Darkest Pattern- The Door

by Riva Zmajoki

  Those were amusing thoughts, but there was no time for foolishness, it was time to try with the road again. To be in the bushes meant to be arrested even without any proof whatsoever.

  The next day Josephine greeted her long-awaited guest. The girl was admirable, young and her cheeks were in the colour of the mellow peach. She looked like spring, but Josephine didn’t felt joy seeing her face, nor did she felt the flame of anticipation. There was a ritual of wooing and without even noticing Josephine started first steps towards seduction, but she felt no pleasure in the hunt. In the evening Josephine rolled herself in the sheets making a tube around herself and thought about a grey lock of hair on the dark neck. It fell off her bun.

  Thinking of it Josephine remembered how she said to the patrolman that the intruder was bearing a child. That made her laugh and feel dread before her own brashness. She could have killed them all with her recklessness. If he took one look at the woman he would know it’s a lie. Luckily she held his stare. This way she can claim that the foolish pregnant Sue was driving with them that day. Sue is so stupid that she’ll believe it herself.

  The road was a bad idea. Belva realized that after just a few turns. There were few people on the road on foot, and most of them were white. Dark people moved just in custody. Passers looked at them suspiciously.

  Suddenly, it seemed that on this place Belva wasn’t pale enough to pass for Evan’s owner.

  “It’s best that we move back to bushes,” she said to Evan and he silently agreed.

  “The condition here is worse than in other places,” he said when they were back in the woods, on the road he didn’t dare to speak up. “There are no free blacks anywhere. I doubt that we’ll be able to establish a railroad here, for it we need trustworthy connections, shelters, safe roads. Without free blacks, there’s no one to help us.”

  Belva thought of her lady, but that was a silly thought. The lady was momentarily smitten by something on her, it didn’t mean she would be willing to help their cause for her infatuation. It would also require some kind of engagement from Belva’s side.

  She smiled then, that part she wouldn’t take with hardship, but it would be silly to rely on such feeble feeling as an attraction. As soon as the lady would see Belva in the proper light her rapture would end abruptly.

  “I can hear dogs,” Evan interrupted her thoughts.

  Belva didn’t hear anything but she trusted in his ears, he could always hear things she couldn’t.

  “Then we’ll split up,” she said determinately. “Just in case, I doubt that those are the same dogs and probably those were just accidentally aroused by us.”

  “But the meeting point?” he was distraught.

  “I said before, White Phoenix,” she said calmly. “I find someplace before its gardens and wait for you there.”

  “There really is a plantation?” he said surprised. “Surely there is no lady.”

  “Just go, now is not the time for chatter,” she pushed him and went in the opposite direction.

  On the second day of courting, she was supposed to already go to the seemingly casual touch on her neck, but Josephine stared for too long at her neck with a skin of a newborn and the moment passed. If Josephine had a daughter, she would surely be unable to seduce this girl. Luckily, she had no daughter.

  The girl had a lean neck of a bird, it looked so fragile. It was so different from the firm strength of the dark neck with fuscous skin which was surely was glowing a few years earlier.

  Josephine continued her well-established ritual at a slower pace. The girl looked impatient to her, a bit too eager, but Josephine didn’t think much of it, she barely thought of the girl even when she looked straight at her.

  In the evening, Josephine led the girl out in the garden for a walk. Even out there in the darkening maze of her garden, Josephine hesitated to squeeze their crinolines together and grab her intimately around her waist. Then she would make a seemingly innocent touch on her corset. That manoeuvre was very efficient in lifting up heartbeats. Instead of the contact, Josephine looked around while the girl chattered nervously. That’s why she noticed a dark shadow under the trees.

  The shape of that shadow was familiar. Josephine’s heart raced then and she felt like she’s a prisoner in her corset. There was no fear in her heart or thought of an ambush, just worry. Josephine quickly turned the girl away from the sight and took her cheeks in her hands.

  “Will you,” Josephine tried to think of something. “Will you go inside? Find Major-Domo and tell him to tune the piano for you so you can play for me afterwards.”

  “Right now?” the girl was confused.

  “Yes, I passionately love the music. I will follow you shortly,” she let go of her cheeks which now seemed red under the light from the house.

  “I should go through the garden alone?” she looked at the thickening darkness with hesitation.

  “Yes, I’ll watch you go. Meanwhile, I’ll rest here a bit to recollect my thoughts and come after you,” she said but saw a frown forming on her forehead. “I don’t want to bother anyone, but my leg hurts a bit these days, it must be the weather.”

  The girl frowned even deeper as Josephine tried to mimic fatigue of old people. That wasn’t appealing at all, to admit any kind of pain. Josephine knew that she just ruined all her wooing till now, but she just didn’t care for that.

  The girl nodded reluctantly and went towards the house. As she walked she turned few times checking is Josephine still there. Josephine looked after her impatiently, she moved so slowly.

  “You know,” the voice sounded from now thick darkness, Josephine felt shivers from its velvety texture, “it could have been a real bandit here, and I could have brought ten of strong men with me to avenge the kiss.”

