Cross My Heart

by Robin Lee Hatcher

  “All right. All right. I’m coming.”

  A short while later, as she dropped hay into the last of the feed boxes, she heard the sounds of a vehicle slowing on the road. She turned, expecting to see the work crew arriving. They were only a day or two away from completion of the stables and indoor arena. Instead, it was a car, one that looked vaguely familiar. She left the wheelbarrow beside the fence and walked to greet the visitor.

  The driver wasn’t just any visitor. Ashley recognized Wendy Henning as soon as she stepped from the vehicle. “Ms. Henning,” she said as she drew closer.

  The woman turned, her expression sour. “Where’s Ben?”

  “He isn’t here today. He had a job to do.”

  “Why are you here?”

  Ashley hesitated a moment. “I work here.”

  “You work here? Doing what?” Wendy Henning’s gaze was dismissive at best.

  “I’m the barn manager. I take care of the horses.”

  “And you get paid for that?” She looked away. “I knew he was a fool when it came to money.”

  Ashley’s temper flared. She fought to keep it out of her voice. “Your son isn’t a fool, Ms. Henning. He’s a man with a vision.”

  “I wouldn’t expect a woman who’s sleeping with him to say anything else.”

  She drew back. “I’m not sleeping with Ben.”

  “What’s the matter?” His mom’s eyebrows went up. “Not good enough for you? Not rich enough, maybe.”

  Ashley realized the other woman was baiting her, that no matter what she said, it would be turned against her. A fast retreat seemed the best option. “Excuse me. I’ve got work to do.” She turned on her heel.

  “Wait up.”

  She drew in a steadying breath before turning around again.

  “Tell him that he won.”

  Ashley tried not to let on that she understood what that meant. Ben had shared a little about his mother’s threats the day after the appraiser had come to the farm. Grandpa Grant, according to Ben’s attorney, wasn’t in any real danger of being found incompetent. There was too much evidence to the contrary and more than one medical professional willing to attest to that fact. Still, Ben had been afraid his mother would press on to the bitter end out of spite.

  “Tell him I quit. I’d fight for it, but then the attorneys would take it all anyway.”

  Somehow Ashley kept from smiling. “I’ll tell him.” But after Ben’s mom got back into her car and drove away, Ashley did a happy dance right in the middle of the barnyard. She waved her arms up high and shouted, “Thank You, Jesus!” For the first time, she understood what others felt when they did the same.

  Still grinning, she turned and headed for her office in the barn. As she stepped through the doorway, she saw something on her desk. A box, wrapped in shiny silver paper and decorated with a pearlescent ribbon and bow. Her heart gave a little flutter as she stepped toward it. A square envelope was slipped beneath the ribbon. She opened it and removed the card.

  For Ashley. May you be blessed. Ben and Grant.

  Wondering what they’d given her, she slid the ribbon from the package and removed the paper. Inside was a box that held a Bible, the leather a dark-burgundy color. She took it from the box and pressed it against her chest. Tears welled unexpectedly. The Bible she’d been reading since becoming a follower of Christ was one she’d found in a secondhand store. She’d never owned a brand-new one, and she was profoundly moved that this was what the two men had given her.

  She sank onto her chair, set the Bible on the desk, and carefully opened it to the middle, pressing gently on each side. Then she began slowly working her way, a few pages at a time, toward the front and back covers. Her dad, a great lover of books, had taught her this method when she was no more than five or six years old. “Do it this way,” he’d said, “and you’ll break in a book without ever ruining its spine.” She’d never forgotten the lesson, and she never acquired a new bound book without taking the time needed to prepare it for reading. It seemed all the more important because this was a Bible.

  A short while later she came to an attached ribbon marker, folded between two pages. She stopped long enough to straighten it between index finger and thumb, and that’s when she saw a small sticky note had been added to the page. Remember this, Ashley, had been scrawled in black ink onto the pale-yellow paper, along with an arrow pointing upward. Her gaze slid to the verse above the note.

