The Rat

by Louise Collins

  “And I’m thinking to myself, Sebastian still doesn’t know, and he only has a week left, what will you do to make sure I keep your secret?”

  “What do you want?”

  “You broke my nose, and my ribs…”

  “You wanna break mine in return?”

  “No, not at first. I don’t want blood getting in the way of us kissing.”

  “Kissing?”

  Pauly nodded and reached for Rory’s face. “Kissing … and the rest.”

  “No.”

  Pauly tutted. “Then I tell Sebastian, and I don’t think he’ll take it well. The last person who betrayed him got strangled…”

  “I’m not gonna sleep with you.”

  “That’s your decision, and I’ve decided I’m not gonna keep your secret.”

  “You won’t have to keep it,” Rory snapped. “I’m gonna tell him myself.”

  Pauly lifted his eyebrows. “Are you crazy? He’ll kill you.”

  “So what if he does?”

  Pauly backed away. “You’re really gonna tell him?”

  “Yep. I’m sick of being blackmailed. I’m sick of having no control over any of this.”

  “You’ve actually impressed me.”

  “That wasn’t my intention.”

  Pauly backed away, smiling to himself. He flashed a look at the guard, who stepped forward. “Ready to go back on the wing?”

  “Hell, yeah.” Pauly muttered, then he winked at Rory. “Don’t worry. I’ll get the conversation started with Sebastian…”

  Rory sprung forward, but the guard pushed him back. “Hey, I’ll take you back once the doc’s got your pills.”

  “I wanna go now.”

  “No. If you’re gonna argue about it, I’ll take you back down to solitary.”

  Rory rocked back on his heels, then spun around to find the doctor. When he next looked at the door, the guard and Pauly had gone.

  “I need my medication.” Rory shouted.

  “In a minute.”

  “No, now.”

  The doctor strode forward and shoved a clipboard under his nose. “Sign here.”

  Rory scribbled in the boxes, snatched the pills from the doctor’s hand, then rushed to the door.

  “I need to go back on the wing!”

  ****

  Rory’s heart beat so hard he swore he could hear it. He stepped into the wing, and whipped his head left and right, looking for Sebastian. He glanced up, like the first day he’d walked in there, and there Sebastian was, on the second landing, leaning over the railing, looking at Rory. He grinned, and Rory grinned back, then his eyes snapped to Pauly approaching. The grin on his face wasn’t friendly, but cruel and twisted.

  Rory rushed to the stairs, tripped and hit his knee, earning him a cheer from the rowdy inmates below. He ignored them, pushed past people, all to get to the second floor, to stop Pauly revealing his secret.

  “I know something, you don’t know.” Pauly said in a sing song voice.

  Sebastian folded his arms. “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah!”

  Rory ran at Sebastian and grabbed his arm. His heart pounding and he thought might pass out. He swayed on his feet, and open-mouth panted.

  “Easy, Rory…”

  “I need to talk to you.”

  Pauly smirked. “Don’t you wanna know what I do? It’s a one-time offer, hear it now…”

  Sebastian tore his gaze from Rory. “What the hell are you on about?”

  “Let’s go in the cell.” Rory begged. “Please.”

  “In a minute, I wanna hear what this asshole’s got to say.”

  Pauly tipped his head back and laughed.

  “No, now.” Rory hissed.

  Other inmates were looking their way, edging closer, eager to hear their conversation. Rory pulled at Sebastian’s arm, but he didn’t move, he had tunnel vision for Pauly, and his gloating face.

  Sebastian brushed Rory’s hand away and took a step closer to Pauly. “Come on, out with it…”

  Pauly raised his hands. “Okay, okay … Rory, your cellmate, the one you’ve been fucking for the past few months … he’s an undercover police officer.”

  Rory couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, all he could do was watch emotions play out on Sebastian’s face. He turned to Rory, and Rory saw the disbelief in his eyes, and it made everything worse. He’d wanted anger, fury, betrayal, but not disbelief, disbelief meant he trusted Rory.

