by Lynn Donovan
Louise drew her chin in and gritted her teeth. “I am not with child! I am a chaste bride.” She growled. “You know that my family lives on Lime Rock Island. We attend to the lighthouse and keep all the boats in Newport Harbor safe. We are not able to come to church… because— I can’t believe I’m telling you this— my poppa is… an invalid. He had a stroke not long after we moved out there.” Her words tangled with unshed tears. She cleared her throat. “Our station with the Lord is just fine! My momma and I read the Bible every Sunday to my brother and sisters. Momma reads it to Poppa in the privacy of their room every night.” She lifted her chin a notch. “Which you would know if you had taken the trouble to row out to our lighthouse at least once in the three years we have lived here!”
The reverend’s eyes widened. “How dar—”
The captain stepped between Louise and Reverend Chesnut. “Reverend. If I may.” He pulled out a wallet. “Isn’t there some charity that I could compensate to allow your services to be more favorable toward performing these two kids’ wedding?”
The reverend jerked his head back, his eyes fluttered. “I-well-I suppose the Widows and Orphans’ funds is lacking revenue of late. Perhaps if a contribution in the Wiley household’s name could bring a blessing upon the family… to overlook their absence. Considering the husband is not well, and Miss Wiley is so busy saving misfortunate boaters from drowning. I’m sure the Good Lord can forgive and forget…”
Louise opened her mouth with a gasp.
“Good.” The captain blocked her from approaching the reverend and pulled some bills from his wallet. He walked over to a collection basket near the pulpit and placed the money inside. “I think just compensation has been made, can we proceed with the marriage ceremony?”
Reverend Chesnut pursed his lips. “Let me see if Mrs. Chesnut is available as a witness.”
He walked away, entering a backroom. Soon he and his wife returned. She looked flustered, patting her hair and seating herself at the organ.
The reverend took his place at the altar. “You two stand here.” He pointed. “Captain, you and the private should stand beside the groom. Oh, you too.” He eyed L.J. “Men, beside the groom, girls beside the bride.” He waited for them to settle into their places. “Now. Are we ready?” He turned to his wife. She nodded and began playing a gentle hymn.
“Dearly beloved,” the reverend spoke over the music. “We are gathered here, in the sight of God…”
William held Louise with his gaze. She smiled a nervous smile. This was it! Her wedding. Her heart ached, longing for her momma and poppa to be here, too. But it was not to be. William grinned at her. His eyes sparkled as he wrinkled his nose. She giggled.
The reverend cleared his throat, glaring at her, a silent reprimand. Louise glanced at him and pressed her lips together to stay the amusement. She widened her eyes at William. It was his fault she was in trouble. But her heart was glad.
She didn’t know William before the day he kissed her. She had not had time to get to know him during these last eighteen hours that he had been in her home. But something in her heart knew him. She would learn to love him, when he came home from the war.
A shock of reality hit her cold and hard. What if he did not come home? She’d be a widow. A chaste widow. She shook her head, forcing that thought to the back of her mind. She couldn’t think that way. Not now. This was her wedding and her last few hours with William. She would not let him see anything but happiness in her demeanor. He deserved to know she would be here, waiting for him. To give him a reason to survive, should anything bad happen, and to come home to a loving wife and a livelihood of keeping a lighthouse. He had a future. He had a wife. He had a family, her family. And he had a solid reason to survive this stupid war.
The reverend cleared his throat. She looked up in surprise. “I’m sorry?”
“Your vows. Miss Wiley. I asked you to state your vows. Now, repeat after me…”
Louise drank in William’s chocolate brown eyes as she repeated what the reverend said. William did the same. Since the wedding had not been planned ahead of time, there were no rings, and so the reverend concluded by pronouncing them Man and Wife. “You may kiss the bride.”
William took Louise’s hands into his and pressed them against his chest. Slowly, gently, he leaned into her and brushed his lips against hers. They kissed, tenderly. So different from the first time. Louise closed her eyes and lost herself in this sweet kiss.
The captain cleared his throat. William and Louise leapt back, ending the moment that had become all their own. Louise giggled and William blushed. The twins tossed rice over Louise’s head. When had they gathered a handful of rice? She laughed.
The captain shook William’s hand and patted his back. It was time to head to the dock.
Louise forced a smile to remain on her face, as she walked with her husband toward the boat that would forever take him away from her. The captain and private boarded, ignoring the newlyweds. It was the closest thing that could be given them for a moment of privacy to say goodbye.
Louise fought a tear, but it won. She swiped it quickly away. “You be careful.”
“I will.” He held her hands against his chest, like when they kissed before.
“I’ll write to you,” she whispered.
“Good.” He patted the letters under his shirt. “I’ll write to you when I can.”
She nodded. Her lower lip trembled uncontrollably. She sucked it between her teeth in an attempt to hide her sorrow. He lifted her chin with a crooked index finger. “I love you, Missus McLaughlin.”
That made her smile. She was Mrs. McLaughlin. “I love you too, Private William McLaughlin.” Tipping her head toward him, she closed her eyes and let him kiss her one last time. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pressed his lips against hers. Dizziness consumed her, but he held her firm.
