Hidden Embers

by Amanda Perry

  “Th-th-thank you,” I stammer, pushing myself up on the bed slightly.

  The nurse comes in a few minutes later, easily taking the IV out of my arm. She puts a piece of gauze and tape over the small hole. “You’re good to go, dear. Just rest today.”

  After getting to my feet, the room spins. Caleb wraps an arm around my waist and lifts me off my feet.

  “You’re supposed to take it easy,” he scolds gently.

  I raise a brow at him. “Does that mean n-n-no walking?”

  Dad scoffs next to us. “I’m with Caleb on this one. Resting is all you’re allowed to do today. When we get home, I’ll have Cassie bring you some of those girly magazines she loves. I’ll make you some food and bring it up to you, and you can just hang out in bed all day.”

  It warms my heart to have dad and Caleb caring about me. They didn’t even think twice about helping me get better. My dad offering to do something as simple as make me food has tears building behind my eyes.

  “Thank you both, for helping me,” I mutter as we get into the car. “It’s the first t-t-time I’ve ever had medicine for one of those h-h-headaches, and having them is w-w-way better than waiting it out for hours or days.”

  “Anytime, kiddo,” Dad assures me. “You never have to suffer through something like that again. Just tell us, and we will do whatever we can to fix it for you.”

  When we make it home, Dad and Caleb make sure I’m set up in my bed. Cassie brings me magazines as promised. Dad makes me a sandwich and some soup. Jaxon sneaks some chocolate in, and Leanne grabs a few books she knows I like from the shelves upstairs.

  Once everyone files out of the room, content with the knowledge that I’m fine now, Caleb kicks off his shoes and sits down on the bed next to me. He picks up one of the magazines and flips through it.

  My eyes focus on the side of his face, and I wait patiently for him to give me his attention.

  He grins. “Yes?”

  “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” I pick at pretend lint on the blanket.

  He closes his magazine and sets it down. “Would you like me to leave?”

  “No,” I admit, my cheeks turning pink. “I like having you h-h-here. But if you have other things to do, I u-u-understand.”

  He shakes his head and picks the magazine back up. “Nope, I’m free all day. You’re stuck with me. Though, I’m not sure I want to read about twenty ways to meet my perfect man. I might stick with a book instead.”

  Smiling to myself, I choose a different magazine and scan through the pages. We spend the rest of the day talking about the articles in the magazines, napping, and reading our own books.

  When we’re forced to get up and leave my room for dinner at the end of the day, I realize I really like being stuck with Caleb.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “So, because it’s your birthday, you think you can just leave this house and go whoring yourself around?” he yells while backing me into the corner.

  “I w-w-wasn’t,” I stutter. “I s-s-swear, I just w-w-went to the l-l-library for a few b-b-books.”

  “Don’t you lie to me, you little bitch!”

  “Sam, come on, leave her here! We’re going to be late for our dinner reservation!” my mother yells from the front door.

  Samael gets an evil glint in his eyes as he stalks closer to me. “You will pay for ruining our evening, little girl.”

  “Sam! Let’s go!” My mother is getting impatient.

  “Angie, if you tell me what to do one more time, it will be the last thing you do!” he hollers over his shoulder.

  The second he looks toward the front door, I take my only chance at an escape and make a run for it. As I reach the back door, I hear the sickening crack of a belt. Seconds later, I feel the stinging pain on my right shoulder, slowing me down. A hand wraps around my neck, and I’m thrown to the ground.

  “Big mistake, sugar.”

  I bolt upright in bed, gasping for air and searching the room for threats. Instead of the person I fear showing up, I find flames covering my room. Not again!

  Still trying to gain my bearings, I sit up on my knees and scan the room for an exit. The only two exits, the bedroom door and the window, are both blocked by raging flames. Yelling out will be useless; no one will be able to get to me faster than the flames. With no way out, I’m going to burn in here, like I should’ve done all those months ago.

