Guardian

by Marnie Leighton

   He stared at the horizon while my mind raced. ‘Could we bind your leader? Is there something we could use?’

  ‘I don’t know. I heard something a long time ago, but…’ He cut himself short.

  ‘Tell me.’

  ‘The sword of St Michael,’ he mumbled.

  ‘St Michael? As in Archangel Michael, who drove the fallen angels from heaven?’

   He nodded. ‘I guess so.’

   My heart leaped, as I remembered sitting in church as a child, listening to a priest reading from the Book of Revelations. The War of Light and Darkness was always my favorite bible story. With the dragon, the fallen angels and a heavenly battle—it was so much more interesting than any of the other readings. Never in my wildest dreams had I believed it could be true, but then again, here I stood an angel—I had to accept that anything was possible.

  ‘I remember the dark one who claimed me talking about it,’ Aydin added quietly, pulling me from my thoughts. ‘He was angry with our leader and he said if he wielded the sword of St Michael then he could control the soul of Beloar. It was a strange comment because our leader’s name is Joel, but I’m sure he was referring to him.’

  I processed what he was saying, and I knew what I had to do. ‘I have to go back and see Isaac,’ I said.

  Aydin looked at me warily. ‘Isaac?’

  ‘He was, is, my guardian.’

  Aydin’s eyes narrowed. ‘It was just a story Callie, it changes nothing. Even if it were true and we could bind Joel to something, what do we do with him then?’

  ‘What if we...’

  ‘No Callie,’ he interrupted. ‘This will not happen.’

  The volume of his voice startled me, and I fought to stay still. I felt his fear and anger, but I wasn’t backing down. ‘There is no harm in just talking to Isaac,’ I persisted.

  The muscles in his jaw bulged. ‘But you won’t just talk, will you?’

  I wanted to explain, to reason with him, and calm him down, but I didn’t have time. ‘I’m sorry Aydin I have to do this.’

   I turned away, intent on changing into spirit form. But before I could, I felt a vice like grip on my arm. I spun back, stunned that he was touching me. He was so close, his eyes shut and his teeth bared, as though he was in horrible pain.

  ‘Please Aydin let me go,’ I begged, struggling to break free.

  He cried out but didn’t release me. ‘I won’t let you do this,’ he said through gritted teeth.

  I had to stop this, I couldn’t stand it, it was as though the touch of my skin was burning him. ‘I’ll stay,’ I yelled. ‘Let go. Please Aydin, I won’t leave.’

  He released my arm and stumbled backwards. Doubling over, he leaned his hands on his knees. I covered my mouth with my hand—touching me had been so easy when he planned to kill me, now it nearly broke him.

  After a while he straightened, but pain still dulled his eyes. He looked down at his hand. ‘I finally have a reason to live,’ he whispered. ‘If anything ever happened to you…’ He looked up. ‘We will keep moving. Make sure they don’t find us. I can change, I know I can. Just please, don’t do this.’

   It was a heart-felt plea, and I desperately wanted to believe it was possible, but even if he could change, the trackers would still come. I didn’t want to spend our lives running. He looked exhausted, his eyes pleaded for me to agree. I had to reassure him even if it only just bought some time.

  I smiled softly. ‘You said something once, in the life when we first met. You said you’d follow me to the ends of the Earth if I asked it of you. So now I’m asking, but I don’t want you to follow…I want you to walk beside me.’

   The suggestion of a smile brought a glow back to his face. I knew he needed to hear this, and it was the truth. I did want him beside me, forever if that was possible—but if leaving him behind meant saving him, then I would also do this too.

  That night as Aydin went for a quick walk before bed, I wandered around the church looking for distractions. Behind the altar a pile of books sat neatly in the corner, and I picked up the hymnbook on top. Instantly I felt the memories attached to the book, and I listened in amusement as each page revealed the sound of a hymn being sung by past congregations.

  I chuckled and went to put it back but then I saw the cover of the next book. It was a modern religious journal, boasting an article on recently discovered religious scrolls that’d been translated into English.

