Darkness Born: Paranormal Vampire Romance (Immortal Desire Series Book 1.5)

by Scarlett West

  Her hands fanned out over the top of her skirt, smoothing it out. “Aivars won’t say. He’ll call her up as soon as Inguna returns from out of town.”

  All eight had to be present to call an official meeting. Including their coven head. Ornery old vampire. Sarma would not like this at all. He hoped she wasn’t in trouble. “Aivars is all about hierarchy, especially when it comes to Sarma and Auseklis. He loves to call the shots without letting the other elders in on the decision.”

  “You know I have no control over the situation.”

  As she spoke, the dry foliage sank below the surface. “I hope this doesn’t push her over the edge.”

  Chapter 14

  Sarma rang Gunita through the computer again but she didn’t answer. She pressed the dial button again and listened to the beep repeat. Nothing. A message popped up indicating to Gunita that Sarma had contacted her. She followed up typing a message to meet her online later that day. The evening had barely begun so maybe her mother wasn’t awake.

  She straightened Auseklis’ blankets and gurgled in his face, but he didn’t giggle. A cold shiver ran over her body. She ached for him to respond like a normal baby should. He’d gained a bit more weight with the blood they’d given him, but he remained too thin, too gaunt. He needed her. Her heart still clenched. He spent more time listless and sleeping than he should. And she could blame no one but herself for his situation.

  Sure, Velta made her into a vampire. But life wasn’t about what happened to her, but how she responded to it. Right now, she was failing miserably. Her son. Her heartmate. Her family. Her coven.

  Since the memory of Velta attacking her came up, a nasty film of disgust coated everything vampire. She could barely look at Reinis, let alone nourish herself. Even with the special infusions, her body began to waste away as if they didn’t matter. She only took the smallest bit possible. When no one could see her, she sobbed in the shower. With each day that passed, the urgency to help Auseklis weighed heavier on her. Why couldn’t she get over this stupid feeling?

  She’d seen it all again when Reinis read her mind. And now her terror had turned into a reoccurring nightmare. Velta attacking her in different ways. Hunting her. Trying to kill her. In the middle of the day, she woke up silently bawling. Afraid to wake Auseklis. Reinis had so much on his mind with their son, he didn’t need to hear more about her selfish pain. Auseklis’ gray cheeks and cries burned her like acid. Every single day.

  News of Imants and the fact that she’d been a vampire her whole life should have hit her like a nuclear bomb. But the attack haunted her. Consumed her. Drained her ability to function. Normally, she’d ask Laima for help. But she seemed distant. Didn’t offer her the normal cup of tea or offer a listening ear. Her hug was stiff and forced. Sarma used her new skills to sense the source of Laima’s troubles, but she was closed off like an iron clad door. Laima disappeared for hours, sometimes days, without telling anyone where she went. She stared off into space. And often forgot to attend to patients, something she’d never done before.

  Alone now with Auseklis, bouncing him on her knee, Sarma strained her mind searching for some clue to Imants’ stories. Nothing surfaced in her memory, but he knew real details about her life. She tried to remember the games he said they played, but she drew blanks. After meeting with him, an evil migraine had descended on her for two days, and right now it threatened to return. Imants’ revelations left two options—either someone had leaked him information about her or he had been there by her side. And that meant he really was her…who he said he was.

  Her skin crawled. Had someone spied on her and somehow set her up to believe Imants’ story? She shook her head. Who would go to the trouble and then tell those details to a complete stranger? Option two had to be the truth.

  And now she had siblings. Ako, another brother, and two sisters whose names she’d already forgotten. None of the others were at the party, and all came from Ako’s mother. The details curdled like rotten milk in her mind. And to make everything even worse, Ako now cut Sarma off like a gangrene arm.

  None of this was Sarma’s fault. She was still reeling from it all. Imants was her…she still couldn’t finish the sentence in her mind. Gunita and Imants had to have felt strongly for each other, otherwise how could an imprint have happened? Imprint was sacred, only for heartmates, and it was a bind for life. A sign that marked a mate so no one would get near that vampire. Connected them by the soul. Made it possible to fully read minds, contact each other at a distance, and delve deeply into the other’s emotions. But Gunita no longer had an imprint. How could that be? Nothing made sense.