  “You’re lying…” Sebastian snapped.

  “No, I’m not.” Pauly snorted. “He was here to get information on you, seduced his way into your bed so he could stab you in the back.”

  Rory clutched the railing. So many eyes were on them, so many ears were listening. He couldn’t see Captain or Ollie, and prayed they were somewhere else, in the gym or outside in the yard. This was not the way he wanted them to find out.

  Sebastian looked at Rory again, fixed him with a cold stare, the one that could stop Rory’s heart, then his expression softened, and he shook his head.

  “No.”

  “Yes,” Pauly growled.

  Sebastian chuckled, then clapped his hands in slow applause. “How long did it take you to come up with that?”

  “What?”

  “That bullshit, how long? Rory breaks your bones, so you make up some stupid story, so I’ll attack him. It’s not gonna work.”

  Rory’s weakened heart was being pushed down the hole of despair once again. He bowed over, and put his hands on his knees.

  “He’s done you good.” Pauly smirked.

  “Looking at that bandage on your face, I’d say he’d done you good. The whole wing’s been talking about it, Rory beating you unconscious. Your little bandana wearing friends denying they were behind you … most of them were only pretending in the first place … for me.”

  “You’re lying…”

  “We laughed at you, you thinking you had some power in the prison, you thinking you might be able to take me on. I’m everywhere in this prison, and you were a fool to forget it.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “You’re nothing in here, Pauly, and after I’m gone, someone else will take over the wing, and you’ll still be nothing.”

  Pauly roared and launched at Sebastian. The guards rushed up from the ground floor, shoving inmates aside, trying to get to the two men killing each other.

  “Lock down!”

  The siren started blaring, but no one moved. They watched as Sebastian grabbed Pauly by the throat, pulsed his fingers around his windpipe like he’d done to Lester sixteen years before. Pauly struggled against the hold and flailed for breath. His lips turned blue, and his eyes bulged from their sockets, then Sebastian let him go.

  Pauly fell to his knee, spluttering and gasping, and Sebastian raised his hands in the air, ready for the guards to swoop on him.

  “Back to your cell!”

  Rory let himself be manhandled by a guard, and shoved in his cell. They were restraining Sebastian, leading him away, and Rory knew him and Pauly were heading for solitary.

  The door slammed on Rory’s face. He pressed his forehead to it and sunk down to the floor.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “This is the first time we’ve actually met…”

  He didn’t know why, but he’d expected the governor to be bigger, taller, wider, but he was a skinny man with bushy eyebrows, and even bushier hair.

  Rory followed him into the office and sat down at his desk. “Thank you for seeing me.”

  “This whole undercover operation, highly unorthodox. I’ll admit I wasn’t happy with the idea, concerned over your safety more than anything, and when you were stabbed, I tried to call it off, but Hamish was persistent.”

  “He’s definitely persistent,” Rory muttered.

  “Like a dog with a bone, and he assured me you could handle it, and I’m impressed to say you have. Hamish has told me you’ve been a huge help—”

  “I’ve not handled it.” Rory laughed sadly. “I’m
leaving this prison not having a clue who I am anymore.”

  “You’re a police officer.”

  “Am I? The only thing I know for sure, is that when I look in the mirror, I don’t like what I see.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Hamish assured me you were happy, content being inside—”

  “Happy? My sister died, and he didn’t tell me.”

  “What?”

  Rory tried to remember Morris’s words. “I think he told you I was identifying a body.”

  The governor’s lips bobbed open and closed.

  “That was my sister.”

  “I had no idea. I…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “I’m sorry.”

  “Ya know … I lied before I went into prison, and I lied while I was there, and I don’t wanna lie anymore.”

  The governor frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m done here. Sebastian’s in solitary, but his release as far as I know is still going ahead on Friday.”

