Reluctantly In Love (Emerald Cove Romance Book 1)

by Siân James

  “Yes,”

  “Why did you only turn the lamp on and not the main light?”

  “Because I didn't want anyone downstairs to see it and think they could come up here and hassle me.”

  I nodded. This made sense. I collected my thoughts, the silence working on my nerves and making my task more difficult. Finally, I cleared my throat.

  “Thank you again for the flowers you gave me. No one has ever given me such a special and meaningful gift , and I'm touched beyond words.”

  He shifted a little, and I could tell he was pleased despite his demeanour.

  “I'm sorry for what I said earlier today. I appreciate you were trying to tell me something through the flowers, but I was too distracted and too dense to realise it in the moment.” I took a deep breath. “If you choose to go back to Sydney, instead of staying here, I totally understand. Or if you choose to stay but want nothing to do with me, then that's okay too.” I faltered over these words because I was pretty sure I was lying. I'd be okay eventually, but I knew his rejection would hurt worse than anything I'd ever experienced in my life. And he'd probably ruin me for any other man.

  I studied him as he stood there. His profile was cast in shadows, but the line of his shoulders, the tilt of his head. I'd recognise him anywhere.

  Gosh, how could so much happen in just one week?

  “It's been more than a week.” Matt's voice rumbled, and I realised I'd spoken my last thought aloud.

  “Still, so much has changed.” When I didn't elaborate it was his turn to ask a question.

  “Why do you think I would go back to Sydney?”

  I shrugged. “I overheard Andy saying something about you going to Sydney and the big city coaxing you to stay. I was confused, and I'd only just found out about your plans to stay. Then I stuffed things up, and you left before we could resolve anything and—”

  He held up his hand. “Take a breath. Say what you mean.”

  I stopped and did as told, which was a first. “You were right,” I said awkwardly. “I went into this thinking you were returning to Sydney in a few weeks, but—”

  “So this was just a fling for you?”

  “No! I mean, I guess it was to begin with, but now my feelings—” My breath hitched with the first bubble of emotion. I'd been battling to keep it down, but now I could feel it swelling in my chest, tears blocking my throat. “My feelings are so very different. I dreaded you leaving—”

  Matt pushed away from the desk and strode to where I stood, his hands coming up to cup my cheeks as mine fisted in his shirt. I could see the pain written clear on his face. “Why didn't you just ask me?”

  “Why didn't you tell me?” I countered.

  “I thought you knew. Everyone knows everything in this town. And I thought I did tell you when we were talking about what we want out of life.”

  I shook my head even before he finished speaking. “Maybe I should have asked, but equally you should have told me yourself. You can't rely on the idea that I'd know town gossip. That's a little silly.” I wanted to say it was a ridiculous.

  Matt's eyes darted between mine, and I knew he knew I was right. He sighed. “So where does that leave us?”

  I smiled as a tear rolled down my cheek. “Well, as I said, I really loved your flowers.”

  One side of his mouth tilted up in a hint of a rueful grin. “You did?” I nodded as he used his thumb to swipe the tear from my cheek. “And you got my message in them?” His expression turned tentative.

  I nodded again. “I did and I thought it was beautiful. But—”

  His body tensed. “But what?”

  “Well.” I licked my lips, not wanting to stuff this up. “I don't for a second think you didn't mean the message you sent in the flower arrangement, but do you think it's too soon?”

  He relaxed and subsequently so did I. “That's why I chose the flowers.”

  “What?”

  “My head tells me we've barely begun, but in here”—he took my hand with his and laid it on his chest—“it says something completely different. I didn't want to wait until my head caught up to how I was feeling but neither did I want deny it or scare you off.”

  “Hence the flowers.”

  “Hence the flowers,” he repeated. “Saying it without quite saying it.”

  I smiled at his logic. “You're a dork.”

  “A hot dork,” he countered and I grinned.

  “I really am sorry for not asking you what your plans were, and I'm really glad you're staying.”

