The Taste of Redemption

by I. A. Dice

  James waited patiently until I stopped daydreaming. He was used to it by now. I dived headfirst into memories during every session.

  “I relaxed seeing his sorrow,” I said. “Calmness washed over me every time because I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. In my head, a thick line divides sober Adrian and Adrian on drugs. They’re two different people.”

  “There is no line, Nadia. Sober Adrian chooses to get high. They’re one person. One can’t exist without the other.” He scribbled in his notepad and looked up again. “It would be a good idea to bring Thomas along to our sessions after New Year. He should understand what co-dependency is. It’ll be easier for him to help you recover.”

  I shook my head, crossing my arms. “No. We’re keeping Thomas out of this. I don’t want him to worry. I have to do this alone.”

  “No, you don’t. It’ll be easier if you let people in. You told them the truth, now accept their help. Co-dependency is difficult to tackle because it can seem so innocent to the other person. Thomas should know the signs; like that, he won’t unintentionally exploit your weaknesses. He loves you, and I’m sure he wants to help, Nadia.”

  I hated it when people were right.

  “I’ll think about it. Now, if you don’t mind, we can call it a day.”

  “Sure. I’ll see you on Monday, right?”

  “Yes.” I slipped my coat on and took a small box out of my bag. “Merry Christmas.”

  He tore the red and gold wrapping paper apart to reveal a white box. Inside was a mug that read: Psychiatrist. Not a magician, but I understand your confusion.

  “You’ve got superpowers,” I said, enjoying the smile on his face. “Thank you.”

  “My pleasure.” He opened a drawer in his desk and struggled to take out a gift bag. “I shouldn’t have put it here,” he scoffed, barely managing to free the bag of its confinement. “Merry Christmas, Nadia.”

  I reached inside the bag, chuckling when I fished out a pillow. A red shooting target was printed on the white fabric with Scream Here printed across in black letters.

  “That might actually come in handy. Thank you.”

  I marched out of his office, across the street and toward the C&G Records building that was just a five-minute stroll away. Instead of taking two cars this morning, Thomas decided to bring me in to see James and help Amelia and Nick set up for the party. I doubted that Mel required help, though. They were probably just there to make sure she didn’t go overboard with the decorations.

  I walked into a coffee house, thinking they could use a caffeine fix. The bell hanging above the door chimed again a moment later. Warm hands covered my eyes, and I spun around, stepping away and bumping into some girl.

  “Guess who.” Chase beamed. “Are you in a hurry? Got time for coffee? I want to know how you’re doing.”

  “Sure, I’ve got time. I was heading to see Thomas, but he’s not really expecting me until just after noon.”

  “Good; find us a table, and I’ll order. What do you want?”

  I chuckled. “Write it down. Seriously,” I added when he cocked an eyebrow. “You won’t remember this.”

  “Try me.”

  “A tall, extra shot, extra-hot, extra-whip, sugar-free vanilla latte.”

  He ended up writing it down, but only after I explained why the order was so complicated. I took a seat by the window, watching the street until Chase joined me five minutes later.

  “Okay, here’s your weird, posh coffee.”

  “Try it,” I pushed the cup his way. “It tastes as good as it sounds.”

  He took a small sip. “It’s alright, but I call your coffee, and I raise you a bottle of gold tequila later on at the party.”

  We chatted about the party, my art and the worldwide tour The Mishaps were preparing for. We were interrupted a couple of times by groups of young girls wanting to take selfies with Chase. I heard the camera click behind my back more than once, while people were snapping pictures of Chase from afar.

  “Doesn’t it bother you?” I asked when another girl came and went.

  “Not at all. Not yet, anyway. This is so new to me and therefore exciting. I mean, we signed the contract with C&G not even three months ago, but suddenly we’re everywhere.”

  “How did you manage to get an album out so fast?”

  “We had over twenty songs ready when Nick and Thomas approached us. We narrowed it down to twelve and re-recorded them in studio quality; the album was ready within a month.”