  “The guards saw Pauly attack first, Sebastian will still be released as planned.”

  “I wanna talk to him before I go.”

  The governor sighed, then shook his head. “That doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

  “It was all I could think about when we were locked down, and as soon as we were allowed out of our cells, I went to the library, and I wrote Sebastian a letter.”

  He lifted the folded piece of paper up for the governor to see. “Please let me give it to him.”

  “He’s in solitary … I’ll go with you and open up the hatch.”

  “Thank you.”

  The governor gawped into space, then whispered, “Your sister.”

  Rory shook his head. He couldn’t think about her.

  “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  Rory nodded. “I’d like to see Ollie and Captain.”

  “I can do that right now.”

  He picked up the phone on his desk, and it connected immediately. “Send Oliver Linton and Benjamin Tracy to my office.”

  Rory closed his eyes, and heard the governor putting the phone back in the holder.

  “Can I speak to them alone?”

  “I’ll wait outside.”

  Rory listened to the governor getting to his feet, walking to the door, then passing through it. He released a slow breath and flexed his aching hands. It didn’t seem like much time had passed before the door opened again.

  “What the hell is going on?” Ollie blurted.

  Rory opened his eyes. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “As long as it’s not about you being a police officer.” Ollie snorted.

  Rory didn’t answer.

  “We heard Pauly tried to wind up Sebastian, tried to get him to attack you, but Sebastian saw through it.”

  Rory stood up. “What Pauly said was true.”

  “What?” Ollie gasped.

  “I’m undercover. I was sent here to gather information on Sebastian. To unearth his plans.”

  Captain leaned back against the wall and turned away, but Ollie took a step towards Rory. His eyes were searching when they connected with Rory’s, and he didn’t see disbelief, but a devastating realization.

  “Take it back.” Ollie murmured.

  Rory took a deep breath. “It wasn’t my intention to deceive you, I didn’t want to hurt either of you.”

  “You’re not in here for eight years…” Ollie whispered.

  “No.”

  Ollie turned around and clutched his head. “You lied.”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought we were friends—”

  “We are.”

  “No, we’re not! Friends don’t lie like that. You—I told you about my dad.”

  Rory scrunched up his face. “I know.”

  “I thought we’d be in here together … I thought I’d have you for eight of my nine years.”

  “I’ll visit you, write to you, I swear.”

  Ollie turned around and pointed his finger at Rory. “I want nothing from you.”

  His face had reddened, and Rory’s eyes started stinging when he saw Ollie’s getting waterlogged.

  “I’m sorry—”

  “Sure, you are … you get to go home, get to walk out those gates, and go back to your life, and your family, and I’m left here to rot.”

  “Ollie…” Rory pressed his hands together. “I really am sorry, I—I can’t tell you enough.”

  Ollie wiped aggressively at his face. “You know what…”

  “What?”

  “I wish you bled out in that cupboard. I wish Pauly sunk that knife into your heart.”

  His words knocked the air from Rory’s chest, and he bowed forward. Ollie turned, opened the door, then slammed it behind himself.

  “He doesn’t mean that.” Captain whispered.

  “He does, and sometimes I wish it, too.”

  “Don’t say that…”

  “Are you not gonna yell at me, wish me dead?”

  Captain shook his head, then murmured. “No, you have to own your choices. That question about me working undercover suddenly makes sense.”

  “You were right, it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth hurting Ollie, lying to you, betraying Sebastian. I told you I can be evil, too.”

  “You’re not evil, Rory. You did what you had to…” Captain held out his hand. “It was nice meeting you.”

  “Really?”

  Captain smiled, and Rory clutched his hand.

  “Promise you’ll look after Ollie.”

  “I will, I swear.”

  “And you’ll take care of yourself.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Rory squeezed Captain’s hand harder. “I’m sorry…”

  “Don’t be… I get it, I really do.”

