Playing by Heart

by Cleary James

  ‘You can go after all?’ To her relief, Isabel sounded delighted.

  ‘Um ... yes, I can. I was wondering, would you mind awfully if ... I mean, he’s already invited you, so—’

  ‘Oh, don’t worry about that!’ Isabel said breezily. ‘I don’t mind in the least.’

  ‘Are you sure? I don’t want to put you out.’

  ‘Absolutely. I was only going because you couldn’t. I know it would mean a lot to him to have you there.’

  Lisa smiled, relieved that she sounded so genuinely blasé.

  ‘Have you got something to wear?’ Isabel asked.

  ‘Oh! No, I don’t.’ She hadn’t even thought that far ahead. ‘I suppose it’ll be very dressy.’ She tried to remember what the invitation had said, but she hadn’t taken in much apart from the location.

  ‘Yes, it’s black tie, so you’re going to need a cocktail dress.’

  Lisa’s heart sank. ‘I don’t have anything remotely suitable. There’s not much call for evening wear where I live now.’

  ‘Have you told Grayson yet that you can go after all?’

  ‘Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first, make sure you were okay with it.’

  ‘Right,’ Isabel said, a smile in her voice. ‘I’ve got an idea ...’

  Chapter Seventeen

  The last time Lisa had been on a train, she’d been running away from Mark, and she couldn’t help feeling nervous at the thought of returning to London as she boarded the express from Gatwick Airport. She knew she was being silly. Grayson was right – London was a huge, crowded city, and the chances of her running into Mark were close to zero. Still, she couldn’t quite quell the jittery feeling in her stomach as they left green fields behind and rattled through the outer suburbs of the city. Along with the nerves, she felt a little tingle of excitement when the train pulled into Paddington Station and she stepped out into the familiar buzz and bustle of London.

  She made her way quickly through the crowded platform to the taxi rank outside. When she had given the driver Isabel’s address, she sank back against the upholstery and enjoyed the journey, drinking in the sights and sounds of her beloved home town. She felt a familiar little tug as she looked out the window at the distinctive red buses and black taxis, the majestic stone buildings and iconic monuments, and the crowds jostling for space as they poured in and out of Tube stations. She had missed this – she hadn’t realised how much. She’d only been away for six months, but already it felt new and exciting, if a little daunting. As the taxi weaved through the streets, she felt like a tourist, her nose pressed to the glass, taking it all in.

  Grayson didn’t know that she was coming to London. She hadn’t told him she’d changed her mind about accompanying him to the awards dinner this evening. It had been Isabel’s idea.

  ‘Why don’t we surprise him?’ she’d said. ‘Come to London for the day. We’ll go shopping and get you a dress. You can get ready at my place, and then when he comes to pick me up, he’ll find you there instead.’ Isabel’s enthusiasm for the idea was infectious, and Lisa found herself agreeing readily.

  ‘He’s going to be so thrilled,’ Isabel squealed. ‘And this way, if anything happens and it turns out you can’t make it after all, he won’t be disappointed.’

  Lisa couldn’t help wondering if Isabel suspected why she’d turned down the invitation in the first place, and was giving her the opportunity to still flake out at the last minute. If so, she was grateful to her for her understanding.

  Isabel’s home in Belsize Park felt a little too close for comfort to the house Lisa had shared with Mark in nearby Hampstead, and her nerves increased as they drove through the familiar leafy roads. She was very glad to see a friendly, welcoming face when Isabel opened the door.

  ‘Lisa!’ She beamed, pulling her into a hug. ‘You made it!’

  ‘Yes,’ Lisa smiled, realising Isabel hadn’t counted on her turning up until she actually saw her on the doorstep.

  ‘It’s so good to see you.’ Isabel ushered her into the house.

  ‘It’s really good to see you too,’ Lisa said, realising that she meant it. Even though she only met Isabel on a couple of occasions, and then in very weird circumstances, she felt instantly comfortable with her. She had such an open, warm manner that Lisa felt like they were already old friends.

  ‘Grayson’s going to be so happy when he sees you,’ Isabel said excitedly. ‘I can’t wait to see his face!’ She took Lisa’s coat and overnight bag from her in the hall. ‘We’ve got a big day ahead,’ she warned her. ‘But I expect you’d like a cup of coffee first?’

