Wicked Knight

by Sawyer Bennett

  “I can’t imagine the guilt you’ve felt,” I murmur sorrowfully. “I wish I could say or do something to alleviate that for you, but I don’t know what to do.”

  He shakes his head. “You can’t do anything. It’s on me to deal with it. I’ve kept that picture as a reminder of the pain I felt when I found her. Of the anger I felt because I was pissed at her. As a reminder that I won’t ever get in that position again.”

  I don’t know what to say to this. I mean, these are the sorts of things I knew about Asher. He’s withdrawn from life to some extent, and he’s closed himself off to so many things that could put his emotions at risk of hurt.

  I lay it out there, so he knows I understand. “You’ve cut yourself off from relationships, so you won’t get hurt again. It’s why you go to a sex club. Why you wanted to keep distance from me. I understand it. I really do.”

  We stare at each other a moment while the words hang in the air.

  Then, Asher steps into me, sliding one hand to the back of my neck. Peering down at me, he asks, “Do you think you could free up a night sometime in the next week to have a night out with me? And I’m not talking about to the club. I was thinking dinner. Maybe a movie.”

  An amazing feeling of hope and light fills me that this man is really putting his past in a drawer and is taking that first tentative step outside of the fortress he’s built up around himself.

  “Yes,” I tell him with a firm nod of my head. “Nelson is going to take Hope from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon, so if that works for you?”

  “It works great,” he says, and then his mouth is on mine. It’s so atypical of the type of hot kissing we normally engage in. It’s thoughtful, somewhat hesitant, and yet there’s no mistaking the yearning within it.

  My chest constricts, and I am fully aware I’ve fallen for this man. I have to admit it now—at least to myself—since he’s taken the huge step of opening up to me.

  And despite the hell I went through getting out of my marriage with Nelson, and with being bullied and intimidated by him, I don’t find myself hesitant at all in giving myself to Asher. I trust that he will not hurt me the way Nelson did.

  I just don’t think he has it in him, to be honest.

  My arms go around his neck. While I make the kiss no sexier than what it is, I want him to feel from it that I’m ready for him to take that risk with me.

  CHAPTER 23

  Asher

  Hannah’s pussy squeezes my dick so hard I believe she might be coming again. That knowledge sends me over the edge, and I plant deep inside of her before I explode.

  My forehead drops to hers and I groan out the release, relishing the ripples of pleasure that roll up my spine.

  “Goddamn,” I huff out as I let some of my body weight down onto her.

  Those beautiful eyes of hers flutter open, locking right onto me. One corner of her mouth pulls up into a smirk. “You outdid yourself that time.”

  I can feel my ego swelling. “Did you come a third time?”

  She nods with a dopey grin on her face. It makes me laugh as I gather her in my arms and roll us to the side.

  We’re practically nose to nose as we settle in, still trembling and huffing from that marathon of a fuck-fest. Christ, I think Hannah has completely ensnared me into her web of sexuality laced sweetness. I’m pretty confident sex with anyone else would be so lackluster I’d want to become a monk.

  “Stay the night?” I ask.

  “Okay,” she replies with a tiny smile. My arms squeeze her to me a little tighter.

  Tonight was perfect. Despite the fact we’ve been having sex for weeks, I was still anxious over what would be our first true date. It had all felt a bit new to me.

  Nelson had picked up Hope this morning, and Hannah spent most of the day looking at new housing for them. I spent the day watching the clock tick by while working at the office because I have no life and nothing better to do.

  And then it was time for our date, and the evening was a revelation.

  Hannah dressed up—classy, not sexy—and looked magical. We had an amazing dinner that lasted almost three hours, not because the food was slow but because the conversation was never ending. While I’ve been able to put together bits and pieces of Hannah over the last several weeks, I finally got the complete picture tonight.

  Let me tell you… she’s a force to be reckoned with.

