Lost Pup: The Fools' Circus, #1

by Dani Rei

  Blake’s body shoots to sit upright, lips pulled back like an angry dog. “Ian! Where is he?”

  “Rex locked him in his room for the rest of the day. His form of punishment, I guess. He won’t even let him eat until tomorrow.”

  “Good, fuck him,” Blake hisses. “Let him starve to death.”

  “Blake, I know you’re pissed. Believe me, so am I, but you really need to be more careful. I don’t need you getting hurt, too.”

  “Too late for that.” He bites his tongue, but the words left his mouth too quickly.

  Inez tenses on the spot and drops an empty gaze to the floor. Blake lets out a long sigh, guilt wrenching in his chest. That was horrible of him; uncalled for. How long did she wait by his side under no obligation? She cares enough to be here; shouldn’t that count for anything?

  He scoots down to sit on the floor beside her and drops his head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Inez. For everything. I’m sorry you had to see me like that. I’m sorry for my attitude, too. I’m just...not thrilled about the bruise on my jaw. And I’m worried about Mishkin.”

  “I know, it’s okay. No one is arguing, though. This shouldn’t have happened.”

  “Did he wake up?”

  “We don’t know yet.”

  Chapter 18

  T

  he air hangs heavy in the mansion. Breakfast lines the table, but only a handful of people can eat. Those who have grabbed plates are taking their time, eyes glossed over as their minds travel elsewhere, and only a few of them manage to clean their plates. Throughout the halls, cast and crew members mumble among themselves about how terrible it all is. Echoes of “poor Mishkin” or “poor Vladik” or “Ian is a goner.”

  Word of Ian’s cruelty had spread before, but the few who refused to believe it can no longer ignore his actions. Ian remains locked in his room. Given some of the whispers among the crowd, it’s likely for his own safety. Blake and Inez sit in the lobby on a cushioned bench.

  “I hate them both,” Blake mumbles. “Ian and Rex. They both had their part in this.”

  “I know,” says Inez. “But going up against Rex is a death wish. He’s our king, and most of the people here love him. Unless you want to be in the same position as Mishkin, you need to be more careful.”

  “How can you say that?” Blake exclaims. “How does everyone just allow this?”

  “No one is allowing this. They’re all blaming Ian. Mishkin never had this problem before. The heart condition was always there, but it was Ian’s terrible coaching that triggered this.”

  “And what do you think? Do you think I’m wrong to blame him? Rex put Mishkin on Ian’s team for a reason, right? Even Allistair went along with it.”

  “Allistair puts his father on an untouchable pedestal. He won’t believe that Rex would do something like this. I think you’re right to be angry, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to point fingers so loudly.”

  Blake clenches his jaw and focuses his burning gaze on the floor. Flashes of Mishkin’s limp body in Vladik’s arms have been racing through his mind all night. The lack of sleep isn’t making Blake feel any better now.

  Allistair comes in through the front door, holding it open for Knox, Melody, and a crew member that Blake hasn’t met yet. Knox has an arm around Melody’s shoulder, his head hung low. Melody is wiping her eyes with her dress sleeve.

  Allistair looks to them with a blank expression. “Inez and Blake, let’s go.”

  

  INEZ SITS UP FRONT, and Blake slouches in the back, brooding at the circumstances. The weight of the silence in the car is making his chest ache. “Are there any updates?”

  “Not yet,” Allistair responds. “It could still go either way. His heart stopped, which means no oxygen was getting into his body. Even if he lives, there’s a chance of brain damage.”

  Inez covers her mouth and Blake growls. “Mishkin is our friend!” he yells. “And hell, you’ve known him longer than I have! How could you let Ian do this?”

  Allistair swerves into the breakdown lane, so fast that Blake’s head hits the window. A car blares its horn behind him, and Allistair slams hard on the brakes, yanking all of them forward. He turns in his chair to glare at Blake.

  “Don’t you dare say that again!” he yells. “I didn’t let Ian do anything. I tried to stop him, and he ignored me. I tried to get my father to cancel the challenge. And we couldn’t because I had to fucking prove myself. I couldn’t just take over. I had to prove I deserve it.”