  As the end of my bed catches fire, I jump out of bed, then drop to the floor and crawl to the only corner of the room not engulfed in flames. There, I curl into a ball as I wait for the burning inferno to reach me.

  “Riley!” Jaxon’s shout reaches me above the roar of the fire. “Hold on, Sis, we’re going to get you out!”

  My lungs burn from the growing cloud of smoke. Every breath I take hurts as I cough and wheeze. Covering my mouth, I try to keep the thick smoke away, but it’s not helping. I don’t know how they plan on getting to me. It’s not like they have the ability to walk through fire or something.

  Cassie calls for Caleb to hurry, and the flames suddenly dissipate. I squint through the smoke, Caleb stands by my bedroom door with his brow drawn in concentration. Jaxon, Cassie, Leanne, and Dad stand behind him, searching for me through the evaporating smoke and blaze.

  My head slowly shakes back and forth in confusion as to how the fire seems to be vanishing without any help of water or an extinguisher, but no one else appears shocked by the strange phenomenon.

  Before I think of a logical explanation, Caleb picks me up, hugs me tightly to his body, and rushes me from the overheated wreckage. Only a few areas of the room still smolder, light trails of smoke swirling to the blackened ceiling.

  “Caleb?” I whisper, seeking the words to ask him what happened, but unsure I know what I experienced.

  Caleb’s grip tightens around me as he bows his head to whisper in my ear. “Shh, baby, hold on. Let us check you over and make sure you’re not hurt before we talk about this.”

  I let out a small, frustrated sigh, but relax into his embrace as everyone settles into the living room downstairs. Caleb takes residence on the far side of the sectional, refusing to allow me to move. Not that I fight him on it. Being in Caleb’s arms eases some of my nerves from nearly being burned alive.

  “Does anything hurt, kiddo?” Dad asks as everyone finds a seat.

  I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so. What’s going on? How did that happen? What even really happened?” The questions pour out without pause. “Do we have a fire extinguisher or something? Where was it?”

  After a moment of silence, Leanne asks, “Riley, has this ever happened before?”

  I stiffen involuntarily and glance around the room for a distraction, avoiding eye contact with everyone. “Wh-wh-what do you m-m-mean?”

  “I mean”—she pauses, seemingly lost in thought for a moment—“has there ever been a time when something caught on fire without explanation?”

  Tension in the room grows as they wait for my answer. I can’t tell them the truth. They’ll send me away or turn me into the police. They’ll hate me if they know what I did.

  I don’t realize my body has started shaking until Caleb’s grip tightens around my waist. “Baby girl, it’s okay to tell us. We won’t judge you, no matter what,” he assures me, softly.

  Everyone around nods in agreement.

  Should I believe them, though? Will they still care about me if they know what happened? Trust. I know in my heart I need to trust them. I already trust Caleb, and he promises it will be okay. His assurance gives me courage. I take a deep breath and drop my gaze down to my lap. My confession might be easier if I don’t look at them.

  “I killed my mother,” I whisper almost too quietly.

  I’m not sure they heard me until Cassie inhales sharply.

  “How? Why?” she asks, though her voice doesn’t sound judgmental. It almost sounds… sympathetic?

  “It’s kind of a long story.” I pause trying to gather my though
ts. They want to know and it’s too late to take back what I’ve already told them. They might as well know the whole truth before they decide what to do with me. “I turned seventeen last December. I’ve never had presents or parties or any of the things people in movies and books have on their birthdays. That’s okay with me. I never had friends to invite to a birthday party, and I didn’t need presents. I watched movies whenever I could, but most of my time was spent reading when I was growing up. I figured my mom wouldn’t mind if I went to the library for the day.

  “She let me go once a month to stock up on books as long as I didn’t speak to anyone while I was there. I’d already gone once in December, but I read all of my books and really wanted more. I guess I should’ve asked first, but it was just across the street, and I didn’t talk to anyone just like my mother said.”