The captain cleared his throat. It was time.
She stepped back from William, only to be shoved aside by her brother, who swooped in and threw his arms around William. “Be careful, man.” L.J. choked and stepped back. He saluted William and William drew himself into attention to salute the boy. L.J. whimpered and turned his back on the boat.
Louise put her hand on her brother’s shoulder. “He’ll be back.”
“I know.” L.J. jerked away from her and walked down the pier. Louise turned back to William and watched as he stepped into the boat. She stood there with her sisters each holding her hands until the three soldiers were tiny specks on the water. She turned to catch up with L.J. He was already sitting in their rowboat and silently held his chin on his fists while she and the girls climbed in.
Louise took her position and rowed them home. How long would it be before she could look upon William’s mischievous face again?
4
March 1862
“Oh, Missus McLaughlin!” The storekeeper’s wife called out to Louise the minute she entered the general store. “There’s a telegram for you!”
Louise’s stomach fell to the floor. Every weekday she came in here to send a letter to William and to see if there was one from him. He had been pretty consistent to send one a week. Not that they all came to her every week. Sometimes they came three at a time and other weeks there was nothing. But she could tell by the date, he had faithfully written her. There had not been any for over a month. Her fear grew bigger with each passing day without a letter.
She grabbed hold of the cracker barrel to keep from stumbling. “Tell me,” she breathed the words. “Is he dead?”
“You know we don’t open private mail.” Mrs. Stotler frowned.
“Just tell me.” Louise couldn’t let go of the barrel.
“He’s alive.” Mrs. Stotler said softly. Louise rushed to the woman and grabbed the yellow envelope. Ripping it open, fumbling to pull the thin paper from within.
Rec’d med discharge. Stop.
Be home soon. Stop.
-Corp W Mc
She bit her lip and lifte
d her eyes to the expectant Mrs. Stotler. “He’s coming home!”
“Oh thank God.” Mrs. Stotler panted as if she had been holding her breath. “So, he’s alright?”
Louise looked back at the brief words. Did it mean what she thought? “Well, I don’t know. It says he has been given a medical discharge.” Tears filled her eyes. “I suppose that means he was… w-wounded.”
“Yes. I believe it does. But he is alive!” Mrs. Stotler reassured.
Louise lifted her chin. “Yes, I believe he is.” She read the wire a third time, turning the telegram over then back, looking for more information. “How do I know when he’ll be home?”
Mrs. Stotler peeked over the telegram. “I’m not sure.”
Louise nodded, absent mindedly. “Well. Here’s Momma’s list. Maybe I can go down to the recruiting office to get more information.”
“Yes, of course. That’s a good idea. I’ll have your supplies ready for you when you get back.”
“Thank you, Missus Stotler.”
“Think nothing of it. My pleasure.”
Louise handed her the list and hurried down to the recruiting building. The last time she had been inside here was the day she and William were married and his captain had replaced the pieces of their uniform they had lost in the storm. She smiled at the memory and pushed the door open.
“Excuse me,” she called out to no one.
A sergeant shoved through bat-wing doors, eating an apple. “How can I help you, miss?”
“It’s Missus.” Louise corrected. “I received a telegram from my husband, Corporal William McLaughlin?” She held up the telegram as proof. “It states he’s coming home. Do you know when?”
“Hmm.” The sergeant took another bite of his apple and set it down. While he chewed, he looked through a file. “Looks like he’s being shipped home soon. Real soon. Like maybe even this week.”
“Oh. Wonderful. But you don’t know exactly when?” She swallowed. “See, I live on Lime Rock Island. I’m not easy to reach, should he come home and I’m not here in Newport, I don’t know how he can let me know… when he’s here.” She licked her lips. “And I’d hate for him to have to get a boat to the island, if… if he’s… wounded.”
“Ma’am, if he’s well enough to be sent home, he’s probably well enough to hire a boat to take him to the lighthouse.”
Louise nodded. Absorbing what the sergeant said. “Alright. So… I’ll just watch for him, then.”
“Yes ma’am.” He didn’t smile, and he didn’t exactly make eye contact. Louise sensed he knew something he wasn’t telling her. But she didn’t know how to get such information out of him. Patience was a virtue. Too bad she had very little virtue.
“Well. Thank you, sergeant. You’ve been very kind.”
He tipped his head, and touched the brim of his hat. “Ma’am.”
Louise left the office, feeling she knew no more than when she walked in. Glancing at the port, she squeezed her eyes, trying to focus on the horizon across the harbor. Fort Adams could barely be seen from here. Any boats that might be headed this way were impossible to see until they got close to five hundred feet or so. When she got home, she’d watch from her bedroom window. From there she could at least see Fort Adams.
She returned to the general store for her supplies and then hurried to the dock to wait for her siblings. She stood tall as possible, and stared across the harbor. “Come home to me, soldier!” She mumbled to herself. Remembering the first time she’d said it to William.
