We go back to the Iroquois cabin with Dillan and Jay. Like Mom, Dillan walks around with comfortable ease. My dad, not so much.
“We had some good times here,” Dillan recalls. He sits at the round table in the kitchen. I stand in the doorway with Jay.
“And some shitty ones.” Mom sets a glass of wine on the table in front of Dillan.
“Is this weird for you, Jase?” Dillan’s passive-aggressive demeanor makes my father’s forehead crease.
“Not at all. I got the girl in the end.” Dad catches Mom’s hand, spins her into his arms, and kisses her neck.
Smooth move, Dad.
Dillan gives him a crooked grin, the same one Jay flashes when he’s trying to be cute. This scenario is freaking me out, and I guess he must feel the same way.
Dad pulls out the chair opposite Dillan and sits. “If it wasn’t for your bad choices, I never would have met Kali.” His nickname for Mom is said with much affection.
“My bad choices?” Dillan scoffs. “I don’t think you know the whole story.”
“I know enough.”
The room is heated. Literally. Even Jay’s body temperature has gone up.
“Mom, what are they talking about?”
She doesn’t answer right away. I can tell she’s considering what to say. “I met your father when I was still with Dillan.”
“Wha… you cheated on Dillan with Dad?” Miss High and Mighty is a cheater?
My father is quick to defend her bad judgment. “She was only with Dillan because she was forced—”
“That isn’t true,” Mom corrects. “I wasn’t forced to be with him.” She looks up from her wine glass. “I chose Dillan.”
Dillan smiles with his eyes. Even though he’s old enough to be my father, my knees go weak. Like father, like son. I lean against Jay, and he rests his hand on my hip. Being in his arms feels right, natural. I’m not the least bit concerned about what my mother thinks.
“Choosing is part of the ceremony, and he was the best choice.” She smiles at Dillan. Dad shifts uncomfortably in his chair. Mom places her hand on his. “Then I chose you.” She kisses her husband.
“What the hell does any of this have to do with me?” I snap.
Mom looks sick, sicker than the time I asked her where babies came from.
“She can handle the truth,” Dad assures her.
“For a brief time, I didn’t know who your father was. There were ancient beliefs that made me doubt what I knew in my heart. Eventually things worked out the way they were meant to be.”
Dillan stands and walks to the sink. He dumps the wine and fills his glass with water. He turns to me. “For a few months, we thought you were mine.”
“I always doubted…” Mom tries to save face. “We didn’t know anything for sure until the blood test.”
Jay takes my hand. Now it feels weird. Like he isn’t the sexy hot boy I’ve been sneaking kisses from in the woods. For a time he was my brother. Gag.
I inch ever so slightly away. “How does his mother fit into this?” I swirl my finger between my parents and Dillan.
“It’s complicated,” Mom says.
“You think?” I snap.
“I know this feels weird, Abbi.” Jay takes my hand again. “But we’re not related. At all.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. I focus on his playful smile, his honest eyes, those lips. Those luscious lips.
“Uh, Jay,” Dillan interrupts.
“Abbigayle.” Mom’s shrill tone tingles the back of my neck. Just to irk her, I don’t respond.
“This isn’t awkward at all.” Mom pushes back from the table and stands.
“Let’s give them a minute,” Dillan suggests.
“Absolutely not.” Mom places a hand on my shoulder.
I turn with all the smugness of a rebellious teen. She’s had it easy with me for seventeen years, that ends now. “Is there more, or can Jay and I have some privacy?”
My father turns green, and Jay stifles a laugh.
“Actually, there is more. I think we should discuss the rest in private, just our family.”
“If it makes it any easier, I’ve already told her,” Jay speaks up. “And I showed her a video.”
“You did what?” Mom explodes. “You had no right!”
Dillan defends his son. “You chose to keep your daughter in the dark. It doesn’t make Jay’s honesty wrong.”
Even my father agrees with his adversary. “We can’t protect her forever. Abbi is a smart girl. She’ll make the right choice.”