  “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

  The words seemed to coil around her heart and warm her soul.

  * * *

  Traffic was heavy as Ben drove along the freeway at three o’clock that afternoon. He’d completed the repairs he was hired to do in record time. Determined to get home before Ashley left for the day, he hadn’t even taken time to eat lunch, as evidenced by the audible growl from his belly as he took the freeway exit and turned onto Meridian Road.

  More than once during the day, he’d thought about calling Ashley. Not that he had a reason to, other than wanting to hear her voice. Sometimes he second-guessed his decisions when it came to her. One moment he believed firmly that he needed to give her time to find her way. Others he feared his hesitation, his patience, would allow her to walk away from him for good, that he would never have a chance to change her mind, to win her heart.

  When he turned into the driveway, a weight lifted off his chest. Her pickup was still parked near the barn. There were also several other vehicles that belonged to the construction crew. And it was the foreman, Jerry Castle, who walked toward Ben as soon as he’d stepped out of his truck.

  “Good news, Ben,” the man said. “We’re finished.”

  “Really? I thought it was going to be another day or two.”

  “Nope. We’re done.” He looked toward the new stables. “We’re packing up our gear now and doing the last of the cleanup. Want to have a look?”

  “Sure.”

  The two men fell into step.

  After they’d walked past the barn, Ben noticed Ashley in the outdoor arena with Paisley. She rode the paint in slow circles, guiding the horse more with the pressure of her legs than the reins. Everything in Ben wanted to change direction and go to her. He forced himself to stick with Jerry.

  As soon as they entered the stables, Ben knew Ashley had been there before him. Probably for the better part of the day. Tack had been moved to the room near the main entrance. Lead ropes were fastened to hooks near each stall door.

  But it was the observation room, where parents and others could sit and watch in comfort, that caught Ben’s full attention. Chairs had been arranged, some near the glass that separated them from the indoor arena, others in small groupings around the room. Cushions had been placed on a number of the chairs. A couple of area rugs softened and warmed the concrete floor. A bookshelf had been lined with books for all levels of readers. Posters of horses had been pinned to the wall, filling much of the available space. In the bathroom in the far corner, the air was scented with something fresh and minty. Seeing the reeds in a small green bottle on a shelf, he suspected that was the source. He chuckled to himself. It would be several months before this building, this observation room, was in full use, and yet Ashley had already made it the most welcoming place on the farm.

  He turned toward the doorway where Jerry stood silently. “It’s even better than I imagined it would be.”

  “You have Ashley to thank for all of these finishing touches.”

  “I know. I could tell.”

  “I’m glad I got to work on this project. I’d never heard of equine therapy before. Ashley explained what you plan to do here. I told my sister about it, and you may hear from her. I think she’s gonna want to volunteer or donate or something.”

  “Whatever it is she chooses to do, it’ll be appreciated.”

  “I’ll tell her that too.” Jerry pushed off the doorjamb. “Do you have any ques
tions for me? Or did you see anything we need to take a second look at?”

  Ben shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

  “Okay, then.” Jerry tugged on his cap. “I’ll help the guys finish cleaning up. You let us know if anything comes up.”

  “I will. Thanks, Jerry. I’ll be sure and let your boss know how pleased I am with the work you all did.”

  Jerry grinned and nodded before stepping out of view.

  Ben gave the observation room one last look before heading outside again. His gaze went straight to the big arena. Ashley was no longer riding. She’d dismounted and was now brushing Paisley, the saddle and blanket resting on the top rail of the fencing. The brush stopped in midsweep when she saw him.

  “You got back earlier than expected,” she called to him.

  “Yeah.”

  “Your mother was here to see you.”

  His stomach sank at the news. “Was she in one of her moods?”

  “Yes.” Ashley nodded, but the smile remained. “But she had good news.”

  That surprised him. “Good news?”

  “Good for you and your grandfather. She wasn’t too happy about it.”

