The Taste of Redemption

by I. A. Dice

  It took everything I had not to come too when I realised she was riding me bareback.

  She kissed my lips, and once she stopped trembling, she rose again, aware that I wasn’t done yet. I halted her efforts.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “We don’t want to get you pregnant by accident, do we?”

  I got out of the bath and helped Nadia before I swept her off her feet just to lay her on the bed ten seconds later. All I wanted was to flip her onto her stomach and plunge deep inside, but the bruises on her back limited the choice of positions a lot.

  “Again, baby doll.” I pushed my hips forward, a sharp, deep thrust.

  “You’ve got an enormous ego, Mister. You think you can make me come three times in one hour?”

  Yes, baby. Four, if I could hold off long enough.

  I couldn’t, though. It was easy to brag when Nadia was so damn sensitive. It didn’t take much work to make her squirm, and I loved that about her, because watching her come were the most rewarding seconds.

  Half an hour later, exhausted, I slipped on a pair of boxers, tossed Nadia one of my white t-shirts, and covered her with the duvet. She was asleep within minutes, her nose touching my arm, hand holding mine, our fingers intertwined.

  And for the first time in months, I closed my eyes knowing that tomorrow was going to be a good day.

  CHAPTER 19

  NADIA

  All the time

  The bed was empty when I opened my eyes, rested and blissful. Calmness didn’t last long. One of the worst things about my PTSD was jumping to conclusions. The empty bed triggered unwanted, irrational thoughts that Thomas changed his mind about us; that he must have left early to avoid confrontation; that he dumped me the way I dumped him.

  I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, rationalising his absence. Maybe he was taking a shower? A glance toward the en-suite bathroom proved me wrong. The house was quiet, as if it were empty. I jumped out of bed, scuttled out of the room and went down the stairs.

  I hadn’t noticed it last night, but the painting I gave him hung in the hallway, opposite the main entrance, making it the first thing anyone who passed the threshold saw. My heart swelled, and I relaxed when the sound of the coffee machine working in the kitchen reached my ears.

  Thomas stood behind the large island with a marble top counter. The kitchen was light and airy, packed with the latest technologies and a top-notch modern design, but nothing made an impression as much as the south-facing windows. That’s only if you didn’t count the owner.

  “I’ve been up for thirteen minutes,” Thomas said before he even turned around to look at me. “You can’t sleep without me?”

  There was no annoyance in his voice, but no amusement either. He looked confused, and I squirmed under his gaze.

  “It’ll pass; I promise. It’s just that…” I shook my head not finding the right words to explain. “I’ll ask James for different sleeping pills.”

  Thomas rose an eyebrow, a knowing look on his face.

  “It’s just that… what?”

  I padded closer and hopped onto the island, picking at my nails when he rested his hands on both sides of my thighs.

  “It’s not Adrian who has kept me up at night lately. It’s you. Now that I have you back, I’ll be fine. I just need a bit of time to…”

  “Believe I’m not going anywhere?” he asked moving his hands to cup my bum. “Not long ago, I was the insecure one, wondering how long it would take before you realise that you’re worth more than a guy like me.”

  I looked into his eyes. “The tables have turned.”

  “You don’t have to worry. I’m not going anywhere. You’re it for me, baby doll. It’s either you or a bitter-sweet life as a bachelor.” He pressed his lips to mine, the kiss delicate and affectionate. “I should’ve started with this,” he muttered. “Good morning.”

  I laced my hands on his neck, brushing my nose against his.

  “Good morning. Can I please get something off my chest without you interrupting me?”

  He turned to the coffee machine, handed me a cup and rested his back against the cupboards, offering his undivided attention.

  “I’m sorry,” I began, and held my finger up seeing that he wanted to protest. “I’m sorry I left. I could’ve stayed, but if Adrian would hurt himself because of that, there would be no fixing me. There would be nothing for you to love. I didn’t expect you to wait, just to understand. I had to go because it was the less destructive way for me.”

