As I watched Sawyer go, as Ash settled beside me, fuming, my mind flashed back. Ray, coming in here, trying to turn Ash to his side, to get her to shoot me, to test her loyalty, her love. Making me restrain myself.
I didn’t like being so helpless, and that…that had been one of the most helpless moments of my life. Well, that and when I—
Travis walked in with Sawyer, Sawyer saying, “I mean, how many times have you seen her naked? I think it’s only fair…” He stopped when they emerged into the living room, and he gave Ash a smile. “I was just catching Trav up. He thinks you should kill me while naked, too.”
“I somehow doubt he agreed to that,” Ash spoke dryly, giving them both a look before getting up and walking to Travis. She flipped Sawyer off and then did what she did next to make him jealous, I think: she wrapped an arm around Travis’s neck, pulled his lips down to hers, and gave him the hottest, hardest kiss I’d ever seen.
And then, of course, my mind went back to what we did that day in our dorm room, and my whole body heated up. I had to look away, lest I start to grow a hard-on I didn’t want either of them to see.
“I’m sorry, were you saying something?” Ash asked once she pulled off of Travis, giving Sawyer a grin. The smugness had effectively vanished from Sawyer and went into her, because the look she gave him told him she knew how easily she towered over him.
“Not cool,” Sawyer muttered unhappily, slowly moving around to the couch again, this time sprawling out on every single cushion. If someone wanted on it, they’d have to either sit on him or move him aside.
“Pouting now?” Ash asked with a mock frown as Travis disappeared into the kitchen to get something to drink. He’d already taken off his jacket.
“I can’t help it. I’m hungry.”
“I believe the correct term is hangry,” Ash said, sitting beside me. “Though usually that term refers to a woman, not a…well, not a you.”
I got out my phone, saying, “I’ll text Will and see if he’s on his way. I’m sure if you order pizza, he’ll be here when it gets here.” I wasn’t sure about that, but if it would shut Sawyer up, I was all for it.
“All right,” Sawyer said, staring at the ceiling as he proceeded to do so, “but if Will is grouchy, I’m blaming you.”
“Will is always grouchy when he’s with you,” Travis muttered, swatting aside Sawyer’s legs as he sat himself down on the couch.
It was…a strangely relaxed environment. Sawyer and Travis were getting along, Ash was beside me, making snide remarks to both of them, and I was texting Will. It actually felt like this…this could be it. This could be us. This could be how we hung out every Friday for the next few years.
Truthfully, it wasn’t a bad thing. I didn’t feel awful about it. In fact, I was so wound up in everyone around me that I couldn’t even stop to think about what I’d been mulling over before.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced down, seeing Will’s response: Not feeling good. I’m going home to sleep.
Want me to come over after? Need me to pick anything up for you? I sent back, instantly worried. It felt like Will had been pulling away lately, if I was honest, and I didn’t know if it was because of what happened with Dad or if it was because of Ash and Sawyer.
When Will said No, I texted him again and told him about how Sawyer wanted to ask Ash out. He came back with: I’ve been waiting for him to make a move.
That was…a strange response, wasn’t it? I mean, I was certain we were all waiting for Sawyer to make his move, but that just didn’t come across right. My eyebrows furrowed, and I said, If you don’t want him to, he won’t. I can tell him you’re not okay with it. I didn’t mind playing the bad guy if I had to; it wasn’t me, but I would do it for my brother.
Will and Ash…they were the two people on this earth I would do anything for, no joke.
It wasn’t long before my phone buzzed again, and I glanced down to see his response. No. It’s fine. Those three words made me feel like it wasn’t fine, but I let him be. He did say he wasn’t feeling well, so maybe he wasn’t fully himself.
Ash could go home with Travis tonight; after this little hangout, I’d take a visit to my brother.
“Earth to Declan,” Ash’s voice rang through my head, snapping me out of my thoughts. I tore my gaze away from my phone, turning to view Ash, and behind her, Travis and Sawyer. “You in there? Is Will coming?”
