Liar: A Dark College Romance (Hillcrest University Book 6)

by Candace Wondrak

  “Been better,” Declan said, his hands on his lap beneath the table. “Also been worse.” Whatever sadness he would’ve held because of his father’s death was nullified due to the fact his father had killed Sabrina. A beat passed between us before he asked, “How are you?”

  I knew Declan didn’t really care how I was, but I answered anyway, “Same.”

  He leaned back in his seat, examining me studiously, as if he thought this was all some trick. I couldn’t blame him for being suspicious; I’d done so much to him in the last year, so his trust was not something that would just appear overnight.

  Or, you know, during one meeting.

  “I assume you wanted to meet to talk about Ash,” Declan hedged, quick to get to the point.

  Nodding once, I said, “Yes, and you. I need to…” Oh, fuck. This was extremely awkward, wasn’t it? Me, Sawyer Salvatore, apologizing, saying I was wrong. I honestly never thought I’d see a day like this. “I need to tell you that I was wrong.”

  Declan blinked. “Obviously.”

  I let out a sigh. “I mean, I know I was wrong. I knew it before I left. I…I jumped to conclusions without seeing the evidence, and I blamed you for something you didn’t do.”

  “I loved Sabrina, and I was your friend. You should’ve known I never would’ve hurt her,” Declan stated. His brows came together, and he looked away, staring out of the window beside us. The entire north side of the union was a wall of windows, allowing an abundance of natural light to come in. “You made my life a living hell—and that was when I needed my friends the most.”

  Running a hand through my hair, I couldn’t argue with a single word he said. “I know. I fucked up, Declan.”

  “And now you’re here, wanting to talk to me, to apologize—but only because of Ash.” Declan leveled his dark stare with mine. He was worlds more confident than he was six months ago, and I knew his transformation was mainly due to Ash. “Be honest: would you be here apologizing if it weren’t for her?”

  His question stunned me, mostly because I hadn’t anticipated him asking a question like that. I mean, what the fuck was I supposed to say? I wanted Ash, I’d do anything for Ash. Ash, Ash, Ash. I sounded like Travis, obsessed and mindless when it came to her.

  The answer to his question…was no.

  No, I wouldn’t be here if Ash wasn’t in the picture. Hell, I’d probably be lost, either drunk or high in a puddle of my own piss if she wasn’t around. Was this for Ash? Yes, it was. One hundred fucking percent.

  “No,” I answered honestly, watching as Declan gave me a slight frown. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Ash, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m here, or what I need to say.”

  Declan didn’t get up, didn’t try to walk away; he stared at me, keeping to his silence.

  “I’m sorry, man, for everything. I know it doesn’t mean shit now, and I know words can’t undo everything I did, everything I said—” I paused before adding, “Everything I got other people to do…”

  “You’ve done a lot,” Declan muttered.

  “Yeah, I have, which is why I know that this—” I gestured between us. “—isn’t easy, for either of us. You have every right to hate me for the shit I put you through.” Shrugging, I added, “If it makes you feel any better, I hate myself too, most days. That’s a Salvatore secret you won’t hear anywhere else.” Sarcasm didn’t exactly fit in the current conversation, but I had to say that last part anyways.

  My family…sucked ass even before Sabrina died.

  Being a Salvatore was not all it was cracked up to be, trust me.

  “Self-hatred has always been your thing,” Declan muttered, leaning forward onto the table. His fingers toyed with the sleeves of his jacket. “Mine too, I guess.”

  I knew there was a lot I didn’t know about Declan, a lot that had happened last semester I was too lost in my own world to see. He and I would never be best buddies again, but…maybe we could move forward. Take one step at a time, and all that.

  “Would you be here if it wasn’t for Ash?” I turned the question back around on him, watching as he squirmed a bit. He might put up a front, might be more confident now, but he was still Declan. Straight up confrontation wasn’t his thing.

  Eventually, he sighed and admitted, “No.”

  We were both man enough to admit we were here only for Ash.