  She grew up dirt poor in rural South Carolina with an absentee father and a mother who worked her hands to the bone to put food on the table. Hannah had to work at an early age while helping to raise her siblings. She told me she felt incredible guilt when she met Nelson, had a whirlwind romance, and then realized that meant she’d have to move back to Vegas where he was from. She felt terrible leaving her family behind.

  Throughout it all, the one thing they were never lacking was love. It’s an interesting juxtaposition to my family. We had all the money in the world and lived a lavish lifestyle, yet we weren’t overly close as a unit. Sure, our mother was loving, and Christina and I were close because we’re twins, but that was it. I can tell, though… Hannah, her mom, and her brothers were a team.

  She misses them terribly. Had it not been for Nelson insisting Hope stay here, she would have gone back with her daughter.

  To my surprise, Hannah declined my suggestion we see a movie after dinner. I was trying to do a classic first date, but Hannah was done with it.

  “Let’s go to your place and get naked,” she murmured in my ear as we were standing outside the valet stand at the restaurant waiting for my car. She was tucked into my side, both of her arms wrapped around my one. “We’ve not had a lot of time together, and I miss you.”

  A bolt of lust hit me, and something inside my chest seemed to stretch and awaken. Hannah missed sex with me, but I believe she also just missed me. Our time together this week on her new schedule was sparse for sure.

  She was able to put into a few simple, honest words how I had been feeling. I had missed her, too.

  So here we are, having just achieved maximum orgasms, and I’m not sure why I deserve this goodness in my life right now. I fucked up my first real relationship and never asked for a second chance. Yet, here it is, and I’ve tentatively reached for it.

  “Asher,” Hannah murmurs, pulling me out of my reminiscence. I focus in on her beautiful face. “How upset would you be if I looked for another job?”

  “You mean a second job?” I ask curiously. “Do you need more money?”

  “No,” she says as her eyes cut sideways a second before coming back to me. “A whole new job. Not working for you.”

  This is shocking, and it causes me to rise to an elbow so I can look down at her with better clarity. “Don’t you like what you do?”

  “That’s a loaded question,” she replies as she props herself up, putting her on equal footing with me as we stare at each other. “This basically started as sex for money, plain and simple. We’ve couched it in terms of a job, and sure, I clean your place because I can’t fuck you forty hours a week.”

  “That would be great if you could,” I point out.

  She grins and brings a hand to my chest, where she presses her palm to my skin. “You’re not paying me for sex anymore, though. We’ve moved past that, but I can’t in good conscience take that type of money from you for twenty hours a week cleaning your place. It feels… wrong.”

  I blink, hating what she says but also understanding it. Hannah has pride. She’s got an incredible work ethic. She’s not the type who wants a white knight swooping in and pulling her up from despair. She’d rather just have him reach a hand out and give her a little boost, which I’ve already done.

  To continue would be degrading to her self-esteem.

  I get it.

  “Hannah,” I say gently. “You can’t make that type of money somewhere else with just one job. You’d have to go back to three. That’s impossible as you have Hope.”

  “Well, I can’t let you be my sugar dadd
y,” she snaps with a fierce glare.

  “God, you’re fucking adorable when you’re mad,” I say before I plant a swift, hard kiss to her mouth.

  She glares harder, and I laugh. “What if I were to offer you a job at Knight Investment Group that would be comparable with the salary you’re making? I’d also offer you and Hope health and dental as well as a 401K.”

  I get more blinking, but it doesn’t stop and goes beyond just surprise. Before I know it, she’s blinking back tears.

  “Oh no,” I say in a panic, placing a hand on her shoulder and patting her awkwardly. “Oh no you don’t. Don’t start crying on me.”

  “I’m sorry,” she sniffs as she wipes at her cheeks. “It’s just… I could never thank you enough for the opportunities you’ve given me. It’s because of you I have my daughter back.”

  Hannah really doesn’t know just how true that is because I’ve never told her about my deal with Nelson, and he’s clearly not said anything to her.