  Thomas watched me, but his eyes seemed unseeing. I knew what he was thinking about. He worried that Adrian would forever hold some power over me and that I would keep going back.

  “I understood until I saw your bruised face. There was no understanding or rationalising after that. He doesn’t deserve your help.”

  I dropped my gaze back to my hands. Thomas was right, and the rational part of me knew it, but the naïve Nadia had a romanticised vision of the truth.

  “I tried to help him. I did everything I could, but nothing works. At some point, I reached my limit. I probably wouldn’t see his issues for what they are if I hadn’t met you along the way, so thank you. I’m just sorry I dragged you into this. I tried to keep you at a distance, but you weren’t giving up, and I was falling for you so fast…”

  “I’m glad I didn’t let you push me away, but I hate that it took you so long to realise Adrian is not your responsibility.” He came closer and cupped my face. “Is that it? You got everything off your chest?”

  I bobbed my head, and Thomas rediscovered my lips.

  “Good. That’s the last conversation we have about this and the last time you apologised for leaving.” He pecked my nose. “Back to your sleeping problems. I fly over to Madrid every other week. I assume you’ll want to start classes in January, so you won’t be able to come with me, and I don’t want you to not sleep for days at a time.”

  I smiled, eyeing the contours of his face, the strong jawline, cheekbones as if hewed in stone and muscular arms clearly visible under the thin fabric of his black, long sleeved t-shirt.

  “What are you smiling at?” he asked.

  “You. You’re quite a something, you know that?”

  “So you said.”

  “Don’t worry about my insomnia. I’ll be fine.”

  He smirked, shaking his head. “Aren’t you always? I’ll figure out a way around the Madrid trips, and now… Shower, clothes and we’re going out for breakfast. I’m starving.”

  I slid my bum off the marble countertop to check the contents of the fridge. It was packed with high-protein shakes, yoghurts and eggs. Cherry tomatoes and two avocados were hidden behind a big jar of peanut butter. No wonder Thomas’s body was so perfectly toned. He wasn’t over-the-top muscular with disgusting veins throbbing everywhere. Thomas was ripped, but healthy. It looked like the fit image took a lot of work in and out of the gym.

  “Bread?” I asked.

  He opened a cupboard to his right and took out a loaf of brown, seeded toast bread. I chuckled, seeing his apprehension.

  “If you don’t like what I’ll make, then we can go out, but at least let me try. I’m not a bad cook, you know.”

  I rose on my toes, pressed a kiss to his lips, then shooed him out of the kitchen. He went upstairs to take a shower. A smart speaker stood on the windowsill next to three pots of fresh herbs that looked as if they were only there for decoration. The speaker didn’t react to my voice, so I grabbed Thomas’s phone from the counter to play some music.

  Five unread messages from Chrissy waited on the screen and twice as many missed calls. I took comfort seeing that Thomas didn’t bother to read them yet, but at the same time my stomach sank a little because he had to see her today.

  The room filled with John Newman’s new album while I chopped, smashed and boiled water in a deep-frying pan.

  Fifteen minutes later, Thomas came downstairs just as I served the avocado toasties with poached eggs and a side salad of cherry tomatoes
with basil.

  “If this tastes as good as it looks, expect an engagement ring in three to five working days,” he said, taking a seat by the breakfast bar.

  He bit into his toastie; his face unreadable while he chewed turned to delight when he swallowed.

  “So, what would you like? Diamonds, rubies, sapphires?”

  “How about thank you?”

  “Thank you.”

  He leaned out of his seat to peck my cheek then rose from his chair and stumbled out to the hallway. I heard him open the main door, and moments later he came back with the morning newspaper in hand. He ate, skimming the pages. I ended up giving him one of my toasties as one was quite enough for me.

  “I guess you’ll want to stop by the apartment and get dressed, right?” he asked, loading the dishwasher. “We don’t have much time left, so we should get going.”

  “Not much time? Where are we going?”

  “It’s Sunday—my day with Maya. We need to pick her up at noon.”