  Vaguely interested, I picked it up and flicked to the article—a single word caught my attention and I gasped in surprise. The sound of the door opening made me slam the book shut. I looked up to see Aydin had returned.

  He saw me at the back of the church. ‘Everything okay?’ he asked.

  ‘I’m fine. Just looking at these old magazines,’ I said brightly, holding the book up.

  He smirked. ‘Anything worth reading?’

  ‘There’s an article on the best ways to keep your rosary beads clean.’

  His laugh filled the church. I smiled hoping he wouldn’t notice how much my hands were trembling. He stripped down to just his boxer shorts and hopped into bed. My mouth watered at the brief glimpse of his bare chest.

  ‘Perhaps I should read it to help me go to sleep,’ he added.

  ‘No way am I letting your read this first,’ I replied, trying to not sound like I meant it.

  He propped his head up as I walked over and sat in my chair. ‘Are you sure you’re comfortable?’ he asked.

  ‘Absolutely,’ I assured. ‘Now go to sleep so I can read my magazine.’

  He gave me a half smile. ‘Good night then, I look forward to hearing about rosary bead cleaning in the morning.’

  He rolled over before I could answer and I sat there with a forced smile. My hands were tight on the rolled-up magazine, as I waited for him to drift off.

  Once I was sure he was asleep, I allowed myself to open the journal. I found the article again and brought it close to my face. My only source of light was a single candle, and the soft yellow glow made the old pages hard to read.

  My eyes skimmed the words searching for the one that’d stolen my attention before, and there it was again. I hadn’t imagined it, right there in black and white, was the same name Aydin had mentioned earlier today—Beloar. I quickly read the passage.

  ‘In the time of darkness he, known as Beloar, ruled in the realms of the demons. A cursed angel of hostility, he sat astride the Earth bringing wickedness and destruction. Those who spoke his name were condemned to fire. Those who looked upon him were blinded for eternity.’

  A shiver ran down my spine as I read. I couldn’t believe I’d found this name, surely this meant something. I was beginning to believe there was no such thing as coincidence. This small, unassuming book had cemented my determination.

   The sound of Aydin moving made me jam the magazine down next to my leg. He’d rolled on to his side, and I was surprised to see him watching.

  ‘I thought you were asleep,’ I said softly.

  He half sat up. ‘I feel bad that you sit in that chair all night.’

  ‘I’m okay,’ I replied. ‘Honestly.’

  His gaze intensified. ‘Do you think…you would be more comfortable, lying next to me?’ he whispered.

  A wild fluttering surged into my stomach, and I felt dangerously close to fainting. I had to remind myself how to breathe. ‘That would be nice.’

  He shuffled to the far side of the bed. I stood and walked over, but I paused to look at the mattress, worried about how hard this would be for him.

  ‘Is it your wings?’ he asked gently.

  ‘Sorry?’ I replied, not sure what he was talking about.

  ‘Do they make it hard to lie down?’

  ‘Oh,’ I said realizing that he thought that was why I was hesitating. ‘No, my wings don’t stop me from lying down.’

   He sat on the edge of the bed and tilted his head. ‘Can I see them?’

   I frowned in confusion. ‘I thought you already c
ould, you knew I didn’t have them in the alley.’

   He shook his head. ‘I could sense you were an angel, but we can’t see your wings unless you fly. Because you didn’t, I just assumed you’d lost yours.’

  ‘You called me a fallen star.’

  ‘That is what we call angels who have fallen, but aren’t leaders.’

  ‘There are others?’

  ‘I’ve never seen any others. But you have yours back now, don’t you? You flew in the building, when you grabbed me just before the explosion. But I didn’t see them because I was…’ He trailed off as a strong sense of sadness dropped his gaze.

  I hated seeing his pain return. Stepping back, I extended my wings. The spontaneous glow that accompanied them burst outwards, outshining the candles. I rose gracefully into the air, easing free of the ground. His sadness dissipated, and he stared intently; his expression was impossible to read.

