Redamancy (Monachopsis Book 2)

by Lyra Winters

  Redamancy

  Lyra Winters

  Copyright © 2020 Lyra Winters

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Editor and Proofreader: Jessica at Diamond Editing and Proofreading Services

  Alpha Reader: Kelly

  Beta Readers: Hayley, Katelynn

  Visit my website at lyrawinters.com

  Printed in the United States of America

  First Printing: December 5, 2020

  Dedicated to my sweet daughters. Being stuck in the house with you two during the quarantine has been a blessing.

  Redamancy (n.)

  “The act of loving in return. Redamancy is distinguished from most of the other words about love in that it is one of the few that specifies reciprocity.”

  Prologue

  Xavier

  With each stride away from the packhouse, from my position as Beta, and from my friends and family, my mind became clear, more resolute, as if the growing physical distance between us had become an emotional chasm.

  I’d wondered if I had a soul left or if it died with Olivia. It’d been two years since my soulmate was murdered in front of me, and no amount of coping could heal my heart.

  My childhood friend, Sophia, called weekly to check in on me after leaving the pack to be with her mate, but it didn’t fucking help. My current Alpha, about to be former once I went rogue, Riley, tried her best to accommodate me and keep me busy, but she didn’t understand. Our pack coroner, Caroline, had lost her mate as well. She’d become a great friend, someone who understood the soul-ripping pain of losing one’s soulmate—but even that wasn’t enough.

  I wanted revenge on fucking Lockhart. The bastard had his sister killed, my mate, killed for the hell of it. He deserved to rot in hell, and I’d be the smug bastard to send him there.

  As I stepped over Maxwell Pack’s boundary, a sharp memory penetrated my mind as the bond that tied me to the pack snapped, fueling my need for revenge.

  “I love you, Xavier. Please remember that! This isn’t your fault. It’s nobody’s fault.” Olivia’s swollen green eyes locked with mine as she sobbed.

  Determination rippled through me. “I love you, Liv. I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you.” I shifted into my wolf, launching myself toward the warrior from Lockhart Pack.

  I was mere centimeters away when the sonofabitch slid the silver knife across her throat. Blood poured from the gaping wound. Her eyes widened as she clutched her throat and gurgled on her blood. She was gone before her body hit the ground.

  My wolf caught the murderer’s neck in my powerful jaws, and I tore it open, decapitating him with one bite. My claws dug deep into his chest, splattering his blood in my fur as I shredded him to pieces. I bit chunks of flesh off his face and spit them out, the thick metallic liquid coating my mouth.

  “Xavier, he’s dead,” someone told me, but it didn’t register as I continued mutilating the warrior’s body.

  My primal instincts had taken over, and the thirst for revenge began.

  I gripped my head tight, shaking away the memory. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect you, Liv.”

  I shifted; my bones popped and scraped against each other as they manipulated into the skeleton of a wolf, and thick hair sprouted through my skin. My canines shredded my gums, and my snout extended.

  I shook out my brown fur and stretched my wolf body. Shifting used to hurt like a motherfucker, but not anymore.

  Hell, some days, I’d shift for the hell of it—just to feel something—but I’d become numb to the pain.

  I took off at a sprint, darting through the thick, overgrown forest that reeked of muck and an overwhelming, nauseating scent of peonies.

  I was a rogue now, and not belonging to a pack drew a massive target on my back. But it didn’t fucking matter.

  I only cared about one thing, and that was killing Alpha Lockhart—the bastard that put an order out to destroy my mate, his flesh and blood.

  ONE

  Harlow

  Isolation wasn’t so bad. I’d thrived on my own for seven years, ever since Hollows Coven banished me. I didn’t miss interacting with humans, witches, or any other supernatural beings. They couldn’t be trusted, so why even bother? I had the forest animals, spirits, and elements that lived in harmony around me.

  Deep down, I knew I belonged in the core of the forest, immersed in its ancient heart. I’d put down roots where I felt the magic buzzing the loudest, embedded in the thick of the woods.

  Trees surrounded the cottage I’d built, and I could feel the protection of the tree spirits within the walls. I’d done a binding and a protection spell to make it untraceable to anyone who’d approached it, and that’s how I preferred it.

  There was little to no chance someone would stumble upon this area. It was too remote, untraveled. Besides, nobody had managed to find this place in all the time I’d lived here—but it didn’t hurt to be careful.

  The forest hummed with life all around me. I twirled about, gazing up at the dense treetops, listening to the singing of the birds. Some sunlight broke through the cracks of the limbs, lighting up the dirt path ahead of me.

  Outgrown roots, wildflowers, and fallen leaves crunched beneath my bare feet as I glided down the familiar path. Magic flowed freely through the air and radiated from my heart. I never wore shoes in the forest. The feel of the earth between my toes super-charged my magical energy. My coven used to call it earthing, and it had countless benefits to witches. It was the one practice they followed I hadn’t disagreed with.

  I slowed my pace as I noticed a giant brown grizzly bear sprawled on the path several yards in front of me. Anxiety radiated off it in waves, smacking into me full-force.

