Excuse Me

by Rosanne J Thomas

  LinkedIn

  A LinkedIn user recently garnered an extraordinary number of comments when she posted a picture of herself in a bikini, admittedly and purposely to gain attention. It worked, but judging from many of the comments, not in an entirely favorable way.

  LinkedIn is a business-oriented social networking website for professional summaries, industry-related groups, networking events, and career marketing. It also has messaging functions that allow users to post status updates and to share or like content posted by others. As of August 2016, LinkedIn had 450 million members worldwide.11 In June 2016, Microsoft acquired LinkedIn for $26.2 billion. Said Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, “Think about it: how people find jobs, build skills, sell, market, and get work done and ultimately find success requires a connected professional world.”

  While there are now networking sites that cater to professionals of all stripes and at all stages of their careers, LinkedIn is still very much the premier destination. With newer features that seem to have a distinct social slant to them, many users are beginning to lament what they consider the “Facebookification” of LinkedIn. An increasing number of nonbusiness-related posts including the sharing of personal stories, political views, and even one’s availability for dating are putting the site’s professional status at risk.

  Some see this evolution as a sign of the times, a reflection of the melding of personal and professional lives, and not necessarily a bad thing. Why wouldn’t individuals want to take full advantage of their entire networks? As features of the largest social media sites become more commonly shared and the major sites themselves increasingly indistinguishable, this cross-pollination may indeed be the way of the future. But for now, most feel drawing a distinction between how personal and professional sites are used is a good thing.

  To protect the value and integrity of your relationships on LinkedIn, most say to connect only with people you have actually met. Others say it’s okay to connect with people you do not actually know if you have other people in common or share professional interests. If you do not know someone personally, request an introduction or explain who you are and why you want to connect. Referencing that you heard someone speak, or read and enjoy her blog, or share an alma mater may just garner you a new connection.

  BEST PRACTICES

  Take advantage of vanity URLs. They are easier to remember and more personal. Write a professional summary/bio. Be honest on your profile. Former colleagues and bosses will note embellishments and inconsistencies. Complete your LinkedIn page, and update it regularly. An old or abandoned page raises red flags.

  Ask for recommendations only of people who are familiar with you and your work. Reciprocate recommendations whenever possible. Endorse others for their skills as you see fit and thank others for their endorsements.

  Accept invitations promptly. Unless you have a good reason not to accept an invitation (you do not know someone, or you do—but think he would not reflect well upon you), accept an invitation when it is received.

  Join groups and associations to harness the expertise of your fellow LinkedIn members. Be sure to read and then follow the group’s rules. You can certainly start your own group but make sure you are able to commit to it.

  Avoid excessive self-promotion. Examples include using groups or associations to promote your services or content or posing a problem and then answering it with a promotion of you or your company.

  Twitter

  Susie Poppick of Money shared a story about a city clerk in California’s Bay Area who she said was asked to resign for “allegedly tweeting during council meetings when she was supposed to be taking down meeting minutes.” The woman resigned, writing in her letter that it was a “mind-numbingly inane experience I would not wish upon anyone.”12

  Twitter is a social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read messages known as “tweets.” Tweets are text-based posts limited to 140 characters displayed on the author’s profile page and delivered to the author’s subscribers, who are known as followers. Other Twitter users may also view tweets unless the author specifically elects to limit dissemination of tweets to followers only. As of June 2016, Twitter users could also post 140-second videos.

  Twitter is different from other social media in that there is no acceptance process for followers of your feed. It is possible to protect your tweets, but that will limit the business and networking benefits you seek. Some people argue that you should follow everyone who follows you and use lists to keep track of those you truly care to follow. You are under no obligation to follow someone who tweets content that is of no interest to you or is obviously self-promotional, regardless of whether they follow you or not.

  Esta Singer offers her perspective on the importance of this site to professionals: “Twitter is akin to a worldwide social gathering. You’re meeting and mingling among people you know, have met, or will meet. You’re having conversations, and sharing ideas or information you think could benefit others. Most importantly, you are building relationships. Be authentic. Be transparent.” She adds, “There is an etiquette to Twitter most of us have already learned: extend a virtual hand, offer something of value, say ‘thank you’ when someone shares or re-tweets your tweet. While the Twittersphere is ever-expanding and endless, always be mindful, it is not about the quantity of followers you amass, it’s about the quality of connections you create.”

  BEST PRACTICES

  Remember this is a two-way personal communication tool. Add more value than you request. Social media guru Chris Brogan offers this guideline: “Promote other people 12 times to every 1 self-promotional tweet.”13 Don’t ask for re-tweets. Contribute relevant and interesting content and it will be re-tweeted.

  Create a list of Twitter accounts you truly care about. Too many, and it’s hard to keep up. Make sure your bio is complete with a photo, full description, and link to further information about you. An incomplete bio is a sign of a spammer.

