Betrayed

by Kritika Sharma

  “What?” I mouthed, as I goggled at him. Sarv quickly shook his head and begged me silently not to tell Shiva anything. I promised. Oh God, how come I never noticed it? Sarv was totally crushing on her.

  I wanted to help Sarv, but knowing how Shiva was, it was better not to pursue this matter. I offered the same advice to him and he just shrugged. He already knew that there was no chance for him; Shiva was one of those girls who was just not interested in any kind of relationship except for friendship. The extent of ‘love’ for her was my love-life. “I think I have endured enough heartbreaks for one lifetime,” she had muttered when she had seen me cry over Dev’s betrayal. I pitied Sarv!

  Where Sarv was getting nowhere in his crush, Kunal’s crush was finding its footing. He was trying to spend more and more time with me and somehow things were turning in his favor.

  My mother, who was in Jaipur with my maasi, had to extend her trip because my mausaji was now critically serious. My father and mausaji shared a good bond; hence my father too decided to join her in Jaipur. They were least worried about me because I was already spending my entire day at Shiva’s home. Now, relieved from any parental supervision, I was totally free to do whatever I wanted and step out whenever I wanted. Shiva’s mother was too cool to put up any restrictions; her only rule was – back home before 7 P.M. and we always adhered to it. Somehow I felt she pitied me. She had once said to Shiva that according to her, all the strict rules of my mother were ruining me emotionally and psychologically – and deep down I knew she was right!

  Kunal and I soon started dating unofficially. A few days after his proposal I was sitting in front of him in a café shop. It was a newly opened place, and it had an alienated feeling. I had never been to such a restaurant, and I felt exceptionally out of place. My first thought was, ‘Is it me or is everybody staring?’ Kunal had ordered coffee for me, and I drank it rather regretfully – to me it was extremely bitter. We spent two hours talking about everything and by the time we stepped out, I had promised myself never to set foot in that awful tasting and freakishly expensive place.

  “Can we meet again tomorrow?” he requested, expectantly. I looked at him for a moment; I did enjoy his company, and somehow, I felt drawn towards him.

  “Only on one condition,” I replied, seriously. His face fell.

  “Can we meet somewhere else?” I smiled, as I twirled my hair and he laughed in relief. Later, he called me to confirm a rather small shack-cum-restaurant near Lover’s Park. It was popular with couples; hence it would be ideal for us. If only couples frequented that place, then who would bother us?

  Kunal and I started meeting at the shack every day, and I cherished each moment I spent with him. Secret meetings with Kunal were exciting and exhilarating, however, there was a guilt factor that was eating me up. I was misusing the trust my parents had in me. I had no regrets about breaking my mother’s faith, but my father was a good man, and I loved him and respected him.

  Thankfully my guilt trip couldn’t stay for long because my parents came back two days before my board exams and all my extra-curricular activities came to a halt. With God’s grace my mausaji was better now, and my parents had decided to return to their normal lives. I informed Kunal about the same, and with much reluctance, he accepted it.

  Unexpected Request

  The guilt of breaking my parents’ trust was nothing in comparison to how I felt about cheating on Dev! My meetings with Kunal were a secret but it had proven to be a difficult secret. Dev was hell-bent on me. Given he had no need to study –he would pass if he appears for exam– he spent every waking second stalking me. He too wanted to spend time with me, but I now had time only for Kunal.

  When I informed Shiva and Sarv, they were stunned for a second. “You must be kidding me!” Sarv had exclaimed. Shiva had beaten me with the fat Mathematics book. Dev was obsessed with me now. And I felt that I was toying with him just like he had toyed with me; how did it make me a better person? Yes, I was that naïve and good.

  Present Day in the Bar

  “Hold on!” Ravi interrupted Ishana. She was so lost in her story that she had totally forgotten that she was narrating it to him.

  “You are saying that you got close to this Kunal, and you were guilty about it?” She nodded hopelessly at his question. “Is Dev still with you?” he questioned, suspiciously.