  At least she knew why Imants had “disappeared.” Her mother had lied and said Imants had committed suicide. But why? Why didn’t she just tell her that Imants had left? Period? Clearly Gunita never, ever wanted Sarma to know about him, and even less that he was a vampire. Of course, if Sarma had known he was alive, she would have searched for him a long time ago.

  There were so many times she’d ached to have a father, someone to balance Gunita’s depressive moods, someone to greet her when she came home from school and tell her she was “daddy’s little girl.” When she was a teenager, she had trouble making friends because she grew up so isolated. When Imants disappeared, so had Gunita, only she hovered in front of Sarma like a phantom ghost.

  Why had she never craved blood? And now that she was a full, instead of a half blood, would her abilities function? Reading Reinis’ mind came easy because of the imprint, but she had difficulty reading other vampires’ thoughts. What about flying? And lighting fire in her hand?

  Then it hit her. Her powers hadn’t come in because she hadn’t accepted herself.

  But that couldn’t be all of it. If her mother hadn’t cut her off from a young age, Sarma wouldn’t have to ask herself these questions. Why did her mother do this to her? Against her will, her identity had been taken before she had a chance to know it. Sarma tapped her fingers on the table next to her armchair and combed Auseklis’ fine black hair to one side. She examined his face. He was a month old, but he should look like he was three months in human standards. Would he really unite vampire covens as the dreaming rites predicted?

  Time had been wasted. Time she could have used to develop flying, running, sensing beyond her former, wimpy, human abilities. Time she could have used to be proud of her vampire self, instead of being ground down to a pathetic, frightened female. Her mom had held back more than just secrets, she had locked away an entire life, an entire family, a part of her she wasn’t sure if she could get back. Imants could have been with her, and now she wasn’t sure she wanted any part of it.

  Auseklis yawned and curled up against her chest. As she gazed forward at the woven rug on the wall, her mouth went dry. No wonder Gunita had kept the secret all these years. She was terrified Sarma would live the horrible fate that had been her life. And Sarma had been angry with her all this time. She almost jumped out of bed to video phone her mom, right then and there, to apologize for criticizing and hating her silence.

  Yet Gunita would never accept Auseklis. At least he had one grandmother, Laima, but no grandfather. He could have one if Sarma decided to allow Imants to become a part of their lives. Sarma winced. Imants had never looked for her and lied to his family and coven about her existence. The old knot in Sarma’s shoulder that always gathered when stress got to her, pulsed in her back. Imants couldn’t be trusted.

  Late at night the next day, Sarma video phoned her mom again. When there was no answer, Sarma left her a typed message, pleading with her to answer. She prepared buckwheat on the stove. Since becoming fully vampire, the food wasn’t necessary, but the nutty flavor and warmth comforted her frayed nerves. Especially since she hadn’t fed much lately. The computer buzzed. She turned the stove on low and answered Gunita.

  “Mammu?” Sarma greeted her mother.

  “Hello, Sarma. I don’t have much time.” Gunita’s pursed her lips and tapped a pen on the table.

  Sarma co
uldn’t be sure, but it seemed her mom sat rather close to the camera. Closer than the last time. Her face occupied the whole screen “Please, don’t hang up on me. Please. There’s so much I need to tell you. I’m sorry for all that you’ve been through. I wish I could hug you. I wish I could give you the first real hug I would ever give you.”

  “What do you know about what I’ve been through?” Gunita glared at the keyboard.

  Sarma touched the screen as if she could feel her mother’s face. “I know you’re not going to be happy. Mom, first I want you to know that I’m not angry at you anymore. I want you to know I understand things now.”

  Gunita shifted away for a brief second, then shot forward again. “What could you possibly understand? This is why I don’t want to answer the calls. I told you I can’t and won’t speak about these things.”

  “I, at least, want you to know that you have a grandson. He’s full blood. That’s why I contacted you. Because you have a right to know, and because I want you in his life. To be his grandma.”