“Oh, he’s not feeling well. I actually think I’m going to head out a little early tonight to visit him,” I said.
“Is he sick?” Ash asked. “He seemed fine yesterday.”
“Let him go,” Travis spoke, reaching into his pocket and fingering his smokes. “It just means I get you to myself tonight.”
Sawyer had long gotten off the phone, having ordered the pizza while I was texting Will back and forth. He lifted a hand, suggesting, “Uh, I’m down for some sharing—” The look Ash gave him right then could kill, and he was smart enough not to say whatever else he was about to.
Travis got up, moving without a word to the back patio. He exited the house through the glass French doors and immediately lit one up. He didn’t bother to put on his coat or anything, too cool to feel the cold. It was as I returned my attention to Sawyer and Ash that Sawyer was busy telling her something vastly inappropriate.
“You know, Trav and I have shared before. It’s fun, but I’m betting with all the dick around you, you already know how fun it can be,” Sawyer spoke with a grin.
“I really am debating on strangling you right now,” Ash muttered.
I chuckled, but my mind was elsewhere. On Will. The next few hours passed slowly, and though I tried to stay in the moment with them, I failed. Something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t say what that was.
Night fell, most of the pizza was eaten, and Ash sat nestled between Sawyer and Travis, the latter of whom smelled like smoke since he’d just taken his third trip outside. He seemed to be smoking an awful lot tonight, but who was I to judge?
Working on packing up my stuff, I said, “Need me to help clean up before I go?” There wasn’t much, just the pizza boxes and a few plates, but I figured I’d offer.
Ash shook her head as she got to her feet, moving around the messy coffee table to walk me out. “Let me know how he’s doing,” she said, “or if I need to come over with some chicken soup.”
“I’ll give you some chicken soup,” Sawyer chimed in from the couch, trying and failing at a sexual innuendo, something he’d been doing all night.
She tossed him a glare. “That one doesn’t even make sense,” she said, letting out a sigh as we left the living room and headed to the front door. Her irritation toward Sawyer fell off her face the moment we were alone, and before I left she hugged me to her, laying a soft kiss on my lips. “Text me.”
“I will,” I assured her, placing another kiss onto her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
And if there was one thing true in this world, it was my love for Ash. She got me through the days when I thought I had nothing to live for. She reminded me there were other kinds of beauty in this world. Just because Sabrina had died…just because she’d been murdered by my own father didn’t mean the world was a black, barren place. Just because my father had betrayed me in more ways than one didn’t mean everyone would.
I’d come back together with my old friends for Ash, but right now I was worried about Will.
I didn’t even go back to the dorm. I took my bag and zipped up my coat, instead going to his apartment complex. Straight there, no other stops. No other distractions. I didn’t text him I was on my way, never told him I planned on checking in with him.
Will tried to act like everything was okay, but I knew he sometimes struggled to hold things together. He’d always hated Dad, it was true—and now, after his death, I hated him too—but killing him had to weigh heavily on him. Will had refused to talk about it after that night, even at the funeral.
My brother was good at avoid
ing things. I couldn’t remember when Mom died too well, but I knew Will didn’t like speaking of it. He didn’t like bringing it up, for good reason of course, considering how she died; he’d rather just push it to the back of his mind and try to forget about it.
That would not work here. Not anymore. Will and I would sit and talk. No more secrets, no more hiding. We would face the fact that our family had crumbled, that those we thought would love and protect us forever had betrayed us. We would be together, and I would do my best to be the strong one, to comfort my older brother where he normally comforted me.
I was silent as I entered his building, heading to the elevator and taking it up. My feet drew me to his door, and I knocked. It wasn’t too late, but if he really was sick, he might be asleep. Deciding I didn’t want to wait, I reached for my keyring. On it, I had the key to my dorm room, along with a spare for Will’s place. He had one spare, and he gave it to me.
Using the key to get in, I was greeted with an empty apartment. The lights were off, which I immediately thought was odd. I went to flick the lights in the kitchen on, illuminating the attached living space and the hall.
