A Selfish Kind of Love

by Bella Jay

  She played with the necklace Kyree had given her for her birthday. She rarely took it off. “I want to be respectful of Ky’s space. Me showing up could make him uncomfortable or—”

  “Sounds to me like you’re scared of what might happen if you go.”

  More like terrified of Kyree giving her his ass to kiss again.

  “Ky’s brother is not going to invite his brother’s ex to his wedding on some bullshit,” she continued. “You said they’re close. Which means he has something up his sleeve or he knows something we don’t. Go get your man, girl!”

  Tessah huffed. “I don’t even have clothes to attend a wedding.”

  “I might have gotten pregnant in college but I still graduated magna cum laude… and I call bullshit on your excuses. So, I’m going to say this one more time.” She stuffed a piece of cheese in her mouth. “Go. Get. Your. Man.”

  ❖❖❖

  She commanded every room she walked into and Kyree’s body responded to it the way it had since they’d crossed the line from enemies to friends.

  Nine months ago he’d never imagine he’d look at her the way he did as he took her in. With undeniable love and desire. There was no one else for him like her and he no longer denied it.

  As the reception continued, he watched her waiting for the right moment for him to approach her.

  “You’re being creepy as fuck.”

  Kyree rolled his eyes. “You aggy as fuck so…”

  Shayla snarled. “You gonna say something to her?”

  “You did.”

  “See, creepy.”

  Kyree tittered. “Where is your dude to keep you away from me?”

  “Acting a fool on the dance floor. Anyway, I apologized to her for any animosity I mayyy have shown.”

  Kyree narrowed his eyes at his cousin. “May have?”

  “What can I say… I get it from my mama.”

  Facts. “I’ma go talk to her though.”

  “You better hurry. Ryan’s cousin was checking her out.”

  “Don’t make me turn this wedding into a crime scene.”

  “And you have the nerve to talk about me.” Shayla snickered as she strolled off towards the open bar.

  Quint and Ryan’s wedding had been what he needed to remind him of true love and what he didn’t want to miss out on.

  As he made his way over to her table near the dance floor, she peeked over her shoulder right on cue.

  He smiled, and she gave him a small one back.

  “Why we not out there showing them how it’s done?” he asked, nodding his head towards the dance floor.

  Tessah’s head dropped to the side. The face she made when something left her baffled always made him smile. “Why don’t you seem surprised to see me? Quinten must have told you he asked me to come. I hope it’s okay.”

  “I asked him to get you here.”

  “Oh,” she said with lines forming on her forehead. “Why?”

  “I wanted to see you.”

  “Why?

  “Dance with me.” He outstretched his hand, ignoring her question.

  She obliged him. Even rigid, her body near his still affected his soul.

  “We closed on the deal for opening the boxing gym in Miami,” he announced.

  “Cool. I’m sure you two are excited.”

  “Yeah. But, someone needs to be down there while everything gets going.”

  “Makes sense.” Tessah’s eyes bounced everywhere but on him as they swayed to the music.

  “Quint wants me to take point on it since the one here is his baby.”

  “Oh.” Kyree smirked because she still hadn’t picked up on his point.

  “Are you hearing what I’m saying?”

  “To be honest, I’m having a hard time focusing on what you’re saying. I’m confused. Your brother invited me here because you wanted me to be here. But you’re not telling me—”

  “I’m moving to Miami.” Her eyes met his and the twinkles of hope gave him courage to say his next line. “If my girlfriend will give us another shot. I found this nice three bedroom townhouse I’d love her to move into with me.”

  “You’re talking about me?”

  Her question made his body burst with laughter. “Yes. But it’s me and Cherry. If it’s too much to go back to where we left off… I get it.”

  “What about Chan? Won’t she want to see her daughter?”

  “Chan left for Cali a two weeks ago for a rehab program. Besides, someone has to go to Miami anyway, I’d rather it be me if it gives us a chance again.”

