by J. L. Wilder
XAVIER
Louis was awake when they returned. He looked up at them and frowned, and Xavier remembered how instinctive his friend had always been. How intuitive. Was it possible that Louis could tell that something had happened?
“Come and take a walk with me,” he said. “Zoe...stay in the cave, will you?”
“I will,” she promised.
The way she looked at him was completely different now than it had been before. It was as if she recognized an authority figure. There was something almost worshipful about it. Xavier knew, without knowing how he knew, that he could count on her to do as she had said and to stay in the cave while he and Louis were away.
Louis got up and followed him out. “Where are we going?” he asked. “The waterfall?” His tone was mild, and yet there was a tightness to his words that Xavier had never heard before.
He’s angry, Xavier realized. It was harder to recognize anger than it was when his friend was in his animal form—human anger was so much more subtle—and yet Xavier thought he could see it in the set of Louis’ jaw and the way his fists clenched.
“The waterfall would be fine,” he said.
Louis nodded and strode out of the cave without looking back.
Xavier steeled himself for an uncomfortable conversation and followed.
They didn’t speak to each other the whole way to the waterfall. They didn’t even look at each other. Louis kept slightly ahead of Xavier, walking with his back to his friend, refusing to look back at him. When they finally reached the water, he stood on the bank with his arms crossed over his chest, staring out over the pond. He still refused to look at Xavier.
Xavier came up behind him. “So you’re angry,” he said.
“You slept with her,” Louis said.
Xavier was startled. “How did you know that?”
“I can smell it on you,” Louis snapped. “For fuck’s sake. How do I know it? For someone who spends the majority of his life in animal form, you sure do seem to forget that the people around you can follow their senses just as much as you can. I knew as soon as you brought her back to the cave.”
“Okay,” Xavier said. “I slept with her.”
“So, now what?” Louis asked.
“I don’t know,” Xavier said, feeling a little taken aback.
Louis sighed. “Of course, you don’t. You’re terrible at thinking ahead.”
“Hey.” Xavier was annoyed. “I can think ahead as well as the next person.”
“I don’t know if you can,” Louis said. “But I know that you don’t. I guess it’s another human thing that’s beneath you now that you’re a full-time wolf. Which reminds me—you were in human form when you fucked her, weren’t you?”
“Don’t be gross.” Xavier was angry now. He hadn’t necessarily expected Louis to support what he and Zoe had done, but he certainly hadn’t thought he’d be facing this.
“She comes from Omega University,” Louis said. “She’ll be going back to the school in a matter of days. Maybe even today. Did you think about that? She does seem as if she’s well enough for travel now.”
Xavier shook his head. “She wants to stay with me.”
“Oh, she wants to stay with you. That solves everything, then.”
“You don’t believe me?”
“Xavier. Look at who you’re talking about. This girl is all human. She’s not even comfortable sleeping in the cave. We had to steal a blanket to make her relax enough to start healing. And you saw the way she reacted when we gave her squirrel to eat.”
“Okay, she didn’t like the squirrel,” Xavier allowed. “But what about the fish?”
“She didn’t like that, either!” Louis said. “She could barely bring herself to scale the damn thing. She does not know how to live wild. We’ve been doing this for two years, and I’m too human for your liking. Well, this girl makes me look like the Jungle Boy.”
“She’ll learn,” Xavier said. “She learned quickly with the fish.”
“I’m not saying she can’t learn, Xavier.”
“Then what the fuck are you saying?” Xavier demanded.
“I’m saying she won’t want to,” Louis said. “I’m saying you’re talking about a city girl who goes to college with other city girls, and you’re talking about convincing her to live in a cave in the wilderness. She’s not going to want to do that, no matter how much she likes you.”
“It’s more than that,” Xavier said. He took a breath. “I imprinted, Louis.”
Louis fell silent, staring at Xavier.
“I imprinted on her,” Xavier said. “We have to be together. Neither one of us is going to be able to leave the other one alone.”
Louis sank down to sit by the bank of the pond.
“Shit,” he said.
“It doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” Xavier said. “I don’t know why you’re so determined to see it that way.”
“You don’t?” Louis looked up at him. “Really?”
“Well, tell me, why don’t you?”
“All right, I’ll tell you,” Louis said. “You imprinted on her. Okay. That means you’re not going to be able to let her go. You’re not going to be able to follow our original plan of taking her back to her camp and dropping her off there.”
“No,” Xavier agreed.
“Which leaves only two options,” Louis said. “Either you’re going to keep her here with you—which, frankly, having met her, seems unlikely to me—or else you and she will both go back and become civilized humans together.”
Xavier stared at Louis. “Does that sound like me?” he asked his friend.
“I wouldn’t have thought so,” Louis said. “But an imprint changes everything. And you don’t make plans for your life, Xavier. You never do. You might say you’d never do something, and you might even believe that. But when it’s put to the test, if you have to choose between the life we’ve made out here or this girl, what are you going to pick?”
“I don’t have to choose,” Xavier said.
“You might,” Louis said.