  Matt took a deep breath, and I felt like it was his first free breath in a while. “Me too. I'm sorry for this silly misunderstanding. It could've all been avoided if I'd just told you weeks ago.”

  I shook my head. “Uh, no. I'm pretty sure if you'd told me you were staying in town back then, I wouldn't have even entertained the idea of hooking up. I had too much on.”

  “Ah yes, your business commitments. We're going to have to see if we can carve out a little time for us when you start consulting again.” His arms slid from my face, down until he wrapped them around my waist, forcing my body against his and my arms around his neck.

  “I've been thinking about hiring a new florist to help run the shop so I can have time off.”

  “Mmm.” Matt dropped his face and ran his nose along the line of my neck. “Sounds good.”

  “And I'm going to schedule regular days dedicated to consultations so I have at least one day off a week for the foreseeable future,” I said breathlessly as his lips and tongue followed his nose. At my words his head lifted, surprise in his eyes.

  “A day off?” I bit my tongue and nodded. He groaned. “I love it when you talk dirty.” The last web of tension in my chest shattered as I laughed at his joke.

  Matt kissed the laugh from my lips, and no words were exchanged again for quite some time.

  Chapter 25

  We christened Matt's desk.

  Then we grabbed some street food, and headed to the shop. Camille, Mum and Jim were just locking up as we checked in. We made our excuses and drove home to my place where we showered together and only got out when the water ran cold.

  We didn't make love again before we fell asleep, simply content to lay in each other's arms, but Matt woke me in the morning with kisses, which meant by the time we got out of bed we'd worked up a good appetite.

  Matt stood behind the kitchen bench chopping some mushrooms. He'd surveyed my fridge and announced he had everything he needed to make scrambled eggs except the bacon. Luckily, he had bacon in his fridge, so he'd run upstairs to grab it while I made me us a tea.

  “So.” I surveyed him over my tea cup, nervous about my next question but dying to know. “When exactly did you decide to stay in Emerald Cove?”

  He grinned at me and threw a piece of mushroom in his mouth. “I think that would be roughly the time I ran into you on the stairs and you didn't kiss me.”

  I grinned behind my cup. “Shut up. Seriously, when did you decide? You're too intelligent to make your decision based on me. Especially knowing how flighty I was.”

  “Was?”

  “I've changed a lot in the last seven days,” I said haughtily, and he laughed. Had it really been just seven days since I'd decided to let him into my life?

  The smile faded from his face as he contemplated my question.

  “I think it was probably something I had in the back of my mind before I was even offered partnership. I was working so hard to get the promotion, and as soon as I had the offer, all I could think was I needed to get to Emerald Cove for a cooling off period.” He swept the mushrooms, spring onions, bacon and tomatoes into the sizzling pan. “Of course, I didn't tell them that. I asked for a leave of absence and some time to think about it. I'd worked so hard the last few years and not taken any holidays. Surprisingly they agreed.”

  “Okay, so it was in the back of your mind, but when did you actually decide you were turning down the role of a lifetime, one you'd been working for all those
years?”

  “It was the day I drove you to get the antique dressing table in Lismore.” He took a sip of his tea and cracked the eggs into a bowl. “The night before, I'd had dinner with my folks, Louise and Tom and we were talking about the new baby, and I was thinking about how I'd like to teach it to surf one day because Tom doesn't. But how would I do that if I lived so far away?

  “I'd had a fantastic morning with Luke and Andy, first out for a surf, then helping them work on the café and shop. The renovations for the property on the esplanade you used to rent space in were approved and work was schedule to start the following week. I had a few other properties I was looking over to buy, and after I dropped you home, I met Jake for a late lunch, and we had a great chin wag.

  “Then there was the tension and attraction I felt with you. There was just so much … promise to life here. So much potential happening everywhere and in Sydney there was only work. The thought of returning and leaving this made me feel physically sick, so I made my decision.”