  “You are jumping to the climax again!” Ishana laughed.

  “No, I am just saying that if he isn’t, then he had lost the gem of his life. You are like the Goddess of loyalty.” He was laughing now.

  “I was the Goddess of loyalty,” she corrected, sternly. “Didn’t you hear, I was having a side affair with Kunal?”

  “Yes, and you were feeling guilty. Despite what Dev did!” He was amazed. “He should have married you then and there!” His words put scorn on Ishana’s face.

  “When I think back, if he had proposed to me, I would have married Dev! Just that we were under-age, so it would have been illegal,” she spoke, thoughtfully.

  “Good thing you didn’t. He was a bastard,”

  “Cheers to that!” She raised her glass and they drank to that thought.

  “And your friends called you a seductress.” He laughed, almost choking on his bourbon.

  “Cheers to that too.” She winked and laughed harder. But it was not a laugh of happiness. Instead, of sorrow that nobody except for her saw.

  Sometimes Ishana still wondered what her life would have looked like if she hadn’t met Dev. Or she hadn’t discovered the truth. Or…

  School Life – Year 2001

  The guilt of getting side-tracked from Dev was distracting. Hence, I decided to focus more on him. The day before our first exam was our last class of the year – our first exam was on 27th February 2001, and Shiva, Sarv and I were fully prepared for our exams. We had been studying very hard and I felt we all were going to score pretty well. As for Dev, nothing could be said. He was still banking on the fact that all he needed to do was sit for the paper and he would pass automatically.

  “Would you come tonight?” I whispered to Dev softly before our lesson. Everybody was inside and we were hiding in a secluded corner of the coaching.

  “What?” He was stunned. It was not just my question, but it was my presence that shocked him as well. After weeks I was talking to him in private. Also, I was standing so close to him that our hands were brushing and our faces were just inches apart.

  “Yes, I have asked Shiva to stay at her place tonight. I want to spend some time with you. Lately, it feels like we are drifting apart, and I want to focus on the paper tomorrow,” I explained.

  “You should sleep tonight,” he started, concerned.

  “I will sleep, but with you, in your arms, tonight, Dev. I don’t think I can do well if our relationship keeps on bothering me tomorrow,” I spoke softly as I placed my left hand on his chest and with right I tugged at his fingers.

  “I love you, and I am not going anywhere.” He spoke as he looked down at my hands. He was dazed with my sudden proximity. Also, was he really concerned about my marks this time?

  “I will leave the door open. You can directly come into my room. The lights will be off, just come and sleep next to me, that’s all I want Dev.” I squeezed his hand. He was reluctant.

  I conjured tears and placed my hands on his cheeks and muttered in a begging tone, “Please!”

  Much to my surprise, his face tore in a million pieces. Finally, he was unable to bear my teary face. And finally, I knew for a fact that he loved me!

  “So, I won’t be able to see you for almost a month now,” Kunal complained after the lesson. Dev was nowhere to be seen. I guessed he had left for the preparation of tonight.

  “I think so.” I found Kunal’s complaint adorable.

  “I love you, Ishana,” he spoke with a deep sigh.

  “I know.” An automatic smile appeared on my face.

  “I know you love me too.” His words and confidence surprised me. I was speechles
s. “I know you will deny it, but I know it is true. I can see it in your eyes.” He was smiling now.

  “Please say that you love me too, it would be so much easier to spend the next month,” he begged.

  “I…” I started, but I was unable to finish. I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to say. So, I quickly handed him a letter and even before he could open it, I dashed away.

  Present Day in the Bar

  “What was in the letter?” Ravi was jumping on his seat.

  “Why are you so excited?” She demanded. His reaction made her suspicious. Her words forced him to calm down.

  “Nothing, just like that!” he composed himself and took a sip from his glass.