  I was an empath. One of the powers I possessed was feeling others’ emotions as if they were my own—supernatural, human, plant, or animal. It was partly why I was so content with being on my own. I didn’t have to deal with the draining emotions of other beings unless I wanted to.

  The bear was on its side, breathing laboriously. I could hear my heart thudding in my ears as I rounded it. It was a female bear, and she let out a warning growl.

  I paused, sucking in a breath, and pulled energy from around us. The air went static as I used my magic to communicate with her.

  “Can I help you?” I asked, my voice soft so I wouldn’t frighten her more than she already was. I sensed panic, dread, pain, and anxiety, but no murderous intent.

  She let out a strangled cry before resting her head against the ground. My cubs. They are in a cave to the east of the river. There was a wolf that I drove away, but he bit me. He wasn’t a regular wolf. Please, protect them.

  My brows bumped together as I shook my head. “You will protect them, mama bear. Can I heal your wound?”

  She hesitated but rolled over once she realized she had no choice but to trust me, exposing the deep wound on her side.

  My blood turned to ice as I gawked at it. Her brown fur had been ripped away, along with a massive chunk of flesh. I would have to use a lot of power to heal her. I wasn’t sure how she was still alive, but I knew no regular wolf around these parts could cause that kind of damage.

  It had to be a werewolf, and if that were the case—none of us were safe here. I
glanced around the area and sensed nothing.

  We seemed to be alone for now.

  “It’ll be okay. I’ll work fast.” I pressed my hands over her wound, seeping into the warm, sticky flesh. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the magical energy from my core into her injury, and a golden hue emanated from my hands as I focused on healing her.

  Healing was a gift not all witches had, and I had kept it a secret from the coven, just as my grandma and parents told me to. They had me hide many of my affinities from the coven for fear that they would extort my powers, something child-me never understood.

  I grew up thinking of the coven as a family and thought my parents and grandma were over-cautious. Until the coven proved them right when a pack of werewolves killed my parents in the most gruesome way imaginable, and they did nothing to avenge them. Even worse, when Grandma tried to leave and go after the werewolves responsible, the coven elders killed her.

  They stole her life essence and banished me in front of the entire coven as a warning; Don’t challenge the elders. Their actions were incomprehensible and utterly unforgivable.

  It was soul-crushing. I trusted those corrupt witches with my life, and they betrayed me in the worst way possible. I learned the hard way I couldn’t trust anyone; the people I could trust were dead and gone.

  Being on my own wasn’t terrible. I was free to use my gifts how I wanted without hiding them. I could be my authentic self among the creatures of the forest.

  A few moments passed, and the bear’s skin was intact again. My hands smoothed over her bare skin. My magic reached its limit, so I wasn't able to regenerate her fur.

  She climbed to her feet and wiggled around. Thank you, Witch of the Forest. If I can repay this debt to you, I will be around these parts. All you need to do is call for me.

  I smiled. “Go protect your cubs. Be well.”

  She nodded and took off to the east at a sprint.

  I stretched out my limbs and winced from the soreness of my muscles. I hadn’t done a healing spell like that in a long time. Tapping out magical energy was the equivalent of tapping out physical energy but with a higher price.

  I had to recharge quickly to put up another ward tonight. I ran a hand through my silky black hair and sighed. Having a werewolf around these parts made my skin crawl. They were atrocities. I squeezed my eyes shut, and the vision of my mutilated parents flashed in my mind. I’d been the one to find them, and the demonic auras of the werewolves that killed them lingered.

  I’d never been able to scrub the memory from my brain.

  My eyes shot open. I had to double-up the ward as soon as possible.

  As I hastened up the path to my cottage, the tree spirits sent warning omens my way, but with my magic depleted, I couldn’t explicitly communicate with them to ask what was wrong. Still, their message was clear.

  Something wasn’t right.

  My breath caught in my lungs as goosebumps pebbled on my arms before I swung open the door to my cottage. Everything seemed to be in place. A tiny wood stove in the corner beside a small wooden chair and a circular table. A twin mattress laid in the middle of the room. I didn’t bother with a bathroom because I lived off the land, and there was a river roughly half a mile away for me to gather water and bathe. I’d also built an outhouse of sorts outside. Life was plain, simple, and at times it was hard—but quaint and comfortable too.

  I stepped inside and pushed the door shut with my heel. I let out the breath I’d been holding as I spun around to collapse on the bed and sleep off the magical hangover, but a brown blur caught my eye and jolted me to my core.

  Behind the door was a freaking monster of a wolf.

  I took a few steps back as he moved to block my only exit, staring at me with almost human eyes that seemed to stare deep into my soul.

  The only sound in the entire house was his breathing; his flaring nostrils seemed to be inhaling in my very essence. He curled up his gums to reveal sharp, white teeth before he let out a low, rumbling growl. Something about his aura was pulling me toward him, but I knew my fate, and I didn’t expect anything less.