  He closed the distance, stopping on the opposite side of the fence, eager to hear the rest.

  “She said to tell you that you won. She said she would have fought you for the farm, but even after she won the attorneys would take everything anyway.”

  Ben released a breath. “I didn’t doubt we would win, but I was afraid it would take longer than this before it was over.”

  “I think God answered your prayers.”

  If it weren’t for the stupid fence between them, he would have kissed her. “You’re right. He did.”

  “I got your gift,” Ashley added. “Yours and your grandfather’s. Thank you. It was very thoughtful.”

  “We thought you might like it.”

  Her cheeks and nose were red from the cold. Tendrils of hair had escaped her ponytail, giving her a delightfully disheveled appearance. But there was something else that drew his notice. She looked more . . . more at ease than he’d seen her in a long while.

  “Did you write that note in Jeremiah?”

  “What note?”

  She smiled. “I thought it must be Grant’s handwriting instead of yours.”

  “What did it say?”

  She quoted the verse to him.

  “Ah. It’s a good one for all of us to remember.”

  “I’m going to try to memorize a new verse every week. Maybe you can share a list of favorites sometime.”

  “I’ll do that.”

  They were silent for a long while, simply standing there, looking into each other’s eyes. For the second time, he wished the fence wasn’t standing between them. In another moment, he might have climbed over it. But then she lowered her gaze to the brush in her hand.

  He tried to think of something else to say. Anything else to say. Finally he settled on a neutral topic, something he hadn’t told her yet. “Kurt and his mom came to see me yesterday afternoon. Like she said they would. She’s going to let Kurt come over a couple of days a week. Wednesdays after school and Saturday mornings.”

  “Is he your first client?”

  He shrugged. “Sort of.”

  “Then we should have a file for him, shouldn’t we?”

  “Yes.” He grinned. He couldn’t help it. Whenever she said “we,” it made him happy.

  Ashley untied the loose knot in the lead rope and started walking toward the arena exit. Ben kept pace on his side of the fence. By the time they reached the gate, he’d sensed a change in her mood. He held the gate open for her and Paisley. They started through, but she stopped suddenly, her expression serious. “I need to ask a favor,” she said softly.

  “Sure. Anything.”

  “You don’t know what it is.”

  He waited.

  “I want to see my brother. It would help if you went with me.”

  Friday, December 22, 1944

  His morning chores completed, Andrew’s gaze scanned the newspaper headlines.

  Yanks Stop German Drive 40 Miles inside Belgium

  Nazi Forces Half across Luxembourg in Ardennes Drive

  German Command Claims Bridgeheads on Ourthe River

  Factors behind Nazi Surprise Thrust Analyzed by Reporter

  With a knot forming in his belly, he began to read the longest article. He stopped when he came to the quote of a first army staff officer who said “the biggest battle of the war and the greatest slaughter man has ever known” was likely before the German counter-offensive was completed.

  “God, protect Ben. Only You know if he’s providing air support for all of those soldiers on the ground. He probably is. Help him to help them. Help him to save lives. Bring this war to an end, Father. In Your great mercy, bring it to an end. Keep Oscar safe in the Pacific until it’s over and he can come home.”

  “What did you say?” Helen stepped into the kitchen.

  He laid the newspaper on the table. “I was praying for Ben and Oscar’s safety. And for all the boys fighting.”

  “How bad is the news today?”

  “Probably worse than they want us to know,” he answered grimly.

  His wife came to stand beside his chair. He leaned his head against her side while his right arm went around her waist.

  “Maybe we’ll get some letters today,” he said, as much for himself as for Helen.

  She leaned over and kissed the top of his head before moving away. “I hope so. It always feels an eternity between them.” She dampened a cloth and began to wipe the countertop, although she’d already cleaned the kitchen after getting the younger children fed and off to school.

  “Mom? Dad?” Louisa called. A second later the front door closed against the bitter December wind.