  ‘I’d love one,’ Lisa said gratefully. She could do with a shot of caffeine to wake her up. Even though the flight had been short, she had been up very early this morning and was a little tired already.

  She had never been in Isabel’s house before, and she looked around with interest as she followed her through to the kitchen. The decor was as eclectic and flamboyant as she'd have expected, with colourful painted walls and lots of dramatic pieces of art. In the kitchen Isabel waved her to a seat and handed her a steaming mug of coffee. Lisa breathed in the delicious aroma gratefully.

  ‘I have a big girlie day planned for us,’ Isabel told her as she sat opposite. ‘We’re having facials and manicures this morning, and I’ve booked us a table for lunch. And then we’re going to buy an amazing dress for you to wear tonight.’

  ‘Nothing too expensive,’ Lisa reminded her nervously. ‘I’m on a strict budget.’ She had already spent more than she could afford getting here, and she hadn’t counted on paying for beauty treatments as well as a dress.

  ‘That’s no problem,’ Isabel said breezily. ‘Don’t worry, I can do style on a budget. I didn’t always have money myself.’

  ‘I hope you hadn’t already bought something to wear tonight yourself,’ Lisa said.

  ‘I had, as it happens – any excuse. But don’t worry about that,’ Isabel said, shrugging off her concerns. ‘I have a big party coming up next week that I can wear it to. Although it might be a bit too much for that particular occasion,’ she added with a little laugh.

  Lisa looked at her questioningly.

  ‘It’s a sex party,’ Isabel explained with a cheeky grin, her eyes sparkling. ‘An orgy.’

  ‘Oh.’ Lisa tried to hide her shock, but Isabel just laughed.

  ‘Anyway,’ she said, ‘do you like vintage? I know this shop that has fabulous stuff, but it’s all too small for me. You’re so petite, it’ll be easy to find you something – and I’ll get to shop there vicariously.’

  ‘It sounds perfect!’ Lisa said. ‘I love vintage.’ She was glad Isabel didn’t try to persuade her to spend more than she could afford, or worse, offer to buy a dress for her.

  ‘Great! I’ve already picked out a few dresses that I think will work, to save us time. The manicure and facial are on me,’ she said. ‘No argument. It’s fun to have someone to do that stuff with, so indulge me, please?’

  ‘Thank you,’ Lisa said, deciding to accept graciously. She could see Isabel genuinely wanted to treat her, and it would be churlish to turn her down. After all, she reminded herself, there could be as much pleasure in giving gifts as in receiving them.

  ‘I'll do your hair and make-up myself,’ Isabel continued. ‘I’m good at that. Ooh, we’re going to have so much fun,’ she said, her eyes sparkling. She drained her coffee and glanced at her watch. ‘We’d better get going. Drink up!’

  The salon Isabel took Lisa to was very upmarket. They were served champagne while they were pampered and buffed, and Isabel kept up a constant stream of chatter. Lisa felt quite giddy by the time they left and Isabel led the way to a fashionable restaurant where she had reserved a table. They both ordered chicken and pineapple salad and sparkling water, and the food was deliciously light and tasty.

  ‘How’s your work going?’ Isabel asked her as they ate.

  ‘It’s fine,’ Lisa shrugged. ‘There’s a film crew in town, so it’s been very busy the la
st couple of weeks.’

  Isabel smiled, looking at her quizzically. ‘I meant your painting.’

  ‘Oh!’ Lisa blushed.

  ‘What is it you do?’

  ‘I’m a waitress. I work in a cafe five days a week.’

  ‘But you are painting again?’

  Lisa nodded. ‘Yes, I’m working really hard at it actually, and it’s going well. I’m pretty happy with what I’m doing at the moment.’

  ‘Good. Have you got any photos?’ Isabel nodded to Lisa’s phone on the table beside her. ‘Grayson showed me that painting you sent him, but I’d love to see more.’

  ‘Yes, I’ve got a few.’ Lisa picked up the phone and scrolled through to some photos of her recent work. She handed the phone to Isabel.

