by J. L. Wilder
“I’ve seen you naked,” he pointed out.
“That’s different,” she said and stalked off.
Xavier quickly stripped out of his clothes and draped them over a nearby tree branch. It was a relief to slide back into his wolf persona. He had missed this—the strength he could feel throughout his body, the simplicity of his thoughts, the ease of movement. He had missed the way his senses seemed to pick up everything that was going on around him when he was in animal form. Because of what had been going on over the past couple of days, he had been obliged to remain human.
Now he felt as if he had come home to himself.
Zoe stepped out of the woods. She was lean and lithe, her fur a light gray color. She approached him slowly, warily, and Xavier could tell by her body language that she was afraid of him. She was afraid because she had never seen him in this form before.
I’m a wild wolf to her right now, he thought.
There was something appealing about that thought—about the fact that his appearance could be so overwhelming, so intimidating. But he didn’t want her to feel afraid, so he lowered his nose and walked slowly over to her side.
She approached him just as slowly, just as cautiously, and he watched as she relaxed and accepted the idea that it was really him, and that he meant her no harm. Her body relaxed, and she stood a little taller, a little less defensive in her posture.
Xavier took up a position beside her and sniffed the air, scenting for prey. He looked over and saw that she was doing the same.
They were lucky. He smelled it almost right away—a rabbit. Perfect. Her first catch would be something she would be able to enjoy eating. He had worried about the challenge of motivating her to catch a squirrel, knowing that she had no real desire to eat it.
He began to move among the trees, careful to step lightly, careful not to allow his tread to make a sound. Zoe moved behind him. He admired how naturally she took to it—shifting her weight slowly, choosing the right places to put her feet. If he hadn’t already known she was behind him, he thought she might have been able to sneak up and take him by surprise.
He spotted the rabbit at the base of an oak tree. He stopped, looked at Zoe, and then tilted his head in its direction.
She looked at him, clear confusion etched on her face.
He lifted a paw, held out his claws, and made a raking motion. Kill it.
She stepped back, obviously reluctant.
He waited. She was going to have to learn this. She was going to have to do it. He wouldn’t do it for her. And there would be no rabbit today if she didn’t.
He watched the emotions flicker across her face as she put those pieces together. As she came to the realization that it would be dried squirrel for everyone unless she brought home fresh meat.
Her eyes narrowed.
She’s going to do it, he realized, impressed, overwhelmed. She’s actually going to do what needs to be done.
A moment later, she leaped past him.
There was the sound of a brief scuffle and the scent of blood in the air.
Xavier trotted over to her as she turned to face him. She had the body of the rabbit between her teeth. She spat it at his feet, then turned and ran back the way they had come.
Xavier watched her go, feeling a strange mixture of pride and concern. Then he picked up the rabbit and ran after her.
SHE WAS ALREADY DRESSED when he arrived at the place they’d left their clothes. She was sitting on a rock and hugging herself, waiting for him. He shifted back to human form, not troubling himself about privacy, and tugged on his clothes as quickly as he could.
“You okay?” he asked. “You took off like a bat out of hell.”
“I could taste its blood,” she said and wiped her hand across her tongue over and over.
“You weren’t expecting that?” Xavier asked.
“I wasn’t expecting to...to not hate it,” she said. “That was freaky. I thought it would make me sick. But it was...I don’t know. It was fine.”
“That’s the wolf,” Xavier said. “Wolves have to hunt for their food, so they’re not repulsed by blood the way humans are. The taste of blood just means a successful hunt.” He showed her the rabbit. “You did well,” he said. “This will make a great lunch for us.”
She shivered. “I didn’t like it,” she said.
“You’ll get used to it,” he said. “It gets easier. I promise.”
“Do we have to clean it, like we did with the fish?” Zoe asked.
“I’ll take care of that part,” Xavier said. “You’ve done enough for today.”
They stopped by a stream on the way back to the cave and rinsed their hands and faces. Zoe took a big mouthful of water, swished it around in her mouth, and spat it out.
Xavier couldn’t help laughing. “It’s not such a big deal,” he told her.
“Says you,” she said. “You didn’t have blood in your mouth.”
“Of course I did. I carried the rabbit back from the site where you killed it, didn’t I?”
She shuddered. “How can you stand it?”
They had reached the cave. He hung the rabbit on a branch outside—he would clean it and prepare it in a few hours. “You’re really upset, aren’t you?” he asked, taking her in his arms.
“I can’t help it,” she said. “I know you want me to be good at this, but it feels so wrong.”
“It can be hard to get used to a life in the wild,” Xavier said.
“Was it hard for you?” she asked.
“No,” he admitted. “I think I was always meant for this. It was harder for me to live a human life, before I left my pack behind. But Louis struggled. He still does a little. He’s comfortable with hunting now, but he needs to spend more time in his human form than I do in order to feel relaxed.”
“How much time do you spend in your human form?” Zoe asked.
Xavier hesitated. “As little as possible,” he admitted. “I much prefer to be in animal form whenever I can.
Zoe stared up at him. “Really?” she whispered.
“Does that bother you?” he asked.