  Blake glares back, body trembling, the bump on his head throbbing. Silence paralyzes them until Allistair turns to sit upright in his seat and covers his face with his hand. Inez lifts her crying eyes from where they were hiding in her hands.

  “It’s not that proving myself is bad or unfair. I get it, and I want the others to have a voice in the mansion. But Ian has always been this way. Always fighting back things that weren’t against him to begin with. It’s all his fault. He didn’t obey the rules.” Allistair’s voice wavers. “When I’m in charge, people like him won’t have a chance at my circus. I won’t let people challenge each other out of pettiness. If it was anyone else, it would have been out of integrity. I would’ve welcomed it. But it had to be fucking Ian.”

  Allistair leans his head on the steering wheel, his body quivering. “He challenged me out of spite. For no reason other than to stroke his own ego! And now Mishkin might...”

  His voice trails off into a sob as Inez rubs Allistair’s back. Blake’s head is hanging low from his shoulders, and his own eyes are stinging. “I’m sorry.”

  Allistair lifts his head from the steering wheel, drying his face and forcing the tears back with a deep breath. “We have to get a grip. Vladik was there all night and can’t stand any more water works.”

  “Can we stop to get flowers?” Inez asks, following his lead and fixing her own posture. Allistair nods as he pulls the car back to the street.

  Silence drowns the rest of the car ride and nags at Blake’s gut.

  

  THE THREE CREEP INTO THE ROOM where Mishkin lies on his back, an oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose. Vladik is lying next to him, pressing his lips to Mishkin’s forehead. He stands as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders; the light in his eyes has dimmed. He trudges over to grab the bouquet from Inez and hugs her. “Thank you, Kroshka.”

  Blake steps over to look down at Mishkin, who may as well be naked without cat ears.

  “Wow, you look almost human,” he mutters, glancing at the others to make sure they don’t hear him. “Got to wake up if you want to see what happens with me and Inez. You’d like that, right? Nosey cat.”

  Flashes of Inez’s rejection flood his mind and his heart sinks. “Then again, I’m not sure there’s much to tell.”

  Vladik squeezes Blake’s shoulder, and Blake turns to hug him in response. “I’m so sorry.”

  “My husband is stronger than this,” Vladik responds. “Since I met him, he’s always made me jealous of his optimism.”

  “Do you mind if I ask how you met?”

  Vladik sits on the bed next to Mishkin, gazing at his unconscious face with gentle eyes.

  “In Russia, I had friend in my neighborhood. I loved him. When I told my father, he beat me, saying how filthy I was to have such thoughts for another boy. I was boney, skinny child. How I survived is mystery. The next day, I told my friend how I felt, and he got other friends to beat me down, spit on me. At night, I snuck onto train. Traveled for days, back and forth, anywhere but home.

  “They found me, threw me off in Italy. There I find frail boy doing handstands and flips on bridge. People threw coins into hat and cheered. It was amazing. I never saw so much energy from such a bruised, dirty child. His name was Alesandre. He lost his mother to an abusive father and lived on the street, but he was still so cheerful. I had to protect him. I worked out to build muscle, and soon I could lift him, and we worked together, his agility and my strength. My love for him g
rew every day, but I was afraid to tell him. So afraid his smile for me would turn to disgust.

  “Then, Rex found us. Offered us food and shelter for performing in circus. I wasn’t so sure, but Alesandre decided, optimistic as always. I couldn’t let him go alone. When we arrived, they greeted us with warmth. Gave me courage to confess my feelings for Alesandre. Instead of being disgusted, we shared our first kiss during Midnight Dance. He changed his name to Mishkin, and we married with Rex’s blessing. I can’t imagine life without him now.”

  “By the time I got there,” Inez chimes in, “Mishkin was already wearing the cat ears. Vladik called me Kroshka because of a headband I was wearing.”

  “She had knot on top,” Vladik chuckles. “Like rabbit ears. But she was also skittish, like bunny.”