  Her brown eyes scanned his face. She had questions, and he planned to give her every answer he could. After Quint had brought him to his senses while in Costa Rica, fixing him and Tessah’s relationship had consumed him. When they closed the deal in Miami, it seemed as if God reaffirmed to him she was his forever. “What changed Ky? The last time we talked you killed any hope for us.”

  Kyree stared at her. “My mindset. I said what I said to protect me but I had to check my pride. After you met my mom, I told her you were it for me. I thought I was going crazy, but she told me, when you know, you know and the road wouldn’t be easy but worth it. Then all the shit happened, and I went back to having my guard up with women. I told myself whatever I felt for you was bull and convinced myself it wasn’t worth it. My wise ass little brother made me realize I hadn’t let go of what you did because of my pride and not because you hurt me. After you were transparent with me, I couldn’t be mad at you but my ego wouldn’t let go of the fact I felt played.”

  She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Is this a proposal?” A hearty laugh full of nerves escaped her throat.

  “Not yet. I can’t say when but I do plan to make you my wife one day if you’ll be my girlfriend again today.” Her wide smile pushed her cheekbones to the corners of her eyes. “What do you think about that?”

  Her eyes swelled with tears as if he’d proposed to her. He almost wished he had because her staring at him with her seductive eyes and sweet kissable lips, he would’ve married her right then and there.

  “It’s not what I think it’s what I know.”

  “And what’s that?” He licked his lips.

  She drew him to her and whispered against his lips, “That I love you.”

  Epilogue

  October

  Almost 5 Months Later

  “Love is not something you go out and look for. Love finds you, and when it does, ready or not, it’ll be the best thing to ever happen to you.” — Unknown

  A YEAR AND FOUR days ago, Tessah went on a date that changed her whole path in life. Back then, she knew the boss ass chick she wanted to be. A woman who used men and ate them for breakfast while enjoying her best life. The best life she thought she wanted was chump change to the one she had.

  Happiness radiated from her as she sat in Adalyn and Avelyn’s aunt’s backyard where her and Kyree had invited their closest friends and family for a BBQ. His mom and family were in town for the weekend and they thought it was the perfect time to gather everyone they loved.

  “Leave me alone Waze,” Adalyn groaned, loudly. Everyone got on her nerves and Tessah couldn’t be mad. She was six days overdue, and her demeanor screamed she was over the pregnancy.

  “Girl, calm your nerves,” her aunt, Konstance, yelled. “Waze ain’t do nothing to you.”

  “Thank you Konnie.” Waze smiled her way while Adalyn shot him the bird and he stuck his tongue at her. Waze was Adalyn’s friend who swooped in and took Landon’s place. They were cute. Tessah sometimes scolded herself for rooting for Adalyn and Waze when her best friend still wasn’t over her. However, Landon had made his bed multiple times, and he had to lie in it.

  She missed his face though and wished at least one of her closest friends could have attended their impromptu shindig. But Landon was stuck in Orlando, and Gynah had only given birth eight weeks ago to a gorgeous baby boy. Thankfully, she still received nothing but love from those who were there.

  H
er relationship with Adalyn over the last couple months had changed and her and Avelyn bonded a lot as future sister-in-laws. Dasiah and her relationship couldn’t be better aside from the fact he sometimes acted like her daddy but she loved him all the same for it.

  “Your mom here yet?” she asked Kyree, wrapping her arms around him.

  He pulled her onto his lap and planted a kiss on her lips. His mauve full lips on hers never got old. “She’s on the way with Cherry. They got delayed because they were video chatting with Chan.”

  “Good. I’m sure Cherry talked her to death.”

  “Better her than us,” Kyree said with a snicker.

  “Facts!”

  “We are not shit.”

  “At all,” Tessah agreed. Chandra’s journey to a better her had been going well and she would leave her rehab center at the end of the month. Tessah had no clue how it would affect their situation but she’d stand by her man on whatever he decided with what was best for Cherry.