  He poured the eggs into the pan, adding spinach and grated cheese and moving it round until it was cooked. He divided it between two plates.

  “Balcony?” I suggested, and we made ourselves comfortable in the Adirondack chairs.

  “As for your unasked question—”

  I quirked a brow at his words.

  “Concerning when I first decided I was interested in you,” he supplied, and I blushed because I did want to know but was too embarrassed to ask. “It was the second time I saw you, at the markets.”

  He paused, deep in thought, his folk full of scrambled eggs held in midair. “You were wearing flowers in your hair.”

  I blushed anew. “I always wear flowers in my hair when I sell at the markets.”

  He studied me, his expression soft as his eyes moved over my hair and face. Then he smiled, and my heart pumped a little harder. He'd never smiled at me like that before. As if he saw more than what was on the outside, and he really, really liked it.

  A warm glow radiated from deep inside me, and I turned back to my breakfast in order to contain my emotions.

  “So,” Matt began as I finished the last bite, “when did you decide I was worth the trouble?”

  I stacked my plate on top of Matt's on the coffee table and curled my legs up underneath me and faced him. “I'm still not convinced, so you'd better watch your step,” I joked. Now it was his turn to raise a brow. “Okay, okay. I guess it was building all week. I'd really enjoyed my time with you, how you made me feel, and I couldn't fathom the idea that you would suddenly be gone from my life, leaving a void I didn't know how to fill. I kept telling myself I had more than enough consulting work to be getting on with once you left, but even though I was looking forward to it, it no longer sounded as fulfilling as it had before.”

  To be honest a big part of it was the down time. I couldn't remember the last time I so much real down time where I'd just spent time doing not much except hanging out. I'd spent time with Tash and Camille on a handful of occasions but they were always limited. Despite the hard work getting the florist ready for opening day, this last week had almost felt like a holiday compared to my normal life.

  “The thing that really hammered it home was yesterday afternoon though. After you'd given me the flowers, after I'd worked out the meaning but before I was able to get away to find you. I checked out the shop, and I felt so proud. Customers were everywhere, all the classes—the flower arranging, paint night and terrarium arranging—were booked out with huge wait lists. Stock was flying off the shelves, and it should have been perfect. But I realised even though it was great to share it with everyone who'd helped, I really wanted to share it with you.”

  Matt took my hand in his.

  “I heard a phrase a few times over the last few months, and it struck me for some reason. Not sure why. Originally, I thought it was a nice thought, but I didn't really understand the meaning of it. But yesterday I did.”

  “Don't leave me hanging.” Matt shook my hand gently.

  I smiled. “A joy shared is a joy doubled.”

  He nodded and gazed out the window, which had a clear view of the town, the beach in the distance. “Indeed it is,” he said on an expansive breath.

  I studied him a moment and again wondered how I was going to fit everything I wanted into my life. It occurred to me that I was no longer worrying about fitting a relationship into my schedule, but rather how I was going to fit my work around my relationships. Being with Matt made me realise how much I was missing out on and undervaluing my friendships. Specifically with Tash and Camille. It was time we re-instigated girls’ night each week.

  Matt lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. “Ready to head in for another busy day?”

  I grinned and nodded. We had two days left of the festival, and I intended to make the most of it. Once this weekend was over, things would calm down a little. Matt had two weeks remaining until he had to return to Sydney to work out his notice for a month, but I was already contemplating a weekend down there with him. I was so lucky things had happened the way they had between us, or my stubborn determination to follow my life plan would have caused me to miss this opportunity with him.

  We still hadn't said it yet. Those three words, but we had time.

  Epilogue

  “Hey, Jake.” I propped myself up on a stool at the bar. Jake was behind it, wiping down the counter.

  “Izzie.” He grinned at me. “I hear a certain young man is expected back in Emerald Cove today. Might that be the reason for your offensively happy demeanour?”