   A little concerned, and not wanting to tempt his lust, I lowered to the floor. I quickly withdrew my wings, drawing the glow back into my body. I smiled awkwardly, but he didn’t respond. He stayed motionless and all I could hear was my heart pounding. Suddenly he leaped from the bed. I wanted to run, but something held me still. He stopped, close enough for me to feel the heat radiating off his bare chest. I didn’t know what he was doing but then his eyes locked on mine, and all I could think about was the night in the stables. It was the only other time he’d looked at me this way.

  His hand lifted and my heart sank. It drifted upwards, and I felt my chin shaking. Seeing me as an angel had been too much, his desire had finally won. His palm paused over my chest and I closed my eyes, not wanting him to see the fear. If this was it, then so be it, without him there was nothing left to live for anyway. I waited but nothing happened. Then I felt it, his fingertips on my cheek.

  I opened my eyes; his face was all I could see. He looked calm—there was no pain, no battle tearing at him. Overwhelmed, an unexpected tear trickled down my cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb and his dark eyes lingered on my mouth. He tilted his head slightly; I moistened my lips and leaned forward. His hand shifted to the base of my neck, and my desire exploded with his touch. I tried to kiss him, but he held me back. I couldn’t breathe, the need to taste him was all-consuming. I could see every pore, every twitch of his eyes as they ran over my face, but he didn’t relent. My body rioted and my legs ached as I tried to move closer. His hands fell to my wrists, and he pushed my arms behind my back. I tried to free myself but he held me, keeping the smallest distance between us—it was delicious agony. I breathed in as he exhaled.

  He looked into the depths of me. ‘I think I remember how to love,’ he whispered.

  My needs subsided and suddenly I realized our bond went beyond the physical. It was like the noise had been lifted and I could feel his soul entwined with mine. It was more beautiful, more inspiring than any kiss.

  He released my arms, took my hand and led me to the bed. I lay down and his fingers slipped from mine. He went to the other side and lay down, but I no longer felt the distance between us, because it no longer mattered.

  ‘Now make sure you stay there my beautiful angel,’ he whispered, and I understood the double meaning in his words. I smiled as both the last candle and his eyelids faltered.

  After a while I shut my eyes too, allowing myself to join him. I hoped the darkness would bring us both dreams and not nightmares.

  As I drifted off, the unpredictable images soon seeped in, organizing themselves into a scene from countless years before. I was standing outside the church, wearing my wedding dress while Bradley waited inside. I could feel the heat of my father’s arm as he urged me to move, but I pulled against him turning towards the cliff, frantically searching for Aydin. He wasn’t there, and again I felt the tug as I struggled to break free. I wanted more time to search, but the music started and my father pulled me inside, slamming the door behind us. Walking down the aisle I could smell the flowers, see the beaming faces, and there was Bradley standing at the altar with his back to me. I tried to stop, to tell my father I had to go back, but I had no voice and he wouldn’t even glance at me.

  We reached the altar and my stomach rolled. I wanted to cry, I couldn’t do this again—not to Bradley, not to me. I watched as he turned and my legs went numb, but it wasn’t Bradley I saw. In front of me, in an elegant black suit, stood Aydin, looking exactly as I’d known him in that life. He was so handsome, his eyes perfectly calm. Without thinking, I reached up to touch him, but as my fingertips brushed his skin, the image dissolved. But I didn’t mind—I knew I could dream again.

  Chapter 20

  The soft morning light lit the interior of the church, and I rolled over to see Aydin still fast asleep. He looked peaceful enough, but I climbed out of bed and sat in my chair, afraid that he might react like he had the previous morning.

  After a while, his eyes opened, and he looked confused. I tensed but after a few rapid blinks, his concern faded. His head rolled towards me, and I held my breath waiting to see what happened. His lips tightened, relaxed and then slipped into a smile. I was so happy I wanted to laugh.

  ‘Good morning my angel,’ he said huskily.

  ‘Morning yourself,’ I replied. He sat up his shoulders cracking as he stretched. He rubbed one of them and looked at me sleepily. ‘Breakfast?’ I offered.