  Cherry had wiggled her way right into Tessah’s heart and she loved her unconditionally. The past four months had been an adjustment taking on the role as a mother figure even though Kyree kept to his word. He didn’t expect her to be Cherry’s parent but falling into the role over the last few months warmed her soul.

  “Quint, Ry, and Shay text they’re almost here though,” he said, pulling her attention back to him.

  “Cool,” she sang.

  “That’s gonna be you one day.” He nodded his head towards Adalyn.

  Tessah winced at the thought of pushing out a life. Cherry would be enough for at least a year or three. “She gotta be having twins.”

  “Most def.”

  “Y’all not right,” Avelyn’s voice made them both jump before laughing. “It’s three of them suckers in there.”

  They all shared a laugh and as if she heard them, Adalyn looked their way, frowning. “I know y’all talking about me!”

  “Girl nobody cares about yo lil adorable butterball ass,” Avelyn taunted her twin.

  Adalyn flipped her off before turning her attention back to Waze.

  “I can’t wait to find out who the daddy.” Kyree rubbed his hands together. Tessah was blown away when she found out Adalyn’s unborn child might not be Landon’s. Karma sometimes had a way of fucking with people.

  “Right!” Tessah and Avelyn said in unison. “I’m rooting for my boo Waze though,” Avelyn added.

  “He a real one, my vote for him too,” Tessah agreed.

  The two women looked at Kyree. “That baby’s Lan’s man.”

  “I almost broke up with you,” Tessah snapped.

  “It ain’t that easy anymore,” he said with a wink and she cheesed. The permanent butterflies embedded in her abdomen, fluttered.

  “Y’all corny.” Avelyn gagged and strolled off. “But I’ma go find my man,” she announced over her shoulder.

  “Haters gon’ hate.” Tessah shrugged.

  “Did you see the email this morning about Caiden?”

  Tessah nodded. They had charged Caiden with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and he’d received five years in prison and a large penalty. “Yes and I’m elated it’s over.”

  “Me too. I can’t wait until his ass gets out though. I’ma—”

  “KY!” She slapped his chest, and he shrugged. “Maybe I’ll be mature in five years. The nigga is crazy.”

  “My hope is by the time he’s released, he will have moved on.”

  “Me too but let’s not even worry. I’ll protect you always.”

  Tessah grinned and leaned into his space. “I know.”

  As the afternoon turned to early evening and everyone had stuffed their stomachs, Kyree gathered their friends and family around him, Tessah, and Cherry.

  “So, if y’all didn’t know, Tuesday made one year since we went on our first date.”

  “Awwww,” a few people coo’d.

  “He’s proposing girl!” Shayla yelled out making Tessah chuckle.

  “And though it’s been some bumps in the road—”

  “Nigga those was full on road blocks.” Quint’s comment had everyone snickering.

  “Anyway. We had some BUMPS but we here and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but beside you.”

  Kyree lowered to one knee with Cherry beside him. He nudged Cherry as she said, “Will you marry us?!”

  Her cuteness sent a wave of awww through the crowd which turned to screams as Tessah nodded her answer with tears streaming down her face.

  The moment wasn’t unexpected but envisioning it and experiencing it were two different things.

  He placed the stunning French-Set halo diamond band platinum engagement ring on her finger before him, her, and Cherry embraced.

  “I love you,” Kyree said.

  “I love you too.” Tessah wiped her lipstick from his lips.

  “And I you!” Cherry exclaimed, making them laugh before he handed her off to Shayla.

  As everyone took pictures and yelled out their congrats, Kyree settled their friends and family.

  “Thank y’all but the thing is…” Kyree gave Tessah a look, and she pulled out another set of rings. “We got married on Tuesday!”

  Gasps mixed with ‘congrats’, ‘oh my gods’, ‘and what he said’ filled the air.