  “These two helped me open up. Vladik was fifteen and Mishkin was thirteen. He was so excited to get the dermal piercings and fangs. I remember your wedding too. You guys had Black Forest cake, Mishkin’s favorite.”

  “It was happiest day of my life,” Vladik says with a smile.

  A smile finds its way onto Blake’s face, and he’s doing his best to picture a tiny, skinny Vladik and a Mishkin who wasn’t wearing cat ears. It warms his heart to know this kind of love exists in the world. He asks Vladik about some of his favorite memories with Mishkin, and he tells them with a new spark of life in his eyes.

  As they chat away, Blake can feel his heart lifting again. While Allistair is throwing in a few memories of his own, Blake turns his attention back to the unconscious Mishkin.

  You can hear all of this, right? We’re all here for you, Mishkin. We’re all waiting for you.

  Wake up.

  Chapter 19

  “W

  e’ve delayed preparations for the Blasphemer’s Ball,” says Victor. “We won’t start until we know more about Mishkin’s condition.”

  Blake nods from his seat in the office, heart pounding as he waits to hear his punishment for lashing out at Rex, who is—of course—standing right next to Victor. The tranquil demeanor about him somehow isn’t comforting.

  “On a lighter note,” Rex says, smiling, “Victor will make you a suit as soon as he is able. He also likes to match suits for the couples. I must say, the set for Mishkin and Vladik is absolutely stunning. So, is there anyone you plan to attend the ball with, so you can match?”

  Blake wants to say Inez’s name, but her rejection flashes into his mind again, and his heart sinks. “No. No, I guess I don’t.”

  “You see?” says Victor. “I told you, nothing to worry about.”

  Blake shoots a look at each of them.

  “Inez and Allistair are childhood sweethearts,” Rex explains. “I was concerned that Inez didn’t like him anymore, but that can’t be true. People don’t just fall out of love so easily.”

  “So that’s it?” says Blake. “You brought me here about a suit and Inez’s relationship problems?”

  “Not quite,” says Rex. “I did ask you to find out where Inez has been going, but unfortunately we haven’t had time to talk. So, what did you find out?”

  Blake’s heart leaps in his chest, but he clears his throat to hide it, trying to keep his voice steady. “Sorry. She hasn’t told me anything.”

  “Is that so?”

  Blake nods.

  “I find that quite hard to believe, considering I saw her leave your room the other day.”

  “We were out,” Blake pauses to consider his words, choosing them carefully. “Practicing. The rain got us. We could hardly see from all the water dripping down our faces. She left almost instantly.”

  “That must have been quite disappointing.” Rex smirks.

  Blake shrugs. “Not really.”

  “You can drop the apathy,” says Rex. “I’ve seen the two of you practice.”

  “We get along,” says Blake. “Practice is fun. That’s about it.”

  “See?” Victor butts in. “The practice! Blake is a talented man learning a new skill. That’s fun for those showy types. My brother was the same way—”

  “Silence,” Rex snarls at Victor, who shrinks in his seat. Rex turns his attention back to Blake with a softer smile. “So, your love belongs to your new skill, is that it? Your eyes trace Inez’s body because you’re in love with the poi?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Do not confuse foolishness with stupidity,” Rex’s voice thunders through the office, sending a jolt of fear through Blake. Even Victor tenses at the shift in tone. “You’re as transparent as a teenage virgin. Do you truly believe you have a chance with someone like her?”

  A pang shoots through Blake’s chest as the memory of her rejection pops up again. His eyes fall to the carpet beneath him.

  “No. Of course I don’t. But I also don’t expect her to marry someone she doesn’t even love. She isn’t exactly the submissive, obedient type. But I’m sure you figured that out, already.”

  Rex’s lip twitches, as if holding back a snarl. “You hardly know the woman. And based on your somber tones, I’m guessing you already confessed your feelings, and she turned you down, didn’t she?”

  Blake’s shoulders slump as if they held weighted chains.

  “That’s what I thought. Don’t fret, Pup. When you return home next year, you’ll meet plenty of girls that are more in your league. After all, I can’t deny that you are quite the handsome young man. It’s just a shame your talents can’t keep up.”