  Isabel put down her knife and fork and gave her full attention to the screen, a little frown of concentration between her brows as she scrolled through the images. She seemed to stop a long time on each one, and Lisa began to feel self-conscious as the silence lengthened. She wished she knew what Isabel was thinking. Maybe she didn’t think they were very good and didn’t know what to say. Lisa had been confident about them until now, but faced with the judgement of an expert like Isabel, she suddenly felt unsure of herself.

  Finally Isabel lifted her head. ‘Wow,’ she said as she handed the phone back to Lisa. ‘They’re amazing!’ Her expression was deadly serious.

  ‘Really?’ Lisa smiled in relief. Even though deep down she’d believed in her work, the external validation meant a lot – especially coming from Isabel, whose opinion was so highly valued.

  Isabel nodded. ‘They’re wonderful, Lisa. I’d love if you’d let me have some for the gallery. You’re very talented.’ She picked up her knife and fork again, but didn’t resume eating. ‘You do know that, don’t you?’ she asked carefully, her eyes narrowed.

  Lisa shrugged. ‘Well, I guess ... I mean, I’m satisfied with my work—’

  ‘No.’ Isabel reached out a hand and placed it over Lisa’s, commanding her full attention. ‘You’re really talented.’ She looked her squarely in the eye. ‘You should be having solo shows, and selling internationally. Don’t guess. Know it.’ She squeezed Lisa’s hand for emphasis. ‘Own it.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Lisa said quietly. ‘That means a lot.’

  ‘Seriously, I’d love to represent you,’ Isabel said. ‘Would you consider giving me some pieces for the gallery? Or if you have enough work and you feel you’re ready, I could give you a show. I have a slot available around the end of November.’

  Lisa’s heart soared and plummeted almost at the same time. It was an amazing offer. Having the backing of a major gallery owner like Isabel was the kind of recognition she’d always dreamed of. It would be the break into the London art world that she’d aspired to for so long. But it was bittersweet to have such a wonderful opportunity held out in front of her when she knew she couldn’t take it.

  She shook her head, dropping her eyes to the table. ‘That would be amazing, Isabel, and I appreciate the offer – more than you could know. Really, I can’t thank you enough.’

  Isabel gave her a quizzical look. ‘I’d be the one thanking you if you say yes. I’d have as much to gain as you would – maybe more. Apart from my hefty commission, I’d have the kudos of being the dealer who launched Lisa Matthews on the world.’

  Lisa smiled sadly. ‘Thanks for the offer – it means the world to me. But—’

  ‘But you’re saying no? If you’re not ready—’

  Lisa shook her head. ‘It’s not that. I don’t really want to show my work in London. I’m not looking for an art career anymore.’

  Isabel was looking at her speculatively, her eyes narrowed. ‘Is this because of Mark?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Lisa admitted. She looked down at the table, drawing patterns on the cloth, steeling herself to ask Isabel the questions that had been buzzing around in her head all day. She was having such a nice time, she hadn’t wanted to spoil it by talking about Mark. But now that he’d already been mentioned, she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to find out what Isabel knew.

  ‘Do you see him at all?’ she asked.

  Isabel shrugged. ‘I see him around sometimes.’

  ‘Do you know Rose?’

  ‘Not really – at least not personally. I’ve been aware of her as an artist. I remember she had a show at Gallery Six a while back that was very well received. She seems to have disappeared off the radar a bit since then.’

  Lisa’s heart clenched. ‘But you don’t ... socialise with them?’

  ‘No.’ A shadow flickered across Isabel’s face, and Lisa guessed they were both thinking of the dinner party at Grayson’s where they’d met.

  She flushed. ‘I just thought you might have some idea what their relationship is like.’

  Isabel shook her head. ‘Sorry. They do seem to be a couple, but I don’t know how serious they are.’

  ‘Mark seems to have moved on, but ...’

  ‘But you can’t be sure,’ Isabel finished for her. ‘Do you think he’s still looking for you?’

  ‘I honestly don’t know. But I don’t want to run the risk if he is.’

  Isabel eyed her thoughtfully. ‘If that’s all that’s stopping you, you could always use a pseudonym,’ she said, toying with her glass. ‘Or you could even be anonymous, and we could keep your identity a secret.’ She smiled. ‘It might help with publicity – who doesn’t love a bit of mystery and intrigue?’