L.J., Lena, and Lisa scurried to the dock, laughing and talking about a spring pageant they were planning at school. The twins were going to be flowers. A daisy and a tulip. And L.J. was going to be tall-tall grass. Louise couldn’t help but laugh with them. They sang one of the songs about spring rain making flowers grow, while Louise rowed with the rhythm. She and Momma had some work to do to make the costumes they described, but Louise’s mind would be on coming back to Newport to search for her husband.
How badly wounded was he?
Her stomach felt empty, her heart ached to know.

The days crawled by. Louise rose early to snuff out the lighthouse lamp, prepare breakfast for her siblings, clean her room, and dress for the day. All the while keeping an eye on the harbor for boats heading toward Newport from Fort Adams.
The weekend was the worst. Her chores kept her busy, but not nearly enough to keep her heart settled down. She stared out across the harbor as often as she could. When would William come home? Even though the young ones nor Momma needed anything from the town, Louise made one quick trip on Saturday and again on Sunday to check to see if he had returned.
At the end of the next week, Louise rowed her siblings to Newport and saw them to the school building. This afternoon, they would be performing their Spring Pageant. Momma and Poppa couldn’t come, but Louise had promised them she’d attend. She rushed to the recruiting office to see if there was news on William.
Sergeant Caffey anticipated her arrival by now and waited on the porch. Rocking in a chair, with a cup of steaming coffee in hand, he smiled when she approached. “Good morning, Missus McLaughlin.”
“Morning, sergeant. Anything?”
He smiled. “Actually. Yes.”
Louise’s heart leapt. “Really? When?”
“Today, ma’am.” The sergeant stood. “There’s a boat-load of men coming home today.”
She instinctively looked toward the dock, as if she would see him disembarking. “When?”
“Any time now, Missus McLaughlin.”
Louise took a step toward the harbor, then turned back. “Thank you, Sergeant, thank you so much.”
She rushed to the port. Other women gathered near by, watching for their men, too. Louise smiled at them. These were the lucky ones, waiting for their husbands to come home, rather than a pine box or worse, a simple letter telling of their loss on a battlefield. Louise bit her lip while she waited.
“Your husband coming home?” One of the women asked Louise.
“Yes. I understand he was given a medical discharge. I don’t know anything more than that.”
“Yes. I received the same cryptic telegram.” The woman replied. “I’m Sara, by the way. Greenburg.”
Louise put out her hand to shake the woman’s. “Louise McLaughlin.”
“Yes. I know.” Sara dropped her eyes to the dock. “You’re the girl who rows out and saves people in the harbor.”
Louise sighed. “Yes. I suppose that’s me.”
A wave a heat filled her cheeks. The two turned to the ocean and stared into the morning reflection on the water for any sign of their husbands’ transport.
Two hours later, Louise spotted the ship. “There it is!”
All the women rose from various rails and pier beams they had settled on to wait. Shadows stood very near temporary seating as it was near midday when the ship pulled into the port. Louise needed to get back to her siblings’ school house for their pageant, as promised, but William, of course, had priority. If he was well enough, perhaps he would want to attend the children’s show.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, waiting while corpsmen assisted soldiers down the gangway from the ship. None of them looked like William, but she couldn’t be sure. He still was unfamiliar to her. Finally, a corporal leaned on a wheeled chair as he hopped behind it to push the man toward land. The chair held a man with no legs.
Louise’s heart slammed to a halt in her chest as she stared the the chair’s occupant. Was that William?
She lifted her eyes to the corporal who hopped behind the chair. It was William!
She stepped forward and realized she couldn’t go to him. She had to wait.
William continued down the gangway pushing his friend until a woman ran up and hugged the legless soldier. She took over pushing the wheeled chair, and William hopped sideways, grabbing for a post to maintain his balance. Another soldier, who had walked behind William, handed him a crutch and
William leaned heavily on it.
Louise couldn’t see Williams legs with him standing behind the soldier’s chair. She stared at him through the many bodies moving around him. Their eyes met and William tipped his head back in acknowledgement. She rushed through the crowd to her husband and threw her arms around his shoulders. He staggered back from her, hopping with the crutch and trying to regain his balance. What had him so off-balance? Louise glanced down.
William was missing his left leg from the knee down.
“Oh, darling!” She cried and reached to embrace him. He again staggered back.
“Louise. We need to talk.” He struggled with his crutch and hopped past her. She touched his arm and walked beside him. “Of course. Where do you need to go?”
“We were told to report in to the recruiting office. Let’s just go there.”
Louise nodded and walked with him toward the building. The others made their way there too. William breathed heavily as he struggled to walk, pulling away from her when she tried to help. After a few attempts, she stopped trying but remained prepared to catch him should he stumble or fall.
“What do we need to talk about?” Louise asked.
William glanced at her with incredulous eyes. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Well, no. I mean, I see that you were wounded, but—”
“I’m not just wounded, Louise. I’m half the man I was when I left.” He barked. She jerked back from him.
His words were harsh but she wanted to make him understand she was willing to accept him as he now was. “I don’t care. William, I have waited months for you to come home. I have prayed you would not be killed. I was terrified when that telegram came saying you were discharged. So many women receive much worse news than that. We are the lucky ones, William. You have come home alive. I’m the luckiest girl in Rhode Island.”