“Will?” I asked, my voice echoing in the quiet. Down the hall, I found no one else. The bathroom’s light was out, and his room empty. No one else was here.
Will…wasn’t home, which meant, I realized, he’d lied to me.
As I stood there in the darkness, wondering just where my brother was, I couldn’t help but let my mind wander. Had he lied to me about other things? What if he was keeping more secrets from me? If Will wasn’t here, where would he be?
I didn’t stick around to find out. There would be no brotherly discussion tonight. I simply left his apartment, locked up, and returned to the dorm, alone and pensive.
Deep down, my gut knew.
This wasn’t a good sign.
Chapter Fifteen – Ash
My statistics grade was doing a bit better than it was at the beginning of the semester, but I was pretty sure that mostly had to do with the fact that Corey wasn’t our teacher anymore. We had an older professor, one who decided to take Corey’s classes out of the kindness of his heart—or the bigger paycheck Hillcrest was surely offering him. An older man, probably in his late sixties, he didn’t seem to care too much about the nitty-gritty details, and on our quizzes he let us use cheat sheets, which pretty much made them open-book quizzes. I had no idea if our exams would be like this, but I wasn’t going to complain.
Corey. I still couldn’t believe I was the last one to see him alive, other than the killer. Unless it was some random attack, or maybe Corey was into some illegal shit? Who could say. Someone could look like a nerd but secretly have a stash of drugs in their car or something…though if that was the case, the police probably would’ve found some evidence of that. As it stood now, Corey had died, cut down like an animal, for a reason no one knew.
I couldn’t let my mind think of the picture Officer Melendez had shown me. If I lingered on the blood, on how his eyes were still open…I might actually have another panic attack, and I’d had enough of those things to last me a lifetime already.
No. I couldn’t think about Corey, or what happened to him. I couldn’t think about how his killer was still out there, maybe planning to kill again.
Were any of us safe here? Sure, Hillcrest had upped security on campus, adding extra patrols at all hours of the day, but still. These rich people probably thought nothing bad like that would ever happen on their campus, let alone right after the dean was killed after attacking his son and being suspected of having an illegal relationship with a minor.
Hillcrest’s reputation was on a steady decline this year, it seemed.
Once class was over, I packed up and pulled my hoodie over my head. I didn’t wear a beanie today, my blonde and pink hair flying free. I also used my skateboard, for the first time in what felt like forever. Today’s outside temperatures were still a bit cold, but I missed being able to skate along, weaving between the crowds, a quick dart among snails.
At least, I was a dart until I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I steered my skateboarding self to the side of the sidewalk, kicking up the back as I hopped off and checked my phone. I think, on this entire campus, I was the only skateboarder. There really weren’t many skaters around here.
Or emos. Or goths. Or anyone with a personality that didn’t scream mommy and daddy’s money.
I’d gotten a text message from Sawyer, and I was quick to read it. He…asked if he could take me somewhere this weekend, without my other guys present.
A date.
Sawyer Salvatore actually used the word date. What the hell? I mean, it wouldn’t be the first date Sawyer had taken me on—that time at the zoo was…not among my worst memories of him. Oh, I’d seen that one at his worst, but I hadn’t quite yet seen him at his best. Maybe this was a chance for him to show me just how much of a new leaf he’d turned.
Or maybe it was a ploy to get in my pants anyway, away from my boyfriends. Couldn’t be sure when it came to Sawyer.
I texted him back a sarcastic response. Where to this time? Another trip to the zoo? Might be a little cold for a handjob outside. Wait. Was that too much? Shit. I shouldn’t have said that. I should’ve—
My thoughts stopped when my phone immediately buzzed with his reply: Somewhere dark. Somewhere loud. A place that’s perfect for a handjob…or other things. And then the bastard sent the water emoji and the eggplant emoji.
The prick.
God, I hated how much I didn’t hate him.
He sent another message, Before you go letting your mind think of all of the things I meant…a movie. I meant a movie. Maybe dinner, if you look good enough to show off.
