Darkest Pattern- The Door

by Riva Zmajoki

  Luiz wasn’t sure will he be recognized by the beautiful mirage but as soon as their eyes met it was like time hasn’t passed between them.

  They were alone in the big dark room full of empty white beds lit by the yellow light of the lamps overhead.

  “In the morning,” Luiz spoke up, “all of these beds will be full. They talk of the big battle out there. I won’t last till then. Just my luck to be stuck in bed. How much sweeter would it be to die in battle.”

  “Then you would miss me,” Evan said quietly.

  “I did miss you,” Luiz sighed looking down and frowning at the bloody bandage on Evan’s stomach. “You don’t look well either.”

  “Francis shot me. I went to say hello and he shot me claiming that I was his slave.”

  “I’m sorry about that,” Luiz frowned. “He was always hasty like our father,” Luiz thought how nice it was that they ended up on the same side of death.

  “Was it hasty of him to come to buy me,” Evan leaned in his face. “Or was it your bidding? Did you ask him for a personal slave? I did love you but that didn’t mean that you can own me.”

  “I didn’t know,” Luiz closed his eyes. “Francis told him that he saw us on the riverbank that last day. All I knew was that my father came back dead and that your mother killed him,” he opened his eyes and all the anger and sorrow could be seen in Evan’s dark eyes. “Now I know that it all happened because of what we did.”

  Luiz felt like he’s crumbling inside. All the walls he built up were failing him now and he felt like he’ll fall deep in the black abyss of death, away from the light that was Evan.

  “No,” Evan shook his head and grabbed his hand, the contact shocked Luiz. “He tried to buy me and she stopped him. That’s why he died. It’s not because of what we did. Love can’t be wrong.”

  With that, he kissed Luiz fiercely and Luiz kissed him back.

  The kiss brought Luiz back to reality. That was really Evan before him. He came back to claim Luiz. He felt how life is returning to his limbs and he lifted his hand to Evan’s hair.

  Then he felt how Evan is losing his strength, his limbs went limp.

  “Nurse!” Luiz shouted. “Where is that damn nurse?” Santos ran in. “What kind of a son are you? To bring your father to the hospital and let him bleed out? Nurse!”

  The nurse finally came in.

  “We don’t treat his kind here,” she said defiantly. “There is another building for him.”

  “I’ll show you another building,” Luiz pulled the pistol from Evan’s belt.

  ‘Love can’t be wrong,’ looked at him from the barrel.

  “Put him on the bed beside me and call upon the doctor or I’ll burn this whole hospital down. Where will you be a tyrant then?”

  The nurse lifted her nose but instructed others to listen to him. When the doctor came in, Luiz didn’t let him take Evan from his side. There was no way of losing sight of him.

  “His back,” said Santos and they turned him around.

  Luiz frowned looking at the inflamed wounds from the whip. He tried to sit upright but was too weak. Santos helped him up.

  “Who did this to him?” Luiz was angry.

  “You were right. I found him in barracks, they caught him.”

  Watching at the traces of the whip Luiz was angry at himself. Angry that he didn’t do more. Angry that the shadow of his father kept him prisoner for so long.

  When the doctor was done, Luiz felt fatigued. He feared that if he sleeps he’ll die in his sleep. He didn’t want to die before Evan wakes up. Soon, he was so tired that he feared that he’ll die if he doesn’t sleep.

  “Keep guard,” he said to Santos. “Don’t let them take him away from me,” he said and grabbed the rail of Evan’s bed before falling asleep.

  THE FINAL DESTINATION

  When you reach your goal remember what took you there. Sacrifices and risks of many men and women who believe in a just system.

  For them, not for the oppressors, keep your head high and do yours does with care and respect.

  In your freedom, never forget the fight that took us to get there.

  Think of us that fought the good fight and keep a lookout for the fights yet to come.