  Captain dropped his hand, gave him a brief smile, then turned away. He closed the door softly behind himself, and Rory collapsed on his chair. He held his face in his hands and rocked back and forth.

  The door opened, and Rory knew the governor was standing behind him. “Are you ready to see Sebastian?”

  Rory lifted his head. He wasn’t ready, he’d never be ready, but he had to do it.

  “Yeah.” He grabbed his letter off the desk and got to his feet. “Let’s go.”

  ****

  The governor opened the hatch, then stepped away. Rory kneeled on the floor, and when Sebastian’s face appeared in the opening, it took all his willpower not to break down in front of him.

  “Rory? What the hell?” His eyes were round with worry, and he searched Rory’s face for an answer. Rory ducked his head.

  “Hey…” Sebastian mumbled, reaching through the hatch.

  “Hands inside.” The governor muttered.

  Sebastian huffed, then retracted his hand. “What’s wrong?”

  “What Pauly said was true.”

  Sebastian leaned away from the hatch.

  “I’m a police officer. My inspector planted me here to gather information on you.”

  “Inspector … Hamish?”

  Rory nodded, then looked down at the letter in his hand.

  “I wrote you this. It explains everything. What I did, how I feel about you. Read it, you’ll never see me again, I swear. I’m gonna go away—”

  “I don’t want a letter.”

  Rory scrunched up his face. “Please, please read it.”

  “No.”

  Rory shoved it through the hatch. “You have to take it, I have to apologize, I have to explain.”

  “I don’t want your apology.”

  Rory flapped the letter. “Take it.”

  Sebastian snatched it from his hand, then tore the letter in half, then into four, then into eighths, then he threw the pieces back through the door. “If you really want to explain, you’ll talk to me, you’ll explain to me while I can see you. While I can talk back.”

  Rory licked his lips. “Okay… I—”

  “No. Not here. Not where there’s people l
istening, and I’m trapped in a box. Friday. Meet me outside the prison.”

  “What?”

  “Be there.” Sebastian mumbled. “Then I’ll hear you out.”

  He moved away from the hatch and lay down on the mattress on the floor.

  “Sebastian…”

  “That’s enough now, Rory,” The governor whispered, “You gave him the letter, he didn’t want it, now it’s time to go home.”

  Rory got to his feet. “Home.”

  ****

  Rory leaned against the wall outside the prison. He knew he should ask reception to call him a cab, and go back to his flat, but he couldn’t. His mind had slammed the breaks on, and he was stuck, lost in a pit of his own making, with no clue how to climb out of it.

  He had to go back to his flat, he had to contact the hospital, and make arrangements for Erica, but he couldn’t even motivate himself to get a cab, let alone try to accept the loss of his sister. It wouldn’t matter anyway, he’d be dead by Saturday.

  A suited man stepped out the reception door, and immediately dropped all his files. He cursed, got down on his knees, and began collecting them. Rory stared at all the scattered papers, and folders.

  The man got to his feet, slotted the files under his armpit, then glared at Rory. “So you could’ve helped…”

  Rory blinked out of his depressive state.

  “What?”

  The skin at the top of the man’s nose dented with a frown. His eyes were brown, the same shade as the hair on his head, and his cheeks were sprinkled with faint freckles.

  “I dropped all my stuff over the ground, and you stood there and stared.”

  “I’m sorry, I—can I help?”

  “I’m okay now, thanks, but what about you?”

  “Huh?”

  “You look like you’re a million miles away.”

  Rory sighed. “I really wish I was.”

  “Wanna talk about it?”

  “I’m not comfortable talking to a complete stranger about my mess.”

  “Sometimes it’s best to talk to a complete stranger,” The man said, then craned his neck down, and pointed to his badge with his chin.

  “Doctor Jenkins,” Rory mumbled, “you’re the prison psychiatrist.”

  Jenkins smiled. “That’s me. My car’s over there. I can give you a ride if you want?”