  I rested my back against the chair and felt my bag vibrating. I had forgotten to take off mute it when I left James’s office. Thomas’s face flashed on the screen. It was twenty passed noon, and notifications at the top of the screen told me it wasn’t the first time he tried to reach me.

  “Hey, I’m sorry, I…”

  “Are you okay?” he cut in, his voice tense.

  A warm tingle travelled down spine. “I’m okay. I’m sorry, I forgot to take my phone off mute. I bumped into Chase at the coffee place, and we lost the track of time…”

  “Chase?” Thomas asked, attempting but failing to conceal his annoyance. “You’re with Chase right now?”

  A cold sweat washed over me. “Yes, but we’re about done here; I’ll be at the office in five minutes.”

  “Okay, we’ll talk when you get here.”

  He cut the call, and I started to gather my things. Chase watched me with two lines on his forehead.

  “Is he pissed off?”

  “No,” I said, although I wasn’t sure. “Of course not, but we’re on a tight schedule with the party staring at three o’clock, so I really need to go.” I pecked his cheek, wrapping a scarf around my neck. “I’ll see you later.”

  I rushed out of the coffee house, my pace as fast as the heeled boots allowed. Thomas waited under the smoking shelter, but before I reached him, Chase’s voice stopped me mid-step.

  “Nadia! Wait up.” He jogged over, out of breath. “You forgot this.” He handed me the gift I received from James.

  “Thank you. I’ll lose my head one day.”

  Warm hand draped across my stomach. Thomas spun me around, planting his lips on mine for a short, hot kiss, and then, as if he didn’t just showcase his possessiveness, he turned to Chase.

  “Amelia’s been looking for you.”

  “Right,” Chase muttered, glancing between us. “I guess she wants to do a sound check. I’ll see you later, Nadia.”

  Thomas stepped in front of me, his eyes roaming over my face, stance tense. “Can you not spend time alone with other guys?”

  My mind drew a blank. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Thomas ceased the opportunity to seal my lips with another lustful kiss.

  “Don’t overthink this,” he said. “I trust you, baby doll, but I don’t trust him enough to be okay with you two being alone.”

  “We’re friends. Please don’t start dictating who I can and can’t be friends with. You’re the one I want. Chase is in love with someone else.”

  He took my hand, leading me toward his car.

  “Try to turn the situation around.” He opened the passenger side door and waited until I buckled up. “Would you be okay if I went out for coffee with, I don’t know… Alex, for example? Or Chrissy?”

  “That’s different,” I said when he took the driver’s seat. “They both want an invitation to your bed.”

  We drove out of the parking lot only to stop at the first set of traffic lights. At that pace, we weren’t going to make next year’s Christmas party.

  “My bed is taken.” He squeezed my things. “I don’t mind you being friends with Chase. I know you need your freedom. I’m trying not to act like a jealous asshole, but you’re the kind of girl most guys imagine naked the moment they look at you, so please… work with me here.”

  After Karen cheated on Dad, I considered myself paranoid. During the first months of my relationship with Adrian I was constantly watching the way he looked at other girls. I never showcased jealousy, keeping it wit
hin, poisoning my thoughts and crushing my self-esteem. Adrian was the same. He was jealous from day one to the point of paranoia, and his worries overrode mine. Knowing he was so protective and possessive gave me peace of mind.

  He wouldn’t act jealous if he didn’t love me, right?

  Too bad he loved me too much.

  “Fine,” I said. “Just try to keep jealousy under control, okay?”

  He cringed, possibly recalling the main reason why Adrian took his rage out on me.

  “Once I see he doesn’t want to get you naked, I won’t mind you meeting him for coffee every now and then.”

  Moments later, we arrived at my apartment. Instead of waiting while I took a quick shower and got dressed, Thomas went home to get ready. I packed a change of clothes and a green Santa’s Helper outfit for the party at Nick’s and Mel’s later in the evening. Thomas came back around two o’clock, with some lovely-smelling take-away in hand.

  “I thought you might…” he fell silent when I bent down to adjust the straps on my heels.

  The long-sleeved, red mini dress I wore was nothing special in my eyes, but the look on Thomas’s face said something else.