  “It’s not wrong to want to be better for someone else,” I spoke, my green eyes falling to the empty space between us. I’d lived in my hatred for Declan for so long, I could feel my heart pounding away in my chest, my body not wanting to be here, not wanting to play nice. “If there’s one person I want to be better for, it’s Ash.”

  “It’s not that I don’t believe you when you say you want to be better,” Declan spoke carefully. “It’s more like—”

  “You don’t trust me.” I knew it before I said it. Declan might believe that I wanted to be better, but would I actually be better? Those were two very different things, after all. I was…I was a slave to my broken soul for so long, I didn’t know what to say at this point.

  Declan nodded once. “And if I don’t trust you, then Ash—”

  “I get it.” Oh, I got it all right. I understood more than I wanted to, and inside I fumed. If he didn’t trust me, Ash wouldn’t trust me…and if Ash didn’t trust me, what the fuck was the point of all of this?

  He must’ve seen something in my face, or maybe he just felt bad, as Declan quickly said, “I’m not saying we can’t get there, but I can’t just accept your apology and move on. If you really want to…to be good with me, with Ash and us, then you need to work for it.”

  Work for it.

  The words sounded ridiculous, because I’d never worked for anything in my entire life, but he was right. I’d have to work for Ash, work to deserve her, work to be better.

  I would do it.

  “What do you think I should do?” I absolutely hated asking Declan for advice, but I’d never been in this predicament before. I’d never had to play nice and be a good man. There would definitely be a learning curve, but I’d manage. I had to.

  “Have you talked to Ash since you cornered her at the bookstore?”

  A pang of annoyance rose within me as I indignantly said, “I didn’t corner her.”

  The look on Declan’s face told me that’s exactly what he thought I did, and it took every ounce of self-restraint in me to keep quiet as he said, “I think you need to talk to her. I’m not saying throw yourself at her, but try being friends first. Maybe you’ll realize you can’t handle it.”

  I had no idea if Declan wished I couldn’t handle it, or if genuine concern sat behind his words. “I can handle it.”

  “I guess we’ll see. Look, I’m okay with you talking to her, but if I hear you made a move—”

  “I won’t,” I hissed out. “Friends, first.”

  Being friends with Ash would be insanely difficult, considering how badly I wanted her, but I’d make do.

  “My brother is going to be the one you need to work the hardest for,” Declan spoke, giving me advice I didn’t ask for, telling me shit I already knew. “And you know Ash would only be okay with you joining if she got our approval first.”

  Oh, I hated the fact I had to get their approval, but it was a necessary evil in this case. On my quest to get Ash, to finally have her, hold her, tell her everything I felt in the deepest recesses of my heart, I’d have to face my old friends and the suspicious older brother. I never thought this would be easy, but Travis had given me a false hope.

  Things were going to be tough for a while longer. Declan would only fully be accepting of my presence if he trusted that I wouldn’t hurt her. And Will—God fucking knew if that one would ever like me enough.

  As Declan got up and walked away, I knew, without a single doubt in my mind, I was fucked.

  And not in the good way.

  Hadn’t gotten fucked in the good way in a long time, and it was hard to abstain, but it would be worth
it. The only girl whose legs I wanted wrapped around me, the only girl whose lips I wanted around my cock, and the only girl whose moans of pleasure I wanted to hear was Ash’s.

  I remained seated for a while, staring holes into the table near me before jerking to stand. Well, that had gone…I didn’t even know. Better or worse than I expected? Who fucking knew. Declan hadn’t freaked out at me, which made him a better man than I was. If I were him, I’d want to tear me a new one.

  Not that I was going to complain. I wasn’t. Travis, Declan, Will, and Ash had been through a lot together. They’d bonded while I pushed everyone away. Of course, it wasn’t going to be easy to worm my way into their group.

  I grabbed my bag and left the union, heading to my next class. I’d be over thirty minutes early, but who cared? It wasn’t like I had anything else to do right now besides think. What did friends do? Would Ash even want to be friends? When it came to her, I became a sniveling, hesitant wimp, and I hated it.

  But it was better than the old me.