  I can’t stand to see the pure, raw emotion on her face. It’s too much to handle, so I pull her back into my arms and tuck her face into my chest where I let her cry for a bit.

  “Will you accept my offer?” I ask.

  Hannah pulls back, her eyes still a little shiny but I can tell she’s back in control. “I’m not qualified for much, Asher. I’ve got some basic secretarial skills, which is what I did until we had Hope. Then I was a stay-at-home mom.”

  “Then I’ll find you a basic secretarial job within the company,” I assure her.

  “Not at what you’re paying me, though,” she says with a shake of her head. “I’m actually getting good child support from Nelson, so I don’t have to make that type of salary.”

  “Not budging on that, Hannah,” I tell her firmly. “It’s what you’re paid now, and what you’ve given me has been worth ten times as much.”

  “Orgasms aren’t worth that much,” she says dryly.

  “You know fucking good and well I’m not talking about orgasms,” I say quietly. “Just accept the offer as is and let’s move on, okay?”

  She nibbles at her lip. Of course, that makes me want to fuck her again. But I wait patiently for her answer. An idea seems to strike her. “Maybe I could still clean your place on the weekends or something?”

  One of my eyebrows arches, and I just stare at her.

  “Okay, maybe not,” she amends.

  “Just say yes,” I order.

  “And if I don’t?” she challenges, a spark of defiance in her eyes that turns me on.

  “You get the palm of my hand,” I tell her ominously.

  “Then I most definitely will not say yes,” she says with a smile, and that’s all I need to hear. I crush my mouth to hers, pulling back to bite at her lip.

  “Going to redden your ass good,” I promise.

  “God, I hope so,” she purrs in return.

  CHAPTER 24

  Hannah

  I pull a hanger holding a lavender-colored shift dress that I’ve had since before Hope was born out of my closet. I think I bought it to attend a spring picnic at Nelson’s company.

  I’m fairly sure the style is still relevant, and it’s in decent shape since I’ve only worn it a handful of times over the years. Incredibly lucky to have lost all the weight I’d gained with my pregnancy, I don’t bother to try it on. Instead, I move to the bed and lay it across the top of the pile of clothes I’ll keep.

  I’m moving this weekend to a new apartment. After which, I’ll start my new job at Knight Investment Group on Monday. I’m terrified and thrilled at the same time. And it’s sad to say, but at the age of twenty-seven, I’m finally feeling like a full-fledged adult. I’m single momming it with Hope and I’ll be working in a professional job, which gives me a nice boost to my self-esteem. Another thing I’m grateful to Asher for.

  “Mommy,” Hope says as she comes into my bedroom, holding up one of her dolls. “I can’t find her pink dress with the sparkly stuff on it.”

  “Hope,” I say in a stern voice as I turn back to my closet. “You’re supposed to be putting your toys into the boxes.”

  My daughter walks to my bed, finds a space without clothing, and flops down dramatically. “It’s so hard to pack. Can you help me?”

  Since my back is to Hope, I can let loose the amused smile that comes to my face. I really didn’t expect her to do much, but I thought it was good to give her some responsibility in helping with the move.

  But bottom line… she’s five and would rather play than pack, and that’s something I’m cool with. I don’t want her growing up too fast on me.

  “I’ll help you finish tomorrow as it’s getting close to your bedtime,” I say as I pull out a floral-print skirt in pastel colors. How did I end up with such light colors in my closet? Was I a sweet and timid woman, which is how this clothing is making me feel?

  I personally feel like I’m more edgy.

  Definitely sexy after some of the clothing that Asher has had me wear to The Wicked Horse.

  Still, I put it in the “keep” pile. I need to have as many “work” clothes as I can because I can’t afford a new wardrobe.

  Turning to Hope, I say, “Go brush your teeth and get your jammies on.”

  “Okay,” she chirps and hops off the bed. She clutches her doll under one arm, the pink sparkle dress completely forgotten.

  “Thanks, honey,” I murmur as she runs out of my room. I’m not sure if all kids are like this but Hope always seems to run to wherever she’s going, especially if she’s on a mission. Perhaps that’s a sign of motivation.