  Blake shrugs with gritting teeth, doing his best to pretend his blood isn’t boiling.

  “Rex, please,” Victor mumbles, but Rex holds out a hand to quiet him. Victor shoots Blake an apologetic look before dropping his eyes back to his papers.

  Thanks anyway.

  “Say it,” says Rex, his voice quiet, but stern. “Tell me you’ve given up your hopes of seducing our Fire Goddess.”

  Blake’s head lowers as the chains get heavier. Rex’s glare burns into his skin.

  “No. I didn’t tell her how I feel yet, but I will.”

  “Beg pardon?” Rex sneers.

  Victor’s wide eyes dart at Blake, and he shakes his head, making a slashing motion with his hand.

  It doesn’t matter. Rex has made it clear he won’t renew Blake’s contract at the end of the year, so it’s not like he needs to kiss up anymore.

  “You’re right, I can’t measure up to someone like Allistair. I can’t compete with anyone around here. All logic points Inez in Allistair’s direction. But emotions aren’t always logical. I care about Inez. I want to be with her. I’ll find out how she feels. If she turns me down, then so be it, but at least I’ll know for sure.” He stands from his seat and nods to Victor. “Thank you for the suit in advance. And Rex, I’m sorry for my outburst when Mishkin passed out. I know it isn’t your fault. I just got carried away. Mishkin is my friend and I was worried.”

  “I understand,” Rex says with a small smile. “It comforts me that you would look after my children as if they were family.”

  Blake turns and heads toward the door.

  “One last thing,” Rex calls. Blake stops, but he doesn’t turn around, in case the hurt is showing on his face.

  “If you insist on telling Inez how you feel, you have my blessing.”

  Yeah, right.

  “But please understand—for as tough as she is, she is fragile at heart. I’m concerned for her. I need your word that whatever she decides, you won’t force your feelings onto her.”

  His jaw clenches at the hypocrisy; at Ian’s harassment and how long he let it happen. And how she couldn’t do anything to protect herself if he’s watching.

  Choice words pile up at the back of his throat, begging for release, but he swallows them down. Going against Rex is a death wish.

  “You have my word. I would never force Inez to do anything.”

  Blake hears Victor groan to himself but takes Rex’s silence as a cue to leave, shutting the office door behind him. He heads toward the lobby and sees
Inez sitting in stone-faced silence. He sits next to her, amazed at how, even in doubt, just being near Inez can lift his heart.

  His conversation with Rex is replaying in his mind. He doesn’t care what Rex thinks—he knows he has to ask Inez to the ball. He has to tell her how he feels as soon as he can. But he’ll have to be more careful. Trying to kiss her or flirt won’t get him anywhere.

  “What did they say?” Inez asks.

  Blake blinks hard to bring his brain back to the present. “Eh, most of it was about the ball. It’s being delayed. Victor’s going to make me a suit, though.”

  “Is that all?”

  “That’s all that matters,” he says. “Listen, I know there isn’t much I can do, but if you ever need a shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to, I’m right here. I know it’s hard to reach out, but if ever you find the power to do so—”

  “Thank you, Blake,” says Inez as she lays her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. “That’s exactly what I need.”

  Blake sits in wide-eyed silence, heart racing as he slowly, gently puts an arm around her shoulders. She scoots herself closer, and a smile grows on his face.

  So what if she turns him down later? He’s still important to her, and that alone makes his heart soar.

  The front door crashes open, making everyone around leap in response. Allistair darts in, standing in the middle of the lobby, looking around at the few scattered faces with an ear-to-ear grin.

  “Mishkin’s awake!” he shouts. “He’s going to recover!”

  Inez puts her hands over her mouth, and Blake catches his breath. The other scattered members approach him with new light on their faces. Allistair puts his hands up in defense. “He has a lot of tests and stuff today, so we can’t visit until tomorrow. But he’ll be okay!”

  Allistair rushes down the hall, up the stairs, and takes a long lap around the second floor, shouting the joyous news at the top of his lungs. Everyone cheers, and the entire mansion seems to light up. Even the chains from Blake’s office visit feel lighter.