  “Full blood? As in 100 percent vampire? That makes you a full blood too! How adorable. The Adams Vampire Family with a little, mini-vampire monster. Oh yes, I’m just dying to meet him.”

  Sarma pressed her lips together and beneath the table curled her fists tight. Her heart lurched in her chest and it took everything in her not to throw the computer across the room. If this is what she thought of Auseklis, maybe she wasted her time talking to her so called mother.

  Gunita frowned and a shade of regret passed over her face. But she didn’t apologize. She fidgeted with her hands, then ran her fingers through her hair. Sarma leaned forward. Something about her mom’s surroundings didn’t look right.

  In Gunita’s time zone it should be early morning, yet things around her appeared dark. Her curtains usually hanging behind her were absent with no sunlight showing through. The room behind her appeared standard with window dressings and a bed reflecting a hotel style.

  “Where are you, Mom?”

  Her mother’s finger hover over the mouse button, just waiting to cut off the call. Gunita was on a boat, pushing away from Sarma’s shore, a blustery wind kicking up, and Sarma wasn’t sure if she would ever see her again. Sarma sensed Gunita’s heart drowning in the words she spoke.

  Gunita shifted around in her chair and moved in so close, her face blocked out the background. “I went on a trip. All of this stuff stressed me out and I needed a break. But it’s none of your business where I am.”

  Typical. She slammed up the same walls she’d built Sarma’s entire life. Something occurred to her. The words to get Gunita to talk. “I found my father Imants and want to ask you about him.”

  The screen went blank.

  Sarma’s mind spun like a top that would never stop moving. Bad move. She shouldn’t have said that. Now she pissed Gunita off. She’d never get her answers. Never find out how she’d lost all her memories. Her body wavered like it would tip off the chair.

  Chapter 15

  Gunita slapped her drenched sweater over the shower stall wall and proceeded to peel off the rest of her soaking clothes. Damn cheap umbrella turned inside out in the wind and left her exposed to the pouring rain. Her legs wobbled and her head spun. Too much whiskey and Melnais Balzams. But that burn blurred her mind. Made her forget the crap splattered before her. She plopped her purse onto the table near the bed. Good thing the leather protected the contents, otherwise she wouldn’t have a cell phone to call Dita.

  After Sarma called her, she headed off to get a cup of coffee, but ended up in a bar instead. Her lovely vampire daughter wanted to talk about all the disgusting things from her past that she needed to forget. Oh, god. Dita was right. Her daughter was a full-blood vampire. With a son. Vomit. Her worst nightmare come true.

  Yeah, so what. She broke her no going out after dark rule. Several times on this trip. The first time when she met up with that crazy Dita. Gunita stumbled to grab a towel to dry off.

  She rubbed her face and twisted up her hair. What a wicked, creepy female of a vampire, with those black lines on her face. Granted, previously, Imants had been the only vampire she’d ever met. From the moment he strode into the Latvian Hall in San Francisco, despite his being a monster, his vibe projected calm and kindness. He emanated an impressive confidence that drew everyone’s attention.

  Dita on the other hand. Oof. She oozed a dark evil, but still so smooth, like a viper snake, waiting to strike. Waiting to kill. Gunita never stopped trembling the entire, mesmerizing conversation.

  She changed into clean clothes then went about tidying her room. The lady explained the dreaded history between House of the Black Swan and House of the White Swan. What a drag. She would be pissed at Laima, too, for stealing her boyfriend after they’d been engaged. And that crazy Laima was Sarma’s fill-in mother? Just awful.

  As if Sarma weren’t tangled up in a horrible mess, now she had the worst kind of rat as a mother-in-law and pseudo mother. As a role model. Made Gunita want to puke the way Dita described how Sarma looked up to Laima. Or so Dita had heard.

  And worse, now Sarma had found her father. What the hell kind of bad luck did Gunita have? How in the world did she find Imants? What did Sarma think? That they would become one, happy, sappy, vampire family? What kind of deluded world did her so-called daughter live in? Now a full-blood monster herself. Things couldn’t get any worse than if Gunita were on board a sinking submarine.

