Joke's On You- To beta

by Vale, Lani Lynn

  Her face was completely red now, and where she was latching onto Kerrie’s forearms they were slick with blood from her nails.

  Her eyes flicked away, likely not wanting me to see death fall into her eyes, and she glanced at the ground.

  I watched in horror as Bobo, covered in wires, tubes, his back leg in a cast, and a new bullet hole in his side, crawled across the floor toward Dillan. He smeared blood all along the floor as he went, making tears burn my eyes.

  I kicked the cage that I found myself in harder, hoping that with just a little more force, the damn thing would bust open. Bend. Or break. Goddamn something. Anything.

  I was wrong. The little four by four cage was stout.

  They’d made the fuckin’ cage reinforced for a werewolf, apparently.

  Nausea churned in my gut as I watched Kerrie pull one hand away from Dillan’s face and aim his gun at the dog.

  Dillan took her free hand and punched Kerrie in the throat.

  It was feeble at best. Weak and useless as she gasped for breath and tried to recuperate from her oxygen deprivation.

  Kerrie turned his eyes to Dillan, then he placed the gun underneath her chin.

  I bent over and threw up, which was how I missed the dog launching himself at Kerrie.

  I looked up from puking to find Kerrie screaming, high-pitched and horror-filled.

  The dog was latched onto what I assumed were Kerrie’s balls.

  The gun hit the floor.

  But Kerrie’s grip on Dillan didn’t fade.

  He pulled her down with him. Her head slammed hard against the exam table, and then she was lying there, limply, passed out cold.

  Or dead.

  I screamed again.

  A door slammed and Malachi came running down the length of the hallway, his eyes wild.

  “Help her!” I screamed. “Help her!”

  Malachi ran right past me, gun in his hand, and pointed in the room.

  He took a few seconds to comprehend what was going on, then moved quickly to apprehend Kerrie.

  Seconds after that, it was all over.

  The night attendant, which I would later learn was named Asia, opened the lock using a massive ring of keys.

  Hesitantly she let me out, then moved quickly to the side as the gate swung in her direction in my haste to get inside the room across from me.

  Uncaring of my wounds, or the still growling dog, I ran right up to Dillan, swept her up in my arms, and pulled her in tight to my chest.

  It was only as I was rocking her quietly that I realized that I was accusing the two other people in the room—Malachi and Asia—of whatever shit was spewing out of my mouth.

  “Where the fuck were y’all?” I growled.

  “The place is soundproofed,” the night attendant whispered. “All the barking.” She gestured to the kennels as a whole. “It has to be soundproofed, or that’s all the customers hear all day every day when they’re out in the lobby. We didn’t hear a thing until we opened the door that led back here.”

  I closed my eyes as tears stung my eyes.

  “She’s okay.”

  Malachi.

  I opened my eyes and nodded my head once.

  I could feel her pulse, strong and steady, against my hand that was delicately wrapped around her throat. My fingers resting on her carotid.

  “She’s unconscious,” I said. “She hit her head on that table as she fell. Then the dog bit Kerrie on his dick.”

  Kerrie was still screaming. Loudly.

  “The dog bit his penis off.”

  I looked over to find Asia staring at a hunk of meat on the ground.

  “The dog’s shot,” I croaked. “Call the doctor.”

  “I did,” she said. “Just a minute ago.”

  I closed my eyes.

  And blocked out everything but the reassuring beat of Dillan’s heart.

  Chapter 16

  If I had to describe myself using only one word? ‘Does not follow directions well.’

  -Dillan to Delanie

  Dillan

  “I’m fine!” I cried.

  Only, it sounded like I croaked it more than cried it.

  I sounded like a man.

  It was even worse than last time.

  And I’d had to close my shop on the second day of my grand reopening.

  “You’re not fine, you’re…” Delanie tried.