  Lisa considered. It was a tempting idea. It would be wonderful to sell in a major gallery, to get recognition for her work, even if no one knew her real name. And it would be a dream come true if she could earn a living doing what she loved. But could it work?

  ‘You wouldn’t even need to be in London,’ Isabel said persuasively. ‘You could stay in Cornwall and Grayson could act as a go-between. Think about it anyway.’

  Lisa nodded. ‘I will.’

  Isabel flicked a glance at her watch. ‘Well, we’d better get going,’ she said, signalling for the bill. ‘We’ve got some serious dress shopping to do.’

  Chapter Eighteen

  Grayson tried to shake himself out of his gloomy mood as his town car made its way to Isabel’s house to pick her up. What was wrong with him? This should be one of the best nights of his life. He was getting recognition for his work from the industry he loved. Whether he won or not, it was an incredible accolade, and an honour he had never even dreamed of. He should be excited and happy, looking forward to an evening with his peers, celebrating the best of their profession. Instead he felt edgy and strangely dissatisfied.

  Of course, he knew what the problem was. Lisa wasn’t here. It was one of the proudest moments of his life and he wanted to share it with the woman he loved. He understood why she didn’t feel able to come, but he still couldn’t help wishing she were here.

  At least Isabel would be there to share it with him, he thought as they pulled up outside her building. She knew how much tonight meant to him, and she had cancelled a date so that she could be there for him on his big night. She was really excited and happy for him. So he should show his appreciation for her support and stop being such a moody bugger – that wouldn’t make the evening fun for either of them.

  Determined that he was going to make the best of things and enjoy the night, he hopped out of the car and walked up the steps to her door, mustering a smile as he rang the bell. The door swung open immediately, as if Isabel had been waiting just inside, but his smile faded instantly as he saw her standing there in jeans and a big over-sized sweatshirt.

  ‘Grayson,’ she smiled calmly, ushering him into the hall. ‘Hi.’

  ‘You’re not ready,’ he said as he passed her, unable to hide his dismay.

  ‘Change of plan,’ she said. ‘I’m not coming.’

  ‘What?’ He frowned, aghast. ‘Why not?’

  She shrugged. ‘I changed my mind.’

  ‘And you didn’t think you might have told me?’ He glanced at hi
s watch. It was too late to find another plus-one now. He would just have to go solo, he thought miserably, feeling very sorry for himself. But really, was it too much to ask that there should be one person who cared about him there tonight to share his moment of glory?

  ‘It was a last minute thing,’ she said, still with that damn calm smile. ‘Better offer.’

  ‘Better offer! Christ!’ He couldn’t believe Isabel was being so blasé about letting him down at the last minute. It was so unlike her to be thoughtless. What the hell had got into her?

  ‘But don’t worry,’ she said, taking his arm and pulling him in the direction of her living room. ‘I’m not leaving you high and dry. I’ve arranged a substitute.’

  ‘You’ve got me a date?’ he asked disbelievingly. ‘For tonight?’

  ‘Yes. Come and meet her.’

  She tried to tug him towards her living room, but he dug his heels in and remained immovable. ‘Christ, Isabel,’ he whispered, ‘I don’t want a blind date tonight. I’d rather go alone.’

  ‘You’ll change your mind when you see her. Anyway, she’s all dressed up now. And she’s come a long way. You can’t just stand her up.’

  He didn’t resist as she grabbed his arm again, and he allowed her to lead him to the living room, but only so he could tell his ‘date’ that there had been some terrible mistake and she wouldn’t be coming to the ceremony with him. He was still scowling at Isabel as they reached the open door, and was only aware of a flash of dark blue in his peripheral vision.

  Then he turned towards it and his breath caught in his throat because there, standing by the window with her back to them, was Lisa. She turned around to face him, and his heart seemed to stop for a beat.

  ‘Lisa!’ he breathed, his voice barely above a stunned whisper. ‘What—’

  ‘Like I said,’ Isabel said quietly by his side, ‘you got a better offer.’

  He glanced at her with a surprised smile before turning his attention back to Lisa. She was stunning, in a strapless, floor-length dress of midnight blue that made her pale skin almost translucent, her hair falling around her shoulders in soft waves. Everything about her seemed to glow. ‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ he said, blinking at her dazedly.