  “Did I ever tell you that you’re gorgeous?” He pushed his hand under the dress, his fingers embracing my skin.

  I stood straight, turning to face him. “Not that I remember.”

  He inhaled, caught onto my face, and crashed his lips to mine, backing me against the wall. I loved it when he was so demanding and restless. I loved the way he held my arms locked in his, limiting my ability to move so he could control the situation.

  The thirst in his eyes made me white-hot with lust.

  “I don’t think we’ve got time for that,” I whispered in his ear, biting on it gently.

  “We’ll have to make the time.” He carried me into the living room and sat me on the couch. “What we don’t have time for is much foreplay, baby. And I’m only making you come once.”

  He locked his thumbs over my panties, slid them down my legs and fiddled with the buckle on his jeans.

  “Once is enough.”

  CHAPTER 22

  THOMAS

  Never have I ever

  “Seriously?!” Amelia cried, looking at my Christmas jumper with “Go Jesus! It’s your birthday!” printed across my chest. “What is wrong with you? One evening!” she huffed, the reindeer antlers on her head moving from side to side. “That’s all I ask of you! One evening a year of acting like an adult, but nooo…”

  “Admit it, it’s fun. And you’re only yelling at me because Nick doesn’t want to be a snowman.”

  I helped Nadia out of her coat. Nick emerged from the living room, wearing an equally offensive t-shirt with Christmassy prints, an arrow pointing left and big white writing “Jingle Bell End”.

  “Nice,” I chuckled.

  Mel gripped her sides. “You’re just as bad as each other.” She turned to Nadia. “At least you look nice.”

  “Thank you.” She twirled around showing off the Santa’s Little Helper costume.

  The short green dress accentuated her curves and was the sole reason behind me taking her for the second time that day when we stole back home after the C&G party for a change of outfits. Her glassy eyes were a dead giveaway that she was biting her teeth on my shoulder twenty minutes earlier, shuddering with an intense orgasm. Thankfully, no-one here knew Nadia’s post-sex face.

  “Do you need some help in the kitchen?” Nadia asked Mel.

  “Yes,” Mel hooked her elbow with Nadia’s. “Come on.”

  The house was dressed according to the occasion with green and red tinsel wrapped around the staircase railing and a large Christmas tree lit with white lights in the living room. Our friends crowded the dining room, chatting and waiting for Mel to finish setting the table.

  The aroma coming out of the kitchen were to die for. Mel was a great cook, and until I tried Nadia’s food, she was the only woman who I trusted not to give me a food poisoning.

  Ethan stood in the doorway. I grabbed his shoulders, shaking him from left to right so hard the Santa’s hat fell off his head.

  “What are you wearing?” I pulled on the white beard. “Do we not make fun of you enough already?”

  “Apparently not,” he smirked, then laughed out loud, reading my jumper. “You’re an ass, you know that?”

  “I’ve been called worse, mate.” I patted his back and continued my journey around the room.

  Scorpio stood with Charles and Chase at the back, by the patio door. The twins wore matching jumpers with Rudolph, but Scorpio was my kind of guy sporting a black t-shirt with “Pull my cracker” in white letters and an arrow pointing to his zipper.

  Scorpio glanced over my shoulder to Nadia, his face unreadable. We hadn’t had the chance to talk about this, but seeing that I dumped Jane’s friend the other day, Scorpio surely knew all there was to know.

  “You forgot my number?” he asked. “Why is it that I had to find out that you’re back with your girl from Chrissy?”

  I had to admit, the lack of annoyance in his voice was like a burden off my shoulders. We had been friends for years. I would hate it if he wasn’t happy for me, but Scorpio was the kind of friend who went along with my choices as long as they made me happy.

  “Sorry, I was going to call you with a heads up, but I was a little preoccupied the past few days.”

  He cringed. “I don’t need the details, mate, spare me. I just want to know if everything is good with you two now?”

  If Chase and Charles weren’t there, I would go for something like “couldn’t be better” or “it feels right to have her back”, but I had to up my fucking game if I didn’t want to come across as a pussy.