  The girl finally disappeared into the house. Josephine turned towards the dark silhouette. The woman leaned against the tree trunk.

  “But you didn’t, didn’t you?”

  “Why are you so certain?” she sounded tired.

  “Because I paid for that kiss,” Josephine said firmly.

  “That you sure did,” she paused. “Your darling is very young. What do you need kisses from an old hag like me for?”

  “Well,” Josephine waved it off dismissingly. “It’s just a short entertainment, that girl I mean.”

  The woman laughed at that.

  “You like that, short entertainments?”

  “Not really,” Josephine frowned sensing a mockery in her tone. “Do you need help?”

  “You did offer it,” the woman reminded her.

  “I’m still offering it.”

  “Good, because I actually need help,” she said and pushed herself off the tree trunk.

  The woman stumbled towards Josephine and she hurried to support her. After Josephine took the woman under the arm she noted that the woman held her pistol on her waist. The left hand of the woman seemed too flat by her side, it just hung there. Josephine reached out and touched the side of her left arm just to feel the warm stream of blood in her sleeve. Her hand was wet from the blood.

  “You’re wounded,” Josephine was terrified now.

  “It’s nothing really,” the woman said tiredly. “I just need a place to spend the night.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Josephine was upset now. “You need a bandage and a doctor.”

  “No doctors,” the woman shook her head wildly. “They are snitches and bastards.”

  “Very well, without a doctor, but I don’t know how to mend that.”

  “I’ll tell you how just give me shelter in your barn or something like that,” she murmured.

  “No barns,” Josephine led them towards the back entrance, they walked and Josephine noticed how quietly they move. “My servants know how to keep secrets.”

  “I bet they do,” the woman didn’t resist her lead.

  Belva was alone and cornered. Those damn dogs were undoubtedly following her. It was impossible to shake them off. There was no way to find her way th
rough these unfamiliar woods. She lost all her bearings so she did the only thing she could think of, she went uphill. As long as she’s climbing she at least is sure that she’s not running in circles.

  The damn sun hid behind clouds and there was no way to determine where the south lied.

  The hunt didn’t back down on the steep terrain. It seemed that they are closing in on her. To her despair suddenly she was at the edge of a cliff. It was a long way to fall down, but on the bottom, there was a wide stream.

  In one thing her lady was right. Belva loved life, she adored living. Even in most daring situations, there were things to enjoy in them. Just like the sun which just now decided to show where is west while it was setting behind the horizon.

  Belva hesitated for a moment. She was sure that the only way out of this situation was to dive down and hope that her hands still know how to swim. At that moment she tried to see another path, but there was none.

  The hunt was closing in, the dogs were almost at her. She could clearly hear their voices. Belva caught her breath as she will dive in the water as soon as her feet leave the ground and jumped. She turned in her flight with the intention to fire at those who are hunting her. For a split of a second, she could see the face of her persecutor. She had a chance to fire but she hesitated. He didn’t hesitate. The revolver sounded and she felt the impact of the bullet on her shoulder swaying her fall.

  As she fell Belva was bemused by the pain in her shoulder which distracted her from the fear of the fall. Just before she hit the cold water Belva thought how glad she was that she kissed that woman. It was a warm and nice memory to be your last, but then the cold water sobered her up and she fought to find the surface.

  When she resurfaced she could see Luiz above her and hear his loud orders as shots were fired at the water around her. She just let the stream to carry her down the river out of their sight knowing that the water will wash away her scent.

  She could say to herself that the next time she won’t hesitate, that she’ll shoot first but she would know that is a lie. She could never shoot at Luiz. Despite everything that happened in her mind he was still a small boy that would politely greet her on the street while others would just pass her by.

  She wasn’t even mad at him for firing at her. He did have the right to do so.

  For a while, she just let the stream carry her body letting her tired muscles to rest for a while, but that was a luxury she had no time for. The white waters might be just around the bend and Belva had no desire to drown.

  When she pulled herself to the shore she lied down looking at the stars which were popping out in the sky as small daisies and thought of her options. She was soaking wet and wounded. There was no way she could blend in anywhere like this.

  It was time to try out the hospitality of her lady and her honest offer of shelter. Maybe she will ask something inappropriate from Belva in return, but she didn’t find anything repulsive in an idea of a warm and inviting body. Her body started to shiver from the cold clothes, she had to move.

  It took her the whole night to return to the road, and then a half of a day to walk through the woods beside the road and find a house on the end of it. Belva stared mesmerised at the tall white front with round clean pillars all across its long porch unable to believe that it’s really there.

  Her clothes were already dry, and her wound let out just a small stream of blood, it will close soon. Maybe there’s no need to intrude on her lady and disturb her household. Surely, there’s a husband who wouldn’t be so inviting, and surely there are barracks in which Belva would blend in perfectly.

  Belva stood there feeling deep dark anger. A shelter, surely a shelter among her slaves who made all this fortune possible. It was foolish just to stand there, but Belva couldn’t help herself, she acted foolishly ever since she met that lady.