  XIII. The War is for the Dead

  06/25/1861

  Dear Josephine,

  The war is upon us and I fear all good men will die in it.

  Your letter took a long way around to reach me because I moved a few times since we last met.

  I’m not sure will my letter reach you because I heard that your old home is in ruins now.

  I’m writing anyway hoping that my words will reach you because I feel that my words might mean something to you to lift your broken spirit.

  On the battlefield, the broken souls roam around without purpose often stuck not even sure that they died from a sudden bullet.

  It’s important to say your goodbyes before you go. I think I’m going now.

  Every day I grow weaker. My limbs are tired and my face is just a ruin of what used to be.

  If your letter reached me sooner, it would probably catch me in some righteous moment where I would scorn you from afar not appreciating the great gift of life we both shared.

  Now, while my body is decaying, I’m grateful for your letter. It reminded me of days full of sunshine and laughter.

  Even if I experienced some unpleasantness around you it wasn’t your doing.

  You were always a lady for me and I’ll always love you as such. I send you my blessings. May your life be a joyful one and let your old days be filled with glee.

  Forever yours, Deirdre.

  13.0 Just a Door

  When Josephine came in that day, she looked like she was crying. Sometimes she would cry for different things but she would never try to hide her tears. The attempt to lift up a smile and hide the pain alarmed Belva.

  “What happened?” Belva turned the sign on their shop to close and led Josephine upstairs.

  “Nothing,” Josephine used one of her most frivolous of smiles and Belva just knew something is very wrong.

  “Sit down and tell me,” she pushed her in the chair and sat across from her.

  “No, why would I?” Josephine fidgeted with her bow. “Can’t I have some secrets of my own?”

  “No, we have enough secrets before the world. If we start to have secrets before each other, we’re done,” Belva said seriously.

  “You’ll hate me afterwards,” Josephine’s face crumpled.

  Belva kneeled before her.

  “I could never hate you,” she caressed her hair.

  “Everyone can be hated, me especially,” she shook her head. “And I’ve enjoyed this house, this life so much.”

  “Don’t do this,” Belva grabbed her shoulders. “You’re killing me with suspension. When it turns out that the store ran out of your favourite food, I’ll really hate you.”

  “I wish,” Josephine said.

  Josephine was walking the market in a really good mood when a familiar voice startled her.

  “Imagine my luck to see you here,” Tomassa said to her ear and Josephine flinched away from her face. “The universe must love me.”

  “No,” Josephine said frightened by her cruel face. “We don’t know each other anymore. You chose that other path. Leave me alone.”

  “Don’t be like that, my dear,” Tomassa touched her shoulder and Josephine swayed to remove her hand. “After all the nice things we did to each other. I deserve at least a decent hello. Come,” she grabbed her under her arm and pulled. “We’ll talk in private. You don’t want to make a scene here, so you. If you do I can shout quite loudly and be very vulgar.”

  Josephine saw no other exit so she followed her.

  Tomassa led her up the narrow stairs and into the crowded room full of papers. She sat behind the table and gestured to Josephine to sit down.

  “You see, I’m a businesswoman now,” Tomassa entwined her hands before her chin. “I have a business prop
osition for you. No, let’s be honest I have a demand and you’ll comply. You’re so good at complying that I don’t think it’ll pose a problem.”

  “I don’t want to do any business with you,” Josephine jumped up.

  “Sit down. This one you’ll like,” Tomassa smiled at her. “It’s just down your alley. You see, I have here a house full of girls. They are a bit tired of war. We fled from it. It was more dangerous than profitable and totally unpredictable where the next battle will be. Those boys did not want to share their beans with me. It would be so different if Carol was there with me.”

  Josephine felt a sting from mentioning his name.

  “A house full of girls?” Josephine said with disgust. “You mean to tell me that you run a whore house.”

  “Don’t be so crude,” Tomassa said gently. “They are just fallen women, not much different than you and me. They just hadn’t had the luck to encounter the right people. It shouldn’t be a problem for you, with your expertise to bring comfort to those girls. To encourage them to perform better.”