“I’m the alpha,” Xavier said. “I don’t. I get to decide.”
But Louis shook his head. “You’re not that kind of alpha, Xavier,” he said. “You never have been, and you know it. In the years since you and I have been living wild, you’ve never once ordered me around. You find out what I want, and then you figure out what you think is the best way to help make it happen. That’s the kind of alpha you’re going to be to her. You’re not going to order her around. You’re going to help her get what she wants.”
Xavier started to protest that Louis was wrong, but then he hesitated.
Louis wasn’t wrong.
Of course, if Zoe wanted something, Xavier would want to help her get it. Of course he would.
But Louis was wrong on a different count. “I’m not going back to the city with her,” he said. “I live here. She’s just going to have to get used to that.”
Louis glanced over at Xavier. “Do you think she can?” he asked.
“She said she was going to,” Xavier said.
Although, had she said that? Xavier thought back. She had said she couldn’t walk away from him. She hadn’t said anything about living in the wild.
Okay, well, the two of us will just have to sort that out later. It’s not going to be a problem.
“I left our pack for you, you know,” Louis said. “I came out here to live wild with you. I trusted you.”
“I know that,” Xavier said.
“I chose you to be my alpha. I didn’t have to do that. I could have stayed behind.”
Xavier nodded. “I get it,” he said. “I’m not going to ditch you here and run off with my omega. I promise. You’re both my pack. And we live here. Nothing about that is going to change.”
Louis uncrossed his arms. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Louis’ face relaxed. He pulled Xavier into a hug. “All right, then, congratulations. Imprinting. Pretty amazing.”
The embrac
e was awkward. When he had been with Zoe, he had known instinctively what to do—how to touch her, how to hold her. But this was different. There was no instinct driving it, and it had been years since he had tried to hug someone. He put his arms around Louis and squeezed, trying to summon the muscle memory for this action.
Louis laughed. “We’ll work on that,” he said. “Why don’t I stay out and fish today? Give the two of you some time alone in the cave?”
Xavier felt a little awkward. “You don’t have to.”
“We need fish anyway,” Louis said. “I’ll be back at sundown.”
Xavier nodded. It would be good to have the day with Zoe. They had a lot to talk about. And there was a lot he wanted to do with her that didn’t require talking as well.
“Come back if you need anything,” he told Louis. “Or if you see any sign of those bears.”
“Of course,” Louis agreed.
Xavier turned and ran back to the cave.
HE FOUND ZOE CROUCHED at the mouth of the cave, poking the embers of the fire with a stick.
She looked up at him, and he saw that she was almost tearful. “The fire is going out,” she said. “I didn’t know what to do about it. Are you very angry?”
“No,” he said, bemused. “Why would I be angry? You didn’t pour water over it, did you?”
“Of course not,” Zoe said. “But I assumed when you went off with Louis that you were trusting me to keep it going.”
“Do you even know how to tend a fire?” Xavier asked her.
“No,” she admitted.
He nodded. “I wasn’t assuming that you did,” he assured her. “But maybe it’s something you ought to learn. It’s a good skill to have.”
“I probably would have learned it if I’d stayed at camp this week,” Zoe said. “I’m sure that’s one of the things that’s being taught.”
He nodded. “The hardest part of building a fire is getting a spark,” he said. “It looks like these coals are still hot, so we’re going to have an easy time with that part today. But we’ll build this fire up, and we can worry about building a fire from nothing another day.”
“Okay,” Zoe agreed.
Xavier felt a flush of warmth and satisfaction. Louis had obviously been wrong to worry. Zoe was already talking with him about their future together, a future in which they would be building fires. It didn’t sound like she had any plans for trying to go back to school or to resume her human life.
For a moment, he wondered if he dared tell her how infrequently they bothered with fires. When they were living in their wolf forms, there was no need for fire.
He decided to keep it to himself for now. Better to ease her into this new life than to drop all the realities of it on her at one time. Better to let her adjust slowly.
He showed her how to hold dry kindling to the hot coals until it caught, and then how to carefully build a structure over the tiny flames, using bigger and bigger wood until the fire was strong and able to tend to itself for a while. When they were finished, they sat back away from the flames. Xavier put an arm around Zoe’s shoulders, and she leaned into him.
“I have to admit,” she said, “this has been a much nicer way to learn about living in the wilderness and fending for myself than camp would have been.”
“Happy to be of service,” Xavier said.
“Is Louis very angry with us?” she asked.
He glanced down at her. “You could tell he was angry?”
“It was obvious,” Zoe said. “He looked like he’d been chewing nails. I thought that was why you took him out for a walk. He’d already guessed what had happened between us, hadn’t he?”
He had to give her credit. She had had a much easier time reading Louis’ face than he had. Perhaps it was because she was so much more accustomed to dealing with human facial expressions. “Yes,” Xavier said. “He guessed it.”
“He’s not an alpha, is he?” Zoe asked. “I think you mentioned he was a beta?”
“He is,” Xavier said.
She exhaled. “That’s good.”
“Why is that good?” he asked.