  They were far too old to act this way, but Belva just stood there leaned on a tree as the sun soared through the sky. She stared at the house knowing that she should at least sneak around and steal some food, but she couldn’t make herself move. Her muscles ached, but, more than that, she was offended by her lady. She called her here just to add to her collection of slaves.

  Was she as friendly to all of them as she was to Belva? From that thought, Belva felt dirty and tricked. The laughter snapped her from her descending thoughts. There she was, her lady, all dressed up in a wide dress covered in red roses. She looked as a courtesan, cheap and fake.

  By her side, there was a girl and untrained eye would mistake her for a daughter, but Belva saw the way the girl looked at her lady and that made Belva feel a deep whirling pool of hate towards her youth and beauty, her creamily white skin. The pistol was on her belt and Belva felt a jolt of desire to lift it up and fire just to scare that girl away.

  Although she didn’t move her lady managed to recognize her in the descending darkness. To Belva’s satisfaction, she sent the girl away.

  “You know,” Belva spoke up first as the girl tried to stall her departure and separation from the lady’s glow, “it could have been a real bandit here.”

  The conversation continued as it was an ordinary thing for her to stand here and wait for her lady to appear. The fatigue was so great that Belva barely managed to stand. That was the only reason she accepted help in walking, but she didn’t mind leaning against her lady. She was sturdier than she appeared in her lavish dress.

  In her exhausted state, Belva noted the kitchen with black tiles and white surfaces. She tried to see the angles for a trap and remember the way to the exit.

  They fled over the huge atrium embraced with two marble stairways. As they walked Belva noticed the floor mosaic made of small black and white tiles cut in triangles. The sight of it was maddening. There was no recognizable order, just random pieces crowded together designed to provoke vertigo.

  She diverted her gaze as the white lady led her up the white marble stairs that were lit with chandeliers.

  Belva wondered why haven’t she took the stairs made of the black marble that was covered in darkness, after all, they led to the same place on the upper floor. Still, she said nothing out loud because she wasn’t alert anymore, it seemed as she will fall asleep on her feet, but when she was faced with lady’s white boudoir she froze. One thing was to have silly thoughts, but completely another to be faced with a big decorated bed with baldachin above it.

  “No,” she said ready to run away back in the darkness. “Not here.”

  Josephine led the woman through the entrance for the servants and through the kitchen. The kitchen was deserted and cleaned after dinner. There was no one in sight. They went up to the stairs and still didn’t meet anyone in the corridors.

  Without any coherent plan, Josephine took the woman to her bedroom. On the door, the woman came to a halt.

  “No,” there was panic in her voice. “Not here.”

  “Yes here,” Josephine pulled them in and closed the door behind them. “This is the most secure room in the house. Only I can open doors for this room.”

  She didn’t mention that she opens doors for midnight visits but the woman saw right through her.

  “So this is a love nest,” she seemed more relaxed now. “You said I won’t be obligated to do anything for shelter.”

  “You won’t,” Josephine said firmly. “It’s safe in here that is all.”

  Josephine took the woman by her arm and pushed her to sit on the edge of her bed.

  “If you want I can send a maid to undress you,” Josephine offered insulted by her suspicion.

  “No,” the woman grabbed Josephine’s lower arm. “It’s best for everyone that no one sees me. The girl is waiting for you by the piano, you should go.”

  “Oh well, let her wait, you can’t deal with this alone.”

  Josephine lit up a candle. The chandelier in her room was never lit. Since no servants were allowed in her room, there was no one to light them, and she preferred the dim light of candles anyway.

  The candles calm
ed her nerves and she was able to turn towards the woman. In silence, Josephine helped her to get out of the top layer of her dress. Just to expose her hand, nothing more. There was no need for her to see more. Anyway, there was a pressing matter of her wound. Josephine was horrified by the sight of her torn skin and visible flesh underneath.

  “It’s not that bad,” the woman said observing the wound. “We’ll need hot water, towels for the cleaning, some alcohol and bandages.”

  Josephine nodded and went to the antechamber. The antechamber was a connection between her and her servants. There she rang the bell and ordered bandages and brandy not feeling the need to explain herself. She was used to asking things which were strange to others.

  As usual, maids complied and soon everything was on the table in the antechamber but they came in a pair to protect each other from Josephine’s whims. The new maids, Tricia and Cynthia, learned quickly what to fear. They ran away quickly while their white uniforms waved behind them. Usually, Josephine would be entertained by their swift exit but now she barely noticed the way their white skirts revealed their ankles. Josephine took the supplies to the woman in her boudoir.

  “Servants really are not entering this room?” she was surprised.

  “Well, for keeping secrets it is best that no one actually see you do what everyone suspects you to do,” Josephine dipped the towel in the hot water and started to clean her wound.

  Instead of crying the woman looked around examining her surroundings.

  “This looks like an ordinary room,” she said suspiciously.

  “Because it is an ordinary room, most of the time. What now?” the wound looked clean from the dirt, the blood was fresh and red.

  “The brandy,” the woman pointed at the bottle.

  Josephine hesitated. It was silly really, but she didn’t want to cause pain.

  “Come on,” the woman encouraged her.