Discovering Danielle

by L M Terry

  J: Intrigued? Yes?

  D: Yes.

  J: I thought so.

  J: You are going to have to make a few decisions.

  D: I’m not good at decisions. I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong choice.

  J: Don’t worry, either way the result will be the same, there is no right or wrong here. There just is. The choice for you is how it all begins.

  I wiggle in my seat. Damn.

  J: So… Option A - Open the door, we talk about things and we come up with a plan for you to move in with me. Option B - I take you when you least expect it. Either way is fine with me. I need you to be with me if I am going to fix those broken bits of yours. What do you choose?

  D: You can’t just kidnap me you know?

  J: Can’t I?

  D: You’re not that type of man.

  J: How do you know what type of man I am?

  D: I just know.

  J: Well, it’s not kidnapping when the person wants it.

  D: I didn’t say I wanted you to kidnap me.

  J: But, you do don’t you? You picked Option B.

  D: No. I didn’t.

  J: But, you did.

  D: ..l..

  J: What does that mean?

  D: It’s me flipping you off.

  J: Nice. I like it when you’re feisty.

  J: When you’re mine I’ll teach you how to use emojis, they have a flipping the bird one.

  D: I know what emojis are.

  J: See you want to be mine. You didn’t even argue that point.

  D: Wait, what?

  J: I’ll be seeing you soon, Dani. We are going to discover just who you are…together. I can’t wait.

  D: You are crazy.

  J: Yes, but have you been afraid since we started this text convo?

  He is right, I haven’t been afraid. It hasn’t even entered my mind.

  J: That’s what I thought. ;) See what I did with the winky face, I can do it too.

  D: Fuck you.

  J: Yes, there will be that too, but do you have to make it sound so…dirty?

  D: I’m done.

  J: Oh, Dani, this is just the beginning. Sweet dreams.

  I power my phone down. What the hell was all of that? Why did I engage him like that? Shit, shit, shit! Maybe he isn’t James Bond after all, and he is his evil twin. Yes, that must be it. Great, I’m never leaving my apartment. Never again. I run and hide under my covers. But, this teeny tiny part of me isn’t afraid. I don’t know what it is, but it is definitely not fear.

  Anthony

  ◆◆◆

  Everything is almost in place. Dani has been MIA since our text conversation. Well, she isn’t really missing, she is hiding in her apartment. But, her friends and I have been busy. I want this done right. This may be the only chance she has to fight this thing eating at her. She said she had no friends but Mrs. Chan and the residents at Sunnybrook all love her, they are her friends she just doesn’t see it.

  When she didn’t call Luis, I was giddy with excitement. She unknowingly picked me by not making that call. I wasn’t surprised. I’ve done my research and have a pretty good idea what she is going through. She is afraid of everything and I am afraid of nothing. Perfect match, I’ll bring her over to the dark side and fight this demon with her.

  What did throw me off was seeing her the first time on her way to the nursing facility. At first I thought I missed something. I wondered if she had a roommate. But, as she walked by my car her green cat like eyes shifted my direction and I knew it was her. Holy fuck. She looked hot as hell. Hot and sweet. Polar opposite of the get-up she had on the night in the bar.

  After she left the nursing home I went inside and spoke to the receptionist. She told me that Dani came once a week to paint or draw for the residents. She kindly sent me to Miss Dorothy’s room. Dorothy and I hit it off right away. Sharp as a tack she is. The art donning her wall took my breath away. Danielle is extremely talented.

  Dorothy told me that Dani had been coming to visit them for several years. She also told me that all of the artwork on her walls were of actual people or places and Dani created the pieces without ever seeing them in person. She showed me a sketch of her deceased husband, Frank. Then she pulled out the drawing Dani created of him. When she told me, Dani had never seen the photo or met Frank in person my mouth dropped open. “She has a knack for seeing things as we describe them to her, it’s like a sixth sense or something,” Dorothy said.