  You know, the funniest thing happened as I walked to class. Not sure if I should say happened or what, but…maybe it was because of what happened last semester, because of everything that happened with her ex.

  Anyway.

  An uneasy feeling rose in my gut, and something nagged at me. I threw a look over my shoulder, feeling as if I wasn’t alone. Ha-ha, super funny, right? Well, I didn’t fucking mean it like that.

  I felt like I was being watched.

  Chapter Eight – Ash

  How’s the drama with your boyfriends? read Kelsey’s text to me one Saturday morning. Declan was in the shower, and I was still in bed. My bed, for once, not his. Usually, on the nights we spent in the dorm room, we either slept in one bed or another. Very rarely was I ever alone in any bed anymore.

  Shut. Up. I replied, grinning to myself. My phone’s brightness was all the way down, and I struggled to get up and start the day. Today Will had to take a trip to the Briggs house in Midpark. Will had to pay the bills and all that, since he was the master of the mansion now. Declan owned half of it, but he seemed content to let Will take the lead since he was older.

  It was nice to be on speaking terms with Kelsey again. I hadn’t exactly told her everything—kept Ray to myself, along with the murder investigation he had dragged me into—but I did tell her all the drama with Sawyer and the others.

  Every once in a while the police contacted me, asking if I’d heard anything from Ray or seen him, and every time I heard from them, I told them no. The last thing I wanted to do was call Markus back here; I didn’t want Travis to owe his family even more than he already did.

  He’d told me his family already had plans for him for summer vacation, which frankly was a bummer. I’d been looking forward to spending my summer vacation with my boys, somewhere nice and warm, maybe. I didn’t like accepting charity if it wasn’t earned, but I wouldn’t be totally against a trip to the beach. Share a beach house or something. Kick my feet in the sand with the blue sky above me…maybe even get a tan.

  Yeah, I was that desperate for some relaxation, I daydreamed about a tan.

  Declan and I had plans with Will later today, but Travis would be on his way over. Will had been…acting a bit off lately. I knew he’d been through a lot, we all had, but I refused to let him wallow in his hatred for Sawyer. I wouldn’t let him become like Declan was last year, and I sure wouldn’t let him slip and drown in his anger.

  No, I would keep my men afloat, and they, in turn, would keep me sane. An even exchange.

  I was up and dressed by the time Declan got out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but jeans as he ran a towel over his hair, his muscles tensing. His abdomen had the faintest outline of abs, but he was nowhere near as defined as a certain someone else was.

  Fuck.

  No, I wasn’t supposed to think about Sawyer like that, and I sure as shit wasn’t supposed to compare him to any of my guys.

  I texted Kelsey a few more times, finding it odd that she was up so early on a Saturday, as I brushed my teeth and did a bit of makeup. Maybe it was that Levi she’d been seeing. From what it sounded like, they were hot and cold—and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Could I ever be in a relationship that was like that? I didn’t know. I wasn’t the same as Kelsey. I needed steadiness.

  I needed the opposite of Ray, actually. I needed calm and comfort, loving words with the occasional possessive hand. I needed daydreams, not nightmares and panic attacks.

  Speaking of which, I hadn’t had one of those in a long time. It felt good to finally step out of Ray’s shadow, to breathe air I knew he wouldn’t touch.

  My phone buzzed again, and I bent over the sink to spit out the toothpaste in my mouth, glancing at its screen. I assumed it was Kelsey, but I was wrong. So, so wrong. Another name hovered at the top of the glass, a name that shouldn’t have caused my heart to skip a beat.

  Sawyer.

  What the hell was he doing, texting me?

  I put my toothbrush down, reaching for my phone and swiping it open, quickly reading his message—three times, actually—before the words sank in: Hey. Got any plans next Saturday?

  Plans for next Saturday? As in a date? My mind immediately wandered there, but it shouldn’t have, because in another moment, another text popped up.

  I want to cook you dinner. All of you.

  Blinking, I stared at my phone in shock. All of us, meaning…

  And yes, Ash, that means your boyfriends, too.