  “You want me to come? I’m not that good with kids, and what if her mum doesn’t want me there? I mean, she doesn’t even know me. You can just drop me off and come back when you’re done.”

  Thomas grabbed my coat from the hanger and draped it over my shoulders. I wasn’t ready to leave, but he was suddenly in a rush, and ignored my attire, or lack of thereof. I stood in the kitchen barefoot, wearing just his t-shirt.

  “They’re a big part of my life and so are you. I want you to meet them. Claudia won’t mind, and Maya already adores you.”

  ***

  I didn’t realise that Thomas kept the promise given to Adam and took care of Claudia and Maya. It melted me a little knowing that even during his darkest days, Thomas held onto the good inside him, supporting his best friend’s family.

  “Is she nice?” I asked when we exited the car outside of Claudia’s place. “Should I worry?”

  Thomas chuckled, kissing my temple, and to my surprise, he knocked on the door instead of barging in the way he did when he visited me or Nick.

  “She’s opinionated, but she’ll be happy to meet you. I think she has wanted me to settle down for a long time now.”

  A tall brunette yanked the door open. “I didn’t expect you so early.” She paused when her eyes stopped on me, then darted to Thomas. “Wow,” she mouthed. “Well done.”

  “Hey,” Thomas kissed her cheek. “This is Nadia. Good job not making her uncomfortable.”

  Claudia outstretched her hand to me, grinning. “Sorry, I’m Claudia. I hoped I’d meet you soon.” She punched Thomas’s shoulder, pulling on the stretched, white t-shirt she wore. “A little heads-up would’ve been nice. Come in. Maya went for a walk with Richard.”

  We entered the small apartment and walked across the living room full of mismatched furniture, careful not to step on any toys. The smell of freshly baked apple pie made my mouth water. Thomas held my hand, as if he was afraid that I would make a run for it. I wouldn’t think of it without a slice of pie.

  “So, do you mind telling me how this,” Claudia gestured to us, “happened?”

  She put the kettle on, resting her back on the countertop.

  Thomas helped me out of my coat. “Don’t act surprised,”

  “I am, actually. I’m happy you worked things out, but I’m curious because you’re the most stubborn person I know.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say. People change, Claudia.”

  His phone started ringing, and he fished it out of his pocket. The screen lit up with Chrissy, making me cringe.

  Thomas wanted me. There was no rational reason to be jealous, but jealousy wasn’t a rational feeling.

  “Take it,” I said seeing he was about to reject the call. “She’s been calling all morning.”

  He slid his finger across the screen, pressing the phone to his ear.

  “Hey, Chrissy. I was going to call you back later.”

  I didn’t want to hear their conversation and obsess over every small detail like the look on his face, the tone of his voice or the words he spoke. I tapped his shoulder, gesturing toward the living room.

  “You look ready to throw up.” Claudia wrinkled her nose. “Who’s Chrissy?”

  “Thomas didn’t tell you about her?”

  She shook her head, reassuring my insecurities. Claudia was important to Thomas, and as he failed to tell her about Chrissy, it was safe to assume he didn’t feel there was anything worth mentioning.

  “She is…”

  “Was,” Thomas corrected, entering the kitchen. “She was a distraction. Before you throw something heavy at me,” he looked at Claudia, “she was not the kind of distraction you have in mind.”

  “I don’t need the details.” She placed two cups on the table.

  I sipped on the coffee, glancing around the room. “Will it be very rude if I ask for a slice of pie?”

  Claudia’s eyes lit up, a smile growing wider. She pulled the oven door open, and the smell intensified, reminding me of when Dad, Nick and I used to visit grandma on Sunday afternoons. She lived out in the countryside in a cottage she had spent her whole life in. A small orchard tucked away in the back was my favourite place when apples were in season.

  “Not at all! I didn’t offer because Thomas gets nauseous whenever he has to eat something I make. I thought he might’ve warned you not to eat here.”

  “That’s because you can’t cook,” Thomas pointed out.

  “But I can bake.”