  Yeah, guys are like that. We act tough around other guys, especially those we think might want to steal our girl.

  “I thought you didn’t want details. We’re good.”

  Scorpio rolled his eyes. “I knew you’d break, mate.”

  Chase left our small gathering to hijack Nadia who emerged from the kitchen, carrying food. He helped her set the plates and followed her back for more. I watched his every move, trying to decide whether he deserved to be trusted.

  “On a scale of one to ten, how pissed off is Jane about Chrissy?”

  “I’d say she’s relieved. I think she’s had enough of hearing what a good kisser you are.”

  I elbowed his ribs. “Jealous, is she? I can teach you a thing or two.”

  “Go on, you stud.” Scorpio brought his face closer to mine, pursing his lips. “I dare you.”

  Charles burst out laughing. “You’re not normal.”

  “Well, thank you,” Scorpio said, bowing.

  Nick made sure everyone had a drink in hand, and once the table was set, he patted the seat on his left, looking at me.

  “Come on, bell-end. This will make one classy picture. I think we could send it out as Christmas Cards next year.”

  “Will that be before or after you two get married?” Mel chuckled, no longer annoyed by our childishness.

  We ate and laughed, pulling real crackers despite Scorpio insisting we pull his instead. Once everyone was finished, Ethan and I helped Nick clear the table. Scorpio filled everyone’s drinks, while Amelia took the cakes out. Nadia scooped two slices of apple pie, turning away from me when I tried to steal a piece.

  “What is it with you and apple pie?”

  She shrugged, her mouth stuffed.

  “Hey! I’ve got an idea,” Jane exclaimed. “Let’s play that Truth or Dare game we played at Nadia’s housewarming party. It was fun!”

  For some reason, Mel glanced at me before answering as if it was my call what game were going to play.

  “I was thinking of Never have I ever for tonight,” she said.

  Thank fuck for that. I nearly knocked Ethan’s teeth out last time we played Truth or Dare.

  “Oh, okay, that might be fun too if we spice things up. I’ll start.” Jane rested her elbows on the table, twirling a l
ock of hair on her index finger. “Never have I ever had sex with two people in one day.”

  “Are we supposed to drink if we have or if we haven’t?” Nadia asked in a hushed voice.

  “If you have.”

  She set her glass back on the table watching me take a sip. I expected a reaction. A frown, a scowl or a comment, but she just stuffed her mouth with more pie. I wondered if she would have something to say if I confessed to having sex with three different girls in one day.

  “Okay,” Scorpio said, rubbing his hands together. “Never have I ever had unprotected sex.”

  Nadia grabbed her glass. My eyes widened. What the hell?

  “Are you serious?”

  The volume in the room dropped. All eyes on us.

  “I think you’re forgetting something,” she muttered, abashed, avoiding eye contact with anyone but me.

  “Am I?” And then it clicked—the bathtub. “Yes. I am. Sorry.” I pecked her forehead then drank some of my vodka.

  Nick stared at me with a nauseated expression. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable knowing this much about your sex life now that you’re dating my sister.”

  Charles laughed from the end of the table. “Try living under the same roof as your sister and hear her sex life.”

  Ethan’s face burned bright, but Sarah was unaffected.

  “At least I have a sex life.”

  As the game went on, the questions got interesting, yet Nadia’s answers were predictable. I knew she hadn’t had a threesome or sent someone a naughty picture. It just wasn’t her.

  “Never have I ever been shy in the bedroom,” Caroline said.

  Mel, Sarah, Ethan and Chase of all people raised their glasses, but Naida remained glued to her seat.

  “Don’t act all courageous now, baby doll. Drink. Drink a lot.”

  She scoffed, but a small smile stretched her lips and she pressed the rim of the wine glass to her lips. It was my turn to make a statement. I chose to check if I could really trust Chase.

  “Never have I ever wanted to have sex with my friend’s girlfriend.”

  Chase looked around the room, his drink untouched, body language confirming the choice.

  Good for you.