  I nodded and practically bounced on my chair. “Yup,” I was too excited to let his playful jab get to me. “He said he'll be back around one-ish, but he wants one of your Aussie burgers so I've come to order some to take away.”

  Jake gave me a knowing look. “Now why on earth would you eat my burgers elsewhere when you could eat them fresh here?”

  My cheeks warmed. I was not going to explain to Jake the plans I had for keeping Matt occupied and naked for the next twenty-four hours in my apartment (or his, I didn't mind).

  To distract him from the ribbing I could feel coming, I shared some news I knew he'd be interested in. “I had a wedding this morning, and you'll never guess who was there.”

  “Do tell.”

  “Claire ****.”

  Jake froze, a series of complex emotions crossing his face before he schooled his features. That was unexpected and interesting.

  “She's in town for her brother's wedding. Did you know?”

  He shrugged. “Yeah, I think she messaged me a few days ago, but I haven't gotten back to her yet.”

  “Well, you should. She's here for another few days. She said to say hi if I saw you.”

  He nodded and scanned the bar distractedly. “Sure, sure, I'll call her later.”

  Well, that was weird. I thought they were friends. They'd been in school together, and I was pretty sure she'd been married to his best friend and her high school sweetheart.

  “Do you need a menu or do you already know what you're ordering?”

  “I know. Two Aussie burgers, one without tomatoes, and a side of hot chips. And I'll have a white wine spritzer while I wait please.” He nodded and placed the order on the till. I paid, noticing he'd given me the friend and family discount, which I thanked him for. He poured a healthy slosh of the house white into a glass then topped it up with soda water and added an umbrella.

  “What's with the tiny umbrella?”

  “Matt is moving home for good. Today is a celebration. What else says celebration better than a tiny umbrella?” He added one to his soda and lime.

  I lifted my glass to toast to his point.

  “To returning heroes,” Jake said.

  “To returning friends,” I countered. A muscle tick under his eye. Was he thinking about Claire again?

  Another customer caught his attention, and he moved their way, leaving me with my wine and my thoughts.

  Ma
tt had left for Sydney a little under a month to work out his notice. In that time, the Little Flower Shop had settled after the initial hoopla of the festival weekend and locals eager to check out the new Emerald building and the businesses in it. The first evening event, a flower arranging class run by Camille was fully booked and due to go ahead next Wednesday, and we'd had brilliant reviews online and in the local papers so far. Things were looking good. I'd also hired a new girl, Jasmine, to help Camille in the front of the shop so Camille could spend more time on administration (which bizarrely she seemed to love), and I could spend more time working on A Woman's Touch.

  This all meant I had time on my hands, especially when Matt left for Sydney, though I did visit him out there once, and he snuck in a weekend stay at my place as well. And we'd spoken on the phone every day. Prior to his leaving, we spent all our free time together. I was tired from long days at the shop, plus I had started consulting again. But Matt was understanding and even encouraging of my ambition, fitting himself around my schedule in a way that made me wonder how I'd gotten so lucky.

  Now it had been two weeks since I'd last seen him. To say I was excited was an understatement. Today, he'd be moving back to Emerald Cove, to his apartment upstairs, and I wouldn't have to say goodbye again.

  Unless, you know, we had to go to work or something.

  I guess, just like the old cliché, I'd been waiting for the other half of my soul for my whole life—without even realizing it.

  Gah, would you listen to me?

  “Here you go.” Jake placed a paper bag on the counter. A delicious aroma reached my nose.

  “That was quick.”

  He shrugged. “Lunch rush hasn't hit yet but the kitchen is prepped for it.”

  “Thanks,” I said brightly and hopped off the stool.

  “Say hi to Matt for me. Tell him to get his ugly mug in here before the end of the weekend.”

  “Will do,” I answered as I moved to the door. “And don't forget to call Claire!” I shot over my shoulder and watched in amusement as his mouth tightened. Something was up there and I wanted to know what it was.