Foxholme Hall, and Other Tales
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feet two in stature, it wasillogically argued that it would be a general advantage to manhood ifall were exceedingly tall--suppose of the height of the suite of theDuke of Brunswick (composed of men some inches above seven feet), whichcame to London a hundred years ago.
"Of course," said Tydvill, "Churchill is right in the Rosciad when hesays:
"`Your hero should be always tall, you know.'"
But the wiser ones of the crew showed that the ordinary height, as fixedby the Almighty, is the best. If the scale of men were raised a foot orso, with proportioned frame and weight, horses and other beasts ofburden should be increased also; else the giants could neither hunt noreven travel, nor find beef and mutton, etc, for their support. And ifthe animals were larger, more grass, etc, would be required than atpresent. The whole scale of proportions would require alteration. Whocan dare to think that God's design is not the best? Neither giants nordwarfs form the general rule, and extreme exceptions are happily veryrare.
"What became of the gun?" inquired one of the party. "I hope that wasnot swallowed up?"
"No; that was pulled up with me. I had kept fast hold of it; we felland rose together, and so I was not--
"`Doomed to perish by the slaughtering gun.'"
However, it was unfit for service, like its owner, for the remainder ofthat day; its chilled barrel looked as if it were moaning forth to me,in hollow tone,--
"`Stay by me--thou art resolute and faithful; I have employment worthy of thy arm.'"
It will be seen that Mr O'Mackerry had a smattering of classical lore.He was asked to name his last poet.
"Dryden," said he, off-hand.
"You hadn't a _dry_ den when you were up to your chin in the wet, blackhole," quickly added Tydvill. Here there was unanimous applause.
This led to some conversational nonsense about punning.
"What is a pun?"
"Don't you know," said O'Mackerry, "Swift's definition in the essaywhich he entitled `The Ars Punica sive flos linguarum, by Tom-Pun-Sibi,Dublin?'" None other of the crew knew anything concerning it; O'Macktherefore gave them the concluding part as a specimen, and in reply tothe question. "Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words,which, passing in at the ears and falling upon the diaphragms, excites atitillatory motion in those parts, and this being conveyed by the animalspirits into the muscles of the face, raises the cockles of the heart,and promotes the end of good fellowship, which is laughing."
Just at that moment the crew in training for the coming race between therival universities neared the Rose, for so the boat must now be called,and, as in duty bound, the latter drew to the opposite bank to allow theeight-oared cutter to pass at fullest speed, and then following in herwake, the rest of the trip was passed in comparative silence, so eagerlydid our freshmen note each movement of that skilful crew.
STORY FIVE, CHAPTER ONE.
STORY FIVE--THE FORCE OF CONSCIENCE--A TALE BY A NAVAL CHAPLAIN.
Soon after I entered Holy Orders I joined the old ---, 74, in the WestIndies. As we were for a considerable time stationary at Port Royal,Jamaica, and my health was suffering from the climate, I obtained leaveto take a few weeks' cruise with an elder brother, who commanded a brigof war on the station. While I was on board the brig, she was sent insearch of a piratical craft, which had of late been committing greatdepredations on British commerce in those seas. At length, after a longsearch, we sighted her, made chase, attacked, and, after a desperatefight, captured her, with a loss of several of our own men, andone-third of the pirates killed and wounded.
Among the pirate crew a young man was brought on board badly wounded,whose countenance exhibited such an expression of deep melancholy anddespair, that I could not help feeling compassion for him; indeed, Ipersuaded myself that he must be less guilty than his companions. Theywere, or their physiognomies woefully belied them, as villainous a setof scoundrels as were ever collected together, and their captain, ifreport spoke true, was the greatest miscreant of them all. I attendeddaily by the bed-side of the unhappy youth I speak of, and had hopes,although he said little, that I had worked on his mind some impressionof the awful state in which he was placed; but as he recovered hisstrength his obduracy of heart appeared to return, and he seemed to havepersuaded himself that he should escape the punishment of his crimes.