“It frightens me,” she admitted. “This life you live—it scares me, Xavier. It’s so different from anything I’ve ever known. Will you expect me to live as a wolf now?”
“No,” he assured her. “Things will be different now.” And he knew as soon as he said it that it was true.
“Why?” she asked. “What will make them different?”
He took her by the hand and led her to the blanket in the back of the cave. “I need to be able to talk to you,” he said, sitting down, pulling her down with him. “I need to hear the things you’re thinking. Wolves can’t talk.”
She nodded and leaned into his embrace. “That’s true,” she said.
“And I need my hands,” he said, carefully removing her t-shirt—his own t-shirt that she was still wearing—and tossing it to one side. He traced his fingers up and down her torso, dipping his thumb into her belly button, weighing her breasts carefully. Then he wrapped an arm around her back and lowered himself on top of her. “I need my hands to love you the way you deserve to be loved,” he said, caressing her nipple.
She gasped, her back arching at his touch.
“I bet I could make you come with nothing more than my hands,” he said. “And maybe my mouth. I think I’d like to use my mouth.”
She whined a little, sounding as animalistic as she ever had.
“Do you think I could do it?” he asked her.
“Y-yes,” she managed.
“You do?”
“I think you could make me come just by talking,” she admitted.
“Maybe,” he agreed, his eyes feasting on her. She was so sexy like this, laid out for him, aroused and writhing, ready to let him do whatever he wanted to do. “But I don’t know that I care to keep my hands off you.”
“Don’t,” she whispered. “I need you to touch me.”
He stripped away her shorts, leaving her complet
ely naked and squirming with need, but he still made no move to touch her. Instead, he simply looked at her, taking her in.
My omega.
“Xavier,” she whimpered.
“Stop moving,” he ordered.
She became still at once, though she let out a shuddery little exhale that sounded as if she was about to burst into tears.
He placed two fingers on her sternum, right between her breasts.
“Don’t worry, Zoe,” he said quietly. “I’ll take care of you.”
He traced his fingers down slowly, over her quivering stomach, between her hips, and finally between her thighs. He met her eyes as he cupped her with his hand, turning his hand over slowly, pressing his fingers into her.
She let out a cry of pleasure, but she still didn’t move.
He began to fuck her with his hand. Her breathing became rapid and erratic. “Xavier,” she moaned. “Xavier, please—”
“Please what?” he asked, looking up at her, feeling more powerful, more in control, than he ever had in his life.
She shook her head. She didn’t know what she was asking for. He could see that.
He slid an arm beneath her, even as his fingers continued to fuck her and the heel of his hand ground up against her. He lifted her halfway upright, bringing her breast to his mouth, and began to suckle.
Her head fell back. She cried out wordlessly, and he felt her bear down around his fingers. She trembled so hard that he knew a lesser man would have dropped her, but he held her tightly, his hand working tirelessly, determined to bring her through her orgasm.
When it was over and she lay shaking on her blanket, trying to recover, Xavier found that he couldn’t tear his own clothes away fast enough. He rolled her onto her back and slid into her, gasping with the sweet relief of it. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in her scent, and fucked her hard and fast until he was spent.
Then he rolled to one side and took her hand in his own. Exhausted and sated, he looked over at her.
She had rolled onto her side and was gazing at him with such adoration that he thought his heart might burst.
“Can you live this life?” he asked her. “Can you get used to this? I know it’s not the life you thought you would have. I know it’s much wilder than what you’re used to. Am I asking too much of you?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I could live any other life now,” she said. “This is the life that has you in it, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” he said. “This is the life I’ve chosen.”
“Then it’s the life I choose too,” she said. “I choose you, Xavier.”
He leaned close and kissed her.
Chapter Thirteen
ZOE
Zoe was surprised to find that she enjoyed her dinner that night. She had expected to feel some apprehension about eating the rabbit. She had expected that she would remember the taste of blood in her mouth and that she wouldn’t be able to finish the meal.
Fortunately, that didn’t happen.
Xavier spared her the discomfort of watching the rabbit being cleaned—she could learn to do that another day, he told her—so by the time she saw the animal again, it was diced into cubes and spitted for roasting. It looked nothing like the rabbit she had killed, and she was able to willfully ignore the fact that it was the same creature.
Zoe, Louis, and Xavier cooked their skewers over the fire and ate them in the mouth of the cave, looking out at the stars.
“What would you have done if I wasn’t here?” Zoe asked Xavier as they ate.
He pulled a chunk of meat off of the stick with his teeth. “What do you mean?” he asked her.
“I mean about the rabbit,” she said. “How would you have cooked it? Would Louis have done it for you?”
Louis and Xavier exchanged looks.
Belatedly, Zoe realized what they weren’t saying. “You wouldn’t have cooked it.”
“When we’re in wolf form, we eat...raw,” Xavier explained.
Zoe was aghast. “Will I have to do that?”
“Not if you don’t want to,” Louis assured her. “I didn’t eat raw for months when Xavier and I first went off on our own. Eventually, it started to feel like the more sensible thing to do. But it took me a while to get to that point.