  “We’re in here.” Andrew folded the paper, putting the worst of the headlines facedown on the table.

  His daughter entered the kitchen, cheeks pink and eyes bright. “I’ve got a surprise.” Her smile told them it was a good one.

  “What is it?” Helen asked.

  “You’re going to be grandparents.” Clapping her hands, Louisa hopped up and down a few times—looking like the teenager she was.

  “Grandparents?” Helen looked at Andrew, joy wiping away the worry in a flash. In the next moment mother and daughter were hugging and laughing.

  His wife didn’t seem to mind that she would become a grandmother while she was still in her thirties. Look at her. She barely looked more than a teenager herself. Weren’t grandmothers supposed to have broad laps and gray hair? For that matter, weren’t grandfathers supposed to walk with a bit of a stoop?

  “Dad?”

  He stood and went to Louisa, embracing her as her mother had done. “When’s the happy occasion?”

  “Around the fourth of July.”

  Andrew laughed. “Well, why not? We already celebrate Frani’s birthday and your wedding anniversary on that day. Why not add another reason for joy to the mix?”

  Chapter 28

  Ashley’s heart raced as she waited for her brother to be brought to the visiting area. It had taken days for the visit to happen. She wasn’t sure if the delay had to do with the application process or jail rules or Dylan’s own reluctance to see her. Her mom possibly knew since Ashley had left the arrangements up to her, but she hadn’t asked. It was all she could do to keep up her courage to see Dylan, to say the things she wanted to say.

  A sound drew her gaze toward the door. Her brother entered, dressed in jail garb. Six weeks had made a drastic difference in his appearance. He’d lost weight since the day she’d seen him outside of her home, and he looked older than his actual years. Much older. At least his eyes were clear. There was no haze of drugs in their depth.

  Once Dylan was seated opposite her, beyond the plexiglass, Ashley said, “It’s good to see you.”

  “Is it?” His voice sounded part listless, part resentful.

  She swallowed
. “Yes.”

  “You haven’t come with Mom before this.”

  “I couldn’t. I was angry with you.”

  “When aren’t you angry with me, Ash?”

  It was a fair question, but not the reason for her visit. “I wanted to see you to tell you that, no matter what, I love you. You’re my brother. I’ll always love you.”

  “Great.”

  “And I forgive you.”

  He swore beneath his breath.

  Had she expected this to be easy? No. And yet her brother’s response hurt anyway. “I was remembering the other day, how Dad took us trick-or-treating, and then he’d sneak some of our candy for himself, pretending we wouldn’t see him. We laughed so hard. Do you remember that?”

  “Sure, I remember.”

  “He used to tell me to always look after you ’cause you were my little brother. I wish I’d done a better job of it.”

  Dylan’s sullen expression eased a little. “You were a kid. You did the best you could.”

  “Maybe.”

  “You couldn’t control me. Neither could Mom. I sure didn’t make it easy on you.”

  “No. We couldn’t control you. But I wish—” She broke off, tears filling her eyes.

  “Don’t cry. All Mom does is cry when she sees me, both here or during one of our video visits.”

  Ashley sniffed and dried her eyes with a tissue. “You’re right. I’ll stop.” She drew a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. “And I’ll change the subject. That should help. Besides, I want to tell you what’s happened to me and why I’m so determined not to go on blaming you and being angry with you.”

  “What happened? You find God or something?” He spoke dismissively.

  “I didn’t have to find Him. He was there all the time. Waiting for me.” She smiled. “Will you let me tell you what’s happened to me?”

  “Okay. You’ve got about ten more minutes. Go ahead.”

  * * *

  In the waiting area, Ben occupied his time by answering some texts and emails on his phone. But even with distractions, his thoughts were never far from Ashley and her brother. Visits with prisoners were kept short, yet the wait felt long. He hoped it was going well. He hoped Dylan would listen to Ashley. Whatever happened, he knew God was in the midst of the situation.