  “You’re pregnant,” the doctor chirped as he came in the room. “I’d say about four weeks along. We’re going to keep you overnight. We want to monitor your oxygen levels, that nasty bump on your head could be a concussion, and you tested positive for the flu.”

  I blinked. “The flu?”

  “Pregnant?” Delanie squeaked.

  “The start of a concussion?” Booth asked. “What’s a start of a concussion?”

  The doctor blinked. He was cute. Tall, dark and handsome. The ultimate package.

  His nametag read ‘Zach Caruso, MD’ on it. Yum.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was in here with you.” He looked sheepish. “I wouldn’t have just spouted all that information out.” He looked at Booth. “Yes, the start of a concussion. I think that it is one, albeit small. We’re going to monitor her. Check her every hour for the next twelve hours or so. Make sure her vitals are all steady. And that’s a two-fold reason.” He paused and looked at me. “Is it okay to discuss this in front of everyone?”

  “I’m not sure how you missed everybody, doc. We haven’t left her room,” Malachi drawled.

  “Yeah, Doc,” Ford drawled.

  Zach turned his eyes to Ford. “Fuck off.”

  I blinked.

  Surely, I hadn’t heard him right.

  But then Ford started to laugh, and I realized that I had.

  “I’m sorry. There was a rather unsettling case before you.” He shuddered. “A man lost his peni…” He trailed off. “Sorry, I’m not allowed to discuss that. HIPPA violations are a bitch.”

  “Don’t worry,” Ford said. “We know exactly what happened because some of us were there.” He pointed to the Three Musketeers as Malachi, me, and Booth were being called as of the last hour. “And we got all the juicy tidbits. It’s a shame that the dog ate the penis and all.”

  I gagged.

  But, granted, the dog hadn’t actually eaten the penis. Booth had picked it up and tossed it into the incinerator that the vets used to cremate the pets that died while on the premises.

  No one had said a word.

  And since it’d been done before the rest of the cops had gotten there, nobody would be the wiser.

  And poor ol’ Kerrie had been passed the fuck out thanks to a foot in the face when Booth had gotten tired of listening to him.

  Though, that only happened when I woke up and started to cry, apparently.

  “Got it,” he said as he looked at the wall of SWAT team members in my small room. “Well, uh, would you like to discuss this with…” He gestured to everyone with a lift of his chin.

  I shrugged. “They’re family. You’re not really going to say anything that they won’t know shortly anyhow.”

  Zach nodded, then went on to tell me about how I was pregnant, they were keeping me overnight to again, monitor everything, but I would likely be out of here by tomorrow morning if everything went well throughout the night.

  Kerrie, sadly for him, couldn’t have the same thing said about him.

  He’d lost a lot of blood when Bobo had done his thing. He’d be in there for a bit while they watched over him, including a surgery so he could pee thanks to his mangled penis. Get his levels back to normal, sew his non-dick up the best they could, and then send him on his way to the prison for breaking his bail stipulations.

  Speaking of Bobo.

  “How is Bobo?” I asked, turning to look at Malachi.

  Just before the doctor had come in, Malachi had gone outside to take a call from the vet.

&
nbsp; “He’s good,” Malachi said. “He was under sedation again, but they said that the bullet just skimmed the top of his shoulder. Nothing other than skin damage. Thank goodness.”

  “Thank God,” I breathed. “That guy deserves everything for saving me.”

  “A-fucking-men,” Booth said from his perch on the side of my bed. “I’m buying that dog a goddamn steak dinner as soon as he’s allowed solid food.”

  We all smiled.

  That smile slid off of our faces when Nico walked into the room.

  He looked pissed as hell.

  “Did you find out how the hell he got out?” Booth asked, sounding calm, but I could feel the tension radiating in his body.

  “Yep,” he said. “He bribed one of the parole officers that control the monitors to turn it off. Wanted to give him a house.”

  Bourne smacked his head with the palm of his hand. “Fucking idiot.”

  I agreed wholeheartedly.