  “Then we’d make a decent duo,” I said when she placed a small plate in front of me. “I can’t bake, but I can cook just fine.”

  The pie looked as if it was taken straight out of a commercial—perfectly fluffy and golden-brown. I stuffed my mouth with a forkful, letting out a quiet sigh. It was delicious—just like grandma used to make years ago.

  “Okay, I’m sold,” Thomas said. “Let me try.” He reached to take my fork, but I moved away.

  “Get your own. I don’t share.”

  Claudia giggled, placing another slice on a clean plate for Thomas to enjoy. I was done before he went through half of his, so I poked around his plate, stealing a few small pieces.

  “Thomas!” We heard a small voice call from the living room a while later. Maya ran into the kitchen in red rain boots and a yellow raincoat, her nose pink from the cold. She climbed onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

  “Hey, sunshine. How did you know I was here?”

  A man in his late thirties entered the room. “She sprinted back here when she saw your car.” He held his hand out for Thomas to shake, then outstretched it to me. “You must be Nadia. I’m Richard.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  Maya stood back on the floor and struggled with the zipper on her coat, glancing at me.

  “Can we have the same hair again?”

  “I’m sure Amelia won’t mind braiding our hair.”

  We took Maya out for lunch and over to a soft play area. I never would’ve pegged Thomas as someone who knew how to handle a three-year-old, but their connection was undeniable. Maya adored him, and Thomas’s features softened whenever he looked at her. I found it rather entertaining to watch him kick a ball with Maya.

  “Can I have ice cream?” she asked when I helped her put the raincoat on since it was time to visit my brother.

  “It’s December, sunshine,” Thomas said. “It’s too cold for ice-cream, but you can have a cookie.”

  “What about me? I want a cookie too.”

  Thomas leaned in to peck my lips. “Okay, two cookies it is.”

  “Why do you kiss her all the time?” Maya asked, pulling a wool hat over her head.

  “I don’t kiss her all the time.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  They bickered all the way to the bakery. Thomas bought a box of chocolate-chip cookies but made us wait until we arrived at the cottage to eat them.

  “Hello!” Maya yelled from the threshold.

  She skipped inside and stopp
ed in the middle of the hallway. My brother emerged from the living room; his eyes looked heavy as if he had just woken up from an afternoon nap.

  “Well, hello princess.” He took her hat off. “Is it raining?”

  “Yes! We can’t feed the ducks. What will we do?”

  Nick looked across the hall, freezing in place. Amelia joined the party, stopping next to her husband, equally dumbstruck to see Thomas help me out of my faux-fur coat. Maya looked over her shoulder, probably confused by the sudden silence, and averted her gaze to Nick, gesturing for him to come closer.

  He came down on one knee, tilting his head to the side as if expecting her to whisper in his ear. Instead, she pointed to the zipper on her jacket. She was the most spirited little girl I ever came across. Not even Mel could make Nick dance to her tune with such ease.

  “Thomas kisses Nadia all the time,” Maya blurted.

  Mel’s mouth stretched into the signature Cheshire-cat grin, and I could almost hear her excitement.

  “Not all the time,” Thomas feigned indignation. “Just a lot.”

  Nick attempted to hide his smile, focusing on Maya who stomped her little foot and plopped down on the tiles to take her shoes off.

  Thomas wrapped his arm around my stomach, drew me back, and pressed a kiss to my neck when Maya turned around again.

  “See? All the time!”

  Nick laughed. “Yes, I see, but that’s quite okay.”

  Maya skipped into the kitchen, dropping the subject the kiddie way. We had spent five hours together, and I had yet to see her walk at a normal pace. Amelia watched us; her excitement was almost palpable.

  “That’s my cue,” she said, rocking on her feet, trying her hardest not to run and hug me. “You’ve no idea how glad I am you’re back together,” she told us then entered the kitchen, ready to braid Maya’s hair.

  “Go,” Thomas said in my ear, ceasing the opportunity to leave a kiss there. “I’m sure she has more questions than there are answers.”