“Just because...” she shrugged. “Two alphas, one omega...I’m not saying there would be a fight, but it does seem like a recipe for disaster.”
Another thing that had never occurred to Xavier. Maybe Louis was right. Maybe he really didn’t think ahead well enough. “I don’t think Louis is jealous of us,” he said.
“That’s good,” Zoe said. “Although I wouldn’t rule it out if I were you. He might not be directly jealous—he might not wish he could be with me specifically. But it’s been just the two of you for a while, and it might be difficult for him to see someone new breaking into what has always been his territory.”
“Everything’s going to be fine,” Xavier said. “Louis completely supports us.”
Zoe’s face lit up. “That’s wonderful,” she said. “I was so worried that he might not. That’s amazing news. Where is he now?”
“He’s out fishing,” Xavier said.
“Is he avoiding me?” Zoe asked.
“No,” Xavier assured her. “Nothing like that. He just thought that you and I might want some time to ourselves. He’s letting us celebrate our new bond, I think.”
“That’s so nice,” she murmured. “He’s a good friend.”
“He is,” Xavier agreed. “I’m lucky to have him.”
Zoe looked at him. “What will we do with our time?” she asked.
Xavier knew what they ought to do with their time. They should talk about the future. They should make sure they were on the same page when it came to their plans, that they wanted the same things and that there would be no conflict about it. He should make sure that Zoe wasn’t expecting him to go back to college with her.
But he could think of several things he would rather do than have that conversation.
He got to his feet. “Come with me,” he said.
“Where are we going?” She was already standing, and he could see that her injuries weren’t troubling her at all anymore.
“Out of the cave,” he said. “We’re not going to spend all day cooped up in here.”
“I thought you said it wasn’t safe for me to go out,” she said, but she was smiling.
“I said it wasn’t safe for you to go out alone,” he clarified.
“So what are we going to do out there?” she asked.
“It’s time you broaden your skills a little further,” he said. “I’m going to teach you how to hunt.”
Chapter Twelve
XAVIER
“I know that you can shift,” Xavier said. “You were in wolf form when you were running from the bears!”
“I know,” Zoe said. “But that was literally to save my life.”
“Okay,” Xavier said. “But that means you can do it.”
“Sure, I can do it,” Zoe said. Whether she could do it wasn’t the issue.
“Why don’t you then?” Xavier asked.
“It’s weird!” Zoe said.
He stared at her. “It’s weird? It’s weird to become your wolf self? That’s half of who you are, Zoe. That’s like saying it’s weird to use your left hand instead of your right.”
“It is weird to use my left hand instead of my right,” Zoe countered. “I’m right-handed.”
“Okay, so you’re not as skilled with your left hand,” Xavier said. “But you’re acting like stepping into your wolf self would be...I don’t know. Unnatural in some way.”
“It would feel unnatural,” Zoe said. “That’s what I’m saying. This—my human self—this is my real self. The wolf is just...”
“Just what?”
“I don’t know. It’s like a trick I can do.”
“A trick? How can you say that? It’s a part of who you are! It’s what makes you a shifter instead of just a human.”
“There isn’t anything wrong with being human,” she said.
“Maybe not,” he said, though he couldn’t have honestl
y said that he agreed with that idea. “But you can’t deny that you’re something more, Zoe.”
She sighed. “I just don’t see why we have to shift to hunt,” she said. “You said yourself that you were capable of setting traps. Why can’t you just teach me how to do that?”
“Why don’t you want to shift?” he asked her.
She looked uncomfortable. “This just isn’t the kind of situation where I ordinarily would have done it,” she said.
“I don’t understand,” he admitted. “I mean, I guess I knew that you didn’t hunt for your meals at Omega University—”
“No. Definitely not.”
“But then when do you shift? They must teach you something about that aspect of your nature.”
“We shift for competitions,” she explained. “We get together every few weeks for athletic events, sometimes in human form, other times in animal form.”
“Athletic events? You mean fights?”
“The alphas fight,” she said. “Sometimes the betas fight. The omegas do things like tracking and racing.” She stood a little taller. “I’m the fastest omega in my class.”
“Cool,” Xavier said, trying not to let on what a weak boast he thought that really was. “Well, if you’re used to competing in animal form, you’ll be well equipped to put the same skills to use here.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“How are your senses? Pretty acute?”
“I’m good at tracking,” she said. “If that’s what you mean.”
“It is. If you’re good at tracking, you’ll be good at hunting.”
“I don’t know if I can actually kill an animal, though,” she said.
“Well, that’s part of why you’ll want your wolf form,” he said. “For a wolf, killing prey is instinctive. As humans, we’ve had years of complacency to breed it out of us. Of course, a human girl doesn’t want to kill an animal. But the wolf...”
Zoe looked appalled. “I’m not a killer,” she said. “Not in any form.”
“Just go with me on this,” he said. “Just try it.” If she was going to live wild with him, she was going to have to get over some of her sensitivities.
She looked doubtful, but she nodded. “I’m going into the woods to shift,” she said. “Don’t watch.”