“Ozzy had a video.” I want to clarify it was Ozzy’s video. Jay already has so many strikes against him. Kalysia and Jase can’t hate Ozzy, he’s like family. “I didn’t watch it.”
“I want to see the video,” Mom demands.
Jay hands her his phone. He stands behind me as I lean over to watch his friend Lauren phase. Even though I know the video is real, it looks like really amazing CGI.
“Who is she?” Dad asks when it’s over. He doesn’t look stunned by the content, just curious about the girl.
“A friend.” Jay doesn’t look at me.
Dillan’s curious glance at his son makes me wonder if Jay is being truthful about this Lauren person.
“You understand what is happening in the video?” Mom addresses me like I’m a child. “What that means?”
It’s hard to fathom and little fantastical. People shifting into wolves is something out of a fairytale, like talking mice and flying elephants. “It’s a little unreal.”
“That’s because she’s never seen anyone phase in real life.” Jay raises a brow at his father. “Do you think?”
“Absolutely not!” Mom roars. “If anyone is going to show her, it’s us.”
They bicker about who should be the one to phase, and I tune out. I’m not keen on watching any of these people morph into an animal. Like most everything in my life, I don’t seem to get a say.
“Are you okay?” Jay finally asks.
“This is a lot to think about.” I rub my temples like I have a headache.
“Let’s go for a walk.” He tugs my hands.
“Never going to happen.”
Dillan leans against the sink, looks retrospectively back at the room. “Remember the conversations we had at that table?” Dillan address Kalysia. “We wanted to make a difference. Be the change. We failed. They can learn from our mistakes. Do things right.” He points at us. “It’s their destiny.”
“I won’t let Abbi be part of the Altum Lunam. What happens after the ceremony? Is she supposed to honor her responsibility to the pack?”
“They didn’t turn out so bad, did they?” Dillan is referring to me and Jay. We’re the responsibility to the pack. Having a child or children. That would explain the Meyers’ kids, why we’re all born at the same time.
“We’re going to create something new, built on equality.” Jay gives him the spiel. “Everyone is free to live the type of life they choose with no obligation to the pack.”
“That’s a lofty aspiration, Jay.” Mom is ready for this fight. “Every generation before you came to the ceremony with the same idealistic fantasies.” Her attention shifts to Dillan. “We fell into the same trap as our parents.”
“This will be different. Everyone is welcome, even those who have phased.” Jay isn’t giving up. “I’m not saying the fire of 2017 was a good thing, but one positive came from it. The chance to start over. The rebirth of our kind. Not based on blood purity but on unity. Once you remove power from the equation, you’re left with people.” His speech is inspiring. Even I start to believe.
“I appreciate your drive, but this is so much bigger than you can imagine.” Mom stands behind Dad and places her hands on his shoulders. He gives her a reassuring smile. “The hierarchy is still in place. Ozzy and Raine are the heirs to the Tallac and Duke families, if they match, they will be alphas. The others will follow them.”
“I’m alpha.” Jay stands a bit taller.
“I t
hought that didn’t matter,” Mom quips.
He fell right into her trap.
“You say power isn’t important, but it’s ingrained in you. Part of your DNA. The gene makes it so. Are you really willing to take the serum to equal the playing field? That’s all we’re trying to do.”
I’m acutely aware of how close I am to Jay. How he makes me feel. Where his hands are, where my body touches his. My mother notices too.
“Abbi has another destiny. She’s moving to the city with Layla and Monte. They have an apartment ready for her to move into immediately.”
Two weeks ago she was dead set against me leaving. She promised me next year. Now she’s giving me everything I want next week.
“Are you serious?” I can’t hide my elation. This is clearly an attempt to separate me from Jay, from the ceremony, but I’ll take it.
“You can move in as soon as camp is over.” The triumphant look on her face tells me she isn’t bluffing.
I leap into her arms and blanket her with words of gratitude.
“I can’t wait to tell Trevor! And Raine.”