  “I’m Mrs. Kyree Warwick y’all!” Tessah squealed and held up her hand showcasing her wedding band set.

  “WHAT!” Dasiah barked. “Who the fuck made that decision?”

  Tessah dropped her head in her hands. Here he go.

  “Oh lawd,” she heard Avelyn’s voice.

  “Married?” Kyree’s mom voice floated through the chaos.

  Tessah narrowed her eyes at Kyree. They weren’t sure how everyone would take them eloping but they’d woken on Tuesday and did the most spontaneous thing either of them had done.

  They loved each other and after what they’d gone through, they both were confident they had what it took to make it as husband and wife. The last four months they had not only learned more about themselves as a couple through their therapy sessions with Jakei, but also how to better handle the struggles that came with relationships.

  “Lucy your ass got some ’splaning to do!” Quint approached them.

  “What the fuck he said?” Dasiah boomed. “You too young to be married. Y’all just got back together.”

  “I’m a grown woman Siah and love doesn’t have a time.”

  “What kind of Disney bullshit is that?”

  “Hey…” Adalyn said coming into the circle they’d formed.

  “Siah. Chill out,” Avelyn scolded him. “I think it’s dope guys. Congrats!”

  “Can I say something?” Adalyn raised her hand as if she were in class.

  “I told you he would freak,” Kyree whispered in Tessah’s ear, “you owe me a lap dance.”

  “Leave me alone because everyone is freaking. Your mama gon’ beat your ass.” Tessah snickered.

  “Wilamina better get me a wedding gift and go somewhere.”

  “They too damn young,” Dasiah repeated.

  “Helllllo? Is a bitch invisible?” Adalyn questioned.

  “Bro I’m twenty-eight.” Kyree balled up his face.

  “Just because your ass older than me don’t mean you can up and marry my sister.”

  “Congrats bro. I wanna be like y’all one day,” Waze said, dapping Kyree before giving Tessah a hug. “Next babies?”

  Tessah frowned. “Um Cherry is enough.”

  “What she said.” Kyree chuckled.

  “I’m enough what?” Cherry asked.

  “Cuteness in a package,” Kyree said, lifting her up and planting a kiss on her cheek.

  “Dasiah are you done?” Tessah asked her brother who’s chocolate skin glowed red. It was cute he cared so much but she regretted nothing about their decision to jump the broom.

  “Hell nah,” he snapped, making everyone chuckle. “Me and this nigga gone have a lo—”

  “GUYS!�
� Adalyn screeched, grabbing everyone’s attention. “I’m thrilled for y’all and all that jazz but… my water broke.”

  Fin.

  For now…

  :)

  So y’all wanna know who Adalyn’s baby daddy is huh? Well, that soon come!

  The Ways of Love

  Adalyn & Waze

  Fall 2019

  Four Letter Word Questionnaires

  Name: Tessah Dasia Jones

  Age: 21

  Sex: Female

  Month Taken: Early March

  What’s the first four letter word you think of? Loss

  What’s the first four letter word you think of when you think of love? Hope

  What’s the first word you think of when you think of love? Intense.

  Do you think new adults between the ages of 18 and 25 truly understand love? Yeah, I think we do. I didn’t give this much thought a few months ago but having experienced it, we definitely do and it’s a lot.

  Have you ever been in love and are you in love now? I am now for the first time but it’s a mess of a situation because we broke up before I could tell him.

  Do you think people take love for granted? I did. I took people who told me they loved me for granted. It didn’t end well and I’ve learned from my mistakes.

  What four letter word do you think people confuse or associate love with the most? Definitely lust.

  A life without love or A life without sex? As of now, I wouldn’t want a life without love.

  Does fuck equate love? Nope! Sex is just that. Fun not feelings. Love is much different and complicates things in a good and bad way.

  What is something you deeply regret? Does it have anything to do with love? I regret how I went about things in my most recent relationship. It ended because of me and not being open and honest with everyone I cared about. It does have to do with love.