  Keep Twitter exchanges brief, not more than three each way. After that, use a more practical means for communicating, such as email or telephone. Use the @ symbol for talking directly to individuals in moderation. Following long @ exchanges can quickly become tedious for the others not involved in the exchange.

  Use the hashtag (#) sign to make content, conversations, and trends searchable. Long a staple on Twitter, it is used to categorize subjects, find related content, and gain wider audiences. The hashtag has been criticized for its overuse and, as such, should be used thoughtfully. This means not overloading posts so the subject itself is indecipherable and not using long, cryptic hashtags.

  Be extremely careful of the messages you post. If you must address a private matter, do so via direct message (DM), not in front of your entire Twitter audience.

  Summary

  As you traverse the ever changing, tricky terrain of social media, commit to learning as much as you can about the unique characteristics of the various sites. Do take the social media plunge even at the risk of making mistakes. Keeping in mind the basics of authenticity, transparency, respect, and relevancy will keep you on the right track.

  REMEMBER

  Social media has changed the world. Engage in ways that favorably burnish your brand, and you will be considered credible, competent, and current. Be consistent on platforms.

  Digital footprints are forever. Personal reputations and company brands are at risk through social media misuse. Take precautions to mitigate these risks.

  Social media benefits are incalculable. It’s a matter of making the decision to join the online conversation.

  chapter 8

  business dining

  Observing the Formalities

  “If you ever have to choose between ‘advanced accounting for overachievers’ or ‘remedial knife and fork,’ head for the silverware.”

  —HARVEY MACKAY,

  author of Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive

  For a month, Miguel had been planning what h
e hoped would be the perfect visit to Boston for his biggest client and his wife. He arranged for them to be picked up in a limousine at the airport and whisked off to the exclusive Boston Harbor Hotel, to a luxury suite with a view overlooking the Boston skyline. Knowing his client loved lobster, Miguel made reservations for the best table at the famous Legal Harborside on Boston’s waterfront. To cap off the evening, Miguel arranged for a private harbor cruise.

  Miguel planned their next day with the same meticulous attention to detail. He knew his client’s wife loved Asian art and arranged for a private docent tour of the Asian art collection at the Museum of Fine Arts. Afterwards, they made their way to historic Fenway Park for a Red Sox game. The special day ended with a late dinner at Mistral and a box of Montecristo #2 cigars for his cigar-loving client.

  Miguel’s preparation paid off. Everything came together to create an impeccable experience. Impressed, his client told Miguel it was “the best weekend he and his wife have ever had” and that he looked forward to a long, mutually beneficial partnership. It was a perfect ending to the perfect weekend, just as Miguel had hoped for.

  Alas, Miguel’s business dining and entertaining experience was one that few ever actually experience. Because there are so many moving parts with client entertainment, something is bound to go wrong and almost always does. Guests arrive late or not at all. Reservations go astray. Crowded, noisy dining rooms hinder conversations. Kitchens get backed up. Service is slow. Wrong or incorrectly cooked meals arrive at the table. Servers are surly. Glasses topple, silverware falls, and food flies. Guests argue or over-imbibe. And all of this happens before the credit card is declined. And these are just the business meals. Every other client entertainment vehicle has its own inherent potential perils.

  Business dining is rife with risk, but it is a risk the serious professional wants to take as often as possible. You can expand opportunities, acquire information, garner advice, gain introductions, and strengthen bonds, all for a pittance in the investment of time and money. Business dining is the perfect vehicle for welcoming business partners, celebrating good news, rewarding major milestones, showing gratitude, delivering apologies, and sharing important or difficult news.

  The savvy professional knows a business meal is not about the food. In calm and comfortable surroundings, away from the frantic pace of the office, a guest is far more likely to let her genuine persona emerge, laying the groundwork to establish true rapport.

  The Business of Hospitality

  Jack, head of sales for a financial organization, had been looking forward to his company acquiring a significant piece of business. They had had serious competition but, still, he was confident they would ultimately win the deal. So, after months of pursuit, it came as something of a shock when he learned they did not.

  When Jack asked the president what the decision had rested on, he was assured that the problem was not his company’s proposal, which was very competitive in all areas.

  “It was a tough call,” he told Jack. In the end, it was the social relationship the other company had created and the pleasant, easy rapport they had established. The climax was a magnificent formal dinner they arranged for his company’s entire executive team and their spouses. “They not only wined and dined us,” he said, “they made us feel like family.”

  Every detail of the dinner had been meticulously planned. The spectacular view from the top floor allowed guests to see a setting sun as it melted into the evening twilight and intermingled with the candle-lit tables, all reflected off of floor-to-ceiling windows. And then there were the quietly beautiful place cards—minor works of art, with each attendee’s name handwritten by a calligrapher.

