Joke's On You- To beta

by Vale, Lani Lynn

  She was embarrassed.

  That was so cute.

  “I think it’s in the kitchen. Or in my pants pocket. I’m not quite sure,” I admitted.

  She frowned. “You’re not going to plug it in?”

  I shrugged. “I’ll hear it wherever it is.”

  She looked at me like I was crazy.

  “That’s…” She widened her eyes at me. “That’s kind of crazy. Who doesn’t plug their phone in every night? What if it dies?”

  I grinned at her. “Then it dies.”

  “What if you get a SWAT call while it’s dead?” she challenged.

  “Then my brother will wake me up,” I countered.

  She rolled her eyes. “You have an answer for everything.”

  I plucked her phone out of her hands and rolled over to plug it into the charger.

  I studiously ignored how badly it hurt when I did, then rolled back to my other side and hauled her into my arms.

  She came willingly, obviously just as starved for my touch as I was for hers.

  “You tired?” she asked, sounding sleepy.

  I made a humming sound.

  “Not normally this tired, no. But apparently puking takes everything out of me.” I paused. “And I have a feeling that Asa will be waking me up again tonight.”

  She was silent after that, lost in her own thoughts.

  I knew that she wasn’t asleep because she kept running her fingers through my hair every so often.

  Only after we were lying in bed together for about twenty minutes, her tucked up tight to my side, did she broach our earlier conversation. “I wish I’d have waited for you.”

  Something tight in my chest released at her words.

  I hadn’t realized that I wanted to hear that.

  “I think that there are a lot of things we both would’ve done differently,” I admitted. “Does it bother me that I wasn’t your first? Yeah, kind of. But Jesus. I’d committed the ultimate sin in your eyes that night. How did I come back from that? You shouldn’t have waited.”

  “But you didn’t,” she said. “And I slept with the man responsible for your and my sister’s actions. All because I was pissed at you for something that he did.”

  Kerrie.

  She’d slept with Kerrie.

  I fucking hated that.

  More, I hated that I hadn’t just pulled my head out of my ass and done what I’d wanted to do all those years ago when we were in high school.

  “We’re having our new start now,” I told her. “We’re not going to dwell on the past, because we can’t change it.”

  At least, that was what I kept telling myself.

  I’d try to be the bigger person.

  But there really was no telling what would happen if Kerrie and I got into the same room as each other ever again.

  Chapter 7

  Life is so boring when you don’t have an online order to look forward to.

  -Dillan’s secret thoughts

  Dillan

  Booth was right.

  Not only did Asa wake up once, but he woke up five more times. All of those times having puked either in his bed, on his way to the bathroom, in the bathroom, or almost in the toilet bowl.

  None of those times did he actually make it to the toilet or his bowl.

  It was… gross.

  After the second time, I’d gotten up with Asa.

  Because how the hell did Booth get anything done when he puked the entire time he cleaned something up?

  When the next morning rolled around, Asa was happy and awake.

  Booth and I?

  Well, we resembled zombies.

  I was just happy that I didn’t have to go to work this morning.

  I was even more happy to find out that Delanie had gotten home early and offered to open the shop for me, and I didn’t have to deal with her dogs.

  Not that I disliked the duty or anything, but that was just two extra hours I got back of my sleep, and I was thankful for it.

  Not that today was one of those days that I was going to get caught up on my sleep.

  Because the moment that my sister sent the text that she’d dealt with the dogs, Booth’s doorbell had rung.

  And since Booth was once again in the shower, I answered it before Asa could.

  “No,” I called out when he went running—streaking—in his underwear toward the door. “I’ll get it.”

  “Nobody bad comes here,” Asa declared as he reached for the door handle.

  “Asa Pena,” I called out a bit more roughly than I’d intended. Stupid no sleep. “Don’t you dare open that door, young man.”

  Asa pouted at me. “Go get some clothes on, please. You know better than to run around naked.”

  “Daddy lets me run around naked,” Asa pouted.

  I didn’t fall for the pout.

  I wanted to, though.

  “I know,” I said. “But, if someone is here, that means that you need to put clothes on. And I know that your daddy makes you put clothes on when you have guests.”

  Asa knew I was right, too. Because he didn’t argue as he streaked off toward his room in search of some clothes.

  When I got to Booth’s door, I cautiously opened it to find his… entire fucking family standing on the doorstep.

  I blinked, startled to see them all there.

  Well, ‘them all’ being relative.

  His mom, dad, and middle sister Belle were there. Bourne was jogging up the driveway with my competition’s donuts, and they were all staring at me with amusement.

  “Ummm,” I said as I stood there in my borrowed Booth clothes, blinking owlishly at them all. “Hello.”

  Georgia, his mother, grinned. “Sorry, dear. We didn’t know you would be here. Or we wouldn’t have brought donuts.”

  I just shook my head. “It’s fine. I like their donuts, too.”

  Georgia giggled. “We thought we’d check on Asa and Booth, then head over to Bourne’s place and eat. Since we weren’t sure of the state of Booth’s place.”

  “Papa!” Asa came out, his shirt half on, half off of his body.