After a long beat we at length entered Port Royal in triumph with ourprize, and were thanked by all the merchants for the service we hadrendered them. The pirates were tried without delay, one of themturning king's evidence, and being all convicted of the most atrociousmurders on the high seas, with this single exception, they were allsentenced to death.
The evening before his execution the young man I spoke of sent toentreat me to visit him. I gladly acceded to his wish. I found himheavily ironed and chained to the ground, in a room with astrongly-grated window, where three of his piratical shipmates were alsoconfined. These latter were Spaniards, and dark ferocious-lookingruffians they seemed--more like beasts than men with immortal souls, sobrutalising are the effects of habitual crime.
They regarded me as I entered with glances of furious hate, for theyrecognised me as having belonged to the ship which captured them, and,had they not been manacled, they would, I truly believe, have rushed atme to satisfy their longing for vengeance, but their chains, fortunatelyfor me, holding them down, they again sank into the sullen apathy fromwhich my appearance had roused them.
Sitting down on a low stool, furnished by the gaoler, I expressed mywillingness to afford the prisoner every aid in my power that his awfulstate demanded.
"You were kind to me, sir, when I lay wounded, from the first, on ourpassage here, and I thought you would excuse me speaking to you," heanswered, looking furtively around as if some one was watching him."Oh, sir, there are many, many things weighing like hot lead upon mymind, and I must tell them to some fellow-creature before I am sent onmy last voyage, or I should have to come back again to haunt this world,which is already sick of me and my crimes. Oh, sir, it is dreadful tothink of dying when one has lived as I have done; yet my life for someyears has been one of misery, ever haunted by a hideous spirit or abeing of--There it is, sir! see, see! I knew that I could not talk ofhim without his coming! There, there, there!" he shrieked out.
I exerted all my powers to soothe the mind of the poor wretch, throwingin such observations as I thought might tend to bring him to think onthe new state of existence he was about to enter. Pirate as he was, Ifelt that he was still a fellow-creature, and who can tell what strongtemptations might have led him into crime? Who among us can say how weshould have withstood the same? Let us feel grateful that we havereceived the benefit of a religious education, and pray Heaven to keepus from sin. Seeing that until he had relieved his mind by a narrationof the circumstances in his career which pressed most heavily on it, hewould be unable to attend to me, I told him that I was prepared tolisten to anything he might have to say. On this he immediatelycommenced a sketch of his life in almost the following words:--
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The Confessions of a Pirate.
"I am a Devonshire man, and was born near Salcombe. A wild-lookingplace is Salcombe Range. My father's cottage stood on the hill facingdirectly down the bay, or range, as they call it in the west country, sothat the only view I remember in childhood was that of the dark cliffson each side of its entrance, with its heaving and foaming waters; theonly music I ever heard, their hollow melancholy sound.
"My father had been an officer of excise at Plymouth, and, havingsomehow or other made his fortune, retired here to end his days. Thishe soon did, for, shortly after I was born, my mother dying, he took todrinking harder than ever--he was never a very sober man--and before Iwas seven years old I was left an orphan. I had now no one to lookafter me, except an old woman, whose chief occupation was mixingsmuggled spirits to fit them for the market; when she used to taste andtaste the stuff till she went reeling to bed. I
consequently had plentyof time and opportunity to follow my own inclinations, and was earlytaught all sorts of wild pranks by boys older than myself.
"For some time my principal employment consisted in dodging the steps ofthe revenue officers, both when a run was about to be made, andafterwards when the tubs and cases were to be carried up the country. Icould neither read nor write, and as for religion, I never heard of it;indeed, I was as ignorant as could well be. At last, the clergyman ofthe parish took compassion on my unprotected state; and the old womanwho had charge of me dying, like my father, in a fit of drunkenness, hesent for me up to his house, and asked me if I should like to go toschool. Though I did not know what school meant, I answered `Yes,' forI wanted to go somewhere; it little signified to me where. As I wastreated kindly I got on very well, so that in three years I wasconsidered one