage.” I stopped by where my friend, Amy Newman, sat talking to her boyfriend, Justin. “Hey, you two. Thanks for coming.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” She stood and kissed me on the cheek. “But Justin here had to be convinced.”

  “It’s not that. I just thought that maybe we could talk for a few minutes before we came over.” Justin looked as miserable as he sounded.

  Crap, that didn’t sound good. I was usually totally blind to relationship issues, but I could feel the tension between the two. “Well, I’m glad you made it. We should be able to see the fireworks really well from here. And the local radio station is broadcasting the music, so it will be like we’re down on the beach.”

  “Except there won’t be any drunk people fighting in front of us,” Justin said.

  My face must have shown my confusion because Justin went on to explain.

  “I was picking up Amy so we could walk down to your house together, and some people were trying to check bikes back in, but they were short one. I guess the guy had put them on his credit card, but one of the girls,” he paused and looked at Amy, “sorry, one of the women, had stayed behind at the beach to watch the fireworks.”

  “Austin was perfectly within his rights to refuse to give back the deposit until all the bikes were returned.” Amy added to the story.

  “I didn’t say he wasn’t.” Justin’s voice was tight. “Anyway, the guy and this other chick got in a fight, and he told her to tell her friend that she was going to pay the deposit herself if the bike didn’t get returned.”

  “They said she was a little drunk.” Amy grabbed a beer out of the cooler. “I can’t believe they just left her out on the beach. I hope she’s sitting down and letting the alcohol dissipate. I’d hate to think that she went swimming or even biking if she was as drunk as these people.”

  “Another reason I’m voting against having a repeat of this festival next year. I can’t believe how wild it got so fast.” Greg sat the last Crock-Pot on the table and plugged it into the power source. “Jill, will you check and make sure we got everything out of the house?”

  By the time I’d finished setting up the buffet, Sasha and Olivia had arrived. They found chairs, and Greg turned on the stereo to the fireworks station. Music filtered through the conversations as people went to get food and refresh their beverages.

  Greg came up as I was opening another bag of taco shells. He rubbed my shoulders and whispered in my ear, “Go sit down and eat. We can forage for ourselves. Besides, everything is great.”

  I glanced around at my friends and family and realized he was right. Everything was okay. I took a plate and filled it, making my way to the table where Greg had been sitting with Justin and Amy.

  “I love tacos.” Amy held up a soft shell and took a huge bite. “It’s like natural food.”

  “Did you know that Glen Bell opened his taco shop so he could compete with McDonalds? It’s a California fast-food dynasty.” Justin announced, and I knew he saw Amy roll her eyes. Whatever he’d done to make her mad must have been big.

  “So Taco Bell started in California?” Greg focused on Justin and ignored Amy’s nonverbal signals.

  “That’s the story. Cool, right?”

  “Except for the mom-and-pop taco stand that was right across the street that he put out of business.” Amy dusted off her hands and stood. “I’m getting some more.”

  As she walked away toward the food table, Greg leaned over to get Justin’s attention and whispered. “Dude, what did you do?”

  Justin sighed, watching Amy. “I accepted a conference trip for next spring and didn’t invite her to go. It’s in Vegas. What would she do while I’m working? I don’t understand why she would even want to go.”

  I stared. I didn’t even know what to say. “You’re kidding, right?”

  When Justin turned his blank face toward me, I realized he didn’t have a clue. “I’m taking it you’ve never been to Las Vegas. She could shop or gamble or see a show or an exhibition. Or she could just hang out at the pool.”

  Greg reached for my hand. “I’m taking this to mean if I’m scheduled for a Las Vegas conference, you’re all in?”

  “Definitely. And Amy would have been too. Now you have to figure out a way to invite her without making it feel like a pity invitation.” I finished my iced tea and stood to grab a bottle of beer out of the cooler. “You’re totally screwed on this one, Justin.”

  He leaned closer, and I couldn’t tell if it was desperation or fear on his face. “You could talk to her.”

  Uh, oh. I didn’t like where this was going, not one bit. “No. I’m not doing that. You broke it, you fix it.”

  “You broke it, you buy it.” Greg corrected.

  I shrugged and sipped my beer. “Whatever. I’m still not fixing this.”

  Amy returned to the table, and we all pretended we hadn’t been talking. Which made the next few minutes and the lack of conversation at the table feel like an eternity. Finally, Greg glanced at his watch. He stood, waving at Toby to finish his meal so they could go. “Sorry, honey, I’ve got to get back to work.”

  “Good. That means the fireworks will be starting soon.” My aunt slapped at a bug that had been circling the table. “I’m not a fan of being outdoors.”

  “Dear, you live in California. Outdoor life is part of our culture.” Harrold picked up her coffee cup and stood. “I’m going in for coffee. Anyone else want some?”

  Since most of the partygoers—with the exception of Sasha, Olivia, Greg, and Toby—were already into their second beer, Harrold didn’t get any takers. As he entered the house, Amy pulled her chair up next to my aunt.

  “I really like him. He’s quite lovely. Are you two making it serious? I see you together a lot.” Amy leaned on her forearms, focusing on my aunt’s face.

  I could see it coming before my a
unt even spoke. “Amy, dear, I’m not the type to kiss and tell. You young folks think that everything should be open for discussion in public. I’m enjoying spending time with Harrold, and that’s all you need to know.”

  Amy patted Aunt Jackie’s hand. “Actually, it’s more than I thought you would say. I just want you to know, I think Harrold is pretty terrific.”

  As he came out of the house with the two cups of coffee, he glanced out at the gathering in the front yard and smiled directly at Aunt Jackie. The guy had it bad. Which was a good thing. I liked Harrold. And I liked him a heck of a lot more than Josh, who had been the last beau at Aunt Jackie’s doorstep.

  “I think so too.” My aunt smiled up at him as he set the cup in front of her. Amy scooted her chair back to our table.

  She shot a look at Justin. “See. That’s how you’re supposed to treat a lady.”

  Justin shook his head. “Amy, I guess I was an idiot and I’m sorry. Can we postpone this spat until after the fireworks, when we’re alone?”

  I held my breath. I was hoping for a cease-fire, at least during the party. But my friend could be stubborn. Especially when she was mad.

  Amy leaned back into her chair. “Fine. But we will talk about this.”

  I let out a breath at the same time as Justin, and he turned toward me and laughed. “Sorry for disturbing your most excellent party with our couple’s issues.”

  “It happens.” I shrugged and stood to walk with Greg to his truck.

  When we reached the street, he turned to me. “I feel like I’m leaving you on a powder keg and you keep lighting matches.”

  “I’m not the one lighting the matches. I just got drawn into the issue. I guess I’m a sympathetic listener.”