An incredulous chuckle escaped me, and I wanted to roll my eyes at his audacity. How could he text me something like that, probably seriously too? How could he wake up this morning and think bugging the shit out of Ash was a good idea?
I texted him back: I hate you.
To which he responded, No you don’t.
No, I didn’t. Hence the issue with him. All this time, I really should hate him. I should be mad at him, for everything he’d done. And yet, look at my current boyfriends. Not a single one of them was perfect. Declan maybe tried to hurt himself for attention, hiding his anger behind dimples and smiles. Will had killed his own father. Travis had let Sabrina die, tried to chain me up, and pitted us all against Sawyer. And me? Even though I said we would be good this semester, even though I said there would be no lies between us, I kept secrets.
Declan could never find out that Travis hadn’t saved Sabrina. It wasn’t something Declan would ever get over. Things would explode, and there’d be no coming back from it.
It made me a shitty girlfriend to keep a secret like that, but sometimes there were things in life you were better off not knowing. I’d shouldered so much so far in my life…what was one more thing? Keeping the truth from him would help him keep his sanity.
Prove me wrong, I told him, sliding the phone into my pocket as I set down my skateboard and picked up speed again. A challenge to Sawyer and everything he was, and I knew he’d take it. Even if I declined his date invitation, he wouldn’t stop. He’d keep going, keep trying—and I wanted him to. I wanted Sawyer to never give up when it came to me.
By the time I got back to the dorm, I grinned to myself. I carried my skateboard up the steps, hugging it under my elbow as I reached for my phone. Five unread messages from him. The needy dweeb.
I really did hate to love this one.
I stopped before my door, standing alone in the hall, and I finally messaged him back, Fine. I’ll go with you. But 1) dinner first and 2) I choose the movie. Oh, and obviously I have to check in with my boyfriends first. Sent.
Check in with my boyfriends first, before going out on another date with someone else. Never thought that was something I’d have to worry about.
My phone buzzed as I walked in, and I steadily ignored it when I saw Declan sitting
at his desk, his back a bit hunched over as he furiously typed away at his keyboard. Working on some school paper.
The door barely shut behind me before I blurted out, “Sawyer just asked me out.”
That got Declan to slowly close his laptop and turn to face me, though he didn’t get up off his chair. “He did? Did you see him?” Curious, but not overly so. And definitely not shocked. Wait…did he know?
I stared at him, my brows furrowing. “No, the idiot texted me. Hold up. Why aren’t you more shocked?”
“Well, probably because I’ve been waiting for him to do it since the day he came back,” he told me, giving me a half-hearted shrug. “And he kind of asked my permission the last time we hung out.”
I nearly dropped my skateboard. “What? When?”
“When you were in the bathroom.”
“I knew you guys were talking about something.” I shrugged off my hoodie and tossed down my bag, rolling my skateboard under the bed.
Declan watched me all the while, his brown hair a tad long, his amber eyes warm and willful. “Does it really shock you that we’d talk about you? You are our common interest now, Ash. It’s all about you.”
“It’s not all about me,” I muttered.
“It is.”
I let out an annoyed sound, crawling on top of my bed. “Fine. Now to talk to Travis and Will—”
“Travis knows,” Declan advised. “And Will…he’ll tell you to do what you want.”
There went Declan making predictions again…although it might’ve been the first time I’d heard him make any such things. Had they all talked about it already? Jeez, felt a little behind on the times. What the hell.
But I realized as I spoke with both Travis and Will that Declan was right. Travis was absolutely fine with it—as fine as he could be letting another guy date me, that was—and Will had an almost broody response with something along the lines of if it’ll make you happy, do it.
If it’ll make me happy. Kind of felt like it was a trap, like my guys were waiting for me to screw up, but I couldn’t help it. It was Sawyer. There’d always been a push and pull between us, and now…now we might actually be on the same page as each other. We both might be going in the same direction: towards each other.
Liar: A Dark College Romance (Hillcrest University Book 6) Page 13