  It is going to be fun getting to know her. I have a lot in store for our time together. Her friends are all on board now that I have showed them my credentials. It took some convincing to get my friends to agree to all this. They thought I was nuts but since life is full of nutty decisions they all agreed to do their part when and if I need them. I couldn’t very well take Dani away and leave her current life hanging. I needed her people to help me, help her if that makes sense. So, now everyone is on the same page.

  They don’t know all of my plans. Sure, they know I’m going to move her into my place and push her boundaries. Yep, I’m going to make her jump off bridges…literally. Make her go far enough in the ocean that her feet don’t touch the ground. Take her higher than she has ever been and make her peek over the edge. But, what they don’t know is that I’m going to adjust the very margins of her soul, her pleasure, her pain. Yes, we are going to have so much fun.

  My phone beeps. Speak of the devil.

  D: Is it too late for option A?

  A: Not too late, you can ALWAYS talk to me. Pick you up in an hour for dinner.

  I wondered how long it would take her to cave. I bet the fear of waiting for me to take her has been awful but, it forced her to step out despite her fear and message me. Some of my “therapy” will be noticeable to her, some will not. This was a case of her not seeing it. I wouldn’t have taken her. She is right I’m not that kind of man. I’m not a good man but I’m definitely not a take a girl against her will type. She is the one that will be making the decisions with little nudges along the way from me, she won’t even know it’s happening.

  D: Umm, I can make you something here at my place. Are you allergic to peanut butter?

  I laugh as I type.

  A: No, I’m not but I’m also not letting you cook for me. You might poison me.

  D: Why would I do that?

  A: Because you know I’m going to make you do things you think you don’t want to do.

  D: You are incorrect. You think you are going to make me do things I know I don’t want to do.

  A: Touché. Doesn’t change anything. Be ready in an hour.

  This is exciting, exhilarating and exactly what I’ve been needing.

  Chapter Five

  Danielle

  ◆◆◆

  After weeks of waiting for James to appear I couldn’t take it anymore and messaged him. It only took me three hours of staring at my phone before I did it. Now he is coming to take me to dinner. Fuck. I had to do something. Waiting for him to show up, staring into the shadows, anticipating him to jump out at me, it was just too much. I had to do something. But, now I’m faced with having to go out in public, to a fucking restaurant. I haven’t gone out to dinner since…well I can’t remember it’s been so long. It was before I ran from Ted.

  I had to put on my armor. I can’t go to a restaurant without it. He didn’t give me much time. An hour. One stinking hour. At one time I prayed for someone like James to force me out, to force me past my fear but now I’m not so sure. Part of me wishes I had never bumped into him again. This has really gotten out of hand. I need to stop this before it goes any further. Yes, I need to stop it now. I’ll tell him I’ve decided to try the immersion therapy and that I don’t need his help. Perfect, yes, that is my plan. I don’t even need to go to dinner or let him into my apartment for that matter.

  The knock at the door jolts me from my thoughts. Oh god he is here. I open the door just enough to peek out at him. He smiles flashing me a brilliant view of his pearly whites. Why? Why does
he have to be so damn attractive?

  “Ready?” he asks.

  “Um, I’m sorry you came all this way but I’ve decided to give immersion therapy a try so I will not be needing any…help,” I cough out the last word. “So, thank you again. If it doesn’t work maybe I’ll call, um…I’ll call your friend Luis.” As I push the door closed his foot shoots between it and the frame stopping me from shutting him out. My stomach does a funny thing, like I’m dropping down in an elevator at an alarming speed. So much so that I release my hold on the door and stumble back a few steps. James takes the opportunity to stride in and then quietly closes the door behind him.

  “I think you should know right off the bat that I have an uncanny ability to detect lies and that my dear was one. big. fat. lie.”

  “I can’t do this James.”

  He cocks his head to one side looking at me thoughtfully. “Did you just call me James?”

  I toss my head back to stare at the ceiling. What an idiot I am. “I’m sorry. I…”

  He laughs but doesn’t make a move to come any further into my apartment. “Why James?”