  ‘That would be lovely,’ he replied, his smile faltering.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.

  He ran a hand through his perfectly mussed hair. ‘I just wish I could bring you breakfast in bed sometime.’

  A shy grin was the only reply I could manage.

  After eating Aydin left for the river again. I wandered around the church opening the windows as I waited for his return. The smell of wildflowers, floating on the morning air, brought my happy dream back. I put my hand to my throat, over the same skin he had touched the day before. For just a moment I felt wonderful, hopeful, but I knew it was only temporary and I still had to find a way to visit Isaac.

  Looking through the window, I caught sight of Aydin returning. I’d created him a towel today, but I was rather pleased to see he wore only pants again. His wet hair and brown skin glimmered, and he shot me a dazzling grin. His new aura of contentment made him look years younger. I rested my forearms on the sill and leaned out, feeling a little like Romeo and Juliet.

  ‘So what are we up to today, my Lady Callie?’ he asked, rubbing his hair with the towel as he looked up at me.

  I inhaled sharply. ‘What did you call me?’

  He let the towel drop. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.’

  ‘No, no, you didn’t upset me,’ I replied. He looked bewildered. ‘It’s just, you used to call me that, in our last life together.’

  ‘Oh,’ he replied looking relieved.

  ‘I wonder if you’re getting some of your memories back,’ I added.

   His cheeky grin returned. ‘If they are memories of you, then I would gladly have them all back.’ I frowned, to help repress the desire to giggle like a schoolgirl. ‘So,’ he continued, slipping on his shirt. ‘What fun do you have in store for us?’

  I didn’t want to ruin his mood, but I knew I had to be honest about what I’d discovered the night before. I sighed heavily. ‘Perhaps you should come inside, there’s something I need to show you.’

  We stood together at the altar his gaze fixed on the journal article I’d read the night before.

  ‘This means nothing, it’s just a coincidence,’ he finally muttered.

  ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’

  He looked at me sadly. ‘Then what do you think it means?’

  ‘I think it’s a sign.’ His eyes returned to the magazine he held. ‘I want to go see Isaac,’ I added quickly.

  He frowned but didn’t look up. ‘I thought we discussed this.’

  ‘We did, but he can help us. He was the one who told me about consecrated ground, maybe he can tell me how to avoid the trackers.’ />
  His frown intensified. ‘So you will not ask about destroying my leader?’

  ‘No,’ I lied, assuring myself that I was doing this for us.

  He looked at me long and hard. ‘You promise?’

  ‘I promise,’ I said lightly, hoping he would forgive me.

  He stared a moment longer. ‘Nothing I say will stop you, will it?’

  I shook my head. He threw the journal down and walked away. I watched as the door shut leaving me alone in the church.

  ‘I’ll see you soon,’ I whispered to the ghost of his presence, desperately hoping I was making the right choice.

  I soon felt the sand beneath my feet. It was colder and darker than ever. I glanced around, blinded by the darkness—my water still emitted a soft glow, but it had become unnaturally still, like a lake trapped in the depths of a cave.

  ‘Hello, Callie.’

  The voice came from below, and I looked down to see Isaac sitting on the sand. I crouched down. ‘Are you okay Isaac?’ I asked. ‘Why are you on the ground?’

  ‘I tire quickly these days,’ he replied. ‘How are you?’

  I sat beside him. ‘I’m good,’ I answered without thinking.

  He glanced sideways. ‘Are you really?’

  ‘Probably not,’ I confessed, trying to decipher the details of his face in the darkness. ‘But I’m past the point of turning back.’

  His focus returned to the ocean. ‘You have made extraordinary progress with Aydin.’

  The somber reply brought a wave of remorse. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you.’

  His mouth barely moved. ‘I am not hurt, just worried.’

  ‘But surely you can see that Aydin will never harm me.’

  ‘Maybe,’ he replied. ‘So how can I help you?’

  I hesitated, I wanted to convince him he shouldn’t worry, but my desire to stay focused drove me forward. ‘I wanted to talk to you about the demon Beloar.’