  I pull out a few more outfits, deem one to be worthy of keeping and put two into the donation pile. It’s a pain in the ass to have to pack up this house, but I’m using the opportunity to purge a lot of stuff. I’m lightening up because I’ve got a fresh start.

  The apartment I found is incredible. It’s about ten minutes from my new job and fifteen minutes closer to Asher. It’s in a great school district and by all reviews, it’s quiet and safe.

  Leaving my packing, I head down to Hope’s room. I like to get her to sleep by eight, but it takes a bit of unwinding so I have her jammied up and teeth brushed by seven thirty. Our bedtime ritual is always the same.

  My daughter scrambles under the covers and I pull them up to her chest, tucking them in tight around her.

  “Mommy,” Hope says in a tone that says something’s on her mind.

  “What’s up, buttercup?” I reply playfully.

  She doesn’t smile. Instead, she asks in a hesitant voice, “Will I have to go back and live with Daddy?”

  “You mean like full time?”

  She nods, her face a mix of hope and fear.

  “I don’t think so, honey,” I tell her carefully. “You’re with me now, but you’ll visit Daddy on some nights.”

  “I don’t want to go back there to live,” she says fiercely. “He never pays attention to me. Always just has me watch TV while he works or talks to his girlfriends.”

  I internally wince at the plural of “girlfriend” as I know Nelson has had a revolving door and it was confusing to Hope.

  “And if he’s not working or with a girlfriend, he’s always looking at his phone,” she continues.

  What in the hell is wrong with my ex? How could he think anything in the world was more important or interesting than his own daughter? I could just stare at her for hours while she slept, because that’s better than anything else I could ever be doing.

  “I won’t let it happen,” I vow to her. “You’re with me forever. You’ll still spend time with Daddy each week, but your home is with me, okay?”

  “Okay,” she says with a relieved smile, and I hope I can keep that promise. I have no clue if Nelson would ever go back on his deal with me, but I would bleed for my daughter not to go back to him. I think he loves her, but not the way I do.

  “Make your picks,” I tell her, and she names the three books she wants me to read tonight.

  After I massage
her imagination with tales of princesses, Pooh, and wild things, I turn out her bedside lamp. Her room still glows as we have two night lights plugged in and she wants her bedroom door open and the hall light left on.

  Ever since Hope was a baby, I’ve sang her to sleep. I don’t have the best voice in the world, but it’s apparently soothing as she usually barely makes it three songs before she’s out.

  Settling onto the side of her bed, I place my hand on her chest as I start to sing. She always watches me carefully with big solemn eyes. Her lips curve into a sleepy smile, and I’m no more than a few lines into the third song before her eyes grow heavy and close. I continue singing until I hear that deep steady breathing that shows she’s out, and then I lean over and brush my lips against her forehead.

  I will never, ever take this time with her for granted. It’s the most special part of my day.

  Quietly standing from Hope’s bed, I ease out into the hallway. Just as I’m back in my closet, looking at the next outfit, I hear a knock on the door. It’s sharp and demanding.

  I go cold for a moment because in the year I’ve been living here, no one has ever come to my door after dark apart from that one night Asher came by when I was sick. The wise people in this neighborhood go indoors at night, and the only ones out usually are the troublemakers.

  Without hesitation, I retrieve my shotgun out of the locked cabinet in my closet and quickly check to ensure it’s loaded. I know it is, but still… always check.

  Padding softly to the door, I quietly lean in and put my eye up to the peep hole. My entire body relaxes all at once to see it’s not a gang member—not that they’d ever knock on my door if they wanted something—but rather my ex-husband.

  I unlock the door and open it. “What are you doing here?” I ask curiously, then move to the side as a silent invitation to enter.

  “I came by to see Hope.” Nelson rolls his eyes when he sees the gun. I ignore his dismissal of my need for security and say, “I’ll be right back.”