  The president believed that if this was the level of preparation and respect he and his company could expect as clients, this was the place for them. “Those place cards closed the deal,” he told Jack.

  Breaking bread in business has always been about strengthening relationships. And it is as important today as it’s ever been. But a dedicated dining experience outside of the office for the purposes of building a relationship is out of sync with the way millennials do things. It makes no sense to them, especially when they can grab fruit, yogurt, or a Kind bar from the office kitchen and keep on task. Why pay for food and drinks when their employers offer them for free? Relationship building for this cohort is done across the open-plan office or via social media, not at formal place settings. Traditional business entertaining is becoming less of a priority to older generations as well.

  This is shortsighted. The significance of hospitality has a long history, dating back to the first recorded writings some 5,000 years ago. One reference of this was found in the Teachings of Khety, c. 2100 BCE:1

  “Give the stranger olive oil from your jar,

  And double the income of your household.

  The divine assembly desires respect for the poor

  More than honor for the powerful.”

  Throughout history, hospitality was the means through which generosity, honor, and respect were shown. It serves the same purpose in the 21st century.

  Globally, the significance of business dining and entertaining cannot be overstated. A critical component of establishing trust, business dining in the international arena determines whether or not there will be a subsequent business relationship.

  The Financial Times has a wonderful, semi-regular column in its magazine, How to Spend It, called “The Captain’s Table.” In this column, they interview extraordinarily successful businesspeople about where in the world they most like to dine and their thoughts on the business dining experience itself.

  Richie Nanda, executive chairman of the international security firm Topsgrup India said, “I would say that 80 percent of my business is, in some way, conducted over lunch and dinner. I am very much into relationships, and believe that to form good ones and conduct successful business you need to be relaxed—and that often comes as a result of enjoying a good meal on a one-to-one basis.”2 Joseph Sitt, president and CEO of Thor Equities, a global portfolio and development pipeline, says, “My mentor, an Egyptian businessman called Joseph Chehebar, once told me ‘If you don’t have a meeting set up over a meal that day, then don’t come to work.’”3

  In the U.S., entertaining of clients often follows successful business dealings, but around the world, they are integral throughout the entire process.

  International dining customs vary widely, and serious professionals go to great lengths to prepare themselves accordingly. They know that when dining with Japanese clients, you never pour alcohol for yourself. Among Arabs, you do not use your left hand to eat, as that hand is considered unclean. Attire, introductions, gift-giving, conversation, dining etiquette, the significance of alcohol, toasting, and after-hours entertainment are just some of the important elements that are carefully researched before dining with international business partners.

  In the U.S., if we entertain at all, it is often for practical reasons. We are busy and our clients and colleagues are busy, but we want to meet, and we have to eat. So we opt for the “two birds with one stone” approach and convene over a meal. This may seem an efficient tactic, but may also leave a great deal of potential on the table. Working breakfasts and luncheons are perfectly fine if billed as such up front. And, of course, if clients want to talk business over meals, we are happy to comply. But if stronger alliances are what we are after, we need to let the balance of conversation be about nonbusiness items.

  While you are learning about your dining companion over a business meal, you too are under the microscope. Your guest is on the lookout for clues about you—your personality, your integrity, and how much you value this relationship. The amount of thought you give to the choice of venue, the invitation, the greeting, and the seating of your guest are also under evaluation. How you interact with the server, order wine, steer the conversation, deal with the unforeseen, and pay the bill are, too. At a business meal, your grace, generosity, and personal characteristics are
on display and contribute to your guest’s evaluation of you and your overall suitability as a business partner.

  Business dining opportunities involve more than just those with clients and prospects. Coworkers, employees, and bosses get to see us eat every day. And the people who hold our professional futures in their hands notice us as we wolf down our overstuffed Italian subs, our chins dripping with olive oil.

  Business dining is also a big part of the interview process, especially if the job will include face-to-face client interactions. A prospective boss does not invite a candidate to lunch or dinner because she thinks he is hungry. Her concern is how this person would fare in an unscripted and unpredictable social situation that may require any combination of good judgment, flexibility, humor, kindness, and consideration.

  Walt Bettinger, CEO of Charles Schwab, the brokerage and banking company, uses the business dining experience to evaluate how well job candidates deal with adversity. In an interview with Adam Bryant of The New York Times, he said he takes candidates to breakfast, arrives early, and asks the server to deliberately mess up the candidate’s order. “That will help me understand how they deal with adversity. Are they upset? Are they frustrated? Or are they understanding? Life is like that and business is like that.”4 He says it gives him a window into their hearts, not just their heads.

  Prospective employers are also carefully observing how comfortable candidates are in sophisticated surroundings, how appropriate are their choices of food, drink, and conversation, how aptly they display dining skills, and whether they glance at their electronic devices. A false step in any of these areas could cost an otherwise qualified candidate a job offer.