“We can go shopping for essentials in Union Square. I know a great place with the cutest kitchenware.” She tucks a lock of hair behind my ear.
This was my dream long before Jay ever heard of our camp. I cannot throw away everything I’ve ever wanted on a boy I’ve only known two weeks. “I still have time to apply for next semester. I need to get online and download the paperwork.”
“I’ll take care of everything, sweetie.”
“Abbi.” Jay says my name, and I crash back to earth. “What about us?”
Mom snorts. I glare at her.
“Let’s give them a minute,” Dad suggests. He ushers her out of the kitchen, and Dillan follows.
I sit at the table and sneak a sip of Mom’s wine. Jay pulls out the empty chair and positions it so we’re facing each other. One hand grips the back of my chair, and his other hand is on my leg. I feel his despair and desperation.
“Abbi, look at me.” His tone is soft, pleading. “Tell me you don’t want me.”
“I can’t.”
I want him to be my first. That hasn’t changed. But I refuse to believe I’m the kind of girl who will only have one great love. That isn’t me. I can’t even decide on a favorite flavor of ice cream.
Jay’s steely gray eyes plead for words I can’t say. Won’t say. How can this messy haired boy be my one true love? Does the sweetness of his lips or the magnitude of his touch determine how long or how completely he is capable of loving me? These are questions that cannot be answered. Not by my know-it-all mother or my experienced best friend. Only time will tell. Time isn’t something I’m willing to waste on words and promises. I have no doubt he is willing to follow me anywhere in the world. The question is, do I want him tagging along on my adventure? Moving to the city has always been my dream. Adding him to the batter could be a recipe for disaster. Things haven’t been perfect here at camp. Hot, yes. Sexy, hell yes. Maybe we’re only as good as our limitations. Given the chance to be together freely, the fire won’t burn as bright.
Kalysia reappears in the doorway to say it’s getting late. “We can talk more when you come home.” She ushers Jay and Dillan out of the cabin. Dad goes to camp central so we can be alone. I stay in the kitchen and wait for the lecture she’s dying to give me.
“I can see why you like him. He’s very handsome.” She tops off her wine. “He looks like Dillan.”
“Did you love Dillan?”
“Yes. Part of me still cares for him. We are connected by the Lunam Ceremony. That doesn’t mean we were destined to be together. I’m in love with your father.”
I think of the way Raine blindly loves Ozzy. “I don’t want to be in love like that. I don’t want to be out of control. I want to choose, like you did.”
“There’s only one way for that to happen.” She takes a long drink from her wine. “Don’t go to the ceremony.”
Chapter Twenty-One
We get through the last two days of camp without any surprises or storms. At the goodbye ceremony, my girls presented me with our cabin sign, which they’d autographed. Raine’s girls honored her with a prank.
“Those little assholes melted my lipsticks together!”
“Pranks are a sign of love.” I roll off her bunk and inspect the giant swirl of pink, red, and purple molded to look like a giant penis and glued to her cabin sign. “It so cute how they all kissed the wood with a different shade before they melted them.”
“Yeah, okay.” She feigns annoyance, but deep down I can tell she’s touched. “Speaking of love….” She carefully places the lipstick penis on top of her bag. “Have you decided what to do about Jay?”
“I’m meeting him tonight.” I turn around and air quote, “‘To talk.’”
She sighs and sits on her bunk facing me. I feel a lecture coming on.
“I really don’t need pointers on how to be sexy right now.”
“Abs, I’m the last person to give relationship advice.”
So don’t.
“This doesn’t seem like a random hookup for him. He believes in the old traditions.”
“Like living happily ever after,” I say scornfully.
She is uncharacteristically serious. “I don’t know, Abbi. Maybe there is some truth to it. Ozzy believes it, and he’s the last person I ever thought would settle down.”
I think of how many times his name was written on the wall of the boom-boom room. “What about you? Do you believe we’re destined to be with only one person? To love one man our whole lives?”
Her eyes sparkle like a lovesick fool. “I do, Abbi. Ozzy has always been it for me. None of the other guys in my life ever came close to making me feel the way he can.”