  His head was practically still covered by the shirt, and the only thing he could see out of was one eye.

  But he made it to his grandfather and threw himself at him.

  Nico picked him up, helped him with his shirt, and then wrapped his arms tightly around him.

  “Asa, you feeling better?” Nico’s dark, forbidding voice asked.

  When Nico spoke, I always got the feeling that I should listen.

  He didn’t talk much, but when he did, it was always something that I tried to listen to.

  Or, more like compelled to listen.

  I didn’t know what it was about the man that made me feel so… in trouble. But yeah, the man likely had a really good ‘dad voice’ as I liked to call it.

  I bet if he would’ve told Asa to put some clothes on, there wouldn’t have been any argument at all.

  “I’m feeling much better. Can I have one of those donuts?” He looked to me instead of his grandparents or aunts.

  “I…” I hesitated. “I don’t really know, bud. I mean, you threw up about two hours ago, and though you feel better, I’m not really sure that a bunch of sugar is really going to help settle your tummy.”

  “I agree.” Booth came out much the same way his kid had, only he didn’t have trouble getting his head through the hole of his t-shirt. “You should probably stick to the bread off of the kolache for now. And if you’re able to hold that down, then we’ll discuss a donut later.”

  All eyes turned to him, then back to me, and then back to Booth.

  It would’ve been quite comical if they weren’t silently judging me.

  I could practically feel their curiosity.

  And Belle, though I didn’t have much dealings with but still knew her enough to know that she was blunt like her father, stared at me.

  “
Are you and my brother dating now?” she asked.

  Belle had Asperger’s.

  She didn’t like new places. She didn’t like new people. And she didn’t like women.

  So it was honestly a surprise that she was even talking to me.

  “Umm,” I hesitated. “Yes?”

  I didn’t see any point in denying it or trying to hide it.

  That wasn’t going to be easy with our family.

  Most importantly, he had a kid that my sister was the mother of. Even if I wanted to keep it from her, I wouldn’t. And I didn’t want to lie to Asa.

  “They are!” Asa cried out. “Did you know that she slept in Daddy’s bed last night? When I went in there to tell them that I threw up all over the bed, she was in Daddy’s arms. Hey, can I have a donut, please? I really am feeling better.”

  Belle looked at me for so long I almost opened my mouth to explain, but then she smiled. “I have a book that you might like.”

  I blinked. “Really? I thought you didn’t read romance.”

  She grimaced. “I usually don’t. But this one was highly recommended because it’s about a woman with Asperger’s who finds love. It was in all of my reading groups. And since one of my author friends that I edit for suggested me as an editor, I told her that I’d be willing to read it as long as I got to share it with you if I liked it.”

  I blinked. “You… wow! How was it?”

  Bourne and Booth slipped out to head to Bourne’s place, followed quickly by Nico and Asa.

  All that was left was Georgia, me, and Belle shortly after, all standing in Booth’s open doorway.

  “I liked it, I guess,” she admitted. “A bit unrealistic, I suppose. There were some parts that I didn’t agree with seeing as they’re not traits that I exhibit. But, according to my doctor, they are traits that some people do. I just couldn’t relate to those parts. I’m also not quite so sure that I’ll agree to read the second in her series. This one was about a man that has Asperger’s. But I told her that I’d wait to hear your unbiased opinion before I agreed.”

  I blinked. “Why mine?”

  “Because you are the only person that I know that loves to read like I do, even if it is romance. I respect your opinion,” she told me. “I’ll send the book to your email. Feel free to read it at your leisure. Though, I told her that you can read fast. And would probably have your opinions back to me within the week.”

  Then, with that, she was gone.

  I blinked, watching her form go.

  Belle was a beauty.

  Which was why guys flocked to her in droves.

  It was honestly quite off-putting to be standing next to someone with that much beauty.

  She was taller than my five-foot-six frame by about an inch. She had perfectly proportioned legs, killer boobs, and long black flowing hair that came down to her mid-back. She had the type of eyelashes that women paid good money for and didn’t ever wear a hint of makeup because not only did she not like the way it felt on her face, but she also didn’t see the point of ‘changing her appearance for a man.’

  And her obvious disregard for the male population was quite amusing. Not that she wasn’t attracted to men, she was, but she just didn’t care if she pleased them or not.

  I loved her. I wanted to be her when I grew up.

  “She’s something else.” Georgia smiled at me, her teeth gleaming in the morning sun. “Do you eat donuts?”

  I grinned and patted my hips. “Of course, I do.”

  She rolled her eyes. “That’s nothin’, honey. Just wait until you start having kids, then get back to me on your hips.”

  I smiled at her, causing her to shift and scoot closer.

  “I’ve always liked you, honey,” she whispered.

  My eyes went a little wide at that comment.

  “I know you won’t hurt my baby,” she continued.

  I wouldn’t.

  “I also know that my boy thinks the world of you. As does Asa,” she said. “Don’t hurt them, please.”

  “I won’t,” I promised. “I would never hurt them. Not ever.”

  She patted my arm and then caught my hand as she dragged me along in her wake toward Bourne’s house.