  Fucking idiot indeed.

  Epilogue

  Oh for fuck’s sake.

  -T-shirt

  Booth

  “Don’t look, okay?”

  “Booth,” she whined. “Come on! It’s my birthday! I should get to open it!”

  “Not until after we’re married,” I teased.

  She stomped her foot in agitation.

  Her white high-heeled shoes caused her rather lovely legs to contract, making my heart race.

  I could see her from the waist down.

  There was a swinging door between the two of us, keeping us from seeing each other until after the wedding.

  I was slowly dying inside, though.

  I hadn’t spent a day without her since she’d moved into my house permanently.

  Needless to say, last night had been an absolute nightmare.

  I hadn’t been able to sleep worth a shit since she’d gone over to her sister’s place, and it hadn’t helped that Asa had gotten a migraine toward the end of the night, causing his puke to start flowing.

  Speaking of…

  “Have you seen Asa?” I asked. “He was supposed to come in here and sit on the couch while he waited to be dressed.”

  “He’s in here sleeping on the couch,” she said. “You should’ve been more specific with which couch.”

  I grinned. “He had a rough night.”

  She moved so that she was away from the door, and it took everything I had not to push the swinging doors open and peek inside.

  “He’s such a sweetheart,” she said. “He told me I looked beautiful in my dress. I was in my bathrobe.”

  I chuckled and pulled her wedding band from my pocket.

  “How’s my other baby doing?” I asked.

  She was officially four months along and didn’t look pregnant at all.

  I was hoping that she would start to show any day now.

  I missed out on all the fun pregnancy stuff with Delanie.

  Not that I would’ve participated in the same way with her as I had with Dillan, but still.

  I got to go to sonograms, doctor visits, listen to his heartbeat.

  Hell, I’d even bought her one of those portable dopplers so we could listen to it at home.

  And I loved feeling the changes in her body.

  Couldn’t wait for the next step.

  “He’s okay,” she said. “He’s giving me indigestion, though. I ate five donuts.”

  I snickered.

  “She,” I corrected teasingly.

  We didn’t know the sex and didn’t plan on knowing it.

  But when the day came that the baby was born, we were hoping to be surprised.

  We didn’t care what we had, as long as the baby was healthy.

  “Whatever.” Dillan snickered and leaned up until her nose peeked out over the swinging doors. “Kiss me. And get ready to make me yours officially.”

  “I’ve been ready,” I teased, licking her nose instead.

  She pulled back with a giggle.

  “Love you, baby,” I said softly.

  She pushed the doors open until only her face was showing. “Kiss me for real.”

  I didn’t miss a beat.

  “If my kid wasn’t in there right now,” I growled against her lips. “I’d be taking you right here, right now. You wouldn’t even have to show me your dress.”

  She giggled against my lips. “Go. Hurry. I’ll meet you at the altar.” She paused. “I’ll bring your son with me when I come.”

  With one final kiss, I did what I was told.

  And indeed met her at the altar.

  My son held her hand the entire way.

  ***

  “I LOVE IT!” she cried.

  Dillan held the big blanket that’ I’d purchased for her out, three quarters of it dragging the floor as she held it as wide as she could, and wrapped it around herself. Then she flicked her finger out to Asa. “Asa! Come over here!”

  Asa did, and soon he was swallowed up by the blanket, too.

  “Let’s see how many we can fit,” she said.

  Soon she had me, Bourne, my dad, Asa, and Delanie in the blanket that I’d bought her for her birthday.

  “I’m guessing you like it?” Bourne drawled.

  “You’re touching my boob, Dillan.” Delanie giggled and struggled her way out of the blanket.

  “That wasn’t me!” she called out as everyone abandoned her.

  I stayed right where I was and wrapped my arms around her torso, pulling her in tight.

  “How does it feel to be Mrs. Pena?” I asked curiously.

  “Like a dream come true.”

  What’s Next?