  “So did Dev come that night? Why were you stringing both of them? You should have chosen Kunal, you clearly loved him,” Ravi’s announcement made her laugh.

  “Isn’t love a funny notion? Not even an hour ago you declared I was in love with Dev. Now you are saying I was in love with Kunal. Your words do make me feel like a ‘slut!’”

  “Oh… no, never,” he started hastily but much to his surprise Ishana started laughing. It was not full of mockery or sarcasm, instead it seemed genuine. Suddenly his whole body was covered in goosebumps. He had been chatting with her for hours now, and for the first time she was laughing just for fun. A cloud of solemnness appeared in Ravi’s eyes. He just didn’t know what to think or say. He was clueless.

  A Night to Cherish

  School Life – Year 2001

  That night, at around 1:30 A.M., I waited for Dev in anticipation. The darkness and cold around was engulfing me. I was getting nervous by each second.

  Should I really go through with this? Would I be able to live with myself if I did this? What would happen with Dev and I post tonight? Would we still be together? Yes, Dev really cheated on me, betrayed me, broke my trust and sold me and my love to all the boys for a miniscule amount of money. But should I forgive him? So many thoughts like this were racing through my mind.

  Dev had agreed to come and meet me, but he had promised not to have sex. I had not asked for it; he had said it himself. “We will be together only after exams, first time hurts a lot, I don’t want you to suffer on your first day of exams,” were his words. My resolve of calling him tonight had shaken at this, but what to do, I had to do it.

  At around 1:45 A.M., I heard the back-door of my house creak. I knew Dev was in my house now.

  My heart was pounding with excitement. Any minute now and it would start. Dhak-dhak-dhak - any second now – Dhak-dhak-dhak.

  I waited for him to enter my room. The door was ajar, so all he had to do was step in and approach my bed. Any second now! Dhak-dhak-dhak- dhak-dhak-dhak.

  “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” A loud piercing scream echoed through the house, and I ran.

  My mother was sleeping in my room and Dev must have wrapped his arm around her waist.

  Present Day in the Bar

  “Your mother?” Ravi screamed in surprise. Until a second ago, he was feeling nauseated as he thought about poor sixteen-year-old Ishana, so badly in love with Dev. He was feeling hopeless and helpless at her words but the word ‘mother’ changed it completely.

  “Yes, my mother!” Ishana smiled, triumphantly.

  “What happened next?” Ravi was jumping in his seat now.

  Ishana nodded and continued.

  School Life – Year 2001

  I ran to Shiva’s house and my mother’s screams carried throughout the neighborhood and into her home. My mother, who was not a decent woman, never lost a single moment to hit anybody when given a chance. And in that moment, she was raging with fury. Yes, she hated me – God knows why – but she still was my mother and finding a man in my room was totally unacceptable to her.

  I was to sleep at Shiva’s home that night. I had slipped out to ensure my plan worked. And the moment I heard my mother’s screams, I ran back to her house and sat at her window, which opened to the road. Shiva was waiting for me there; she looked confused. Few minutes later, we saw my parents drag Dev out by his collar. He was bleeding already. My father was a kind-natured man, but when someone tried hurting or molesting his wife or daughter, he was the worst form of Lord Shiva.

  “Who are you?” they demanded, angrily.

  “Who the hell are you?” My mother was yelling now. Smack! Smack! Smack! She slapped Dev.

  “Aunty, Ishana?” Dev spoke, helplessly. We heard my father and Rakshit too now.

  “What? Who?” My father was shocked.

  “He is here for Ishana.” My mother was barking mad.

  “What?” It was my father’s turn to yell.

  “The lights were off; he came in and crept in my bed. He wrapped his hand around my waist and tried to touch,” these words were enough for my father.

  What happened next was thoroughly predictable. The way Dev was screaming, it was evident that my family was beating the crap out of him.

  “Please, Uncle, I am her boyfriend. I love her. Please call her, she can tell you, please…,” and his screams turned even more painful now!