“Not even the Aussie?”
She smiles at the memory. “Not even the Aussie.”
It’s easy for her to make a declaration about her feelings. She’s been with other boys. Fear and self-doubt has kept me chaste. When a boy finally comes along I want to experiment with, he just happens to be the one I’m fated to love for eternity.
“I’m glad you and Ozzy can finally be together. I hope it all works out, but I can’t be part of the ceremony.” I realize I’m making my decision right this second. I stand and move toward the door. “I won’t repeat my mother’s mistakes.”
“Are you saying I’m making a mistake?”
“Maybe.”
“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” She paces to the window and back. “Do you know how many times I’ve listened to you preach about true love? About respecting my body. And now that I can finally be with the man I love, you have the nerve to say its bullshit?” Her anger comes from a place of pain. I hurt her.
“I just don’t think we’re ready to settle down at this age.”
“We? This isn’t a ‘we’ situation. This is about me and Ozzy, not you. For once this is about someone else’s feelings.”
She is saying all the things I have always wanted to say to her. She can’t really believe I’m the self-absorbed one here.
“It’s always been about you, Raine. About your hookups and summer flings. You suck all the attention out of a room. I’m invisible next to you. It’s Raine’s World, and I’m just a visitor. Go. Run off with Ozzy and live whatever life fate has in store for you. I’m taking R-249 and moving to the city to find my own life.”
I slam the door on the way out and stomp across camp to the lake. By the time I get there, tears stream down my face. I can count on one hand how many times we’ve disagreed, but this time is different. A line is being drawn, and we’re on opposite sides. I promised my mother I wouldn’t tell anyone I was taking R-249, not that it matters to Raine. She’s a lost cause. It’s like her brain has been melted by Ozzy’s love. Kill me now. If and when I ever fall in love, it will not render me blind.
She doesn’t text me when she leaves camp. I hear she’s gone from Trevor as we pack up the crafts cabin.
“Ozzy picked her up after the last bus. I heard they’re going to a house in South Lake Tahoe.”
“Good for them.”
“Jealous much?”
“I’m not jealous. I’m over this.” I put the lid on the last bin and stack it next to the door. A green smudge on the door handle reminds me of the day we had the paint fight. That was the same night Jay sang to me, and I decided I’d give myself to him. It was a childish notion. I was playing duck-duck-goose with my virginity, and he was the boy I’d chosen to chase me around camp. I can’t deny the way he made me feel. Sexy and alive and safe. Part of me wishes I wanted more. Maybe I’d change my mind if we consummated our relationship. There’s still time for that to happen. The thought makes me smile despite my shitty mood.
“Only one thing can make you smile like that.” Trevor opens the door. “He’s about yea tall.” Trevor holds a hand above his head. “And smells like heaven.”
I turn off the light and lock the door. The sun has almost set, and most of the camp is gone. Trevor and I volunteered to close up. Any excuse not to go home.
“Are you going to dinner?” he asks. He’s been eating like an animal lately. “I’m starving.”
“Probably not. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I don’t tell him about meeting Jay, because I don’t want to make it something it’s not. Just in case, I shower and shave my legs. A girl should always be prepared. I wear my tightest jeans and a tank top, even though it’s a chilly night. I take one last glance in the mirror. There is no hiding my intentions. I want him. Tonight is my last chance to make it happen.
We meet at the dock just after nine. The moonlight sparkles off the water in a brilliant display of light.
“You look sexy, stunning, amazing. I need a thesaurus to describe you.”
“Same.” I run a hand over the letters tattooed on his chest. “Howlin’ Ale?”
“It’s the beer our parents made at the factory,” he explains. “That’s what the cylinders were for.”
“You knew?” The words come out sharper than I meant. I can’t be upset by his secrets. Not if this is just a fling. Secrets and lies only matter when feelings are involved. This isn’t about love. It’s just sex.
The Lunam Legacy (The Lunam Series Book 3) Page 11