  I couldn’t even protest about my clothes before I was pulled inside and the door was closed behind me.

  I didn’t even have any socks on.

  “…if you throw up, I don’t want to hear any whining,” Booth said. “You can eat them.”

  I looked into the kitchen just in time to see Asa go to town on some donut holes.

  “You’re a pushover,” I teased as I was tugged to the nearest bar stool next to Nico.

  Booth, who was leaning against the counter on the opposite side of the bar, looked at me and grinned.

  Then he gestured toward the donuts. “Want one?”

  I really shouldn’t.

  “I’m on a diet,” I said as I looked at the donut longingly.

  “Your diet will be there tomorrow,” Nico said as he hooked a finger in the edge of the box and tugged it toward me.

  My mouth watered as I looked at all the donuts.

  Then, before I could think better of it, I picked up my favorite.

  Plain ol’ glaze.

  See, Shipley’s Donuts had the monopoly on the best glazed donuts. Sure, all of their donuts were excellent, but there was just something about those glazed that made me crave them all the freakin’ time.

  I’d tried hard to perfect my donuts over the last couple of years after I’d started my business, but there was just no comparison.

  I bit into the donut and moaned.

  The damn thing was hot.

  Son of a glazed donut, was it good.

  I took another bite.

  And another.

  And another.

  Until suddenly it was all gone and I was wanting another.

  “Want some milk?”

  I looked up to find Booth staring at me hungrily.

  I blinked rapidly at him.

  “Do you have any chocolate milk?” I asked.

  “I do at home,” he said.

  I got up off my chair, but before I could make my way toward the door, Booth was waving me away.

  “I’ll get it,” he said. “I want to grab my coffee anyway.”

  And before I could say so much as another word, I was left with his family.

  “That was kind of hot,” Heath, the middle and quietest child of the entire bunch, said.

  I blinked, staring at him with confusion. “What was? The donut? I noticed. I love hot donuts.”

  “We noticed,” Heath said as he reached for another donut. A chocolate-covered one. “Booth had to leave because he noticed.”

  I frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  “Heath,” Nico said. “How about you pour everyone some milk?”

  Heath grinned and pulled out a jug of white milk, as well as a jug of chocolate milk.

  I frowned at Bourne. “If you had some, why did he go all the way back to his place for it?”

  Bourne offered me a grin. “I’m sure he really wanted his coffee.”

  I reached forward and nearly had my hand on another donut just as Booth came through the door.

  I picked it up and bit into it right when he plopped a mug of chocolate milk in front of me.

  I raised my brow at him just as I licked a stray flake of glaze off of my lip.

  He groaned and turned to stare out the window that looked out over his and Bourne’s shared back yard.

  “Y’all should put an outdoor kitchen out there,” I suggested. “Your yard is the size of everybody’s dream. Y’all could do so much there for entertaining purposes.”

  “It doesn’t make sense to put anything into the place when it’s not ours,” Bourne said as he picked up his glass of chocolate milk Heath had set down in front of him. “Plus, we’re looking at a place off of Fuller Street right now. It’s a fifty-acr
e ranch with a seven-bedroom monstrosity on it.”

  My brows rose. “You’re going to move?”

  “Eventually, if we get it,” Booth said as he turned around and leaned his hip against the counter again. His eyes narrowed when I took another bite of my donut, then started to lick my fingers. “It needs some work, though. The house is livable, but we’re not really interested in living in ‘livable.’ We want more ‘done’ and less ‘needs a whole lot of fuckin’ work.’”

  “It’s got three stories,” Asa said. “We looked at it on Monday when Mommy dropped me off. You should come look at it. It has a huge ass kitchen.”

  I winced.

  Delanie was going to love that one.

  “Asa,” Booth snapped. “You know better.”

  Asa sighed. “I was just repeating what Uncle Bourne said.”

  “You were repeating an adult word, and you know that you’re not allowed to use adult words until you’re eighteen, or your mother is going to kill me,” Booth countered. “Then she’s going to question my parenting abilities and never let you stay with me again.”

  Asa scowled. “She will not.”

  I grinned at Booth, then turned to Asa. “Yes, she will. The last time you said the ‘s’ word, what happened?”

  Asa sighed. “I was grounded from my television for a week. That wasn’t fun. I missed the World Series.”

  Booth winced.

  “And your mother tore me a new one,” Booth supplied, then his eyes came to me. “And so did your aunt.”

  He raised his brows at me, and I flushed.

  “One of our city councilmen was getting donuts from me at the time,” I explained. “He was telling me how ‘well behaved my child was’ and Asa said that ‘his daddy said that the councilman needed to get his head out of his butt and stop playing as if he knew his s-h-i-t and clearly didn’t.’”

  Sadly, the city councilman for our city did ‘play as if he knew his shit’ and clearly didn’t.

  The representative was a man that had been voted in only because nobody had run against him. He’d won by de facto. The man that had been running against him had a car accident and had to drop out of the race practically the week before the voting was set to take place. Hence the reason we now had this man as a member of our city government.

  He didn’t have any understanding about what being a councilman entailed.