  “Papa!” I exclaimed, innocently, as I ran out.

  “You know him?” my mother demanded, threatening. I shook my head quickly. I couldn’t tell the truth even if I wanted to; I was dead scared in that moment. The look my parents had, I found my steps retreating automatically.

  “How dare you touch my wife, how dare you sneak into my daughter’s room. You wanted to rape her?” And my father was on top of Dev and was beating him mercilessly.

  “Ishana, please,” Dev begged, but my father’s rage rose multifold upon hearing my name from his mouth. Neighbors were gathering now. Some tried to pry my father off Dev, but he just pushed everybody.

  “What happened?” People were screaming from everywhere. Shiva and I were standing at a distance. I had not expected this to drag on so much, but well, what I could do now. What was done was done!

  “He entered our house and tried raping my daughter in the middle of the night.” My father’s voice rang in the neighborhood. The word ‘rape’ acted like a stimulant, and where just my family was beating him, every uncle of the neighborhood joined in. Soon, we saw Kunal and his friends too; they had hockey sticks, and cricket bats, and they were gladly pounding Dev mercilessly.

  I don’t know who called the police, but fifteen minutes later the police came, and the crowd dissipated. My parents gave their statement regarding how they found Dev in our home in the middle of the night and Police took Dev to a hospital for treatment.

  My plan worked!

  Revenge is Best Served Cold

  We sat for our exam the next day – everybody except for Dev. He was in the hospital. I knew I had outperformed today and I just knew I was going to top English Language.

  “What happened last night?” Shiva confronted me after the exam. I shrugged.

  “What was Dev doing in your home?” She was confused and worried.

  “Why don’t we meet Sarv at your place and I tell you both together?” I offered, and as she started to argue I continued, “He too would want to know what happened. Why leave him behind?”

  She was not happy with the wait. She was way too curious. We didn’t talk till Sarv arrived. Then we took a walk, sat in a secluded corner of a park, and I started.

  “I hate Dev, no, I loathe him to the deepest extent,” I spoke with gritted teeth.

  “No, you love him. Despite everything he did, you still love him.” Shiva was shocked. Sarv was too dumbfounded. The condition of Dev was critical and last night’s story had spread in his school like wildfire. Nobody could believe that Dev tried to rape me!

  “No, I don’t. I pretended to love him. My love for him died the day I read The Slut Chronicles,” I explained.

  “So it was all a hoax? You pretended to love him for this long?” She was stunned. I just nodded, carelessly. “What about Kunal?” she demanded, pointing randomly. I looked around ensuring Ku
nal was actually not there.

  “He was a pawn in my big game, but I do like him! I will come to him later.” Shiva’s mouth fell open at my words. She was speechless now.

  “Dev is critical,” Sarv finally spoke.

  “He will live!” I spoke without any feelings.

  “He has nineteen fractures,” he continued, staring into space.

  “My heart has a million fractures,” I hissed.

  “Why? How could you?” he spoke, finally looking at me.

  “It was actually easy. Now, do you want to listen, or should I go?” I threatened, angrily.

  “If you can’t stomach the truth, maybe it is better that I should leave. Because if you ever told this to anybody, I swear I will commit suicide.” I was worried now. My last words brought them both to their senses. They promised not to let anyone know, and I finally revealed it.

  “Rule number 1 of gaining someone’s attention is to ignore them. I read it in the Slut Chronicles, so I made Dev taste his own medicine. I ignored him. I fueled his insecurities by befriending the most handsome boy of the coaching class – Kunal! Dev was beside himself. I ignored him so that he couldn’t stop thinking about me. He was obsessing; the way he was appearing at my window every night, he was restless. I made sure he was in love with me, and he proved it by burning those wretched folders. He also proved himself to me when he said ‘no’ to coming over last night. He should have stayed home!” I paused to see Shiva’s and Sarv’s expressions. They were staring strangely at me. I decided to continue.