  “Um, you remind me of James Bond. You know with the suit and all.” I gesture up and down his body, flushing from my embarrassment. “And there is the fact that you know, you kinda saved me that night at the bar. I’m sorry, I guess I should have taken the time to find out your name.” I look down at my hands. My knuckles are turning white from the death grip I have on one of my kitchen chairs.

  He laughs heartily at this. “How flattering but I am not nearly as admirable as James Bond.”

  I glance up at him and he winks. I turn another shade of pink and look back at my hands.

  “My name is Anthony.” He takes a step forward and I take one back dragging the chair with me.

  “Anthony.” I roll the name over my tongue and peek at him again. Yes, I see it now, he could be an Anthony. Of course, he is, he just told you what his name was. This might take some getting used to because for the last eight years I have been calling him James. Wait. No getting used to it, he is leaving, and this will be the last time I will need to use his name.

  “So, is this,” he gestures up and down my body just like I did his a second ago, “the real you or is the woman I see going to Sunnybrook the real Danielle?”

  “Um, Anthony, I’m sorry but this isn’t going to work.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  I look down at my black ‘fuck you’ t-shirt and the jeans I have on with safety pins adorning the little material there is to cling to. “Um, this is what I wear to keep people away.”

  “So, the girl in the sundress is the real you?”

  “I guess.”

  “I would like you either way. Just because you dress in black with tattoos, piercings and a so eloquently worded ‘fuck you’ message on the front of your shirt, it would still not keep me away. It didn’t keep the men at the bar away either,” he adds dryly. “But, I want the real you and since this is not it, I want it gone. So, I’ll wait while you go and remove all of that.” He gestures again over me with the flick of his finger as he walks over and throws himself onto my couch.

  “I’m not going to dinner. I said I’m not doing this.”

  “You are but I can see how hard this is for you so we will compromise. You will change then we will go to my place and I’ll cook for you. No crowds, no need for you to hide behind all that black. It will just be the two of us and I already know the truth, so you have no need to veil yourself.

  “You could cook for me here.” I suggest. Why am I trying to negotiate with him and not demanding that he leave? Dammit, I don’t need this.

  “Nope, besides this will give you an opportunity to see where you will be living for the next year.”

  I chew on my bottom lip halting the tears that are threating. I am NOT a crier. I have only cried twice in my life that I can remember. Once at the auction when James, I mean Anthony saved me. And, the second time was the day we found my dad. I cried for five days straight that time. Cried so much that I ended up in the hospital. They pumped me full of crap to numb my pain, gave me fluids and then sent me home. Sent me home to a mother who was grieving even more than I was. Sent me home with a bag full of pills and the phone number to a grief support group.

  I will absolutely not cry, ever again. Never. It won’t happen. No. Way. If I do, it will be the end because there is a lifetime of tears built up and I am sure that I will cry myself to death. It almost happened once…I’m not going to risk a second go at it. Besides the time at the auction doesn’t really count because the tears were just falling out, I wasn’t really cry, crying. No. But, this man sitting on my couch is infuriating! Why won’t he leave me alone.

  “No TV?” He looks around pretending that he has not noticed that I haven’t moved to do as he asked.

  “I don’t like TV. It gives me a headache.”

  He grunts as he stretches his arms out on the back of my sofa like he is the king of the castle. But, this is my castle!

  “I don’t like TV either. So, what do you do to keep busy?”

  I release the grip on my kitchen chair and place my hands on my hips going around to stand before him.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “What? Relaxing on your couch. I’m doing it while I wait for you to change.”

  “You know what I mean. I’m not going with you so you may as well leave.”

  He leans forward and reaches out grabbing one of my hands gently yanking it off my hip. “Sit. Please,” he says in the same tone that he used all those years ago when he called me princess.

  So.

  I sit.

  Crap, am I really that easy?

  “Tell me one thing that doesn’t scare you?” He dips his head trying to capture my eyes.