  My blood runs cold and I have to pause for a moment to collect myself. The memories flash through my mind like a film reel, making me feel like I’m back at my old house. “When I got home, S-S-Samael was there. H-h-he was enraged and said I was a wh-wh-whore. He thought I was out with boys, I guess, even though I didn’t know any. H-h-he and my mother had plans to go to dinner at some fancy restaurant that night, and she was getting impatient. She said they were going to miss their reservation if they didn’t hurry. He wasn’t listening to her, though. H-h-he just kept yelling at me and backing me into a corner.”

  I shake my head, trying to shake the images away. Silence hangs in the air. I can’t handle not knowing what they’re all thinking, so I risk a glance around the room only to find everyone displaying different, mixed emotions. With a harsh glare directed at the floor in front of him, Jaxon seems furious, though I’m pretty sure he isn’t angry with me since he isn’t looking at me.

  Cassie and Leanne both appear heartbroken, their eyes shining with tears and brows drawn together in deep frowns. My father looks outraged and defeated. He repeatedly balls his hands into fists, then relaxes them as if trying to squeeze the stress from himself.

  Caleb’s expression is murderous. I’ve never seen him so upset and angry before. His eyes are narrowed into thin slits, his lips set in a hard line, and his body shaking as rage rolls off of him in waves. I wonder if I should continue with them all in such states of distress.

  I place my hand on Caleb’s cheek and turn his face toward me. “Did I do something w-w-wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t f-f-finish telling you all about this. You all look really u-u-upset.”

  “No! It isn’t you at all, baby. We just… I can’t… It shouldn’t…” He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair while turning at Jaxon in desperation.

  “I think what Caleb is trying to say is we wish you didn’t have to deal with that kind of bullshit growing up,” Jaxon explains. “We should’ve been there to protect you, and we weren’t. That makes us angry at ourselves. More than anything, though, we’re angry at your mother and her poor excuse for a fucking husband.”

  I peer around to find everyone agreeing with Jaxon. “But, you guys didn’t even know about me. There’s no way you could have been there to protect me if you didn’t know about me. It isn’t your fault, any of you.”

  No one responds, but the anger and upset calms after a while. I remain silent, allowing them time to process everything and decide what they want from me.

  “I think we need to hear the rest,” Leanne suggests. “So, we can understand exactly what happened that day.”

  When everyone agrees and settles, I continue. “I knew better than to run when h-h-he was that angry. I should’ve just let him get his a-a-anger out, then he’d leave for dinner with my mother. I could’ve gone to my room and rested for the night after they left. I didn’t, though. I was stupid and reckless. He turned to yell at my mother, and I ducked around him and r-r-ran. I made it to the back door, but I wasn’t fast enough.”

  The memories continue to push forward in my mind, vivid as the day they happened. My heart races and the tears begin to flow freely. I refuse to stop talking, though.

  I want them to understand what happened and why I messed up so badly. “He always had this leather b-b-belt hanging on a hook in the hallway. He grabbed it when he ran after me. He h-h-hit me with it and I wasn’t expecting it. I stopped for a split second because I was surprised by the pain in my shoulder. It was a second too long, though. He g-g-grabbed my neck and threw me down on the ground. He hit me over and over with the belt, and I kept thinking I wish his skin was on f-f-fire like mine. I didn’t mean literally, but my body burned with p-p-pain. I just wanted him to s-s-stop.”

  After catching my breath, I wipe the tears from my cheeks. Caleb holds me tighter as I finish telling them how I killed my own mother. “That’s when I saw the flames. They started out of nowhere and spread rapidly. He stopped hitting me and backed away from the fire. My mom yelled, then a large gust of wind made the fire spread to the living room where my mom stood. She looked t-t-terrified. She kept saying, ‘Don’t do this!’ over and over. I tried to crawl to her and help her, but the pain got to be too much. I couldn’t make myself move from the kitchen floor. The last thing I remember before I passed out was his voice in my ear. He said, ‘You just killed your own mother.’