  If she could take it all back in an instant, she would. But she couldn’t. No matter what she did, where she turned, what she chose, a stark, despicable image would stare back at her. Failure. She had failed Sarma. In every sense of the word. That failure robbed Gunita of happiness. She’d never find peace. Never be happy. All because of one male.

  All she had left was to take out the one who caused an entire lifetime of misery—Imants. She had to have him killed before he wrapped his poor, unsuspecting daughter further into his world. A world that only added up to hurt and destruction. Though she couldn’t unmake Sarma from becoming a vampire, at least she could save her from the moron who ushered her into his dark society. She shivered. Her daughter had to live off blood for eternity.

  She slumped down onto the bed, punched in the number, and waited for an answer.

  “I knew you would call,” the unmistakable, gravelly voice said.

  “Dita. I’m in.”

  Chapter 16

  Sarma slumped onto her bed and fed Auseklis, rocking him to sleep. Too many questions and answers swirled around her mind. Questions regarding how Gunita discovered Imants was a vampire and other things. He had answers she wasn’t so sure she wanted to hear.

  The wondering in life never ended, neither did the wishing he’d been there, but his story broke Sarma’s heart. Laura’s unrequited love, Ako’s parents never loving each other, and her own parents who were in love but couldn’t be with each other. That hit Sarma between the eyes. Her life narrowly missed repeating her own mother’s story.

  Gunita loved Imants and they were not allowed to be together.

  Chills rolled over her skin, though it was not cold. She rocked herself, crying into the shawl Laima had given her. Sarma wiped her eyes with a tissue. Gunita had shut down and shut everyone out. Not only had she followed the same fate as Gunita in unknowingly falling in love with Reinis, a vampire, but she almost shut him out forever before they were reunited for eternity.

  With heavy limbs, Sarma gathered her son to take him to the nursery. Daina slept in there when she needed her to, and tonight she needed a good night’s sleep. She could bottle feed him. Awake in the single bed, reading a book, her short pixie cut curled around her ears. In her left ear, three silver hoop earrings encircled the top of the curve. Daina smiled and rose. Auseklis would sleep a while anyway since he’d been fed.

  Sarma slinked back to her room, her shoulders aching with worry. She spooned her nude body against Reinis and the warmth hushed her to relax.

  “I heard your conversation wi
th Gunita earlier. Listening to you two reminds me of our broken coven. This is the first time I’ve thought of Velta in weeks. Winter’s coming and I’m not so sure I want her to die.” He shifted her toward him.

  “We’re angry, but it was better they exiled her instead of executing her. Velta’s intelligent. She’s probably in Cancun right now but listen. I have questions about things Gunita said to me. Can an imprint be renounced? My mother doesn’t have it anymore.”

  “Cancun? Too much sun for Velta. But your question. If your love for someone turns to hate and you renounce your feelings for them, the imprint will cease to exist. Gunita no longer loved Imants.” Reinis grasped her hand and caressed her fingers.

  She interlinked hers with his and squeezed them tightly. Reinis was a rock beneath her feet, holding her steady through all these changes.

  “She loved him, but when it came time to find out the truth, she couldn’t stand him anymore. I wanted to try to convince her to be Auseklis’ grandmother, but what she said really hurt. Still, time is passing and I want him to know her from childhood.”

  “Watch out. He’ll get teeth soon. We develop much faster than you, I mean, than humans do.” He laughed. “I’m still not used to you being a full-blooded vampire.” He enveloped her mouth with his.

  Their imprint grew and tingled like a delicate bell ringing. His kiss drew her in and she reached up and grasped his neck to deepen the kiss. They hadn’t made love since Auseklis had been born. Reinis had to miss it but she couldn’t get in the mood.

  She pulled away. “Talking to Gunita reminded me of the one person who was always true to me before my new life. Marita. I don’t know what to do about her. She’s probably worried sick about me.”

  “I’m sure. But Sarma, the only reason you can talk to your mom about all this is because she clearly knows about our world. Marita doesn’t. By the looks of it, I don’t think she could handle the knowledge. Gatis almost destroyed her,” Reinis responded, clutching her hand. “I’m sorry.”