Zoe had been relieved to find, when Louis had returned from his day of fishing, that he hadn’t seemed angry with her at all. He had greeted her like a sister and welcomed her to the family. Whatever had been bothering him that morning, it seemed the day on his own had been enough to get him past it.
“I’m not ever going to want to eat that way,” she said.
“You might,” Xavier said. “When you get used to the way we hunt. It might become second nature for you to just eat your kill, without worrying about bringing it back and cleaning it up and cooking it, and all that jazz.”
“Do you always hunt for your food?” Zoe asked.
Xavier looked confused. “Sometimes we pick berries,” he said. “If that’s what you mean. It isn’t much of a meal, though.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Zoe said. “What I mean is, do you ever get a meal the human way?”
“We’re having our meal the human way right now,” Xavier said.
Zoe rolled her eyes. “For God’s sake,” she said cheerfully.
“She’s talking about going to a grocery store, I think,” Louis said. “We’ve been occasionally, for ingredients. Things we can’t get in the wild. But you stop needing spices after a while. That’s a human thing. The natural flavor of food is generally enough to satisfy the tastes of a wolf.”
“I’m not talking about groceries,” Zoe said.
“Then what are you talking about?” Louis asked.
“Restaurants,” Zoe said. “When was the last time either of you ate in a restaurant?”
They looked at each other.
“Does getting a coffee at a gas station count?” Xavier asked finally.
“What?” Zoe demanded. “Of course that doesn’t count! My God, you’re completely uncivilized, aren’t you?”
“You know perfectly well who I am,” Xavier said.
“I wouldn’t bother, Zoe,” Louis said. “I’ve been trying to civilize him for years. Usually, it’s a fight to get him to walk into a liquor store and buy a handle of whiskey with a shirt on. This is the most humanity I’ve seen out of him in years.”
“Well, I want to go to a diner and get dessert,” Zoe said, casting aside the stick she’d been eating from. “Where’s the nearest town.”
“You can’t go to a diner,” Louis said. “Look at what you’re wearing. They’d call the cops.”
“A drive-thru, then,” Zoe said. “We can walk up to the window.”
“We don’t have to,” Xavier said. “We’ve got a truck.”
“You have a truck?”
“Are you serious?” Louis said. “You’re really going to do this?”
“We bought that truck so we could go into town,” Xavier said.
“Yeah,” Louis agreed. “But we go to town three times a year if that. And now you’re just ready to jump in the car because Zoe wants ice cream?”
“It doesn’t have to be ice cream,” Zoe said, frowning. She could see that Louis was getting angry again, but she didn’t understand why. From everything they had told her, he’d had just as much trouble adjusting to life in the wild as she was having. Why would he begrudge her a trip to a fast-food restaurant?
But he didn’t seem willing to go along with it, for whatever reason. “I’m staying here,” he said. “And Xavier doesn’t know how to drive.”
“You don’t?” Zoe asked, turning to Xavier.
He shrugged. “I did learn,” he said. “But it was a long time ago. And I never kept up with it. Once we left our pack and came out here, I couldn’t see any need for it.”
“Well, I can drive,” Zoe said. “If you’ll let me, that is.”
For a moment, she thought Louis was going to refuse. But Xavier spok
e first. “That’ll be fine,” he said. “Give her the keys.”
Louis fished in his pocket, pulled out the keys, and tossed them to Zoe. Then he turned and strode out of the cave, taking the rest of his supper with him.
“What’s his problem?” Zoe asked.
“Oh, it’s complicated,” Xavier said.
“I thought he was cool with me being here,” Zoe said.
“He is,” Xavier said. “It’s not about that. He and I have been together, just the two of us, for a long time.”
“And he doesn’t want a stranger barging in on that,” Zoe said.
“Not exactly,” Xavier said. “It’s more that he’s worried I’m going to like you more than I like him. He’s worried I won’t be able to balance the interests of the pack as a whole, and that I’ll favor your needs over his.”
“But there’s not a conflict,” Zoe protested. “I just wanted to get a snack.”
“I know,” Xavier said. “But he’s right that he’s been trying to get me to go into town with him for years, and I almost never do it. It must worry him to see you persuade me so quickly.”
“We don’t have to go,” Zoe said, feeling guilty and worried.
“No,” Xavier said. “I want to go. Don’t let him ruin this for you.” He smiled at her. “We did dinner my way. Let’s do dessert your way.”
“Do you have money?” she asked him.
He laughed. “Fair question! Yeah, we have a little socked away for a rainy day.”
“Does this count as a rainy day?”
“Enough that we can pull out a little bit,” he said. “How much does ice cream cost, anyway? Twenty dollars?”
She laughed. “Five ought to cover it. Now, which way is it to this truck?”
Fifteen minutes later, Zoe was behind the wheel. Xavier sat beside her, marveling as she put the truck into gear and pulled out onto the highway. “I can’t believe you know how to do this,” he said.
“Why not?” she asked. “Most people know how to do this. You’d probably remember it pretty quickly if you tried. It’s like riding a bike.”
He glanced at her.
“You don’t know how to ride a bike,” she guessed.