  “When I woke up, it looked like the house blew up. Rather than a normal house fire, it appeared like there had been some type of explosion. All the windows were blown out; there was glass everywhere. Nearly everything in the living room was burned beyond repair. The farthest corner of the living room had nasty smoke damage, but it wasn’t burned. My mother was in that corner. They told me she didn’t make it. The police didn’t understand how the area of the kitchen I was in had no damage. They were frustrated with me because I told them I didn’t know anything.

  “It was partly true, I don’t remember any sort of explosion. My only theory is the wind was too strong for the old windows and it shattered them. When they asked me over and over, I didn’t tell the police anything. They think I don’t remember the whole day. I didn’t want to go to jail for murder. I still don’t! I swear, I didn’t mean to do it. I don’t even know how I did it!”

  Caleb must realize I’m close to losing it because he pulls me to his chest and rubs my back. “Shhh, it’s okay, baby. You’re okay. No one is going to send you to jail. Just calm down, breathe.”

  I focus on his voice and take deep breaths when he says to. After a few minutes, I calm down enough to talk more, but before I manage to say anything my father speaks up.

  “Riley.” He blinks in shock. I’m convinced he’s disgusted with me for killing my own mother until he speaks again. “Kiddo, why do you think you killed your mother?”

  I don’t understand the question. Wasn’t he listening to me? Sam said I killed her. I saw her on the floor with my own eyes. I open my mouth to say these things, but what my dad says next has me snapping my mouth shut again.

  “She didn’t die from a fire, Riley.” I stare at him in confusion. My mind won’t process his words. I was there. I somehow set the fire. They told me she died. Samael told me I killed her.

  “I don’t understand?” It comes out as more of a question than a statement.

  “I spoke to the police after social services found me and told me about you,” he explains. “They told me your mother died of asphyxiation, but not from smoke inhalation. It was from strangulation. They know you didn’t do it because the handprints on her neck were too large to be yours. Not to mention the state you were in when they found you. They told me they think Samael did it. They haven’t been able to locate him, but apparently, he has a warrant out for his arrest in Florida for assault, also one in Michigan for suspicion of murder. He always seems to disappear before the police can catch him, though. He changes his last name and uses aliases,” he finishes with a grim shake of his head.

  I can’t even begin to process the new information. I didn’t kill her? Why would Samael say I killed her if he did it? I knew he was a bad guy, but a murderer? He really is pure evil. I hope I never have to see him agai
n. My mother wasn’t the best person ever. She let him hurt me; she even joined him in inflicting pain sometimes. She said I was a mistake and never wanted me. But she was my mother. That means something, doesn’t it?

  With a sigh, I push away the new revelation for a later time. I can’t bring myself to think about what this means right now.

  “So, then, I didn’t start the fire either?” I ask.

  “Well,” Cassie mutters, dragging out the word. “We think you kind of did.”

  “But how is that even possible?” My brain feels ready to explode. Nothing makes any sense.

  “Riley…” Cassie starts, but stops and glances over at Leanne.

  Leanne takes her queue to cut in for Cassie. “Honey, you’re an Elemental.”

  Everyone’s watching me, waiting for my reaction to this news. I search their faces, trying to understand. The seriousness of the admission is clear with everyone, but it’s completely foreign to me.

  Finally, after a long stretch of silence and staring, I say the only thing I can think of. “Huh?”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “Way to throw that out there, Mom,” Jaxon snorts.

  Leanne winces sheepishly, then turns to my dad for help. “Mark, would you like to take it from here?”

  “Oh, I see how it is!” Dad exclaims with exasperation as he gapes at his wife. “You toss her in the deep end, then ask me to dive in after her.”

  I can’t stop the short laugh that escapes at Leanne’s response to him. It’s the expression you would expect a child to use when trying to get out of trouble. Her innocent smile does what she hopes it will because my dad simply grins and rolls his eyes. More giggles bubble up as I watch their exchange.

  “That’s a beautiful sound,” Caleb murmurs in my ear.