  I don’t know why I answer the way I do. But, there is one thing that I know doesn’t scare me, so I answer. “You.”

  He jerks back slightly, surprised by my answer but he recovers quickly. I can’t meet his eyes. I just stare at his thumb running back and forth over my hand.

  “You have my word that we will go to my home and nothing more will happen. You and I will have a nice dinner together. I will bring you home as soon as the meal is over if that is what you want. We will eat and talk, nothing more.”

  His touch is poking at my tear ducts. So, I pull my hand away and rise from the couch needing to put some space between us. “Okay,” I whisper. He nods once and I turn towards the bathroom to wash away my barricade.

  Once I’m in the bathroom I realize I can’t close the door. Oh, the joys of my phobia. So, I leave it open just a crack. I work as quickly as I can. As I watch the black hair dye swirl at my feet I take a deep breath. James, I mean Anthony isn’t going anywhere but how long will it last before he gets tired of me and my phobia’s. I can’t even shut the fucking bathroom door.

  I just need to take a minute and think about this. He is a good man, even Dorothy and Mrs. Chan think so. He saved me not once but twice. We are only going to his home to eat and to talk. This is my chance to talk to him about whatever this grand plan of his is. He could have just thrown me over his shoulder and taken me, but he didn’t. Maybe this could work. What do I have to lose?

  When I exit the bathroom, he is exactly where I left him. He is fiddling on his phone. He looks up and gives me that panty melting smile. No wonder Mrs. Chan and Dorothy were swayed by him. “Much better,” he says as he stands tipping his arm out for me to take.

  When we get to the door, I tug at his arm to stop him. “You promise that right after we eat you will bring me home?”

  “If that is what you want, yes.”

  I nod my head and we head out into the warm California sunlight. When we get to the bottom of the steps Mrs. Chan comes out of the salon to shake out her welcome mat. She salutes Anthony and winks at me. “Good. Nice man, Dani. You see.” She tips her head down and back up again to shoo us along.

  As Anthony opens the door fo
r me, he chuckles. “Is there a Mr. Chan? Because if there is he deserves a fucking medal. I bet she is a lot to handle.” I offer him a tiny smile as he shuts the door.

  Breathe, Dani, just breathe. There is nothing to be afraid of. When he gets in the other side my fear subsides somewhat. He has that effect on me. I’m not afraid of him. I’m not. What I’m afraid of is what he is going to want me to do to get over my fears. Or, maybe I’m afraid he won’t be able to help me at all, my heart sinks with this realization. I glance at him as he shifts gears.

  “My friends are going to get a kick out of you nicknaming me James.” He laughs.

  “Well, I’m sure you had quite the name for me when you saw me gulp down that wonderful concoction at the bar. Idiot, dummy, fool…” I say sullenly. Friends he has friends, he and I are on such different levels. What the hell am I doing in his car, going to his house?

  “No, but I did nickname you goth girl but see we were both wrong which shows you that you should never judge a book by the cover.” He reaches over and takes my hand in his. His warmth brings those damn tears so near to the surface, why? I pull my hand out of his and shift to look out my window. He doesn’t reach out to touch me again.

  “Do you live far?”

  “Not really but with traffic it might seem like it. Forty minutes maybe. It gives us some time to visit, to get to know each other.”

  “Why do you want to help me?”

  “Because I like you and you need it.”

  “Would you have really kidnapped me?”

  He laughs. “I guess we will never know will we? You finally overcame your fear and messaged me for Option A.”

  I snort, wow, how attractive, Dani. “You think you are pretty smart don’t you?”

  “Thinking and knowing are two different things. I don’t think, I know.”

  I giggle an actual fucking girly, flirty giggle. “You are really full of yourself.”

  “Hey, I’m not the one who compared me to James Bond.”

  “So, what do you do Mr. Bond? Do you always rescue damsels in distress?” I already know the answer to this, and it’s yes, yes he does.