  A grin spread on my face. For whatever reason, knowing Sawyer typed out the word boyfriends made me want to laugh. I bet he hated typing it, too. It gave me a sort of smug satisfaction, like, for once, I had a head over Sawyer. It was a feeling I could get high on, if I wasn’t careful.

  Grabbing my phone, I left the bathroom. Declan was in the process of slipping on a shirt, and I practically pounced on him. “Guess what,” I said, angling my head up towards him, resting my chin on his chest.

  God, Declan really was cute. Almost cute enough to make me forget about his cutting.

  That was still something we had to discuss, but right now I just wanted things to go smoothly.

  “What?” Declan asked, dimples on his cheeks.

  “Sawyer wants to make us dinner,” I told him, pausing before adding for emphasis, “all of us.”

  Declan’s smile faded somewhat, but his arms wrapped around me all the same. “Why would he want to make dinner for all of us?”

  “I don’t know, but I think it’s going to be fun.”

  “Why would it be fun?”

  “Oh, come on. Rubbing our relationship in Sawyer’s face?” I shrugged, releasing my hold on him. “Kind of mean, but he also kind of deserves it. If he’s really trying, he has to, you know, actually keep at it and not give up in the face of me and my three boyfriends.” Still so weird saying sentences like that aloud.

  Me and my three boyfriends. If you would’ve come to me a year ago and told me I was going to be involved romantically—and sexually—with multiple guys at once, I probably would’ve taken a page out of Kelsey’s book and punched you in the face. And yet, here I was, with just that.

  Declan weighed it in his mind. “I guess it would be alright, provided Will’s okay with going.”

  Will. Now was not the time to think about the more mature older brother who would do anything to protect Declan, including forever holding a grudge against Sawyer. We’d be with him later today.

  “We’ll ask him tonight,” I said, feeling…almost excited about it. Was it weird to be excited to, kind of, have a date with Sawyer? As much of a date as it could be with my three boyfriends with me, that was. He was going to cook us dinner. I never had him pegged for a chef.

  I lost myself in my thoughts, wondering if I should look good for the dinner date or not. Would that be trying too hard? This was only the first step of many, so it wasn’t like I’d be dropping my clothes and banging him on the kitchen table, but if he was honestly going to try, I should
try, too. It was only fair, wasn’t it?

  My initial thought was to text Kelsey and let her know of this update, but then again, after everything, maybe I’d keep it to myself a bit longer. I would not think about what happened during that Halloween party. I wouldn’t. I would mentally block those memories off. That whole night, really. Everything to do with Ray, too.

  I had a lot of memories I’d be better off forgetting, huh?

  Travis arrived an hour later, bringing…a backpack? As soon as that sexy, blue-eyed boy walked into our room and set that bag down, my mind was alight with possibilities. What was in there? This wasn’t a study session, was it? We were just hanging out—unless he’d brought some of his toys from that drawer, which I wouldn’t say no to using.

  Would Declan get into toys?

  Of course, that was just me probably getting way ahead of myself, but it was Travis we were talking about, so you never knew. One day he might chain you to his bed, the next he might stick you with a ten-inch dildo. You never knew.

  Okay, he’d never done that, but there was still time.

  Declan, being the boring one, actually did have to work on school stuff. He sat at his desk while Travis and I cuddled on my bed. I did whip out Mario Kart, and beat his ass quite a few times. It was a good ego booster, but my winning streak was only because I’d chosen my favorite character, Bowser. Maybe it was just me, but I swore that evil turtle was the fastest.

  It was after one particularly one-sided match when I paused the game and turned my head, staring into Travis’s blue eyes. Sometimes their color was warm, other times it was icy and calculating. He was a double-edged sword, dangerous and deceiving, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson after Ray, but apparently not. Travis came from a family of, what I chose to assume, killers. That was bound to make things complicated for us, but when did complications ever make us stop and rethink our choices?

  “Sawyer texted me this morning,” I told him, watching as his eyes studied me. His expression was unreadable, as it usually was. Travis hardly ever smiled, scarcely showed any emotion. It was a miracle that I knew he loved me.