  Join The Club

  Book 7 in The SWAT Generation 2.0 Series

  7-14-2020

  Chapter 1

  You’re the sprinkles to my donut.

  -Text from Bourne to Booth

  Bourne

  “Bro.”

  I looked up and over at my brother, Booth.

  “What?”

  He gestured toward his kid who was sleeping in his arms.

  “Can you get the door?”

  I did, standing up from my perch on the best goddamn couch in the world.

  “Sure,” I said as I got the door.

  The wind hit me in the face the moment that I opened it.

  The screen door slammed shut so hard that I nearly lost two fingers, and I backed up rather quickly before it hit me in the face.

  “I think,” I said as I pushed the door open again and held it with my foot this time, “I’m kind of boned for now.”

  “You can wait it out. It’s supposed to be loud, strong, and short. The weatherman said it’d be an intense eight minutes.”

  Delanie’s husky voice sounded from behind me, and my semi became an instant hard-on.

  It’d been semi-hard since I’d walked into her house an hour before.

  Today was Booth’s day for visitation with their son, Asa.

  Delanie and Booth. Booth being my twin brother.

  The reason I was there was because Delanie had bought Asa a new bed. A new bed that they’d delivered, put together, and then had left in the middle of the room. The bed was heavy, made of solid wood, and neither Delanie nor her twin sister, Dillan, could move it.

  Hence the reason I’d been asked to come over today, in my tux, right before a fucking wedding.

  The bed had been heavy. And it was on my list of things to do to call the fucking furniture company and rip them a new one for not finishing the job they were hired to do.

  I glanced backward at Delanie in her short black dress, then turned my head toward where the storm was quickly brewing and wondered if I should just chance the rain.

  But then I saw a trampoline rolling down the road and realized that would be incredibly dumb.

  “When is it supposed to hit?” Booth asked. “I’m literally twenty minutes away.”

  We were.

  W
e lived in a subdivision—one that housed about sixteen duplexes, almost all of them occupied by a cop or a cop’s kid—that was literally a hop, skip, and jump down the road.

  But then the first drop of rain hit me square in the face, and I realized that I might as well stay.

  I was already dressed and ready to go. And if it was short like they said it was going to be, then there was no reason for me to go home just to turn around and leave again. I was literally eight minutes from my destination if I left from here.

  “I’ll stay,” I murmured.

  Booth gave me a thumb up and took off, glancing down the road at the trampoline that was still rolling in the direction that he needed to go.

  “Who has a trampoline that lives near you?” I asked as I closed the door once my brother had gotten into his truck.

  “The neighbors have grandkids. They just bought it. Why?” she asked.

  I turned to find her bent over, slipping on black sky-high heels that made her legs look fucking amazing.

  I turned quickly away, but it didn’t matter. The vision of her in my head was branded there for always.

  Delanie was super tall. About five foot ten or so.

  She was blonde-haired, fair-skinned, and had the most exquisite pastel blue eyes I’d ever seen in my life.

  Which was saying something since Delanie had a twin sister, Dillan, who was also identical to her.

  But there was just something about Delanie.

  She had short blonde hair that was just underneath her chin, and today it was curled and cute, and I wanted to latch onto it with both fists and kiss the hell out of her.

  But, alas, I couldn’t do that.

  Not to my brother’s baby mama.

  It was already really fuckin’ awkward.

  Booth was in love with Dillan. Had been since we were in high school.

  Yet, he’d had a kid with Delanie.

  It was a messed up situation, and something that had always been a faux pas since it’d happened.

  “Because it’s now down the street. I’m guessing it’s long gone.”

  “Oh, no.” She stood up, her face flushed from being bent over. “That’s awful. I watched them put that together in the dark the night before their grandkid’s birthday. They seriously were out there forever with flashlights. I felt so bad for them.”

  I winced.

  “Tomorrow I’ll see about coming and helping them get it back into place,” I said. “What’s on your agenda tonight?”