  “I would rather die than help you exploit those girls and their trouble,” Josephine sneered at her. “For what, for men to be wicked and cruel?”

  “Don’t be like that. I can arrange for you to die. In fact, when I noticed you I took the liberty to follow you around. I know your secrets. That dark candy of yours can just disappear one day. That wouldn’t be nice, would it?”

  “You wouldn’t dare,” Josephine was terrified.

  “Wouldn’t I?” Tomassa purred. “But don’t be like that. In a sense, you owe me. That Carol of yours came in and just abandoned me taking away some of my girls. I consider you fit to pay off his debt to me.”

  “Never,” Josephine withdrew towards the door.

  “Go home and think about it,” Tomassa said calmly. “When you calm down, you’ll see that I’m just thinking of your best interest. All I’m offering you is some new flavours. Life will be less dull and money will come in handy to both of us.”

  Josephine grabbed the knob.

  “Just don’t try to run,” Tomassa said firmly. “It’s such a dull business but someone is watching your house. If you try to leave you will be killed.”

  Belva listened to her story seriously.

  “Alright, let’s go and visit that ‘friend’ of yours,” she got up.

  “No, never,” Josephine grabbed her hand. “I’ll rather die than go there again. Let’s run. She’s just bluffing about the man, there is no one watching the house.”

  “Probably,” Belva admitted. “If she just got here and still has no protection, there is no money to spare on goons she can trust.”

  “Then let’s go,” Josephine pulled her hand.

  “Where?” Belva asked her and Josephine stopped.

  “You spent all of your money on this shop. We live off our work now. How will we start anew if we leave all our possessions behind? Besides, who says that in the new town someone else, maybe even more vicious turns up? No, we have to make a stand. This is our home now and we won’t be chased away.”

  “But she’ll make me… I can’t…” Josephine was distraught.

  Belva smiled and hugged her.

  “Do you trust me?” Belva asked quietly.

  “I do more than anyone,” Josephine was shaking under her palms. “But if she makes me I’ll just die. There are some things even I can’t survive. The secret of my revival is in purity. If I know that I did right in my heart, then no guilt or prosecution can touch me. Then I know they are wrong and not me.”

  “Would I ever trade you?” Belva cupped her face and smiled gently. “When the time comes to die I’ll die with you rather than watch you be destroyed. But I don’t think that moment is now. Will you trust me with this?”

  Josephine nodded still shaken.

  “Just follow my lead and try not to talk, alright sweetheart?” Belva smiled at her gently and Josephine relaxed a bit. “Let’s go.”

  “Right now?” Josephine stood her ground. “Why now?”

  “There’s no time like the present,” Belva pulled her and she let her. “Besides, we don’t want to give her time to think and recruit reinforcements.”

  Josephine followed Belva up the same narrow stairs and felt trepidation. The only thing that kept her going was Belva who strode forward.

  Belva entered the small office and looked around ignoring the woman who looked at them with a smile.

  “Sit down,” Belva said to Josephine pushing her into the chair. “Don’t annoy me.”

  Josephine sat down looking at her confused.

  “Don’t give me that look,” Belva said firmly. “I have a business to attend to here.”

  “I’m glad that there is someone reasonable handling Josephine. On her own, she’s just a mess of impulses, a woman in a true sense of the word. She would get lost in a second.”

  Belva turned towards Tomassa and just stared at her for a few moments. Tomassa lifted her fine eyebrow in a challenge.

  “So, we understand each other?” she spoke up first.

  Belva smiled and pulled out her pistol.

  ‘Love can’t be wrong,’ looked at her from the barrel.

  Josephine sighed as Belva targeted the pistol at Tomassa.

  Tomassa frowned pulling out her Dragoon revolver.