  In seconds, my throat would be ripped out, and my flesh consumed. With my magic depleted, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

  TWO

  Xavier

  I didn’t know how long I’d been running. If I had to guess, it’d been a little over a year since I first left the Maxwell Pack to set out on my path of revenge. I’d come up empty. Every time I tried to attack Lockhart, the plan got fucked, royally.

  I’d taken off in a rage to clear my mind days, maybe weeks, ago, and I’d ended up in some thick ass forest I could barely run through without bumping into a tree.

  I’d sniffed out some bear cubs for dinner, but their mother distracted me. I took a good chunk out of her before catching the scent of sunflowers and soil—a smell that wrapped me up and made me fucking choke.

  It was a fragrance that captivated me like the scent of a mate would, but my mate was ten feet under. It didn’t make a lick of sense, and if anything, it pissed me off. I had to track the source of the phony scent, so I let my dinner be and followed it.

  The smell led me to a small as fuck cottage. I’d pushed the creaky door open with my snout and moved in. The structure was one big ass room with herbs, crystals, and blankets scattered everywhere. It was hard to see anything from the forest being dense with trees, but inside was dark as hell too, with only a couple of candles illuminating the surroundings.

  I decided to wait in hiding until whoever lived here came back. The cottage reeked of that smell, and my wolf fucking purred, the dumbass animal.

  I’d never met a witch before, but I swore magic lingered in the air.

  When the door finally opened, a dainty woman with silky black hair reaching down to her hips strode in. The smell wafted from her to me, and my mouth watered like a damn puppy. She let out a sigh and spun around, her dress twirled up around her, showing those short, slim legs I would have loved to wrap around my hips.

  Fuck.

  The need to claim her was overwhelming, but I fought it. She wasn’t my mate. I had one already. She was a fucking witch, and there was no doubt in my mind now that I’d seen her. She must’ve put me under a voodoo spell or some shit.

  Her lavender eyes locked with mine, and the world stopped. She was enchanting, with her button nose and plump pink lips. A low growl emitted from my throat as I stepped forward, and she back peddled away from me as the color in her face drained.

  We stared at each other for a while before she broke the silence. “Do it already.”

  The fear laced in her delicate voice slammed into me. She was afraid of me, and at that fucking moment, I didn’t care if she had me under a spell. I didn’t want her to be afraid of me.

  I shifted back to my human form for the first time in what seemed like forever. My bones ached from the swift transition, and I cracked my neck to relieve some of the pressure. It hurt like a bitch.

  She let out a high-pitched scream, turning her back to me so quickly those black strands of hair fanned around her before settling over the pale skin of her shoulders. “You’re naked!”

  “Well, yeah. I’m a werewolf. Do you expect me to shift with clothes on? Could you imagine a huge ass wolf dressed up like a damn domesticated dog?” I chuckled.

  She pointed toward the corner next to the mattress. “Over there. I have an extra pair of sweats. Put them on.”

  I shook my head but did as she said and slipped on the discarded sweatpants. They were tight on me, but whatever. The little witch was amusing. “All done.”

  She peeped around to make sure the sweats covered me before facing me. “Who are you, and why did you break into my cottage?”

  I smirked. For a scared little thing, she sure was demanding. “I’m Xavier. I used to be the Beta of Maxwell Pack before going rogue. And you are?”

  She gasped as fear overtook the ambiance again. “A rogue? Aren’t you like a… mindless killing machine?”
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  I shook my head, watching her stumble over her dirt-covered feet and lean against the wall furthest away from me.

  Why the fuck did that bother me?

  “Why are you here?” she asked again.

  “I caught a scent of sunflowers and soil, a smell that made my mouth water. It seems that smell is coming from you, little witch.”

  “Sunflowers and soil.” She stilled. “Are you going to eat me?”

  Laughter erupted deep from my chest. She couldn’t be serious. “Not that kind of mouth-watering.”

  Her mouth dropped as pink cascaded over her cheeks. I couldn’t help but notice the swift smell of arousal that radiated off her before disappearing as fast as it came. “But...” She cleared her throat. “What does that mean?”

  My long strides ate up the distance between us, and her stare followed my every move. Tension hung thick in the air. “Have you ever heard of a mate bond?”

  “Fated mates. Of course. Exclusive to shifters and vampires. I’d learned that back before I was banished from my—wait—why the heck am I telling you that?” She slapped a hand over her mouth.

  My brows furrowed. A matebond was capable of making mates spill their darkest secrets with each other. It acted as a truth serum for mates, but there was no way we had the real thing. She had to be playing me, but her innocence was clear as fucking day, which only pissed me off more.

  “I’ve had a mate before. She was killed.” Heat rose on the back of my neck. “But your scent is affecting me as hers would. I want to mark you.”

  She covered her neck with both hands and shook her head vigorously. “B-But I’m not anyone’s mate. I’m not anyone’s anything.”

  “I know you’re not my mate, but that doesn’t explain this.” I reached forward and cupped her cheek, my palm making contact with the soft skin. Sparks exploded, more than they ever did with Olivia, which was fucking impossible.