  “I think mine is bigger,” she said calmly. “If you shoot me here you and your darling would just hang, nothing more. What’s the use of that?”

  “The use is,” Belva smiled at her, “a show of power. I will kill you if you ever approach my lady in any way. Even if you kill me now someone will come in the night and avenge me because we are protected, unlike you.”

  “Who would protect you?” Tomassa snorted. “No one is stupid enough to risk their lives for dead people. Dead are dead.”

  “Not for those who love,” Belva said calmly still holding her pistol. “Who loves you enough to protect you even when you’re not there to force protection out of them?”

  “You’re silly,” Tomassa lowered her gun. “You won’t fire.”

  “No, I won’t,” Belva put away her pistol. “That was just a show of power. If you observed our home, you must have noticed all the dark-skinned tall men coming in and out. We have our network and it would be in your best interest to stay away from us.”

  “Hollow threats,” Tomassa wasn’t impressed but was cautious. “I can destroy you two with few whispered words. I don’t have to use a gun.”

  “True but that gun fires both ways.”

  “I have no reputation to defend,” Tomassa laughed.

  “Girls with flees, strange diseases and knives under their pillows have a strange effect on male imagination.”

  Tomassa got angry.

  “You’re a foul woman,” she shouted.

  “Yes, and you’re too accustomed to submissive women to remember that you can be hurt,” Belva said calmly. “I don’t ask much from life but this woman here is mine to dispose of. I won’t share her with anyone. Do you understand that? I’ll rather kill her and whoever touches her skirt than let her live.”

  Tomassa leaned back in her chair.

  “That I can understand,” she said. “Maybe I should have asked you to do business with me. She was always a weak woman at the mercy of her men.”

  “I’m glad that we understand each other,” Belva sat in the chair. “Now, considering the debt our departed servant did against you. I wouldn’t feel comfortable having a woman of your stature walking around thinking that I cut her off. I want to settle that debt for my lady.”

  “Are you mad?” Josephine finally burst out when they were in the safety of their own home.

  “What?” Belva seemed surprised by her reaction.

  “How do you mean what? To invite those girls to come into our space, to make dresses for them to do their business better? Are you mad? I won’t take part in this madness.”

  “Hey,” Belva grabbed her hand. “Remember, they are just like you and me, fallen women.
It’s not their fault that they are there, that they didn’t have anyone to pick them up.”

  “I know, but Tomassa…”

  “They are not like her. Some of them are but most of them are just doing what they can to stay alive.”

  “I know, but to help them do it. Help her make money out of their misery,” Josephine was desperate.

  “I do love you,” Belva said gently and cupped her face. “You are the most beautiful person I know and I will love you forever and longer.”

  “What came over you?” Josephine was shocked with that direct confession. “Don’t use that to distract me, it won’t work, although it is nice to hear.”

  “I’m not using it to distract you, I just love you.”

  “Alright, but those girls, and dresses for their work… I can’t be a part of it.”

  “You can,” Belva said firmly. “And you will.”

  “You can’t make me. You’re not really my handler.”

  “No, but think about it. I asked the girls to come in and work on their dresses. We’ll give them the dresses and fabrics for free, all they have to do and work some for us in the mornings.”

  “I know that,” Josephine was offended. “I was there.”

  “How do you free a slave?” Belva changed direction.

  “You get him out of the plantation,” Josephine frowned.

  “No,” Belva shook her head. “It’s never enough to get them out of the plantation, then we would just open the door and run. You have to find them a new home, you have to give them purpose, more importantly, you have to find them work, and some skill to live off or you just made someone die out of starvation on a strange place.”

  Josephine started to understand.

  “You have a plan,” Josephine said feeling the knot untying in her chest.

  “The war is raging. I think we will win. There are no new slaves coming up our railroad. We can make a new one, for girls to run to freedom. If we teach them a skill, give them an address where our recommendation will mean something they might have a chance.”

  “We can save them all,” Josephine got hopeful.